Tumblr plays DnD. . Pstart up campaign. Dplayer asks "ls gay marriage allowed in this kingdom'?" answer, “Ne, marriage is mostly fer alliance, children, and the
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Tumblr plays DnD

Pstart up campaign.
Dplayer asks "ls gay marriage allowed in this kingdom'?"
answer, “Ne, marriage is mostly fer alliance, children, and the deary. But we' ll say hetrosexuality is cholera-"
character immediately sets off en a quest m overthrew the king, usurp the throne (despite lack cf claim) and insists gay marriage.
of party gets dragged alang, because they think playing rebels might be more fun than killing lich es.
him a gem spot despite thinking this is the mast retarded premise fer a campaign ever.
Paarty can' t drum up enaugh support fer pmag marriage rebels, they try find support fer democracy.
I ' m threw them a hens and let them start a war fer democracy.
cut [r] 'JIM, -hhol Append the whale campaign fighting battles, intrigue, actually net a bad campaign.
Dplayer gets name president and makes her first act m legalize gay mannage.
mks she' s signing the law, the clouds gather and a the entire tawn is massacre by an army cf undead soldiers.
What the **** , !"
3-“ I teld mu full well that you had kill that lich befire he completes the ritual and ushers in an age cf elem darkness., Appa bently, mu draught gay marriage was mere important than net
getting killed by an army cf zambies and skeletons."
GGOOD END, in my beck
...
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Submitted: 08/07/2014
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#4 - Sworley (08/07/2014) [+] (1 reply)
see that was their own mistake for self righteously trying to apply current problems. we already have thousands of plans for zombie invasions, thats why we can talk about gay marriage.
User avatar #14 - HailtotheKing (08/07/2014) [+] (36 replies)
Alright, here is my Tumblr tabletop story.

Last year I put together this game with a few of my friends. Small group of just four people to play Pathfinder; me as the DM, a guy named Frank as our tank who rolled a barbarian, Adolfo who played as a caster/DPS, and Olivia who played as a ranger. All super cool people but if you have ever tried to set up a tabletop game before you know that it attracts trendy nerds like moths to a flame. So, what was supose to be a small game of just three PCs turned into a ************ of people wanting to seem geeky by playing D&D. At one point we had nine people who I only barely knew that showed up because they wanted to say they actually once played some form of tabletop. Most of these people dropped out after the first week but one girl stayed. I will call her Mel.

Mel used Tumblr. She used Tumblr a LOT. She was the typical Tumblrette who was a feminist, supported all those sexual labels, tried to fight the patriarchy, ect. On top of that she was over weight, constantly dressed/dyed her hair in a way that would try to get attention, and had a voice that made Golbert Gottfrieds sound like a chorus of heavenly angels. Mel was awful, inside and out, but I try to never turn anyone away from my table top games so when she showed up for out second session I happily found a place for her in the campaign.

She wanted to be a cleric healer so I handed her a character sheet and gave her all the reading material; told her to find a good mix of class and race that she liked then to pick a deity to call upon for her magical abilities. While she was doing that I helped a few other people figure out who they wanted to be and found little sections where they could pop into the plot. At the end of the night I had about seven character sheets of seven different PCs that I had to look over to make sure everything was balanced. Nearly everyone was fine except for Mels. Hers was a ******* train wreck.

I'l continue in a reply.
User avatar #24 to #23 - HailtotheKing (08/08/2014) [-]
"The mighty dire goblin lifts you off the ground and slices the fabric holding your armor together. It falls to the ground and you dangle there unprotected. He cuts the belt from your trousers, your shift straps, and rips off any other scrap you have left on you. You hand from his callused fingers completely naked with only your shoes covering any skin."

Everyone was just looking as me awe struck, especially Mel who had finally shut up with the first time that night.

"The goblin turns his head and calls to the rest of his family: 'how long has it been since we've had a good breading girl! This one looks nice and strong, she can probably take it!' He tosses you back to a crowd of two dozen goblins and they carry you off to the mines beneath. You are now serve as their slave, maid, and whore who occasionally pops out a new goblin baby for the rest of the pack. But don't worry, you're nice and strong after all. You can take it."

The rest of the group got EXP and loot. They were all happy. Mel left the group and I never heard from her again.
#31 - phudgepacker (08/08/2014) [+] (2 replies)
MFW i dont play Basements and Dinosaurs
User avatar #18 - OOOnelsonOOO (08/08/2014) [+] (3 replies)
First Time as DM and the guys were trying to get info from a merchant about the towns problem (Plan was to have a dragon stealing sheep, and when they got there it was a wurm nest and ....... anyways)

Text styles to indicate character. Wizard player. Elf Player Merchant/Me

Hello adventurers, would you care to buy anything for your travels?
I cast a spell to make his backpack smell like strawberries. (Rolls 19)
I want some strawberries.
Sorry sir, it is the middle of winter, they are not in season, and I have none to sell.
I can smell them.
Odd, I too smell them <checks bag>
While he's checking his bag, I want to soil his pants. And make them smell like piss. (rolls a 18)
Embarrassed, the merchant tries to hind the wetness, and excuses himself behind his stall.
Did you just ******* piss yourself?
No, I seem to have split and ointment from my bag on myself.
I want to cast an enchantment on him to make him my slave. (rolls 1)

The merchant grows to be four times his original height and starts attacking

**** .
#55 - tomthehippie (08/08/2014) [-]
&gt;Playing as a monk who lives in the windy village   
&gt;holy magic and a gun, cause every monk needs to shoot a bitch every so often   
&gt;wears nothing but a trenchcoat.   
&gt;NOTHING. And lives in the windy village   
&gt;we might have been smoking weed on this campaign   
&gt;fighting Dark Elves in the entrance to a cave right after sundown   
&gt;gust of wind   
&gt;flashes my junk at the Dark Elves   
&gt;argue with DM I should be able to roll for distraction sense they are lead by a High Priestess   
&gt;DM says if I roll anything less than a 17 she'll rip my junk off with her whip.   
&gt;challenge accepted   
&gt;roll a 17   
&gt;mfw Dark Elf High Priestess takes an arrow to the eye because she she was too busy staring at my junk  doctor is DM, FJ is co players and I am 4chan
>Playing as a monk who lives in the windy village
>holy magic and a gun, cause every monk needs to shoot a bitch every so often
>wears nothing but a trenchcoat.
>NOTHING. And lives in the windy village
>we might have been smoking weed on this campaign
>fighting Dark Elves in the entrance to a cave right after sundown
>gust of wind
>flashes my junk at the Dark Elves
>argue with DM I should be able to roll for distraction sense they are lead by a High Priestess
>DM says if I roll anything less than a 17 she'll rip my junk off with her whip.
>challenge accepted
>roll a 17
>mfw Dark Elf High Priestess takes an arrow to the eye because she she was too busy staring at my junk doctor is DM, FJ is co players and I am 4chan
#1 - onewithpokerface (08/07/2014) [-]
this is a good post.
if nothing else, have a seal for your efforts.
#43 - MrDeadiron (08/08/2014) [+] (1 reply)
>Get caught in elf village with party because I ****** the the mayors wife
>Try to talk my way out of it but our Golem goes ape **** and starts choke slamming people
>Fight ensues
>I start wrestling with mayor in an attempt to suplex him
>Elf mayor is aroused
>I roll for penetration
>20
>The force of my penetration causes him to explode
>DM claims it's because of air pockets
#17 - krasnogvardiech (08/08/2014) [+] (19 replies)
I do declare it is storytime, FJ.

This be the only recorded 2 on the Henderson Scale of Plot Derailment.
#62 - megayoming (08/08/2014) [+] (1 reply)
&gt;be me after 4 weeks of playing DnD its a long campaign man   
&gt;Playing as a armless Mage using Pure arcane magic as my arms.   
&gt;Party consists of mostly warriors and one healer   
&gt;playing a dangerous game with a horde of sex crazed demons.   
&gt;our only healer gets caught up in a spell from one of the demons   
&gt; &quot;Used my arms to infuse a few of the demons as mindless slaves&quot;   
&gt;mfw i rolled a critical and now had 500 Demons as my personal guard no arms tho.   
&gt;Healer was hit with Spell of transformation turned demon he was also possessed.   
&gt;Released healer from Servitude.   
&gt;Group now 						****					 pissed furious because one of the demons has a spellbook   
&gt;I divide the loot but keep the spellbook spell of &quot;Domination&quot;   
&gt;I use it to control the demons roll is good. then i get my arms back.   
&gt;I am now Armless Mage the Roller of Arms.
>be me after 4 weeks of playing DnD its a long campaign man
>Playing as a armless Mage using Pure arcane magic as my arms.
>Party consists of mostly warriors and one healer
>playing a dangerous game with a horde of sex crazed demons.
>our only healer gets caught up in a spell from one of the demons
> "Used my arms to infuse a few of the demons as mindless slaves"
>mfw i rolled a critical and now had 500 Demons as my personal guard no arms tho.
>Healer was hit with Spell of transformation turned demon he was also possessed.
>Released healer from Servitude.
>Group now **** pissed furious because one of the demons has a spellbook
>I divide the loot but keep the spellbook spell of "Domination"
>I use it to control the demons roll is good. then i get my arms back.
>I am now Armless Mage the Roller of Arms.
User avatar #16 - badgerbaiting (08/08/2014) [+] (3 replies)
Does anyone have that story about the feminazi who killed off all men in a game of DnD?
#21 to #16 - psykojet (08/08/2014) [-]
This one?
User avatar #96 - friendlyanonymous (08/08/2014) [+] (1 reply)
>Playing D&D for the first time in my life
>No idea what the **** is going on
>Friend does most of my character sheet as an explanation
>Playing for maybe 5 minutes after they lay out the story for me and all
>Find bandit (intended to teach me about combat)
>I say I want to stab him
>"You have no weapon yet. You are a captive. You gotta let the guards protect you."
>"I can defend myself. Let me stab him"
>"Fine. Roll." and then he said something about strength
>Rolled 1
>Asked them what happened.
>"Your hand bounces off the bandits chest, and you break your fingers while trying to shove your hand in his ribs. The bandit retaliates and stabs you, finishing you off."

I'm really bad.
User avatar #38 - Temperance (08/08/2014) [+] (8 replies)
Basically the "good" ending of Fable 3...

... **** that piece of **** game.
User avatar #42 to #38 - Temperance (08/08/2014) [-]
**** your red thumb! Fable 3 sucked ass and you know it!
#35 - usarmyexplain ONLINE (08/08/2014) [+] (4 replies)
MFW almost the same thing is happening IRL
MFW almost the same thing is happening IRL
#29 - gearhead (08/08/2014) [-]
**gearhead rolled image** you must be an idiot sir, that is clearly not tumblr
User avatar #60 - Lintutu (08/08/2014) [-]
I don't know how t play DnD, but i would like to learn. All these amazing possibilities that are not restricted like video games
#88 - supercookieduster (08/08/2014) [-]
sad cuz real life
User avatar #110 - snacky (08/08/2014) [+] (6 replies)
Ok ive been wanting to start playing Dnd on pc what game should i get cus steam has like 8
#113 to #110 - wraithguard (08/08/2014) [-]
Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic
Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic II The Sith Lords.

Best damn Star Wars game I've ever played.
for number 2, get the Restored Content Mod. fixes bugs, and restores dialogues
#70 - redbannerman (08/08/2014) [+] (1 reply)
&gt;In a campaign   
&gt;We're traveling with this cursed fellow who goes on random rampages because hurrdurr curse   
&gt;Some dashing rouge shows up and delivers Cheesy Line #12390290   
&gt;He's on a tree   
&gt;I recently got a massive str boost and also permanently enlarged myself so I'm now LARGE   
&gt;I tried to recreate Garen from LoL just for kicks   
&gt;my str is 32 at this point   
&gt;&quot;I trip the tree&quot;-me   
&gt;Laughter ensues   
&gt;&quot;roll it&quot;   
&gt;nat 20   
&gt;						*******					 tripped a great oak with my gargantuan greatsword of justice   
&gt;killed dashing rouge in process   
&gt;More laughter ensues
>In a campaign
>We're traveling with this cursed fellow who goes on random rampages because hurrdurr curse
>Some dashing rouge shows up and delivers Cheesy Line #12390290
>He's on a tree
>I recently got a massive str boost and also permanently enlarged myself so I'm now LARGE
>I tried to recreate Garen from LoL just for kicks
>my str is 32 at this point
>"I trip the tree"-me
>Laughter ensues
>"roll it"
>nat 20
> ******* tripped a great oak with my gargantuan greatsword of justice
>killed dashing rouge in process
>More laughter ensues
#78 - tosatsu (08/08/2014) [-]
Voted for best DM. Would play with.
Voted for best DM. Would play with.
#100 - urapooper (08/08/2014) [+] (2 replies)
I want to watch a game or become a DM.
#114 to #102 - wraithguard (08/08/2014) [-]
at least he's not a mac
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