War: World War I
British flocking recruitment centers at the outbreak of the war.
Russian troops mobilizing for the war.
French troops being mobilized.
German troops being mobilized
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Austria Hungary infantry being mobilized
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How did this war start? Well like many wars, it was because of the Balkans. This man was Archduke Franz Ferdinand. He was the heir of the Austria Hungary empire, who has annexed the balkan region. So there was a whole lot of alliances in place. At the beginning there were two major alliances, the Entente, which consisted of France, UK, and Russia. The Central Powers were Germany, Austria-Hungary and the Ottoman Empire. Course, this war didn't have to happen, it wasn't Germany's fault, it wasn't England's fault, who's fault was it? All of theirs for the alliances and instead of resolving the issue separately.
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Now what happened? See Archduke Franz Ferdinand was just cruising down the streets of Sarajevo when all of a sudden these Black Hands schmucks come along trying to kill him. They all fail. Now the driver ****** up and was in an alley, Gavrilo Princip saw him and wasted the Archduke harder than 50 Cents wished he was when he was shot. Now the Emperor Franz Joseph of Austria-Hungary declares war on Serbia. As an ally of Serbia, Russia announces full mobilization of her armed forces. This is his arrest after the assassination.
Germany mobilizes her armed forces and declares war on Russia. Two days later, Germany declares war on France. Germany declares war on neutral Belgium and invades in a right flanking move designed to defeat France quickly. As a result of this invasion, Britain declares war on Germany. But let's be honest, we all know those Belgians weren't going to stay neutral anyways, yeah that's right, we remember you Belgium.
Austria-Hungary declares war on Russia. See now, it wasn't the British that were just fighting, oh god no, it was the English, the Scottish, Welsh, Irish, Canadians, Australians, Indians, well basically if you had your allegiance to the queen, your ass was in this war.
The Battle of the Frontiers takes place on August 25, 1914. 27,000 French soldiers die on this single day in an offensive thrust to the east of Paris, towards the German borders. On the Eastern Front, one of the bloodiest and miserable fronts of the whole war, Erich Ludendorff and Paul von Hindenburg achieves its greatest victory of the war on the Eastern front against Russia at the Battle of Tennenberg.
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First Battle of the Marne halts German invasion in France. Germany did not want the war to drag long enough, and they had plans to quickly take Paris and to defend the coast so the English could not land, this would have lead to a victory if it had not been for the introduction of the Maxim machine gun a few years prior. Masses of men were gunned down because the machine gun, making 19th century tactics of calvary and rushing obsolete in this new form of warfare.
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After stopping the German advance, both sides began digging trenches, on September 15. Now this is where the war gets depressing, hardly any land was won, if any it was soon lost, thousands died, conditions grew worse. It really was grim.
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Now something beautiful happened, something rare happened, and something that shows how good we as humans can be so long as we're not from backwards countries. On Christmas Day 1914, there were some unofficial truces along the fronts. German, French, British troops came out of their trenches and didn't fight, they sang, exchanged gifts, talked some held mass, some drank some played soccer, football for you non Americans, If you want a good representation of it, I'm not sure how historically accurate it is, but just for entertainment, there's a french film called Joyeux Noel which plot is about Scottish, German and French troops on the Western Front celebrating the truce for the night.
Both the Entente and the Central alliance were desperate for an advantage in the war. Previous proven 19th century tactics were more or less worthless, huge advantages in weaponry were tearing each sides troops to shreds. Submarines and Zeppelins were used a lot in this war. When the war became a total war, the Germans hoping to relieve pressure and to get Britain to pull out of the war began bombing london with zeppelins. Britain was unable to met production for her troops began buying supplies from the US, when Germany found out the Germans set up a submarine embargo around the English waters, sinking any ship that was in it.
On May 7 U boat sinks the Lusitania. 1,198 civilians, including 128 Americans die. now the US government was pissed and the German government apologized and said they would no longer sink ships without warning. Of course, we were secretly transporting weapons on the ship.
Now the Germans were the very first to use gas against the entente, but very soon all sides began using gas. And let me tell you, mustard gas is terrible. It fills your lungs with liquid and you basically drown on land. It's important to note that early gas mask were as ****** as Joshlol's luck with girls. Or so i heard.
Almost forgot, the allies wanting to open a new front, invaded Gallipoli. Let's just say, this was on par as a tragedy and mistake as opening the doors to immigrants in Europe. The Allies pulled out December 18, 1915. The casualties were 252,000 French and British troops, and around another quarter million casualties on the Ottoman side, so basically over half a million dead for nothing.
Verdun, verdun, holy **** verdun. The longest battle of the war, the Battle of Verdun, is fought to a draw with an estimated one million casualties. This lasted 11 months from February 21 to December 18 1916
Canada takes Vimy Ridge, and without hockey sticks or pucks. Damn.
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he Battle of Jutland, the only major naval engagement of the war is fought with no clear winner. Dreadnought vs battleship vs destroyer and all of it for nothing.
The Battle of the Somme results in an estimated one million casualties and no breakthrough for the Allies. British introduce the tank, an effective weapon but far to few to make much of a difference.
British Mark 1, one of the very first tanks and by god it's total **** compared to modern tanks, but holy **** was it a tech marvel in 1916
Some politics, Rasputin is killed on December 31, 1916, Reich Foreign Secretary Zimmermann's, no not George "you can't flim flam the zim zam" Zimmerman, telegram to Mexico asking it to attack the US is discovered. Germany again declares unrestricted submarine warfare on February 1, 1916. Russian Tsar abdicates and the provisional government takes over. APRIL 6 1916, Woodrow Wilson goes to congress to declare war on Germany after the Germans continue to sink american ships. which is kinda our fault we should have been neutral but we were giving supplies to the british.
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French launch disastrous offensive at Chemin des Dames, advancing only 500 yards at the cost of 250,000 plus casualties.
April to June
Over half a million French soldiers mutiny, or "go on strike" and refuse to continue the failed offensive. Guess the government didn't think about that.
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Russian Army lead by Alexander Kerensky begins last, and disastrous, offensive in Galicia. Didn't work, got the people even more pissed. The first wave of the American Expeditionary Force lands in France, on July 3.
Third Battle of Ypres, results in minor gains, but still no breakthrough in the Western front at the cost of 700,000 casualties for both sides. On December 3 the new Russian government, represented by Leon Trotsky, signs an armistice with Germany, after Lenin overthrows the provisional one. Damn communist. Also 6 days later British capture Jerusalem from the Turks and her Arab allies.
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Germans launch the first of five major offensives to win the war before American troops appear in the trenches. German advance is finally stopped in late June and Germany fails to stop Americans to reach trenches.
British and Australian troops stop the German advance near Amiens. However, with the Russians out, the Germans could send the rest of their army to the western front. what did this cause? Paris getting shelled by German arty.
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Germans on the banks of the Marne near Paris are stopped by American forces at Chateau-Thierry. Now this is the beginning of the end for the Germans. Allied counter offensives on the Somme push the German army back and into retreat. Allied troops break through the German fortifications at the Hindenberg line.
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When asked to fight in a hopeless sea battle the germans performed mutiny and refused. This was the Kiel mutiny. October 30, 1918 Turks sign armistice. Now the Germans had allied troops at her border, instead of letting the fighting to continue inside Germany, Wilhelm surrendered to the US knowing we would be fair in comparison to the other Europeans. Yeah no Germany got even more ****** . Wilhelm is Abdicated.
On November 11, at the 11th hour, Germany signs the Armistice. The world is all ****** up. Italy sided with the Allies, Japan sided with the allies and attacked German colonies in the pacific. Over 37 million had died. Honestly, I tried to joke around, I tried to make humor, but just reading all these deaths, reading all those accounts of the dying, just how we add them all to a statistic, it's taking a strain on me. It's ******* depressing how many die in every war. Oh and guy on the right is Hitler.
There were many words that you could not stand to hear and finally only the names of places had dignity. Abstract words such as glory, honor, courage, or hallow were obscene.
Ernest Hemingway, A Farewell to Arms.
FJ I need your help, should I include other conflicts that aren't really considered wars such as the troubles or the palestinian revolt from the british onto these war comps? Vote here.
strawpoll.me/5564162
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