The Scorpions
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#7
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mendelevium [OP]ONLINE (12/11/2015) [+] (28 replies)
stickied by mendelevium
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#2
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rothingham (12/11/2015) [-] These are amazing. You're really good at the thing you do with your mouth talking .
#3 to #2
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mendelevium [OP]ONLINE (12/11/2015) [-] You should see what I can do with my asshole create videos
#4
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dashgamer (12/11/2015) [-] When I was deployed to Afghaniland I was itching for spicy **** . I'd take the little tobasco sauce bottles from the MREs and gulp it down by itself, I'd scavenge whatever hot sauce I could find from wherever I could find it.
As we arrived, the unit we were replacing stayed there with us for a week or two so that we'd be brought up to speed. They were sleeping in normal 30-man tents while half our platoon was crammed into a little 5-man tent. After they left, our guys began moving their **** into the big tents, but not me. I stayed and eventually had the 5-man tent all to myself. I had something like ten cots that I used as furniture in my tiny living room and there was a bookshelf full of ****** dime novels. I was all alone and it was pretty great.
After a few weeks, though, I noticed that there was this bottle of hot sauce that had been left on the bookshelf. I don't remember which brand it was, but it had been there before we arrived for God knows how long and it was a risk that I decided I was willing to take. Late that night I splattered half the bottle on a cheese tortellini MRE and ate through about half of the main meal before something started to feel wrong.
I went outside to go to the head and take a midnight **** , but when I got there nothing would come out. There were a lot of stomach pains as the liquid sludge of half digested cheese tortellini was squeezed through my intestinal tract. After a few minutes I gave up and went back to my tent, but the urge to **** was so bad that I went back to the head, thinking that the time had come to spew out of my asshole all the eldritch horrors of the nether world, but once again was fooled by a false alarm.
Then I went to rouse the doc, but he was a lazy piece of **** and refused to wake up. On my way back from that excursion, I collapsed. It felt like there was a dagger in my stomach and I couldn't move without that dagger slicing my abdomen up and down like a shamed samurai committing sudoku. I lay there on the gravel outside in a fob occupying some random patch of Afghan desert, unable to move and in extreme pain, not because I'd been shot or stabbed or blown up, but because I ate some nasty ass old hot sauce right after summer had ended and got food poisoning.
The pain subsided later in the day, but I was taken off duty when they found me in the morning. That's my story, I guess.
As we arrived, the unit we were replacing stayed there with us for a week or two so that we'd be brought up to speed. They were sleeping in normal 30-man tents while half our platoon was crammed into a little 5-man tent. After they left, our guys began moving their **** into the big tents, but not me. I stayed and eventually had the 5-man tent all to myself. I had something like ten cots that I used as furniture in my tiny living room and there was a bookshelf full of ****** dime novels. I was all alone and it was pretty great.
After a few weeks, though, I noticed that there was this bottle of hot sauce that had been left on the bookshelf. I don't remember which brand it was, but it had been there before we arrived for God knows how long and it was a risk that I decided I was willing to take. Late that night I splattered half the bottle on a cheese tortellini MRE and ate through about half of the main meal before something started to feel wrong.
I went outside to go to the head and take a midnight **** , but when I got there nothing would come out. There were a lot of stomach pains as the liquid sludge of half digested cheese tortellini was squeezed through my intestinal tract. After a few minutes I gave up and went back to my tent, but the urge to **** was so bad that I went back to the head, thinking that the time had come to spew out of my asshole all the eldritch horrors of the nether world, but once again was fooled by a false alarm.
Then I went to rouse the doc, but he was a lazy piece of **** and refused to wake up. On my way back from that excursion, I collapsed. It felt like there was a dagger in my stomach and I couldn't move without that dagger slicing my abdomen up and down like a shamed samurai committing sudoku. I lay there on the gravel outside in a fob occupying some random patch of Afghan desert, unable to move and in extreme pain, not because I'd been shot or stabbed or blown up, but because I ate some nasty ass old hot sauce right after summer had ended and got food poisoning.
The pain subsided later in the day, but I was taken off duty when they found me in the morning. That's my story, I guess.
#1
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mendelevium [OP]ONLINE (12/11/2015) [-] QuestionMarks cannibeasty panzerfront nighthawxx revolvingocelot itsdasp ilovepawgs spoonerisms hurati lollypopalopicus scarredwolf hexproof notfapping mutterpollo
serlucane ewood avyon stilch killorpie uleaveinpieces itsbeowulftime slywing legnak gramernazi woofman peterquill maxismahname pandemicwave metacobalion squail
orangutans garlikk daringdestiny deslider nyiagh mikasuh bewailedbadger KoreKiller dashgamer joeythekid ************* yoyoyowyatt theintercourser foamytesquirrel bewailedbadger shumdek thenoahgoesree fabiform boneknight tsnkami knyght amaskedman
turdparty postwhatevs baconsmylife bloodharbringer xitsukalong bombswillrain raygeadr yourfutureson Ragnar xeluz leprachaun slyve nocakeforthetroll dragontamers kikisu randomwanker avyon orionthegreat thenewgizmobox lexivex darkforces highkingtorygg burpateer
serlucane ewood avyon stilch killorpie uleaveinpieces itsbeowulftime slywing legnak gramernazi woofman peterquill maxismahname pandemicwave metacobalion squail
orangutans garlikk daringdestiny deslider nyiagh mikasuh bewailedbadger KoreKiller dashgamer joeythekid ************* yoyoyowyatt theintercourser foamytesquirrel bewailedbadger shumdek thenoahgoesree fabiform boneknight tsnkami knyght amaskedman
turdparty postwhatevs baconsmylife bloodharbringer xitsukalong bombswillrain raygeadr yourfutureson Ragnar xeluz leprachaun slyve nocakeforthetroll dragontamers kikisu randomwanker avyon orionthegreat thenewgizmobox lexivex darkforces highkingtorygg burpateer
#46
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molzy (12/12/2015) [-] You're really good to listen to and whatnot but if you plan on growing much bigger you need to consider your channel name. The HD isn't really necessary anymore (never really was but oh well). See what you can do to make your name a little shorter too, Paragon is a good name, but the 'gaming' and 'HD' don't really stick. I think you have potential to grow and you earned yourself an active subscriber.
On a side note I've done graphics works for a bunch of different gaming channels so if you need any design stuff done for free I'll be happy to help. Skype: mrmolzy
On a side note I've done graphics works for a bunch of different gaming channels so if you need any design stuff done for free I'll be happy to help. Skype: mrmolzy
#48 to #46
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mendelevium [OP]ONLINE (12/12/2015) [-] Same I feel you, maybe one day I will be THE Paragon, but even then there is still Frankieonpcin1080p who is pretty popular and has an odd name. I'd like to be just paragon but I'd be impossible to find.
#49 to #48
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molzy (12/12/2015) [-] Yeah that's a good point, I do think Frankieonpcin1080p has such on odd name that it makes him unique and somewhat easy to remember. Your name is your desired name with irrelevant stuff around it, which is a bit different. Also even by searching phrases such as 'paragon gaming' and 'paragon gaming hd' doesn't show your channel so you should consider adding some channel tags, found in the Advanced Settings in your profile settings.
#30
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dickchupacabra (12/12/2015) [-] Damn man, I don't know what exactly it is about it, but I find your voice super soothing.
I'm just here listening to you tell us a random story about peppers and I'm fighting to keep from nodding off into a comfortable daze.
Also, mildly interesting story. 8/10, would listen again.
I'm just here listening to you tell us a random story about peppers and I'm fighting to keep from nodding off into a comfortable daze.
Also, mildly interesting story. 8/10, would listen again.
#61 to #30
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manofparody (12/12/2015) [-] He adds bass to his voice in the settings. A lot of streamers/youtubers do it to attract more viewers, and make their voice sound more attractive.
#10 to #9
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mendelevium [OP]ONLINE (12/11/2015) [-] Thanks fam.
it's kinda weird, you never really consider yourself interesting enough to have over 500 people voluntarily watch you do your average day of things. But definitely appreciate all your guy's support.
it's kinda weird, you never really consider yourself interesting enough to have over 500 people voluntarily watch you do your average day of things. But definitely appreciate all your guy's support.
#70
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SirMartin (12/12/2015) [-] **** the story. Look at that surfing skills. I remember doing it in CSS
#58
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goobyman (12/12/2015) [-] I don't get surfing
it says i'm supposed to strafe left or right, depending on which side of the ramp i'm on, but i ALWAYS ******* slide off.
and i need a good server, because the singleplayer ones don't work.
HALP
it says i'm supposed to strafe left or right, depending on which side of the ramp i'm on, but i ALWAYS ******* slide off.
and i need a good server, because the singleplayer ones don't work.
HALP
#34
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amelianias ONLINE (12/12/2015) [-] This is so weird. My freshman year of highschool one of my older brother's friends brought dried ghost peppers to school and he gave me one to try. I was fine until the end of lunch when I suddenly had a really bad reaction to the pepper and my mouth started swelling. I never told the discipline officers who gave me the peppers but I found out later that 6 or more other people got sent to the nurses office for it too. The guy got pulled into the discipline office for giving out dried ghost peppers to people.
