Tumblr comp. . twinkle twinkle little prick you have a really tiny dick stop shaming girls for who they screw just because it isn' t you gre‘ acurate: I can' t  Tumblr comp twinkle little prick you have a really tiny dick stop shaming girls for who they screw just because it isn' t gre‘ acurate: I can'
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twinkle twinkle little prick
you have a really tiny dick
stop shaming girls for who they
screw
just because it isn' t you
gre‘ acurate:
I can' t hang out tomorrow i' m too
busy doing nothing alone sorry
simmer
If I ever see you guys in real life
I' m screaming your URL as loud
as I can
I dare you.
one time this kid sneezed in
class and i said "goodnight"
basically my social skills
i seriously laughed at this hr like 3
years
it' s kinda funny how when you
get older you start to enjoy the
things you hated as a kid like
taking naps and getting
spanked
the second one was kind of
unexpected
but no one is disagreeing
I can hear my brother have sex with
his girlfriend next door and there is
just a lot of bed creaking and I just
heard her say 'Are you even trying?'
and I laughed so hard my brother
came into the room to tell me to fuck
off
taillow:
is that a knife in your pocket or are
you just happy to yeah fuck he' s got
a knife everyone run
my grandpa has a date tonight
and hes really old and in a
wheelchair and has to drag
around this breathing machine but
hes just sitting there waiting for
the hospice shuttle to take him to
pick up his date and he looks
SUPER EXCITED and its the cutest
thing Ne ever seen
update he came home and i asked
him how it went and he said, "i
should have taken an extra tank of
oxygen because she took my
BREATH AWAY"
today i accidentally dropped my
pencil and when i reached down to
get it i had this really awkward hand
touch with a guy that was going to
pick it up for me and he goes "oh i
see how it is" with a flirty face and i
panicked so i Just blurted 'Tm a
lesbian" and then he got really quiet
glammetal:
so i came up with a joke the other
day while i was showering
and it' s quite possibly the dumbest
thing We ever thought
but i laughed for a good tive minutes
out loud in the shower
my mom thought something was
wrong with me
okay here was an attorney defends
a man sued for walking around town
in his underwear. it was a brief
case.
mime
when i was in tth grade a boy liked
me but i thought he was annoying,
so on the playground he tried to ask
me to be his girlfriend and i said no
and i had to think of an excuse so i
started hugging a tree and i told him
the tree was my boyfriend. then later
i saw him kicking the tree and i felt
kinda bad
I THREW A GRAPE IN THE AIR
TO CATCH T IN MY MOUTH
BUT IT WENT TOO HIGH AND
HYTHE CHUNG AND THERE
WAS A SPADER THERE AND
THE SPIDER FELL AND SO
DID THE GRAPE AND THEY
BOTH LANDED ON MY FACE
AND I STILL HAVEN' T
STOPPED SCREAMING
read the first line in my head in
an tune clean me maybe rm so
stupid
I threw a grape in the air
I wanna catch it i swear
It hit a spider that tell
and now they' re on my has
I ALMOST GOT INTO A CAR
CRASH JUST NOW MY LAST
WORDS WOULD' BEEN "THAT
CLOUD LOOKS LIKE A DICK."
STOP REBLOGGING THIS YOU
ASSHOLES I COULD’ DIED
I) was
at salad
in int
still no!
we ll Its
we M
war
In my in
England and
gray m
Amara.
like you KIDDING
its no BEEN
THIS SINCE IRAS
mus use Ts
not
uemm
WHAT ABOUT CANADA.
may
WHAT ABOUT .. 2
one time this guy was hitting on me
and he said 'Tm loving the whole
blonde hair, blue eyes thing" and I
said "so did hitler" I literally said that
to a person
my Junie insect is ill! tty because " name is actually
what d 6003
so does a use
an yes. the allusive use known lo! owing
you have not
experienced true panic
until you come face to
face with an
overflowing toilet
at a trated' s house
During a lane): party.
And that' s the only bathroom.
And there' s a line.
what depths of hell did you guys
spawn from
true self control is waiting until
the movie starts to eat your
popcorn
why would the movie eat my
popcorn
in Mesh,?
...
+1774
Views: 76139 Submitted: 10/28/2013
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Leave a comment Refresh Comments (296)
[ 296 comments ]
> hey anon, wanna give your opinion?
asd
#302 - rebuttal [OP]
Reply +4 123456789123345869
(10/29/2013) [+] (2 replies)
stickied by rebuttal
top of the front page i thank all of you bastards for this
top of the front page i thank all of you bastards for this
User avatar #307 to #302 - rarityrarityrarity
Reply +5 123456789123345869
(10/29/2013) [-]
I love it how when people say they are thankful for making it to the front page they get thumbed down. Not that thumbs mean anything but its still pretty retarded.
User avatar #308 to #307 - rebuttal [OP]
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(10/29/2013) [-]
yea but im thankfull
#4 - bobillho
Reply +242 123456789123345869
(10/28/2013) [-]
dat last one
dat last one
#296 to #4 - anon id: 70adc8bb
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/29/2013) [-]
you ******* nazi
User avatar #86 to #4 - tacticalhog
Reply +4 123456789123345869
(10/29/2013) [-]
Can anyone explain the last one please?
User avatar #101 to #86 - Durp
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(10/29/2013) [-]
The hardest part of a movie is waiting until the film starts before you begin to eat your popcorn.

The way it was typed out read as if the movie itself was eating your popcorn.
#104 to #86 - anon id: 7cffd466
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/29/2013) [-]
"Wait until the movie starts to eat your popcorn"

That can be taken two ways. The normal way, which is that you wait until the movie starts before you eat your popcorn. Or the way that the reply assumes he meant, which is that you wait until the movie is the thing eating your popcorn.
User avatar #175 to #4 - exotic
Reply +10 123456789123345869
(10/29/2013) [-]
I don't understand the last one
User avatar #176 to #175 - exotic
Reply +19 123456789123345869
(10/29/2013) [-]
nevermind i get it
#180 to #176 - anon id: 983b9e0a
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/29/2013) [-]
faggot
#1 - kampi
Reply +141 123456789123345869
(10/28/2013) [-]
"grG'DAYMATEy"
"grG'DAYMATEy"
#12 to #1 - anon id: aea05fcc
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/29/2013) [-]
The 51st shade of gray.
#298 to #1 - anon id: 70adc8bb
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/29/2013) [-]
go suck a dick
User avatar #144 to #1 - demacianhooker
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(10/29/2013) [-]
I am Australian and I can confirm this.
#8 to #1 - bonlino
Reply +8 123456789123345869
(10/28/2013) [-]
i lost my **** too.
i lost my **** too.
#132 - ainise
Reply -24 123456789123345869
(10/29/2013) [-]
If a girl says "I'm a lesbian" just return "Hey, I'm a fan of the pussy too" or some ****. Don't beta out, most lesbians are bi.
User avatar #133 to #132 - annogram
Reply +5 123456789123345869
(10/29/2013) [-]
no...most lesbians are lesbians otherwise they'd be bisexuals
#135 to #133 - ainise
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(10/29/2013) [-]
Honestly? I've yet to find a single lesbian who hasn't or won't **** a man. They just prefer women for relationships.
User avatar #137 to #135 - annogram
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(10/29/2013) [-]
every lesbian i've ever met, actually any homosexual i've ever met, is homosexual. If they were bisexual why would they advertise that they're lesbians?
#138 to #137 - ainise
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(10/29/2013) [-]
Again..as i just explained.. They prefer relationships with women.

I'm not saying it makes sense, I'm just saying that's what I've experienced.
User avatar #147 to #138 - aldheim
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(10/29/2013) [-]
Is there a word for racist but with homosexuals?
Because what you just said is pretty much that.
#152 to #147 - ainise
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(10/29/2013) [-]
Hmm? Can't say I follow.

I generally hang out with women, and most of the ladies I know who call themselves lesbians to people they don't know, aren't truly women-only, just prefer to be with women. However, I've yet to meet a woman who's tagged herself as a lesbian who doesn't mind a fling with a guy.

I don't really see how that makes me "racist towards homosexuals".
User avatar #153 to #152 - aldheim
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(10/29/2013) [-]
Making a generalisation of a group of people unrelated to the traits that put them in said group, like saying a person is a thief because they have dark skin or saying they're perverted because they're from France.

Not nearly as bad as either of those examples, but the same principle.
If your experience has shown you only bisexual women then fair enough that you'd think it the norm, but the majority of homosexual people are just that: homosexual.
#154 to #153 - ainise
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(10/29/2013) [-]
"From my experience, I've never met a lesbian who wasn't bi. You might have a shot at a one night stand".

This was the original post's intended meaning. I'm not really sure how this makes me "racist towards homosexuals".
User avatar #157 to #154 - aldheim
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(10/29/2013) [-]
"From my experience, I've never met a lesbian who wasn't bi. You might have a shot at a one night stand".

"If a girl says "I'm a lesbian" just return "Hey, I'm a fan of the pussy too" or some ****. Don't beta out, most lesbians are bi."

Those make for two very different quotes.
User avatar #140 to #138 - annogram
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(10/29/2013) [-]
i think there's a fundamental difference in how we see homosexuals, in my mind if someone is attracted to one sex or both is something they can't control, not something they "prefer". there might be social or family pressures that make them at least be with someone they don't like once but if someone is a lesbian asking them for sex might work but they won't be attracted to you because well...she's attracted to women
User avatar #148 to #140 - Sethorein
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(10/29/2013) [-]
sexuality is a continuum with individuals falling anywhere between homosexual, and heterosexual. There are probably a bunch of homosexuals who aren't THAT homosexual but do prefer the company of their own gender to that of the opposite gender which is why they don't identify as bi...
User avatar #142 to #132 - dafiltafish
Reply +8 123456789123345869
(10/29/2013) [-]
I would give you $50 if you try that on a chick at a lesbian bar and get positive results. (video evidence required)
User avatar #155 to #132 - iHAXnoobs
Reply +33 123456789123345869
(10/29/2013) [-]
"most lesbians are bi"
most
lesbians
are
bi
do you even understand what the **** you just said?
#156 to #155 - ainise
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(10/29/2013) [-]
Most lesbians that I have met, are not strictly lesbian. I have to this day never met a single lesbian who either hasn't, or simply won't, **** a man. Relationships may be out of the question - but one night stands generally aren't.
User avatar #158 to #156 - iHAXnoobs
Reply +7 123456789123345869
(10/29/2013) [-]
Lesbian: A woman who is only attracted to women
Bisexual: someone who is attracted to both sexes
IF SHE WILL **** MEN SHE ISNT LESBIAN, IT DOESNT MATTER IF SHE CALLS HERSELF LESBIAN, SHE ISN'T.
#249 to #155 - anon id: 528c08c1
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/29/2013) [-]
I was just reading this thread and I almost thought it was a rage thread, until I realized the purpled out words are "lesbians" (for anons: 2 women in love)

Admin... why is "lesbian" considered a bad word?
User avatar #263 to #249 - poncakeforlife
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(10/29/2013) [-]
Because this this site has changed into a nursery. Who knows, perhaps in the future A D M I N will think "man" and "woman" is considered too sexual and he will censor it.
#127 - organicglory
Reply +33 123456789123345869
(10/29/2013) [-]
is that a knife in your pocket or oh **** thats a knife everyone run
#128 - I Am Monkey
Reply +28 123456789123345869
(10/29/2013) [-]
I'm impressed; nobody replied "done", "I can't", "omg" or "did you just?"
User avatar #272 to #128 - onewithpokerface
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/29/2013) [-]
I seriously literally have been laughing at this for three years
User avatar #317 to #128 - applesdontpee
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(05/24/2014) [-]
i read "i have lost the ability to tucan" wow this was from 7 months ago
#149 to #128 - aldheim
Reply +5 123456789123345869
(10/29/2013) [-]
Until you did it.
User avatar #174 to #128 - bagguhsleep
Reply +15 123456789123345869
(10/29/2013) [-]
did
you
really think we would do that? It was a pretty funny post -- granted, some were on the annoying run-on essay type, but it wasn't too bad. I hate that **** as much as the next guy, but sometimes you have to stop, think, and realize that tumblr and funnyjunk are made up of almost completely different people with different tastes who belong to a community with an entirely different aptitude for expression.
#113 - phaegitt
Reply +23 123456789123345869
(10/29/2013) [-]
Congrats, you made it to the comments.
#121 to #113 - boomshakalarka
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(10/29/2013) [-]
Ah, an oldie but goldie.
User avatar #115 to #113 - nyangiraffe
Reply +6 123456789123345869
(10/29/2013) [-]
Is that Tim Allen in the bottom right?
User avatar #116 to #115 - phaegitt
Reply +5 123456789123345869
(10/29/2013) [-]
he can be anything you want him to be ;)
User avatar #125 to #115 - mrpavelowgrimm
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(10/29/2013) [-]
I have seem your comments on content before. Juts now I realized that's Annie.

.
#151 to #125 - nyangiraffe
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(10/29/2013) [-]
Yup yup
Yup yup
#183 - maaarknuuuut
Reply +19 123456789123345869
(10/29/2013) [-]
#208 to #183 - playerdous
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(10/29/2013) [-]
That's
That's
#268 - hauntzor
Reply +17 123456789123345869
(10/29/2013) [-]
"I'm loving the whole 'blond hair, blue eyes' thing."   
"So did Hitler."   
   
If that isn't the smoothest "I'm not interested" line ever spoken, then I don't know what is.
"I'm loving the whole 'blond hair, blue eyes' thing."
"So did Hitler."

If that isn't the smoothest "I'm not interested" line ever spoken, then I don't know what is.
#293 to #268 - anon id: 476f058d
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/29/2013) [-]
**********
User avatar #279 to #268 - yunoknow
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(10/29/2013) [-]
Nein.
User avatar #15 - skullzer
Reply +17 123456789123345869
(10/29/2013) [-]
Tumblr really varies from time to time. Sometimes it's cancerous and other times it's really ******* funny
User avatar #305 to #15 - cacachaud
Reply -2 123456789123345869
(10/29/2013) [-]
listen here you piece of ****
User avatar #217 to #15 - bluedwarf
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(10/29/2013) [-]
Damn those cool new websites I can't even figure out how to use it, where is the funny and how do you comment.
User avatar #53 to #15 - KingJuan
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(10/29/2013) [-]
just like funnyjunk
#123 to #53 - shadowxmarrow
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(10/29/2013) [-]
just like every website actually.
every good website has its cancer, its a shame that tumblr's is most very well known
#211 - negroname
Reply +16 123456789123345869
(10/29/2013) [-]