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#21 - trollmobile (10/16/2013) [-]
eeeeeeey
sounds like me
i can't have wheat, i can't have apples, i can't have onions, garlic, or any kind of cabbage, or anything related to cabbage
i also can't have oranges...
none of this of my own choice
all of this because of allergies.

if i eat any of the items listed above, i go through this process:
1. excessive farting, gradually smelling worse and worse, untill it's unbearable for anyone to be in the same room as me
2. stomach pains, starts about mid-way through the farting, starts as uncomfortable, becoming worse and worse, eventually feeling like being repeatedly hit in the gut with a hammer, from the inside.
3. ******** ... now, this should be the relief.. it's not.
though it is the only way to end the pain, i always postphone this as long as possible, because the pain is unbearable.
imagine ******** rusty nails dipped in acid.
all the while the little midget with the hammer inside me, hammers more and more furiously every time i try to push some out.
the worst part is that step 3 often has to be repeated 2-4 times before i'm done.

the whole process usually takes from 2-3 hours, and is so exhausting, that i'm done for for the rest of the day, and the next day.
it literally drains me so much, that i'm incapable of doing much more than getting up, eating, ******** , and breathing.

i'm often too exhausted to even play videogames.

i'm a pain in the ass to anyone that has to deal with me on a daily basis, because of how i can barely eat anything
but if they took half the pain and exhaustion, i'd gladly let them choose what to eat.
#94 to #21 - CIS White Male (10/17/2013) [-]
I only ask this in the most polite way possible, try and take no offense but...HOW THE **** DO YOU FUNCTION?! physically, you sound like an evolutionary dead end, I'm sorry.
User avatar #96 to #94 - trollmobile (10/17/2013) [-]
i avoid eating those kinds of food.
i still sometimes get some in me by accident, since it's really hard to avoid some.
the cabbage is easy enough, but garlic and onion are rather hard.
User avatar #79 to #21 - ohnomynamedoesntfi (10/17/2013) [-]
Oh hey cool Nautilus, my main Jungle <3
#76 to #21 - swagbot (10/17/2013) [-]
A ton of people are starting to get those kinds of 'allergies' nowadays!

I, for example, cannot eat ANYTHING THAT IS A SEED, much sugar, or milk.

If i do, i get this itchy, tickling, prickly, melting, sick feeling through my intestines for days, and **** out some foul-ass muck over the next week.

Meat (no chicken), Cabbage, Pineapple, Pear, Blueberry, *MAYBE* sweet potato are my safe-havens.

Its insane... and everyone thinks I'm doing it for attention...
I hate those people so much when I'm ******** ********** Solar Plasma out my ass!

**Try This: Weston Price Raw Meat Diet. No, I'm not kidding. Raw meat is beast*

www.vice.com/read/this-guy-has-eaten-nothing-but-raw-meat-for-five-years
You need to login to view this link

SOLVE YOUR DIET PROBLEM FAST... because it IS killing you!
Good luck, and PLEASE spread the word!
#25 to #21 - thegazz (10/16/2013) [-]
I'm not sure whether I should thumb this up or not.
#24 to #21 - Nameloc (10/16/2013) [-]
I'm glad that my allergies don't consist of anything edible.
Worst I get is dermatitis. In my case, it's like having eczema on your eyelids. To the point of your eyes looking like black eyes and if it gets bad enough, your eyelids will start bleeding.
User avatar #26 to #24 - trollmobile (10/16/2013) [-]
imagine going to a resturant that has 50 different dishes to choose from
statistically speaking, i would have 2 or 3 choices.
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