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The Most Offensive Joke I Know

Tags: jokes
+15
Views: 2615
Favorited: 3
Submitted: 12/10/2013
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User avatar #11 - splendiddust (12/10/2013) [+] (2 replies)
a Jew with a 3 ft erection walks into a wall


He hit his nose
#14 to #11 - jazzpherr (12/10/2013) [-]
why does jews have so big noses?
because air is free
User avatar #6 - thefloppinater (12/10/2013) [+] (1 reply)
A man gets a call that his wife is giving birth.
He races to the hospital, and waits eagerly in the waiting room. Eventually the doctor comes out with an odd look on his face.
"What's wrong doctor? Is my baby ok? Is it a boy or a girl?"
The doctor looks up at him. "It's the damndest thing. Your baby is a miracle, sir," he says.
The doctor leads the man into a room, where the baby is laying soundly, cuddled up in a blanket.
"Your baby can float. It's amazing! Watch!" The doctor lifts the child up a couple inches from the bed, then drops it. Nothing happens.
"What are you doing?" says the man. "Let me get my child and leave!"
"No, no, no! You have to see this. It did it before!" He picks up the child again, but this time drops it onto the floor. The baby hits the ground with a solid thud.
Totally distraught, with tears in his eyes, the man pleads for the doctor to stop.
"No, no, no! He totally did it! You HAVE to see this. It's a miracle!" The doctor picks the child up off the ground, and throws it out the window. The baby falls several stories and explodes on a car!
"OH MY GOD! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!?" screams the man.
"Don't worry about it. The baby was a still-born. Haha! You should have seen the look on your face!"
#7 to #6 - kevinrox (12/10/2013) [-]
MFW the punchline
MFW the punchline
User avatar #21 - crackmaster (12/11/2013) [-]
Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? pizza doesnt scream when you throw it in an oven

whats the differnce between a black guy and a pizza? pizza can feed a family of 4

whats the difference between a dead baby and a pizza? i dont get a boner when i eat pizza
User avatar #10 - twentypercent **User deleted account** (12/10/2013) [+] (1 reply)
What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari?

I don't have 100 Ferraris in my garage.
#13 to #10 - turbanmasher (12/10/2013) [-]
Whats worse than 1 dead baby in a trash can?

10 dead babies in a trash can.
Whats worse than 10 dead babies in a trash can?

1 dead baby in 10 trash cans.
#1 - anonymous (12/10/2013) [+] (1 reply)
**anonymous rolled a random comment #170572 posted by seniorawesomesauce at Friendly ** :
1590 was over 500 years ago
User avatar #26 - ultralinkfan (12/14/2013) [-]
how do you make a gay man have sex with a woman? shit in her cunt
User avatar #25 - drastronomy (12/11/2013) [-]
whats the difference between a baby and an oven

i do not stick my dick in an oven



Whats the difference between a baby and an onion?

I cry when i chop up an onion
#22 - hjghjgjhgjhhjghjg (12/11/2013) [+] (2 replies)
How do you know your sister is on her period?
you taste blood on your dad's dick
User avatar #17 - alanflindt (12/10/2013) [+] (1 reply)
What's 1 foot long, purple, and makes women scream?


Crib death.
0
#16 - alanflindt has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #15 - jacodpwns (12/10/2013) [-]
whats the difference between a nigger and a broken computer?

a nigger can run
User avatar #9 - davidispissed (12/10/2013) [-]
There once was a man from Nantucket
whose cock was so long he could suck it.
He said with a grin,
wiping sperm from his chin,
"If my ear were a cunt I would fuck it."
User avatar #8 - demotiveman (12/10/2013) [-]
So how do you fit 45 men into a car?

You put the 40 Jews into an ashtray and leave the superior race the seats!
I am not a proud Jew...
User avatar #5 - Agnotizer (12/10/2013) [-]
Why do black people only have nightmares-
because the last one to have a dream was shot.
User avatar #4 - halotalim (12/10/2013) [-]
What do you get when you cross 100 screaming babies in a dumpster on fire with the Holocaust?

I don't know, but its still not as bad as kevinrox.
#3 - skinjacker ONLINE (12/10/2013) [+] (2 replies)
A Jew walks into a bar.
Just kidding, it was a gas chamber.
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