Ways to die. . The mid who' s We [Haw MS "Into tiity ues u? read: - wakes u? Dinosaurs are back Aliens (with guns!) r' . reeson. Ok that's bad. I went so far into funnyjunk I ended up finding my own content.
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Ways to die

The mid who' s
We [Haw MS "Into
tiity ues u? read: - wakes u?
Dinosaurs are back
Aliens (with guns!)
r' . reeson
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Views: 24832
Favorited: 24
Submitted: 10/30/2013
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#6 - drbubbles (10/31/2013) [+] (2 replies)
Ok that's bad. I went so far into funnyjunk I ended up finding my own content.
Ok that's bad. I went so far into funnyjunk I ended up finding my own content.
#8 - freespeech (10/31/2013) [-]
Not just any kind of guns...
Not just any kind of guns...
User avatar #12 - ZeDoodler (10/31/2013) [+] (11 replies)
You were on your way home when you died.
It was a car accident. Nothing particularly remarkable, but fatal nonetheless. You left behind a wife and two children. It was a painless death. The EMTs tried their best to save you, but to no avail. Your body was so utterly shattered you were better off, trust me.
And that’s when you met me.
“What… what happened?” You asked. “Where am I?”
“You died,” I said, matter-of-factly. No point in mincing words.
“There was a… a truck and it was skidding…”
“Yup,” I said.
“I… I died?”
“Yup. But don’t feel bad about it. Everyone dies,” I said.
You looked around. There was nothingness. Just you and me. “What is this place?” You asked. “Is this the afterlife?”
“More or less,” I said.
“Are you god?” You asked.
“Yup,” I replied. “I’m God.”
“My kids… my wife,” you said.
“What about them?”
“Will they be all right?”
“That’s what I like to see,” I said. “You just died and your main concern is for your family. That’s good stuff right there.”
You looked at me with fascination. To you, I didn’t look like God. I just looked like some man. Or possibly a woman. Some vague authority figure, maybe. More of a grammar school teacher than the almighty.
“Don’t worry,” I said. “They’ll be fine. Your kids will remember you as perfect in every way. They didn’t have time to grow contempt for you. Your wife will cry on the outside, but will be secretly relieved. To be fair, your marriage was falling apart. If it’s any consolation, she’ll feel very guilty for feeling relieved.”
“Oh,” you said. “So what happens now? Do I go to heaven or hell or something?”
“Neither,” I said. “You’ll be reincarnated.”
“Ah,” you said. “So the Hindus were right,”
“All religions are right in their own way,” I said. “Walk with me.”
User avatar #15 to #14 - ZeDoodler (10/31/2013) [-]
“Every time you victimized someone,” I said, “you were victimizing yourself. Every act of kindness you’ve done, you’ve done to yourself. Every happy and sad moment ever experienced by any human was, or will be, experienced by you.”
You thought for a long time.
“Why?” You asked me. “Why do all this?”
“Because someday, you will become like me. Because that’s what you are. You’re one of my kind. You’re my child.”
“Whoa,” you said, incredulous. “You mean I’m a god?”
“No. Not yet. You’re a fetus. You’re still growing. Once you’ve lived every human life throughout all time, you will have grown enough to be born.”
“So the whole universe,” you said, “it’s just…”
“An egg.” I answered. “Now it’s time for you to move on to your next life.”
And I sent you on your way.

Story: "The Egg"
by: Andy Weir
#1 - anonymous (10/30/2013) [+] (3 replies)
The picture in robot uprising is of a die pod
#4 to #3 - drbubbles (10/30/2013) [-]
It's so terrible it's funny.
User avatar #7 - trisketthebiskit (10/31/2013) [+] (1 reply)
or mabey a god damn dinosaur lazer fight
#39 - theshadowed (10/31/2013) [-]
But the valiant dinosaurs sacrificed themselves for us
User avatar #30 - lordofthesea (10/31/2013) [-]
Dinosaur's can't come back with guns... How would a T-Rex clean his weapon? Or RELOAD? he has a big head, and little arms...

I don't think that plan was thought out very well
User avatar #23 - pokemonstheshiz (10/31/2013) [+] (2 replies)
There would never be a zombie apocalypse. Any conceivable biological phenomenon that would cause something like that would never get the chance to spread quickly enough.
#26 to #23 - endospore (10/31/2013) [-]
Yes, we've all read that Cracked article.
#10 - shaturnex ONLINE (10/31/2013) [+] (1 reply)
**shaturnex rolled a random image posted in comment #198 at why must you hurt me in this way ** how the world will end
User avatar #43 - twdeathnote (10/31/2013) [-]
The Earth would be a great candy. Crunchy on the outside, and gooey liquid center.
#40 - bleeduntildeath ONLINE (10/31/2013) [-]
this didn't seem to kill rayman's world....
#36 - solarisofcelestia (10/31/2013) [-]
Dinosaurs with guns?
#31 - Ekans (10/31/2013) [-]
Might be useful
#27 - takemythumb (10/31/2013) [+] (2 replies)
Or a meteor.
Or mankind destroys each other.
Or dark holes
Or because of those ******* trying to create a new universe with their new technology
User avatar #41 to #27 - brotherhood (10/31/2013) [-]
*ahem* we blow ourselves up. . . black holes.
which ******* ?
#11 - jalthelas (10/31/2013) [+] (1 reply)
#2 - nagafever (10/30/2013) [+] (1 reply)
**nagafever rolled a random image posted in comment #40 at I laughed for way too long at the girl ** I'm more concerned about bees soon going extinct. if that happens alot of **** is bound to go down.
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