The filter. . you' re through to Sky broadband. My name is Susan. how may I help? Uhh, yeah, hi , , I' m calling because the new filtering system is interfering Porno
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The filter

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you' re through to Sky broadband. My name is Susan. how may I help?
Uhh, yeah, hi , , I' m calling because the new filtering system is interfering with my browsing habits and like to ask if it could be removed
please?
mean the porno filter. sir?
Yes
want to watch porn- sir?
K sir I just need to ask you a few questions then
Okay-
is your date of birth?
manytimes a day will you be accessing pornography?
Oh uhh I like once_____; no wait, about eight or nine. uhh,
trll put you down for our dozen deal then sir. 15. 99 a month for 12 porn accesses per day. or ifyou want you can have the half dozen deal for only 4. 99 a month
What? I have to fucking pay? me_ the_ the dozen deal please
dozen deal? Wow___ of course then sir. Next question. what types of porn will you be watching?
What? Like_ what videos? Do you have to know?
sir. so we can provide you with a personalised video unlocking service
Oh_ well I' m into uhh____ stuff Iike___ uhh, you know, anal, titfucking, uhh_ uhh_ scat and piss and stuff, and____ Iike, dressing up and things,
you sir
Is there anything else?
more thing sir. As part of our obligations to the government we will be monitoring your porn access times live to ensure you do not access anything illegal.
Thank you _
...
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Views: 14497 Submitted: 08/18/2014
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[ 36 comments ]
> hey anon, wanna give your opinion?
asd
#1 - biscuitsunited
Reply +29 123456789123345869
(08/18/2014) [-]
User avatar #4 to #1 - reginleif
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(08/18/2014) [-]
Hey English dude...... is this really how the porn filter works over there? ;/

I thought you guys just had to request porn.

User avatar #5 to #4 - cuntism
Reply +7 123456789123345869
(08/18/2014) [-]
Hahaha it's not that far off actually. Soon porn will be filtered by standard and you need to request it to be taken off. Not sure if it needs to be over the phone (and obviously the charging bit is false..however the illegal porn bit isn't...they really do clamp down on illegal porn here).

We have a law called Offensive Porn Act or something along those lines, and it's SUPER vague. One guy recently got arrested for writing a story in which he wrote about raping Girls Aloud (a ****** UK girl band).

Also, the filters can be bypassed with a proxy, and I think there is a chrome plugin that bypasses em too.

TLR Porn filters are on by default, they don't charge for it, illegal porn is a big deal.
User avatar #17 to #5 - AnonymousGuru
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(08/19/2014) [-]
Apparently something like 90% of people say no to the filter anyway though.
User avatar #18 to #17 - cuntism
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(08/19/2014) [-]
It's going to be mandatory soon
User avatar #20 to #18 - AnonymousGuru
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(08/19/2014) [-]
Bollocks it is. Link some source or something.
User avatar #21 to #20 - cuntism
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(08/19/2014) [-]
User avatar #22 to #21 - AnonymousGuru
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(08/19/2014) [-]
Yeah, that's not mandatory. People get the option to when they join now to put the child filters on or off. That's an opt-out sytem.
User avatar #23 to #22 - cuntism
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(08/19/2014) [-]
Yeah it's an opt-out system, it will be on by default, and you say you want it off...I never said anything different, I don't get your argument
User avatar #25 to #23 - AnonymousGuru
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(08/19/2014) [-]
Mandatory is different from opt-out. Mandatory would mean you have to have the filter, but you get a choice so it's not
User avatar #26 to #25 - cuntism
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(08/19/2014) [-]
Fair point, my bad for using misleading language. Ha well this whole thing got a bit side tracked.

I just wish I worked at customer services so I could take the calls of all the 12 year old kids trying to blag that they're their ma and pa
User avatar #24 to #23 - cuntism
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(08/19/2014) [-]
Oops missed the bit where you said people are asked. I think at the mo they are asked on join up yes, but soon it will be just on and you need to say you want em off.

In any case not a big deal
User avatar #13 to #5 - neokun
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(08/19/2014) [-]
Wait what the **** did that **** actually happen down there? I live in Scotland and I'll be damned if some pish posh sack of dick politicians stop me from cleaning out my pipes.

User avatar #19 to #13 - cuntism
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(08/19/2014) [-]
Even if you vote yes for independence you'll still end up with it as the ISPs are english. It's mostly BT and Sky, but Talktalk and some others are doing it too
User avatar #36 to #19 - neokun
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(08/19/2014) [-]
Not when I have my glorious TOR.
User avatar #8 to #5 - reginleif
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(08/18/2014) [-]
No but I mean the porn limit and payment. That sounds ridiculous and probably false.
User avatar #9 to #8 - cuntism
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(08/18/2014) [-]
Yep, those bits are false. It's impossible to charge people, as an ISP, for certain content (that is while net neutrality exists)
#12 - mattdoggy
Reply +23 123456789123345869
(08/19/2014) [-]
I would continually sign up and then delete my account with them so i could answer and tell them the most inhuman acts possible
>amputee midget fart snuff films
>catholic choke bestiality zero g interacial
>albino scat van hidden cams
>deaf man rapes chair while dolphin feeds cereal to a purple cat in the corner blindfolded

i want my operator to have a hard time continuing the conversation. If they don't go home shaken up by what i've done to them, then i have failed. Eventually i will make my porn really obscure so they have to guess and dream about why i'm getting pleasure from it

>man in rollerskates bathes in icecream while watching fish swim under a strobe light
>man salutes while yelling "Heil Hitler" for 12 hours straight chest deep in pudding while children swim to him to put stickers on his shoulders
>Catholic priests screams "forks and spoons" at a crow that's in a closet while trying to juggle cotton balls

I am their fear. I am their bane. Every time they go near something that runs off electricity they will think of my name and shudder
#27 to #12 - anon id: d0f57287
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(08/19/2014) [-]
i'm ******* crying that was hilarious
#28 to #12 - anon id: 924749c8
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(08/19/2014) [-]
Y-You.. Seek mental help.
#35 to #12 - anon id: d8cca143
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(08/19/2014) [-]
Can we have more "obscure" examples, please?

I need more porn ideas.
User avatar #15 to #12 - warlordstuart
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(08/19/2014) [-]
i actually lol'd. nice
User avatar #30 to #12 - WillWalrus
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(08/19/2014) [-]
User avatar #10 - galkawhm
Reply +12 123456789123345869
(08/18/2014) [-]
Turn on hardcore furry scat porn.
Shut off monitor and laugh that a government agent is being forced to watch it.
#11 to #10 - anon id: c006ef65
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(08/18/2014) [-]
then get arrest for access to illegal content it really vague
User avatar #14 to #11 - killerliquid
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(08/19/2014) [-]
hardcore, furry, and scat are all legal
#29 - vparrish
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(08/19/2014) [-]
I love how he jumps from once a day to 8 or 9 within the same sentence.
User avatar #6 - thenightmarechild
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(08/18/2014) [-]
Sooo, there's a partial ban on some porn? Wow. Have fun with your increased rape and sexual assaults.
User avatar #32 to #6 - ipaintmyfloor
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(08/19/2014) [-]
"Some porn" means all porn that is currently illegal now; such as CP, bestiality, necrophilia, etc.
User avatar #31 - fourchinsbrah
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(08/19/2014) [-]
inb4 the britbong edition of this
#16 - anon id: 1dc6f50e
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(08/19/2014) [-]
>VPN to US.
>Enjoy freedoms.
>Arrested by NSA for being filthy foreign porn-terrorist from porn-Hitler's UK.
#7 - anon id: 8c1613f2
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(08/18/2014) [-]
lol britbongistan
#3 - hazelnutqt
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(08/18/2014) [-]
User avatar #2 - nimba
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(08/18/2014) [-]
happening in the uk
[ 36 comments ]
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