That Evil Man. Not mine.. y. a I SEMI THE ITEMS HIST A an . FASTER In FREAK on THE Iggy!. >Eating burger at McDick's >Only one in the place, so talking with a couple employees about stuff >Goliath child with titan mother riding on the monoli That Evil Man Not mine y a I SEMI THE ITEMS HIST A an FASTER In FREAK on Iggy! >Eating burger at McDick's >Only one in the place so talking with couple employees about stuff >Goliath child titan mother riding monoli
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> hey anon, wanna give your opinion?
asd
#3 - yuukoku
Reply +310 123456789123345869
(03/02/2014) [-]
>Eating burger at McDick's   
>Only one in the place, so talking with a couple employees about stuff   
>Goliath child with titan mother riding on the monolith slowly rove through door   
>Spherical boy is jumping up and down as far as his stubby rolls can take him   
>Guy employee gets into the kitchen while girl employee seems to be bracing for impact   
>Apparently they have some kind of drill down for these specific people   
>Watch Jabba the Hutt howl "GET US THE USUAL!"   
>******* Helios won't stop jumping up and down yelling about apple pie and knocks over the cookie stand   
>Girl employee glances at me as I watch with horrified interest like she's trying to tell me to run   
>Sphere Team retreats to the corner to glare at me for some reason while spontaneously yelling something about pickles   
>When they get their meal, the monolith flips **** and starts screaming at girl employee about how they put pickles in on purpose   
>Manager comes out to diffuse situation, but it has only just begun   
>I know they can't do anything, so I do what any logical human being would do: I take my pickles from my burger and plop them on Helios' sweet head   
>He ******* loses it and attacks me   
>Just keeps swinging and missing. Decide to lead him out of the store   
>Manager is at first freaked out, but then realizes what I'm doing   
>Lead the screaming monolith and her Goliath down the road   
>Kinda hear "Thank you!" from guy employee and cheering from girl employee   
>MFW I lead them about fifty yards before they get tired and the monolith's howling gives out   
   
Don't know why this reminded me of this...
>Eating burger at McDick's
>Only one in the place, so talking with a couple employees about stuff
>Goliath child with titan mother riding on the monolith slowly rove through door
>Spherical boy is jumping up and down as far as his stubby rolls can take him
>Guy employee gets into the kitchen while girl employee seems to be bracing for impact
>Apparently they have some kind of drill down for these specific people
>Watch Jabba the Hutt howl "GET US THE USUAL!"
>******* Helios won't stop jumping up and down yelling about apple pie and knocks over the cookie stand
>Girl employee glances at me as I watch with horrified interest like she's trying to tell me to run
>Sphere Team retreats to the corner to glare at me for some reason while spontaneously yelling something about pickles
>When they get their meal, the monolith flips **** and starts screaming at girl employee about how they put pickles in on purpose
>Manager comes out to diffuse situation, but it has only just begun
>I know they can't do anything, so I do what any logical human being would do: I take my pickles from my burger and plop them on Helios' sweet head
>He ******* loses it and attacks me
>Just keeps swinging and missing. Decide to lead him out of the store
>Manager is at first freaked out, but then realizes what I'm doing
>Lead the screaming monolith and her Goliath down the road
>Kinda hear "Thank you!" from guy employee and cheering from girl employee
>MFW I lead them about fifty yards before they get tired and the monolith's howling gives out

Don't know why this reminded me of this...
User avatar #84 to #3 - timmity
Reply -2 123456789123345869
(03/03/2014) [-]
greentext, automatic thumb down for worst possible presentation of otherwise enjoyable stories.
User avatar #87 to #84 - yuukoku
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(03/03/2014) [-]
I think it's a less-strenuous way of conveying a story. Nobody really reads it when you just write a wall of text. Imagine climbing a flat wall as opposed to climbing a ladder.
User avatar #90 to #87 - timmity
Reply -2 123456789123345869
(03/03/2014) [-]
also, I'd rather climb a smoothe, grammarcly correct stair with descriptions than a rickety ladder with "lol.jpg" as if we're meant to know what that ******* looks like. If it was, idk, well grammared, had descriptions and was a little lesws connected, it would be fine, oh wait, ******* PARAGRAPHS
User avatar #91 to #90 - yuukoku
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(03/03/2014) [-]
Alright... well, you have fun telling that to 200+ people who don't agree with you. I'm just going to be telling my stories via greentext from now on.
User avatar #99 to #91 - timmity
Reply -2 123456789123345869
(03/03/2014) [-]
Still ****, try handing a greentext into a literacy competition, or short story competition, your teacher or proff.. It's just notb a very good medium of story telling.
User avatar #88 to #87 - timmity
Reply -2 123456789123345869
(03/03/2014) [-]
******* paragraphs were made for a reason.
User avatar #89 to #88 - yuukoku
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/03/2014) [-]
Yeah, people still aren't going to read it. Look, I understand how to write long stories coherently, so don't get the wrong idea. What I'm trying to do is reach out to the users by explaining it through greentext stories.

Just take a deep breath and realize that short internet stories are better conveyed through greentext.
User avatar #92 to #89 - timmity
Reply -1 123456789123345869
(03/03/2014) [-]
But they're still not, just make short, coherent paragraphs, its more welcomming and less sharp, I think some of my hatred of greentext is people who like and use it, the people who like it like it because it's so simple, and i understand simplicity is good, but not in a story! Stories are MEANT to be descriptive.
User avatar #101 to #92 - yuukoku
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(03/03/2014) [-]
The air was stale and the employees were getting groggy. I was slowly gnawing at a greasy burger at the local McDonald's when I decided to look around. Eight thirty at night and the place was desolate; not a soul to talk to other than the girl spacing out over at the counter. The guy in the back took an order at the drive-thru every few minutes, but other than that it was quiet.
Suddenly, the doors bashed open and a little ball of fluff and cholesterol burst through the door screaming "Mama! I wanna get sam pai! I wanna get sum pai!"
The mother, or what I assumed was a female human being, slowly transcended through the portal to the frozen hell outside and into my little greasy world on what I could only see as the monolith. She was melting out of her shirt and sweat permeated through her pink shirt. Must've taken the strength of seven horses to get her out of the car.
The guy ducks behind something in the kitchen and the girl at the counter braces for impact. Looked to me like they were well acquainted with Helios and his chariot. The mother barks out "get us the usual!" in the most coarse tone you could imagine as her spawn knocks over the cookie stand and then the two of them retreat to the back corner to look at me with their big, beady eyes. Must've been some animal instinct; not used to seeing foreigners in their territory, I assume.
The monolith howls about pickles every now and then, and when their food comes up, Helios and his chariot start flipping out like enraged orangutans about pickles. They throw out accusations and threats at the manager and the girl until I decide to intervene by placing my leftover pickles on Helios' head. He comes out swinging and I just lead him and the chariot out of the restaurant. In the distance, I can hear the cheers of the employees ad they relax. I just keep dodging his ham-handed swings until he goes down from exhaustion and the mothership comes to beam him back up into their sedan.

You happy, now?
User avatar #103 to #101 - timmity
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(03/03/2014) [-]
Amazing, and so funny, descriptive and entertaining, thumbed up and faved, btw.
User avatar #104 to #103 - yuukoku
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(03/03/2014) [-]
It's always a pleasure.
#98 to #92 - anon id: 65edb444
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/03/2014) [-]
Thats not necessarily true, and green texts are quite descriptive when made correctly, they function as bullets only telling of the key points of the story…. They are in general just a faster way of reading a story. In which you can avoid the dialogue.

From how much you are freaking out of said hatred it leads me to believe that the real reason you hate green text stories is because they are too popular.
User avatar #100 to #98 - timmity
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/03/2014) [-]
I don't mind popular things at all. And yes, if done CORRECTLY, greentexts are great at story telling, but thats like saying dictatorship is great when done correctly, which it is, but generally it's going to be ****.
User avatar #29 to #3 - sladee
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/03/2014) [-]
The gif makes this **** perfect.
#30 to #3 - thefiddler
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/03/2014) [-]
We need more people like you
User avatar #46 to #30 - yuukoku
Reply +15 123456789123345869
(03/03/2014) [-]
I have a lot more McDick's stories. There's one about some crazy girl who wanted to hang out and I ******* ran from (best decision ever) , then there's one about these junkies who hid in the McDick's Pleasure Room Funhouse smoking weed and screaming (weed is technically a hallucinogen, but they were probably on more than just weed; it doesn't make you freak out like that) , then there was the time five middle schoolers challenged me to a fight and it ended in me having to beat one of their asses on the ground to put out the fire (literally, he set himself on fire and the others flipped ****; it's a good story) .

I'm thinking of making content for it, but I don't know if people will find it interesting or new...
#50 to #46 - deathtobreakfast
Reply +9 123456789123345869
(03/03/2014) [-]
#57 to #46 - ztron
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(03/03/2014) [-]
Those stories sound awesome, do it man.
Those stories sound awesome, do it man.
User avatar #125 to #46 - yuukoku
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/03/2014) [-]
Here's the content if anyone's interested...
www.funnyjunk.com/McDick+s+Tales/funny-pictures/5041327/
#71 to #46 - seizure
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/03/2014) [-]
You didn't know if we'd find them interesting!? We live for this ****...
#72 to #71 - yuukoku
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(03/03/2014) [-]
Alright, alright! I'll get working on some content! I'll mention the guys who egged me on to do it so you guys get first looksees. I've also got a few more stories up my sleeve, but I'll save those for if my McDick's stories get popular.
User avatar #62 to #46 - kanadetenshi
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/03/2014) [-]
Jesus Christ what kind of Mcdonalds do you go to.
User avatar #65 to #62 - yuukoku
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/03/2014) [-]
An interesting one...
#55 to #46 - bloodharbringer
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/03/2014) [-]
Go do it darling-chan. We're all behind you.
#59 to #55 - yuukoku
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/03/2014) [-]
So... I'll start making the content...
So... I'll start making the content...
User avatar #73 to #59 - imofcnotharveydent
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/03/2014) [-]
wait, is that gif real?
#74 to #73 - yuukoku
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/03/2014) [-]
Yep. It's from ********
User avatar #94 to #74 - imofcnotharveydent
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/03/2014) [-]
do I dare ask if that's her sister?
#120 to #94 - stanleys
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/03/2014) [-]
It is. And I probably don't need to say whose underwear that is.
User avatar #124 to #120 - imofcnotharveydent
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/03/2014) [-]
yeah already knew that, totally should put it on my list
#61 to #3 - anon id: a2dbb15a
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/03/2014) [-]
When I read that you led a fat kid to the middle of the road, I expected a darker, funnier ending.
When I read that you led a fat kid to the middle of the road, I expected a darker, funnier ending.
#126 to #3 - gorillaztwentyfour
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(03/03/2014) [-]
this is one of my favorite stories to picture - ever.
User avatar #127 to #126 - yuukoku
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/03/2014) [-]
To be honest, I didn't think you guys would get a kick out of it at all. I guess it sounds funnier than it actually was.
#45 to #3 - newdevyx
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(03/03/2014) [-]
Comment Picture
User avatar #122 to #3 - jefferyboomhauer
Reply +5 123456789123345869
(03/03/2014) [-]
I like this story, i really do, but it just fake at the ending.

Maybe you did put your pickles on that child's sweet head, but i dont think you did.
#123 to #122 - yuukoku
Reply +8 123456789123345869
(03/03/2014) [-]
B-but... but I did....
B-but... but I did....
#60 to #3 - dancingturnip
Reply +16 123456789123345869
(03/03/2014) [-]
I can't stop imagining them looking like this
#64 to #60 - yuukoku
Reply +5 123456789123345869
(03/03/2014) [-]
Try to picture something that's inbetween a liquid and a solid...
#66 to #64 - dancingturnip
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(03/03/2014) [-]
So like oobleck?
User avatar #82 to #64 - Mortuus
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/03/2014) [-]
So, a non-Newtonian fluid?
User avatar #85 to #82 - yuukoku
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(03/03/2014) [-]
Yeah, like water and cornstarch or whatever.
User avatar #86 to #85 - Mortuus
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/03/2014) [-]
I'm having flashbacks to high school chemistry class. Good memories...
#40 to #3 - jaked
Reply +23 123456789123345869
(03/03/2014) [-]
Man, you're a massive asshole in the best possible way. Stay golden Ponyboy.
#115 to #40 - yuukoku
Reply +9 123456789123345869
(03/03/2014) [-]
Love you, man...
#4 to #3 - stegosaurusrah
Reply +31 123456789123345869
(03/02/2014) [-]
I enjoyed that
I enjoyed that
User avatar #5 to #4 - yuukoku
Reply +6 123456789123345869
(03/02/2014) [-]
Thank you. So did I. Just couldn't bring myself to hit the little ******.
#22 to #3 - nikolaier
Reply +62 123456789123345869
(03/03/2014) [-]
Comment Picture
User avatar #6 - asatru
Reply +27 123456789123345869
(03/02/2014) [-]
jokexplain
#7 to #6 - jokexplain
Reply +272 123456789123345869
(03/02/2014) [-]
when a parent and his child are in line at the checkout counter, the parent may suddenly remember that he has to get something else. he tells the kid 'you keep our place, I'll be right back'. the child is then terrified that their turn at the counter will come before the parent gets back, because he'll have to talk to the cashier and awkwardly explain that his parent has gone to get something else. here, OP works as a cashier and he's intentionally toying with the child's fears by scanning the items faster, so their turn will come sooner.
User avatar #13 to #7 - faktopus
Reply +43 123456789123345869
(03/03/2014) [-]
You're doing God's work, jokexplain.
User avatar #8 to #7 - asatru
Reply +9 123456789123345869
(03/02/2014) [-]
thank you
#132 to #7 - blitzblitz
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/03/2014) [-]
hey you actually responded!
User avatar #80 to #7 - pizzaweed
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/03/2014) [-]
He's back!



I'm proud of you
User avatar #47 to #7 - treska
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/03/2014) [-]
Wow! I thought that the parent left the kid in the house, and the kid would be masturbating while the parent was in the store. I thought that the cashier did his work faster just to let the parent come back home quickier, and that way catch the kid masturbating.

So, not even close.

Yeah... I know.... I'm ******* sick
#9 - binlagan
Reply +124 123456789123345869
(03/03/2014) [-]
Imagine being that child
#12 to #9 - I Am Monkey
Reply +20 123456789123345869
(03/03/2014) [-]
#58 to #12 - MasterMario
Reply +9 123456789123345869
(03/03/2014) [-]
#15 - gloriousthighs
Reply +90 123456789123345869
(03/03/2014) [-]
I'm 18 and and I still managed to get into this situation about a week ago.
I'm 18 and and I still managed to get into this situation about a week ago.
#119 to #15 - kingpongthedon
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/03/2014) [-]
Good for you, cashiering is a great first job but it can be tedious at times. You found a way to break the monotony of work while simultaneously reducing check-out times. It's a win-win.
User avatar #19 to #15 - technobanana
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(03/03/2014) [-]
Dude I am 20 and my mother did this lol
User avatar #68 to #19 - folkflunky
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/03/2014) [-]
I'm 24 and I get scared every time this happens when I go buy stuff with a friend.
#48 to #19 - asftrooper
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/03/2014) [-]
Same
User avatar #27 to #15 - myrtille
Reply +11 123456789123345869
(03/03/2014) [-]
that gif is absolutely terrifying.
#23 - masterboll
Reply +61 123456789123345869
(03/03/2014) [-]
thats the kind of **** that could traumatise the child for life
User avatar #24 to #23 - thegrayfox
Reply -1 123456789123345869
(03/03/2014) [-]
Wow... Sounds like the kid saw his mom get butchered.

Spineless people everywhere...
#95 to #24 - anon id: cba452c7
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/03/2014) [-]
its a joke it called exaggeration don't be that guy at party buzzkillington
#34 - ancientchaos
Reply +16 123456789123345869
(03/03/2014) [-]
Comment Picture
#36 to #34 - rebeller
0 123456789123345869
has deleted their comment [-]
#37 to #36 - ancientchaos
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(03/03/2014) [-]
Comment Picture
#38 to #37 - rebeller
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/03/2014) [-]
I love you
your blue name is beautiful
no homo
all the homo
#56 - DeadyKruger
Reply +8 123456789123345869
(03/03/2014) [-]
**DeadyKruger rolled a random image posted in comment #7920116 at Safe For Work Random Board ** kids face
**DeadyKruger rolled a random image posted in comment #7920116 at Safe For Work Random Board ** kids face
#63 to #56 - Lilstow
Reply +12 123456789123345869
(03/03/2014) [-]
#10 - soulkiller
Reply +10 123456789123345869
(03/03/2014) [-]
You're the best kind of asshole
#96 - felex
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(03/03/2014) [-]
Cleaners face when this is happening
Cleaners face when this is happening
User avatar #105 to #96 - allennis
Reply +7 123456789123345869
(03/03/2014) [-]
That's actually the cleaner's face when you jizz on the floor of your nearby supermarket.
#107 to #105 - felex
Reply +9 123456789123345869
(03/03/2014) [-]
#108 to #107 - allennis
Reply +4 123456789123345869
(03/03/2014) [-]
Comment Picture
#109 to #108 - felex
Reply +5 123456789123345869
(03/03/2014) [-]
Don't start
#110 to #109 - allennis
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/03/2014) [-]
#79 - fuckyosixtyminutes
Reply +7 123456789123345869
(03/03/2014) [-]
Vaguely related: I once at the grocery store heard the word "void" over the intercom.  I asked my dad what it meant.  He said "void" is what they call it when a customer is rude to the cashier, so the cashier presses a button that makes the floor open out from under them where they fall into a dark room and are kept there for the rest of the day.  He said cashiers are prone to voiding the wrong person sometimes and they'll still leave you down there all day even if it was a mistake and someone else was the rude one.   
   
I believed him for like three years until one day I brought it up and he told me it was just a joke.     
   
hfw he realized I had lived in fear of cashiers for three years.
Vaguely related: I once at the grocery store heard the word "void" over the intercom. I asked my dad what it meant. He said "void" is what they call it when a customer is rude to the cashier, so the cashier presses a button that makes the floor open out from under them where they fall into a dark room and are kept there for the rest of the day. He said cashiers are prone to voiding the wrong person sometimes and they'll still leave you down there all day even if it was a mistake and someone else was the rude one.

I believed him for like three years until one day I brought it up and he told me it was just a joke.

hfw he realized I had lived in fear of cashiers for three years.