The laziest thing you've ever done
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CI Tupperware 4040 points 12 hours ago
we Late to the party but this one is too good to pass up:
I was once on a US military ship, having breakfast in the wardroom (officers lounge) when the Operations Officer
OPS) walks in. This guy was the definition of NOT a morning person; he' s still half asleep, bleary eyed... basically a
zombie with a bagel. He sits down across from me to eat his bagel and is just barely conscious. My back is to the
outboard side of the ship, and the morning sun is blazing in one of the portholes putting a big brightness circle of
light right on his barely conscious face. He' s squinting and chewing and basically just remembering how to be alive
for today. It' s painful to watch.
But then stops chewing, slowly picks up the phone, and dials the bridge. In his I' mistily-
voice, he says "heebee. It' s OPS. Could you... shift our barrat... yeah, one six five. Thanks." And puts
the phone down. And then he just sits there. Squinting. Waiting.
And then, aver so slowly, I realize that that big blazing spot of sun has begun to slide off the zombie' s face and onto
the wall behind him. After a moment it clears his face and he blinks slowly a few times and the brilliant beauty of
what Tye just witnessed begins to me. By ordering the bridge to adjust the ship' s patrol
by about 15 degrees, he' s changed our course just enough to reposition the sun off of his face. He' s literally just
redirected thousands of tons of steel and hundreds of people so that he could get the sun out of his eyes while he
eats his bagel. I am in awe.
He slowly picks up his bagel and for a moment I' m terrified at the thought that his own genius may escape him, that
he may nearer appreciate the epic brilliance of his laziness (since he' s not going to wake up for another hour). But
between his next bites he pauses, looks at me, and gives me the faintest, sly grin, before returning to gnaw slowly
on his zombie bagel.
CI 2438 points 12 hours ago
we I think this is one of the greatest things I have aver read.