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User avatar #26 - thefluf (12/02/2015) [+] (1 reply)
stickied by rebornpotato
Musical version: George Carlin - Modern Man  - Toni Smoke Remix
User avatar #4 - armwulf (12/02/2015) [-]
Goddamn now that's a ******* poem
Someone type up that ****
User avatar #8 to #4 - frenulum ONLINE (12/02/2015) [-]
I’m a modern man, a man for the millennium. Digital and smoke free. A diversified multi-cultural, post-modern deconstruction that is anatomically and ecologically incorrect. I’ve been up linked and downloaded, I’ve been inputted and outsourced, I know the upside of downsizing, I know the downside of upgrading. I’m a high-tech low-life. A cutting edge, state-of-the-art bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond!
I’m new wave, but I’m old school and my inner child is outward bound. I’m a hot-wired, heat seeking, warm-hearted cool customer, voice activated and bio-degradable. I interface with my database, my database is in cyberspace, so I’m interactive, I’m hyperactive and from time to time I’m radioactive.

Behind the eight ball, ahead of the curve, ridin the wave, dodgin the bullet and pushin the envelope. I’m on-point, on-task, on-message and off drugs. I’ve got no need for coke and speed. I've got no urge to binge and purge. I’m in-the-moment, on-the-edge, over-the-top and under-the-radar. A high-concept, low-profile, medium-range ballistic missionary. A street-wise smart bomb. A top-gun bottom feeder. I wear power ties, I tell power lies, I take power naps and run victory laps. I’m a totally ongoing big-foot, slam-dunk, rainmaker with a pro-active outreach. A raging workaholic. A working rageaholic. Out of rehab and in denial!

I’ve got a personal trainer, a personal shopper, a personal assistant and a personal agenda. You can’t shut me up. You can’t dumb me down because I’m tireless and I’m wireless, I’m an alpha male on beta-blockers.

I’m a non-believer and an over-achiever, laid-back but fashion-forward. Up-front, down-home, low-rent, high-maintenance. Super-sized, long-lasting, high-definition, fast-acting, oven-ready and built-to-last! I’m a hands-on, foot-loose, knee-jerk head case pretty maturely post-traumatic and I’ve got a love-child that sends me hate mail.

But, I’m feeling, I’m caring, I’m healing, I’m sharing-- a supportive, bonding, nurturing primary care-giver. My output is down, but my income is up. I took a short position on the long bond and my revenue stream has its own cash-flow. I read junk mail, I eat junk food, I buy junk bonds and I watch trash sports! I’m gender specific, capital intensive, user-friendly and lactose intolerant.

I like rough sex. I like tough love. I use the “F” word in my emails and the software on my hard-drive is hardcore--no soft porn.

I bought a microwave at a mini-mall; I bought a mini-van at a mega-store. I eat fast-food in the slow lane. I’m toll-free, bite-sized, ready-to-wear and I come in all sizes. A fully-equipped, factory-authorized, hospital-tested, clinically-proven, scientifically- formulated medical miracle. I’ve been pre-wash, pre-cooked, pre-heated, pre-screened, pre-approved, pre-packaged, post-dated, freeze-dried, double-wrapped, vacuum-packed and, I have an unlimited broadband capacity.

I’m a rude dude, but I’m the real deal. Lean and mean! Cocked, locked and ready-to-rock. Rough, tough and hard to bluff. I take it slow, I go with the flow, I ride with the tide. I’ve got glide in my stride. Drivin and movin, sailin and spinin, jiving and groovin, wailin and winnin. I don’t snooze, so I don’t lose. I keep the pedal to the metal and the rubber on the road. I party hearty and lunch time is crunch time. I’m hangin in, there ain’t no doubt and I’m hangin tough, over and out!
User avatar #9 to #8 - armwulf (12/02/2015) [-]
Thank you glorious bastard.
User avatar #16 to #9 - frenulum ONLINE (12/02/2015) [-]
np
User avatar #2 - Deavas (12/01/2015) [-]
george carlin for president 2015 - 7
User avatar #5 to #2 - armwulf (12/02/2015) [-]
Sorry he ded
User avatar #7 to #5 - diobrandolover (12/02/2015) [-]
He is the perfect person then, then he will never be able to get assassinated
User avatar #6 to #5 - Deavas (12/02/2015) [-]
That's why I said 2015-7
User avatar #14 - saxong (12/02/2015) [-]
My dad always said that Carlin called himself a comedian because nobody pays to see philosophers.
#13 - newdevyx (12/02/2015) [-]
He's also spiritual lyrical miracle.
#24 - crimsongungnir (12/02/2015) [-]
Meanwhile in the comments section
#15 - shiphotel ONLINE (12/02/2015) [-]
here and there, out and around, roundabout, hither and fither, to and fro, back and forth, up and down, in and out, over and under, hippity-hoppity, round the corner, over the river and through the woods, lickety split, clocking the jizz, grinding the axe, up to no good,lippin' the bud, good n' plenty, lollygagging around, makin' the rounds, paintin' the town red, packing a load, hugging a tree, skinnin' the dogs, skip to my lou, sowin' my oats, passin' the stones, shootin' the breeze, jumpin' the fence, humpin' the horse, dancin' a jig, spinnin' it is, sippin' the cider, flexin' the pecks, groovin' my do, packin' the heat, lickin' the chicken, pinchin' the panties, docie doe
User avatar #32 to #15 - datassman ONLINE (12/02/2015) [-]
Oh **** ! It's Dr. Tran!
User avatar #21 - sinonyx (12/02/2015) [-]
"Tumblrina's genders be like..."


"..i'm gender specific.."
#22 to #21 - rebornpotato [OP](12/02/2015) [-]
GIF
How dare you poke a whole in what i've said!
#27 to #22 - anon (12/02/2015) [-]
hole*
I hate words...
User avatar #28 to #27 - rebornpotato [OP](12/02/2015) [-]
Oh **** , i didn't even see that, i have to kill myself now see you later.
User avatar #11 - thqp (12/02/2015) [-]
Carlin is THE best comedian if you ask me. Always telling the truth of things without useless ******** .
User avatar #3 - RandomMRTroll (12/01/2015) [-]
someone make a sick rap outa dis
#30 - grimbo (12/02/2015) [-]
GIF
**grimbo used "*roll picture*"**
**grimbo rolled image**This ******* old liberal scumbag just loves to hide his liberal, hate-filled agenda within a bunch of worthless words that will distract the masses. People like him are in no power to speak in public to spread their lies about why his kind are the best. **** him, please end this liberal scum before it's to late!
#31 to #30 - anon (12/02/2015) [-]
#25 - anon (12/02/2015) [-]
**anonymous used "*roll picture*"**
**anonymous rolled image** whoa dude
#23 - adrenalinbbq ONLINE (12/02/2015) [-]
He's a rude-tude-dude with an attitude, no need to be lewd unlimited fortitude....i lost it
User avatar #19 - tmbg (12/02/2015) [-]
why did this remind me of the Michael Rosin Rap?
User avatar #18 - baditch (12/02/2015) [-]
This isn't just comedy it's quality slam poetry.
#12 - lininop (12/02/2015) [-]
I'd buy his mix tape.
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