This is going to make you upset
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A Client to an Internet pro-
vader phones in for help
Provider: "How can I help you
today, ma' arn?"
Client: "Is femail internet"?
Provider: "I beg your pardon?"
Client: "ls femail on the internet? I
have no internet, can I still read
Provider: "Well yes, you must be
able to get online to view your
Client: "Oh, dear. I can' t see my
Provider: "Well, let' s see. Gan
you open up Internet Explorer for
me and tell me what you see?"
Client: "Open what?"
Provider: "Your browser, can you
open up your browser?"
Provider: "What you click on
when you want to browse the in-
Client: "I don' t use anything, I just
turn my computer on, and it' s
Provider: "Okay. Do you see the
little blue 'e' icon on your desk-
Client: "You mean I have to start
writing letters again?"
Client: "l don' t have any pens at
my desk. I just want my femail
Provider: "No, ma' am, your desk-
top, on your computer screen.
Can you click on the little blue 'e'
on your computer screen for me?"
Client: "Oh, this is too much work.
I' m too upset. Just send me my
femail. Can' t you send me my
Can you tell me what color the
lights are on your router right
Client: "My what?"
Provider: "The little box with
green or possibly a couple of red
lights on it right now - it' s most
likely near your computer?"
Client: "Lights and boxes, boxes
and lights, just get my femail for
Provider: "My test is showing that
you should be able to get online
right now. Gan you tell me what
you’ re seeing on your computer
Client: ''' s been the same thing
for the last two hours."
Provider: "An error message?"
Client: "No, just stars. It' s black
and moving stars."
Provider: "...Do you see your
mouse next to your keyboard?"
Provider: "Move it for me."
Client: "Move it?"
Provider: "Yes. Move it."
Client: "My femail! ''