Tard Stories

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+62

#39 - alucord (12/16/2015) [+] (2 replies)

stickied by gypsydude

Guy's face who actually knocked the sandwich out of his hands

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#54 to #39 - alucord (12/16/2015) [-]

I've only been stickied once before!

and that was by my uncle so it doesn't count

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#77 to #54 - gypsydude [OP](12/17/2015) [-]

You deserved it

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#76 - gypsydude [OP](12/17/2015) [-]

stickied by gypsydude

/Attack+of+the+tards/funny-pictures/5771945/
Episode two is out
Attack of the tards

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+58

#7 - ayehateyawrflaws (12/16/2015) [-]

The tards dont have their own school?

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#59 to #7 - kristovsky (12/17/2015) [-]

We get Tard schools in the UK, as a result very few tards ever get into normal schools here (usually only ones who are slightly on the spectrum, though we had a bigger tard in my school cause his mum refused to send him to a tard school).

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#73 to #7 - ecowolfrb (12/17/2015) [-]

They should have their own school, it's called the abortion clinic.

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#56 to #7 - wrpen (12/16/2015) [-]

My high school was the biggest in the district in southeast Texas. There were like six or seven genuine tards enrolled, but plenty were damn near.

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#62 to #7 - KillinTime (12/17/2015) [-]

nope! that would hurt the parents feelings.

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#66 to #7 - Shiny ONLINE (12/17/2015) [-]

Basically, soccer moms force the special needs kids to be taught with the rest even though none of the kids want that and the high functioning retards already attend normal classes with reasonable accommodation.

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#69 to #7 - thesupervillian (12/17/2015) [-]

Sort of. There are "alternative" schools that are supposed to be good for kids with some ****** problem or excuse for learning. I used to go to one. It was like 80% burnouts and 10% tards. Slowly, though, the tards were no longer at the school. We had one that was an alright guy. He graduated around 5 times and just coming back because he liked the school. Dude used to run around and dance during lunch while listening to music, liked to pretend he was an animal at times and would roar or some **** . Never had those tard breakdowns that these stories feature. Honestly, sometimes I would forget he had the downs. I say this because I would feel bad about the numerous times i've made retard jokes to my friends while the kid was near. Teachers would yell at me and it would take me a minute to remember that the kid was near. Worst thing he's ever done was chase me trying to spit water on me. That was pretty weird I guess. He was still smarter then most the burn outs at my school though, so there's that.

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#27 to #7 - Deavas ONLINE (12/16/2015) [-]

i went to school in the south for 3 years, tards everywhere. thankfully i moved back up north where things are much less ****

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+64

#9 to #7 - flyingrabbit (12/16/2015) [-]

Many countries support the idea of 'including' kids with special needs into regular schools, in order to build their self esteem and to show them that they are not any different from the other students.

However, studies show a decline in overall grades based on school statistics (before and after inclusion).

In Germany, there are indeed schools for kids with special needs. Which is nice, since they get to be in an environment which caters to their needs and help them mature at their own pace.

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#15 to #9 - anon (12/16/2015) [-]

My sister works in one of those "tards included" schools in Germany. It - doesn't - work. You basically have a class of between 25 and 30 kids, 5 of those have some sort of learning disability and 2 or 3 need constant attention or they either won't understand anything or worst case they'll **** **** up constantly.

Now normally you have 2 teachers per class and if you are lucky 1 aide (who could be anyone from some high school girl helping out to an actually qualified person).
Most of the time though it's 2 teachers, one running the lesson, the other one walking around helping out. But there are about 8 kids who definitely need help all the time. Meanwhile, 1 of those 3 very special kids is throwing a tantrum, making it impossible for anyone to concentrate. When he has finally calmed down, some of the normal kids have decided to chime in and throw stuff at each other. All this noise has severely intimidated a shy special girl who is now sitting underneath the desk, crying, sobbing and rocking back and forth.

Now that is a good day. What happens though if the 2nd teacher is sick? Tough **** , that's what happens.
So as much as I like the concept of these schools, they aren't really helping anyone.

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#45 to #15 - anon (12/16/2015) [-]

I went to a "Non-mainstream" school in the UK, had a much better set up. I didn't really need to go there, just had mild aspergers and had problems in my first high school. I had learning support follow me everywhere which is embarrassing as **** . I got picked on by one of learning support staff, that was ignored by the rest of the teachers and I refused to go back. Moved into new school a few months later.

How they operated was most classes had between 5 and 10 kids, one teacher and if there was hard to handle kids or a troublesome class in general 1 learning support person. My class had 4. The school was actually alright, very patient teachers of course. Had some really badly effected kids though, people who would never have responsibility EVER. Couldn't stand it by the end though, still don't like socializing with autistic people because of it.

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#17 to #15 - flyingrabbit (12/16/2015) [-]

That is actually rather interesting. My Uncle works at one of those schools in Germany, too. According to him, everything is going decently well. Guess it is different regarding the state the school is located in ...

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#20 to #17 - watermelonkittie (12/16/2015) [-]

I guess it's also the students in said school. My brother went to such a special school (which was a mistake, since his autism is very slight, but that's another story) and he said te only thing that actually went wrong there was that some kid was getting bullied. This was due to some aggressive classmaates of his, so there's that. School didn't help though. My brother took pictures as evidence of the bullying and the school made him delete those since it "could harm the schools reputation"

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#10 to #9 - gypsydude [OP](12/16/2015) [-]

Germany has a program like that, really? That's actually really great and you clearly pointed it out with the environment, plus the amount of help and assistance that they can get compared to trying to divided the help and resources across areas to only reach one kid.

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#11 to #10 - compared (12/16/2015) [-]

Thanks for the mention.

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#13 to #11 - gypsydude [OP](12/16/2015) [-]

No prob bae wanna get eroupe in here too?

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#14 to #13 - compared (12/16/2015) [-]

We may as well.

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#44 to #9 - theredsunrising (12/16/2015) [-]

I preferred their old program

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#35 to #9 - belshir (12/16/2015) [-]

never been fan of that, i understand the process and it helps kids understand but holy hell. These kids arent really kids, they are walking problems to everyone around them, they cant really learn and they are disruptive to those around them, its unfair to regular kids. I dont know maybe im just a moody **** ...

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#67 to #9 - adhdtookmyaccount (12/17/2015) [-]

I hear Germany is really good at dealing with retards

They get to go to fun camps and be free!

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#19 to #9 - watermelonkittie (12/16/2015) [-]

In Holland the need for a special school is evaluated before the parents make their decision. Even then, the schools usually have a meeting with the child first to see if he/she can fit in a normal school life. I have slight autism, but that didn't bother the school board. But I have heard stories about down-syndromes getting rejected.

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+26

#18 - wattafak (12/16/2015) [-]

These stories are the ******* **** . Need moar.

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+20

#31 - BerryLicious (12/16/2015) [-]

There was this one tard at my primary school, I was in year 5, I think. (No idea what that is in Americaspeak). He was pretty cool most of the time. Obsessed with fire engines, firemen, and anything fire-service related. Would often bumble around the playground making siren noises. Completely harmless unless something upset his autist routine.

One time, I was hanging out with some friends on the jungle gym thing, doing monkey bars, climbing n **** . Tardengine comes over and asks if we want to play firemen.
We were pretty chill with him so we say sure, what do we do. Tardman says we have to climb up on random bits of the junge gym and pretend to be people stuck in a house fire, and he would be the fireman and save us.
Sure, whatever, we're like, 8 years old so pretend play is cool.
We climb up and start wailing "help help we're gonna die" etc.
No **** , FireTard takes out a box of matches and starts trying to set fire to the ******* playground.
I'm actually panicking at this point (I had an incident where I was burned as a little kid and was **** scared of fire for about a decade) and start shrieking my head off. 5-Gum-Tard is loving it, he thinks it's authentic. Teacher comes running over and flips the **** out.
Cue epic Volcanic-Tard rage.
Wailing, screaming, stamping, flailing fists, the works.
We have no Tard wranglers so he's hauled off by this teacher and suspended for a week.

I have more stories of FireTard if anyone wants them?

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#33 to #31 - mamenber (12/16/2015) [-]

Yes plese

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#34 to #33 - BerryLicious (12/16/2015) [-]

/Tard+tales+the+firetard/text/5771845/

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#38 to #34 - TheVertigo (12/16/2015) [-]

Berrytales? Berrytales.

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#43 to #31 - gypsydude [OP](12/16/2015) [-]

Hey, would you mind if for the next comp I use a story of yours?

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#55 to #43 - BerryLicious (12/16/2015) [-]

By all means. Just credit me and I'm happy!

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#75 to #55 - gypsydude [OP](12/17/2015) [-]

Thank you and of course I Will I just posted the next comp and didnt add yours but for the third one I will for sure and notify you when it comes out. Thanks again

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#78 to #75 - BerryLicious (12/17/2015) [-]

Sounds great! Thank you for including me

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+74

#1 - whompers ONLINE (12/16/2015) [-]

'Tis the season.

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+10

#28 - footfetishist (12/16/2015) [-]

"We import them"

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+15

#32 - lucariopwnz (12/16/2015) [-]

This may sound a bit harsh but I don't see the point of going through so much work for friggin tards... they literally can do nothing for society except become a detriment. Money, man power, time, its all spent on them and for what? Because we want to be more civil than our ancestors who used to drop them off cliffs at birth? Seems like a waste to me...
If we're not gonna go back to that route why not just find a big building somewhere to lock them all in? They are clearly not fit for society, why try and force them into it?

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-4

#36 to #32 - anon (12/16/2015) [-]

**anonymous used "*roll picture*"**
**anonymous rolled image**That was a thing it was called an asylum a place that made sane people go insane, and the insane notice the fact that there are sane people there but the doctors and nurses don't.

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#37 to #36 - lucariopwnz (12/16/2015) [-]

yea but that was for insane people, i mean a place just for tards... it doesn't even need supervision. Just lock them all in a huge building and let whatever happens, happen. Screw it

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#58 to #37 - needsauceadmisblan (12/17/2015) [-]

we cant do that
they would build a kingdom and **** us all to death as a newly trained army.

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#60 to #32 - jarofdirt (12/17/2015) [-]

I honestly believe these people need to be euthanized in a civilized fashion.

Being a retard of this caliber brings nothing but pain. The tard is in pain because he knows he will never be able to control his impulses, or function like a normal human being. The family feels pain, living with the knowledge that all the love, labor, pain, tears and sweat they invest in him will still never make him a happy, functional member of society. He will never get a good job. He will most likely never find love. He will never raise a happy family of his own, or die content knowing he lived a fulfilling life.

The worst of them are the brute-strength, violent ones who knock holes into walls and beat up those around them. Their childish minds will never understand the suffering they bring upon those around them and are nothing but a clear and present danger to people. It's frankly an ungrateful waste of life.

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#63 to #32 - exerthaddock (12/17/2015) [-]

I have a special-needs sister and I 100% agree. I say special-needs because we don't know what the **** she has, only that she can't talk and acts like a toddler even though she's 13. All she will ever do is watch Barney her whole life. Most times, she doesn't even seem like a human, more like an animal in a human body. She makes our lives a mess because we have to cater to her every whim and feed her hedonistic lifestyle just so she can go on doing absolutely nothing. I don't know why my parent's don't just send her to a home or something. It would only make our lives better.

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#64 to #32 - jeanmariegrangon (12/17/2015) [-]

if you want to know what real butthurts looks like, you should try having this kind of speech with somebody who got a tard in his family.

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#21 - metalheadtildeath (12/16/2015) [-]

don't have the pic, but a buddy of mine once ****** a chick with down's cuz she had 12/10 tits and liked anal. "yeah dude i swear! she could suck a golfball smooth!" not thanks man

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#22 to #21 - dykefights (12/16/2015) [-]

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#23 to #22 - metalheadtildeath (12/16/2015) [-]

yeah it was.....something

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#24 to #23 - dykefights (12/16/2015) [-]

I am SO sorry for your loss. That's some nasty business.

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#25 to #24 - metalheadtildeath (12/16/2015) [-]

? i didn't lose anything. i mean, he bailed on me to throw dick ad a tard chick once or twice but she was cool. made AMAZING nachos and burritos. loved puns, and games. honestly, she was a pretty solid 7.5-8/10. she jokingly called herself the "white asian" cuz her eyes looked weird. yeah, she was downy, she knew it. she didn't care. she "compensated for it" by being pretty damned cool.

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#3 - punxy (12/16/2015) [-]

More pls <3

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#12 to #3 - gypsydude [OP](12/16/2015) [-]

I'll notify you when attack of the tards comes out

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#40 to #12 - indeef ONLINE (12/16/2015) [-]

can i get mentioned as well

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#42 to #40 - gypsydude [OP](12/16/2015) [-]

Of course my fellow tard

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#47 to #42 - jaboodydubsroller (12/16/2015) [-]

metioned pls

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#16 to #12 - punxy (12/16/2015) [-]

You are a god. <3

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+5

#5 - anon (12/16/2015) [-]

Inb4 some SJW comes in and says all tard stories are lies because he/she has a tard brother/sister that has very good behaviour etc etc.

Well consider yourself lucky because on my way to my ex 5 years ago I had to pass a park that had free-roaming tards and the stories are actually all close to reality. The **** I have seen there is terrifying and hilarious.

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+5

#49 - anon (12/16/2015) [-]

In middle school.
School starts this tard program were they try to put tards in with the regs.
It doesn't go that well most of them a sent back to tard class.
all expect one tard, she is like mild tardo or something.
Her name was Julie, She liked ACDC and Green Day, Metallica. But her mom but a bunch of christian **** on it.
She deleted all that crap and put the music she likes in it.
She sits with me at lunch, but doesn't bother me much.
Eventually she talks to me, says she liked my T-Shirt i wore on the first day she saw me.(it was ACDC)
I tell her about how my dad takes me to see them every time the come in to town.
She smiles, her smile is so pretty. oh **** I'm falling for a tard.
We talk for hours, she gave me her phone number.
about a year or so goes by ACDC is touring they'll be in the next town over.
Convince my dad to take Julie
He agrees if it's okay with her mom.
I call mild tard and ask her to Concert.
She says yes and says her mom won't mind.
Alright! We go to pick her up her mom gives us a bible(why i don't know) it's one of those little pocket new testaments.
Halfway out of the city Mild tard freaks out she forgot her Ipod
Starts rocking back and fourth crying my dad tries to turn around but she freak out even more.
I turn on the radio full blast and she starts to calm down.
she stops rocking and sings along to the songs.
after a great night we take her home. her mom looks mad, i'm a little worried.
she say it will be alright. don't hear from her all weekend.
get to school on Monday find out that mild tards mom killed her in an attempt to exorcise demons out of her.
apparently she found the Ipod with all it music on it. She thought her daughter was possed.
I cry and have to be taken home, Everyone stares at me as i bawl over Julie.
when her funeral came i put my shirt in the coffin, it didn't fit me anymore anyways.

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#70 to #49 - brandinifettucine (12/17/2015) [-]

I was expecting a cheesy pun at the end.
That's ****** up.

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#71 to #49 - ecowolfrb (12/17/2015) [-]

I expected retardedly funny but I got ridiculously sad.

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#50 to #49 - harrypottergirl (12/16/2015) [-]

**** man

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#51 to #49 - theuberzer (12/16/2015) [-]

If this is real, holy **** dude, that sucks

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#53 - buttkickerboy (12/16/2015) [-]

Close encounters with the tard kind

My first encounter with a tard was in grade 1, when I was on the playground
talking to someone. I was walking around when suddenly this guy named David
gets up beside me and says "why did you say that" in a really tard voice
I just left
It's a very brief memory but it's my first encounter with one and I can barely remember it

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#26 - mothybird (12/16/2015) [-]

My school was one of the ones where they forced tards in there. At the same time, we were pretty close to an actual tard school, so there was just a small cluster. But there was this one who was obviously retarded, yet functioning, named Tanner. I was with two friends in gym. He walks up to give his daily greeting. "Hi tanner!" They say. "HI GRILLS!!" He yells as he grabs one of each girls breasts, twists it a bit, and yodels as he walks away. They didn't know what to do. They decided to tell the teacher, who basically said "He's retarded, what do you expect?"

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#30 - carsontellsyou (12/16/2015) [-]

GIF

**carsontellsyou used "*roll picture*"**
**carsontellsyou rolled image**
I've gone to school with a couple of tards. I'm really glad nothing like the stories happened.

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#4 - eddio ONLINE (12/16/2015) [-]

Aw yeah son, the age of tard must be ushered in once more.

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#2 - robertelee (12/16/2015) [-]

**robertelee used "*roll picture*"**
**robertelee rolled image**
i need more
IM ON A TARD TALES BENDER

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#41 - indeef ONLINE (12/16/2015) [-]

tard stories? do you mean undertale?

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#74 - mexicaninja (12/17/2015) [-]

The only good tard story i have is from 6th grade and i vaguely remember it.
My 6th grade science class had a like 4 or 5 tards mixed in with all the normies.
We were learning about elements and we were making the Styrofoam ball models of these elements as a project.
I sat behind one of the tards and one of the wranglers was helping him with the model and then all of a sudden he starts flipping out.
The teacher was a 60 year old women with alot of patience so she tried to calm him down along with the wranglers but it was useless.
One of the hall monitors called the vice principal down to try to help and the second she stepped into the room the kid started shouting at her " You're a ******* dumb bitch and stay the **** away from me".
It didnt stop with her, he cursed out everybody that was talking to him and was throwing **** around the room.
I dont really remember what happened after that but he wasn't at school for the next 2 weeks.

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#68 - PublicEnemy (12/17/2015) [-]