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+317
User avatar #1 - grimfuck (09/21/2015) [-]
"great-grandfather"
"sixteen hundreds"
how old is this dude?
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+125
#2 to #1 - whiteusername (09/21/2015) [-]
Don't ask him, he knows nothing.
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+78
User avatar #7 to #1 - thekieran ONLINE (09/22/2015) [-]
Shorthand from saying "great-great-great" or whatever is to just say "great-Grandfather" And since he apparently only has one notable one, Kit knows exactly what he's talking about.
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+52
User avatar #3 to #1 - ohemgeezus ONLINE (09/22/2015) [-]
He was born in the 1560s and died in 1612 so that makes it even worse
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+3
#104 to #3 - hairybaboon (09/22/2015) [-]
Could have had a kid late in life, so let's say 1610. Kid lives to be 70 (high end then, but possible, could still probably have kids at 50. Assuming each generation follows by having a kid at 50 (male lineage so we need fewer generations), the birth dates follow as:

1560 - Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Grandfather
1610 - Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Grandfather
1660 - Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Grandfather
1710 - Great-Great-Great-Great-Grandfather
1760 - Great-Great-Great-Grandfather
1810 - Great-Great-Grandfather
1860 - Great-Grandfather
1910 - Gandfather
1960 - Father
2010 (assume this is Kit, since it's the earliest generation that could be him)

It could be as close as 9 generations ago. Definitely not 3 generations back.
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+1
User avatar #105 to #104 - ohemgeezus ONLINE (09/22/2015) [-]
That's possible, but have you considered the more likely possibility that they're all just vampires?
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+252
#8 - madvulcan ONLINE (09/22/2015) [-]
And this is how you use it.
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+6
User avatar #83 to #8 - shmochra (09/22/2015) [-]
Is this the episode where clydes mum dies because she was sucked into the toilet?
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+6
User avatar #88 to #83 - catsbats (09/22/2015) [-]
YES, "Reverse Cowgirl"
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+131
User avatar #21 - andywazowski (09/22/2015) [-]
Since we are all sharing our ancestor stories, here goes;'

- My great-great grandfather fought in a war, cant remember which one
- Got married at the mere age of 15 (guess this war normal back then)
- Had 3 kids in his life
- 2 of them died in childbirth so he only have one decsent
- This is where it gets interesting
- This would be my great grandad
- He lived a happy life, and died with a smile on his face, he died in a war at the age of 36
- I have now picked up the mantle and is heading for war
- Going to help Ulfric kill King Torygg
- My ancestors are smiling upon me imperials, can you say the same?
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#43 to #21 - argoniantits has deleted their comment [-]
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User avatar #84 to #21 - greyhoundfd (09/22/2015) [-]
>Great grandfather was an extremely successful lawyer.
>Owned a decent sized estate in Pennsylvania
>Got screwed by the banks and lost the estate, along with most of his money
>Grandfather worked his ass off and, in before he retired, managed international trade
>Even then, didn't have nearly as much as he could because of how hard a blow his father received.
>He and my grandmother drank a lot
>They both had affairs
>Would spank my mother, wash her mouth out with soap. Once he even knocked her across a room
>Mother went off to Swarthemore, then transferred to U Penn and got her degree in biology.
>Worked at Fidelity Mutual for a while
>Met my dad
>He was a project manager who, like his brother and my mom, was trying to get away from a bad family history
>Moved to southern Maine
>Both had baggage and, after having me and two other kids, realized that this wasn't going to work
>Got divorced when I was 7, but things are pretty amicable now
>I'm 17
>Know my history and am not going to be stuck like this
>Going into Medical Bioengineering and Biotech
>Going to make a ******** of money
>Going to buy a big parcel of land
>Going to build a big house, and surround it with gardens and trails and fences
>Going to retire and live here, and I'm going to walk through the gardens and the trails and play games and read the news and not have to deal with the world anymore.
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User avatar #92 to #84 - sonicsyndicate (09/22/2015) [-]
now where you talk about your present plans write that in past tense and say he instead of I then add "but then he got hit by a car on his way home one night." and bam another ****** up generational story
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User avatar #85 to #21 - mooncakes (09/22/2015) [-]
my family came from vietnamese royalty but i guess due to communism, my grandparents are too spooked to even talk about it, even here in america. they let it slip though and it is absolutely useless to know. my grandparents were very rich in there but i guess things change when you move
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+4
User avatar #76 to #21 - balor (09/22/2015) [-]
>Great great great Grandfather was a master Sawyer
>Great Great Grandfather was a business man
>Great Grandfather worked on roofs. He was a roofy lol
>Grandfather did a lot of jobs.
>Father works on computers and is highly respected in his line of work
>I am almost an adult and I just play video games.
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+39
#44 to #21 - argoniantits (09/22/2015) [-]
Filthy Stormcloak you can suck my
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+17
#50 to #44 - floran (09/22/2015) [-]
tfw playing Empire side as Altmer
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+15
#78 to #50 - argoniantits (09/22/2015) [-]
tfw playing Stormcloak side as Dunmer
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+1
User avatar #100 to #78 - holycrapimacupcake (09/22/2015) [-]
I played Stormcloak as an Imperial...I think deep down Ulfric wanted me killed but knew I could do what he did to the High King twelve times over.
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#77 to #50 - argoniantits has deleted their comment [-]
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+10
#48 to #44 - aizeinstein (09/22/2015) [-]
Skyrim belongs to the Nords, you filthy immigrant!
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+5
User avatar #45 to #44 - andywazowski (09/22/2015) [-]
I know what you did
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+18
User avatar #51 to #21 - angelious (09/22/2015) [-]
>great grandfather is a drunkard
>grandfather is a drunkard
>granduncle died falling from a pick up truck after ww2. drunk
>all my uncles are drunk
>my daddy is a drunkard
>i dont drink


i got disowned...

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+4
#64 to #51 - theoddanon (09/22/2015) [-]
How did you get disowned for NOT drinking?
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+11
User avatar #65 to #64 - angelious (09/22/2015) [-]
i broke the family tradition.
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#67 to #65 - theoddanon (09/22/2015) [-]
That just seems so extreme a punishment. Now I'm an Irishman who dosn't drink and people sometimes give me wierd looks because of it, but to disown your own family simply for a personal choice seems insane.
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+9
User avatar #68 to #67 - angelious (09/22/2015) [-]
its a joke.

i am not actually disowned from the family i was just making a joke.


but yeah the saying that im breaking the family tradition..or a joke rather. is a longstanding in my family.
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+1
#69 to #68 - theoddanon (09/22/2015) [-]
Oh okay, that makes more sense. goddamn Poe's law. I get alot of the same in Ireland, so I know what that's like.
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+11
User avatar #18 to #9 - captainprincess ONLINE (09/22/2015) [-]
"Snooe"
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+14
User avatar #15 - captainprincess ONLINE (09/22/2015) [-]
my dad invented eating grapes with shredded cheese

In my eyes anyway
Literally never heard of or conceived of the idea until he showed it to me

it's pretty good too
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User avatar #96 to #15 - wtfduud (09/22/2015) [-]
Why would he try that in the first place?
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#111 to #15 - anon (09/22/2015) [-]
Based on the reactions, your dad probably invented that.
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+1
User avatar #94 to #15 - sonicsyndicate (09/22/2015) [-]
idk if youre ************ or not and i dont really care cause i just tried it and its pretty good
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User avatar #114 to #94 - captainprincess ONLINE (09/23/2015) [-]
the others have no stomach
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User avatar #115 to #114 - sonicsyndicate (09/23/2015) [-]
they probably throw up when served fish with the head still on lol
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#116 to #115 - captainprincess ONLINE (09/23/2015) [-]
y-yeah
how weak
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#117 to #116 - sonicsyndicate (09/23/2015) [-]
ever had snake?
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User avatar #118 to #117 - captainprincess ONLINE (09/23/2015) [-]
apparently

I don't remember it though
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User avatar #119 to #118 - sonicsyndicate (09/23/2015) [-]
its good as **** its like chicken but with the texture of freshwater bass
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User avatar #120 to #119 - captainprincess ONLINE (09/23/2015) [-]
hm

might look into it (again) at some point
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User avatar #121 to #120 - sonicsyndicate (09/23/2015) [-]
that webm gives me massive nostalgia and goosebumps btw
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User avatar #122 to #121 - captainprincess ONLINE (09/23/2015) [-]
I don't quite get nostalgic since I don't have a family of fishermen or irishmen

But the goosebumps I understand
It's kinda haunting
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User avatar #123 to #122 - sonicsyndicate (09/23/2015) [-]
it makes me long for the old days
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User avatar #124 to #123 - captainprincess ONLINE (09/23/2015) [-]
oh right
I can't long for the old days, I wasn't around to see them
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User avatar #125 to #124 - sonicsyndicate (09/23/2015) [-]
me either but they just seem so beautiful and happy but then again who remembers bad memories anyway
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User avatar #126 to #125 - captainprincess ONLINE (09/23/2015) [-]
traumatized people, mostly
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+7
#22 to #15 - anon (09/22/2015) [-]
Ew
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+10
User avatar #4 - equestriaman (09/22/2015) [-]
my great great great great great uncle was one of the police officers killed during Ned Kelly's last stand
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+3
User avatar #5 to #4 - hellomynameisbill ONLINE (09/22/2015) [-]
I know this is a weird question, but whose side are you on?
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+7
User avatar #6 to #5 - equestriaman (09/22/2015) [-]
Ned Kelly's side of cause, the police back then were very corrupt, and they even raped Ned's sister.
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User avatar #37 to #6 - youregaylol (09/22/2015) [-]
"When Kelly was asked if Fitzpatrick tried to take liberties with his sister, Kate Kelly, he said "No, that is a foolish story; if he or any other policeman tried to take liberties with my sister, Victoria would not hold him."

trove.nla.gov.au/ndp/del/article/70946696
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User avatar #10 to #6 - doomxninja (09/22/2015) [-]
...i'm related to ned kelly...my dads, Great grandmother was ned kellys sister...sheeeeet
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-1
User avatar #14 to #10 - equestriaman (09/22/2015) [-]
a lot of people need to remember that even though Australia was a place to dump criminals, some of this "criminals" only wanted to feed there families, or in some particularly horrible cases a father was set up by some wealthy asshole so said wealthy asshole to could take the father's wife.
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User avatar #52 to #14 - Kanoah (09/22/2015) [-]
People forget that you would likely be transported to Australia for literally everything, since it was a simple way to get convicts out of the country. But, Australia was mostly made up of "petty" criminals, since anything actually dangerous was likely a hangable offence
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+6
User avatar #57 - authvin (09/22/2015) [-]
- Can trace my family back to the 1350's by name, and we know for a fact that they migrated to Norway from Scotland around 1100. They were McClouds or something.
- Have had two or three major family farms, at the largest Norway's biggest viking gold treasure ever (Hoenskatten) was found. My great-something that owned the land gave half of it to the young man who found it and helped him dig it up. The young man then went and bought an entire farm with cash, and still had money left.
- Same great-something helped write the Norwegian constitution
- His son sat in Parliament for numerous years
- Another great-something started the Jarlsberg cheese, probably Norway's most famous
- Family's owned several big estates in the capital Oslo through the years, however some time ago people started hating each other and my line was passed over in terms of inheritance. We got nothin' anymore.
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+4
User avatar #29 - casval (09/22/2015) [-]
My Great Grandfather was the not-so-great U.S. President Zachary Taylor. My ancestors migrated to the country from England on the Mayflower. My family owned a very productive plantation and after the slaves were emancipated, they continued to work for our plantation (with pay) because they were treated so well there. that's about as much of my ancestral background as I am familiar with.

I came from a historically aristocratic/noble family but got kicked out of the Aristocrat Club 3 generations ago when my great grandmother died in childbirth in 1921 and the father refused to take my grandma. Our rich relatives would have nothing to with a bastard child like my grandma, so from my grandma onwards, my family has had to start with literally nothing.
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+2
#103 - psycochildz (09/22/2015) [-]
True ******* story.

> Great grandfather gets off a boat in Boston from Lithuania at age 6 (his mom seeing Russian ******** across the border)
> G-Grandfather has an american step dad always working in a factory
> works in same factory at 17
> Year later Pearl Harbor happens
> Gets drafted into the army
> Fights in the North African Campaign
> Fights his way up Italy
> While in Italy, position overtaken, everyone around him either ran or died
> Plays dead
> Italians come
> One kicks Gdad in the ribs to see if hes alive
> Doesn't move a ****** muscle
> Italians continue on their way
> As they were leaving, Gdad gets up and shoots one in the back with a pistol
> Dead
> Firefight with the others, reinforcements called, he fights the entire day, Guerilla warfare style
> Once he was safe there was 28 Italians dead, unconfirmed number wounded
> Catches up with unit
> Goes to Germany
> In Berlin during Nuremburg Trials
> Comes home to a heroes welcome
> Goes back to work in factory
> Raises a family
> Dies in his 60s
> Grandson tells Great-Grandson this story
> G-Grandson heard it somewhere before
> It was a story of a medal of honor recipient
> Wait is he...
> Cant find the story
> Goes to G-Grandmothers to look in the attic for military records
> Finds G-Grandads military record
> FInds out he started training in Fort Devens (40 miles away from me)
> Finds out that G-Grandad Never completed bootcamp, dishonorably discharged after 4 weeks for going AWOL
> Pic Unrelated
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+1
#108 to #103 - MisfitsFan (09/22/2015) [-]
Well that was a whole lot of nothin
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+2
#109 to #108 - psycochildz (09/22/2015) [-]
Legit family story for decades, my dad was so proud of it, its why he joined the army straight out of high school. When i came back from my Great Grams house he asked me right away what i found.

Felt like an asshole for telling him.
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+2
User avatar #24 - reggaemortis (09/22/2015) [-]
There's greatness in your blood, Jon Snow.
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+1
User avatar #102 - jjvoodoo (09/22/2015) [-]
I'm related to Robert Louis Stevenson (writer of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, also Treasure Island)
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+1
User avatar #101 - loonquawl (09/22/2015) [-]
My ancestors were pimps, whores, cotton pickers and railroaders...
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+1
#75 - myjunk (09/22/2015) [-]
Toilets are 5 thousand years old. what this refers to is one of the first mechanisms for a flush toilet, described by Sir John Harington (1561-1612)
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+1
#25 - rickyleipzig ONLINE (09/22/2015) [-]
My great-uncle (I think that's how you say it) was made chief of police of the Balearic islands by Francisco Franco Bahamonde after a successful campaign in Russia.
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+1
#13 - PSpepper (09/22/2015) [-]
I had a very great uncle who attempted to assassinate George Washington. He failed (obviously), and was hung for it.
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User avatar #33 to #13 - therealfell (09/22/2015) [-]
doesn't sound so great to me
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#113 - thelonelypotato (09/23/2015) [-]
since everyones leaving ancestry stuff guess i will too. I am related to Lancelot, which is kinda neat. this arcade game was the shizz-nizzle
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#112 - swiggityswooty (09/22/2015) [-]
thomas crapper didn't invent the toilet, even though he did invent the ballcock that our toilets use. no **** just looked it up
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User avatar #110 - meroune ONLINE (09/22/2015) [-]
My great grandfather fought in World War I in France, and got a pocket watch there in 1917. His son, my grandfather was a part of the Korean War and got the watch from his dad's will. Now he's in his 80s and he was a big drinker and smoker for most of his life so he probably doesn't have much time left, so he passed the watch down to me. He never had much money so it was one of the best gifts I could have possibly received from him.
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#107 - wilder (09/22/2015) [-]
Robert the Bruce is my ancestral uncle...I feel dirty.
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#106 - anon (09/22/2015) [-]
**anonymous used "*roll picture*"**
**anonymous rolled image** I'm not gay but I would suck this guy's dick
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