Valentines Day Masacre. Would you like some sock with your jizz?. hellere. oom Valentines Day Tragedy: Teen 1/ 56 Times Straight Before Dying of Heart Attack PO
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Valentines Day Masacre

Would you like some sock with your jizz?

hellere. oom
Valentines Day Tragedy:
Teen 1/ 56
Times Straight Before
Dying of Heart Attack
PORTLAND - Valentines Day ended in tragedy
for a Portland teenager after he apparently
a wood record 56 times nonstop
before dying of a heart attack. Jerome
Carpenter was found dead in his bedroom after
apparently masturbating too much. It is
speculated was suffering from
depression due to being "extremely lonely" on
Valentines Day.
jerome' s Mother called Portland police after
discovering his corpse in his room. jerome' s
mother told Huller reporters "I hour passed
...
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Views: 9862
Favorited: 12
Submitted: 02/24/2014
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What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#1 - thelastelephant (02/24/2014) [+] (3 replies)
So...who was counting?
User avatar #11 - becefalus (02/25/2014) [+] (8 replies)
wanking more than once makes my balls sore. How the **** did he manage this?
User avatar #16 to #14 - billywonka (02/25/2014) [-]
I've done 7 in a row, and that was enough to give me a horrible abdomen cramp and some blood in my cum. That's when I learned about moderation..
#5 - numbmind (02/24/2014) [+] (2 replies)
57 is the mark, i better get started.
57 is the mark, i better get started.
#4 - diksniper (02/24/2014) [-]
Mum's FW   
 ... okay maybe she might a little upset    
 maybe
Mum's FW
... okay maybe she might a little upset
maybe
#26 - doctorprofessornv ONLINE (02/25/2014) [+] (1 reply)
Who the 						****					 was counting? The last time something like this happened they claimed the number was 47. Do they count every used fapkin? (even that shouldn't work because you should be shooting blanks by at least the 7th time).
Who the **** was counting? The last time something like this happened they claimed the number was 47. Do they count every used fapkin? (even that shouldn't work because you should be shooting blanks by at least the 7th time).
#6 - WinnerofTheGame (02/24/2014) [+] (2 replies)
World record? Clearly they don't know me.
#2 - pokemonstheshiz (02/24/2014) [+] (3 replies)
56 times
holy ****
User avatar #17 - mypickinuraxe (02/25/2014) [-]
****** casuals.
#33 - huffe (02/25/2014) [-]
"jerome"
User avatar #31 - Shadow Guardian (02/25/2014) [-]
Keep Portland Weird my glorious friend, Keep Portland Weird.
User avatar #29 - ilikeeatingcheese (02/25/2014) [-]
Who counted?
#28 - herpitydorp ONLINE (02/25/2014) [-]
dis ***** didn't die of heart attack he just whacked it so hard he went to the nth dimension and transcended our reality
User avatar #25 - jimmydeenbomb (02/25/2014) [-]
i must applaud the man who died in my third favorite way. good for you sir
User avatar #23 - demigodofmadness (02/25/2014) [-]
It's fake, obviously, I shouldn't need to tell you guys that and I know most of you are aware it's fake, but for those who think, "Well gosh golly 56 times is a whole lot but man he sure accomplished something before he died." I decided I should let you know.

Sorry in advance if I've ruined your child like wonder and naivety.
User avatar #8 - Kalas (02/25/2014) [-]
Just so you guys know that's a fake new website, they are hilarious though.
#7 - anonymous (02/25/2014) [-]
Looks like masturbating is now more dangerous than weed
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