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truth some drop bombs

I hate it when women quote Marilyn Monroe to explain
why men should put up with their ******** .
If you can' t handle me at my worst, you don' t deserve
me at my best." Well, maybe he doesn' t deserve you
at your worst, either. Maybe baking a lasagna doesn' t
make up for ******* his friend, and then calling him a
pussy when he cries about it.
Why would anyone take advice from Marilyn
Monroe? She committed suicide. Or was murdered.
We don' t know. But we do know at least one person
could mat handle her at her worst.
Cate_ Gary
...
+1781
Views: 47299
Favorited: 120
Submitted: 10/10/2015
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64 comments displayed.
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+5
#56 to #7 - newdevyx (10/11/2015) [-]
Skeletons these days...
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+6
#20 to #7 - virck (10/11/2015) [-]
Way out of my league on this one...
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+6
User avatar #25 to #7 - machineemperor (10/11/2015) [-]
weird question but does anyone have the little music video that has Mr Skeletor dooting on the horn?
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+26
#30 to #29 - lujan (10/11/2015) [-]
longer version
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+2
User avatar #32 to #30 - machineemperor (10/11/2015) [-]
thank you! i was looking for this one!
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+1
User avatar #48 to #31 - guenane (10/11/2015) [-]
Pretty catchy song, can i have the source on this ? pls not darude spookstorm
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+3
#49 to #48 - FuckTheWhat ONLINE (10/11/2015) [-]
Seconded on this request
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+1
#61 to #48 - dabaze (10/11/2015) [-]
It's "Guerilla Laments - Diablo Swing Orchestra".

Wow, im being productive today...

Diablo Swing Orchestra - Guerilla Laments
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0
User avatar #58 to #30 - wtfduud (10/11/2015) [-]
The song is called "Bleed" if anyone was wondering.
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+13
#51 to #7 - spanishninja ONLINE (10/11/2015) [-]
HAWT
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+42
#14 - Minnesota (10/11/2015) [-]
"... one person could not handle her at her worst." I'm not certain, but I have a guess who it might be. cough cough CIA assassination plot cough cough
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+11
#52 to #14 - smokeyrp (10/11/2015) [-]
Also: Ask not what you can do for a blowjob but what a blowjob can do for you!
-JFK
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+131
User avatar #16 to #14 - bendingtimeisgood ONLINE (10/11/2015) [-]
JFK assassinated Marilyn Monroe, so Marilyn Monroe's ghost assassinated him back. Illuminati confirmed.
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+2
#35 to #16 - camcook (10/11/2015) [-]
lmfao
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0
User avatar #26 - hurpfry (10/11/2015) [-]
Wait, but Marilyn Monroe OD'd... am I mistaken?
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+1
#36 to #26 - anon (10/11/2015) [-]
it was a hit
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+9
User avatar #27 to #26 - peezle (10/11/2015) [-]
Due to the shoddy handling of the case, there are may that believe that she was murdered.
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+24
User avatar #33 to #26 - leonhardt (10/11/2015) [-]
She Marilyn MonrOD'd
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-7
User avatar #1 - martycamp (10/10/2015) [-]
In b4 "a female comedian not making a joke about sex?!"
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-8
User avatar #23 to #1 - catburglarpenis (10/11/2015) [-]
Take your inb4 and leave good sir. Neither you nor it are needed here. I'm afraid your scrublordlike nature has been revealed for all to see, and it is irreparable. You may find happiness on another message board, but it is far more likely that the screaming will only stop when you finally, mercifully, end your own life.

The sweet release of death will free you, Thanatos will embrace you, and we all will be a bit more happy. It is truly the best course of action, you understand.
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+1
User avatar #60 to #44 - guanyu (10/11/2015) [-]
German Guy Fieri?
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+1
User avatar #53 to #23 - urbanknightx (10/11/2015) [-]
Nice pasta, bruv. I'll add it to my collection!
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+2
#62 to #53 - catburglarpenis (10/11/2015) [-]
Yeah I tried to find the video of Big Man Tyrone saying basically the same thing (which would have been FJ approved) but I couldn't find it. My failure has led me to red thumbs. I accept your red thumbs, and give you this in return.
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+4
#2 to #1 - anon (10/10/2015) [-]
this is her only joke not about sex. Actually there's one other aboutcaitlyn jenner which people dont like because it condeluded, has bad wording and outputs everyone making her an asshole.
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+2
#21 to #2 - migueldecervantes (10/11/2015) [-]
Never use the word ''condeluded'' again.
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+1
User avatar #22 to #21 - slothboner (10/11/2015) [-]
It was just a prank, calm the **** down
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+1
#24 to #22 - migueldecervantes (10/11/2015) [-]
>use wrong word
>called out for it
>"It's just a ******* prank, bruh. Jesus ******* Christ, someone's going crazy here! It was just an evident prank, the nature in actuality of which should never be imagined since it is so ******* obvious that it is a prank, bruh.

k <3
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+1
User avatar #54 to #24 - slothboner (10/11/2015) [-]
.....I was sarcastically calling you out as a prank.... it was just a prank bruh!
How did you not see this coming? It was a prank bruh relax.
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0
#63 to #54 - migueldecervantes (10/11/2015) [-]
>[does something]
>"Dude, that's ******* retarded. You are now considered a retard by anyone who stumbles upon this message."
>"bruh, I was totally [doing something else]. Lol, but it's okay. You're cool, bruh. Please, don't make fun of me anymore bruh."

You are such an idiotic fagot, it must be something difficult to come to terms with.
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0
User avatar #15 to #2 - oranyonereally (10/11/2015) [-]
proof
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+7
User avatar #6 to #1 - voteshantae (10/10/2015) [-]
lol you're not wrong
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+38
#3 to #1 - vladi (10/10/2015) [-]
Sex and women. That's all they joke about really, this case is no exception. I find that older women make the best female comedians, at least they sometimes makes jokes not about (their) sex.
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+2
User avatar #4 to #3 - iqequalzero (10/10/2015) [-]
Wanda Sykes is the best one imo.
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+20
#5 to #4 - vladi (10/10/2015) [-]
Sandi Toksvig. She looks like a strict grandmother, but she says some pretty hilarious **** .
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+10
#9 to #5 - anon (10/10/2015) [-]
Toksvig is ******* glorious on every QI episode she's in.
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+1
User avatar #46 to #9 - vladi (10/11/2015) [-]
Ye she is.
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+7
#11 to #5 - lordraine ONLINE (10/11/2015) [-]
She's also pro completely unrestrained immigration and has openly argued that feelings are more important than facts.

"When the Hungarian boarder was closed to bar entrance into Christian Europe, it was perhaps the single most un-Christian thing I have ever seen."

So when the western world is alone, we're not Christian, you're racist to suggest that our society is, and to imply that we should place more value on Christian moral and ethical standards makes you a backwards monster, but when it's time for the economic migrants to come in and collapse our economies, suddenly we need to do the good Christian thing and let them overrun us all and turn every nation into a third world nation?

The left is so hypocritical. All bleeding heart, no wisdom. If they really wanted to help these people, they'd send everyone back and then go help fix their countries. That would be true charity, real biblical charity. This is nothing more than glorified self-destruction. European politicians are committing genocide against itself by the very EU defination of genocide.

Emotions are more important than logic. Ignore the numbers and look at the people. Tomorrow doesn't matter. They are more important than us because I say so and I hate myself.

She should have stuck to being witty. She was good at that.
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+1
User avatar #47 to #11 - vladi (10/11/2015) [-]
Man, don't you ******* bring politics into this. It is seperate from her comedic talent.
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0
User avatar #10 to #3 - gabsmatags (10/11/2015) [-]
Iliza Schlesinger, Tig Notaro, Anjelah Johnson...
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0
User avatar #8 to #3 - MasterManiac (10/10/2015) [-]
The only other jokes are either overused stereotypes, completely cringeworthy or really forced. The only female comedians that come to mind as being quite decent are Katherine Ryan and Jo Brand.
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+3
#12 to #8 - Jowi (10/11/2015) [-]
Sarah Pascoe I think can be added to that list
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+2
User avatar #40 to #8 - luluwho (10/11/2015) [-]
You missed Philys Diller, she was the original class act. I got to see her show the year before she died, she was awesome.
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+1
#50 to #8 - anon (10/11/2015) [-]
Jo Brand?
You mean the fat woman that only ever jokes about sex, her husband, how **** her husband is and having sex (or not) with her husband?
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+27
User avatar #13 to #1 - dagold (10/11/2015) [-]
It is pretty much a formula at this point:

Straight white man: Family and situational comedy
Gay white man: comparing gay people to straight people
Straight White woman: sex
Gay white woman: Sex, comparing gay people to straight people
Black or hispanic: Race, culture. For women just add sex.
Fat people: food, comparing fat people to skinny people
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+2
User avatar #17 to #13 - balor (10/11/2015) [-]
Irish men: Corn beef, cabbage, and potatoes
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+1
User avatar #19 to #17 - nickelakon (10/11/2015) [-]
Jim Gaffigan: food, paleness
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0
#37 to #19 - jdizzleoffthehizzl (10/11/2015) [-]
Carlos Mencia: Writing down everyone else's bits
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+1
User avatar #57 to #37 - nickelakon (10/11/2015) [-]
Dane Cook: yell and make stupid noises hoping the audience will laugh.
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0
User avatar #18 to #17 - dagold (10/11/2015) [-]
**** , forgot my own people.
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+1
User avatar #45 to #13 - frutus ONLINE (10/11/2015) [-]
Asian: My mother has such a funny accent oh my god you should hear her *proceed to make asian mother voice*
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+9
#43 - tarabostes ONLINE (10/11/2015) [-]
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+1
#64 to #43 - anon (10/12/2015) [-]
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+25
#41 - cheastnut (10/11/2015) [-]
quote admin instead
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+7
#34 - anon (10/11/2015) [-]
I've had the opportunity to meet this chick, pretty funny and hey, she works for Blizzard too!
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+2
User avatar #42 to #38 - tarabostes ONLINE (10/11/2015) [-]
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+3
User avatar #39 - luluwho (10/11/2015) [-]
She was mentally ill from the perpetual abuse she suffered from her "mommy dearest" mother her entire life.
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+2
User avatar #55 - sphincterface (10/11/2015) [-]
She ****** a married man, did drugs, and was kinda known to sleep around with just about anybody. Not much of a role model.
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-1
User avatar #59 - instalation (10/11/2015) [-]
Hitler committed suicide. (Or for you conspiracy theorists, we don't know.) Is she saying we shouldn't take advice from him either? The man had some good points.
 
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