Upload
Login or register
x

tales from a gaybar

 
+427
Views: 24012
Favorited: 29
Submitted: 09/18/2015
Share On Facebook
submit to reddit +Favorite Subscribe to evilanakie

Comments(87):

Leave a comment Refresh Comments Show GIFs
[ 87 comments ]
Anonymous comments allowed.
76 comments displayed.
User avatar #1 - evilanakie [OP]ONLINE (09/18/2015) [+] (4 replies)
stickied by evilanakie
gay guide
tuck- the act of hiding the penis (drag queens)
poppers- a liquid you smell and sex feels great but makes you retarded after too long
worker bee- a type of dancer that looks like just another customer just slightly more attractive often in fancy branded underwear try get you to buy drinks
User avatar #13 - evilanakie [OP]ONLINE (09/18/2015) [+] (2 replies)
stickied by evilanakie
#2 - ninjamanfu ONLINE (09/18/2015) [-]
all the homo 10/10 would read some more
User avatar #31 - tattoovendetta (09/19/2015) [-]
Back story, My leather club used to keet at a gay bar for events. Being strait, tall, bearded, and, so I was repeatedly told, having the most beautiful eyes I would get a lot of attention.
Well our leather club does weekly kink classes and that was our groups focus. But we would do weekly karaoke there as well. This type of event would happen a few times a month.

Go out to patio to smoke (no smoking in doors in wisconsin)
Generally 30 to 40+ year old gay man would see this as his chance to catch me alone
Insert pick up line ex. Aren't you a tall drink of water
I just do the typical not interested "hey"
GUY"You're on of those kinky people aren't you?"
ME"Yup"
(Now for some reason they always think that means bisexual, now I'm an equal opportunity sadistic Bastard but no sexual attraction towards other males)
I tell them that I'm not interested but they think it's being hard to get.
now this is where they try to get touchy or do the flirt "I want to see this"
1 I don't like being touched
2 I love to **** with people

The first line of defense is telling them what I would do ie. Choke them out, chain them and piss on them.
Generally a horrified look and disinterest
Few try to call a bluff.
Tell them to bend over they get excited and I take my leather arm strap and hit them with the riveted side. Hard
They say thats to rough and I say thats a warm up.
0% pass rate.

I once had a guy go strait for the down the pants grab. Never seen this guy before and really pissed me off. So like any mentally unstable person I told him to get on his knees. He gets eager and does it and I let go 6 beers worth of dehydrated piss on him. Never see the guy again.

Now this sounds like I'm being an ass hole but I have learned that if I tell them im not interested or try to let them down easy theymsee it as a game.
Touching really pisses me off, expecially the beard.






User avatar #38 to #31 - evilanakie [OP]ONLINE (09/19/2015) [-]
this happens a lot at work
people say long intricate fetishes
but from what i have seen the sleeze always bites
#34 to #31 - fiahhawt (09/19/2015) [-]
That is awful. awful funny
User avatar #9 - nanako ONLINE (09/18/2015) [-]
Poppers are basically a fun word for solvent sniffing. I have no idea why those things are so popular in the gay community.

They're sold, legally, as room scenters, or aromatherapy oils, or whatever .But it's basically a tiny bottle of a powerful solvent. You sniff deeply, and you feel high as a kite for about 2 minutes.

repeated use causes irritation the nose. no idea of longterm effects
User avatar #10 to #9 - evilanakie [OP]ONLINE (09/18/2015) [-]
i know why its popular
its legal and quick
theoretical situation go
on dance floor
dancing
"here smell this youll love it"
smells
hardcore sex happens
done

ITS EASY THATS WHY
User avatar #11 to #10 - nanako ONLINE (09/18/2015) [-]
but it literally only lasts two minutes
User avatar #12 to #11 - evilanakie [OP]ONLINE (09/18/2015) [-]
so do most guys at work when they do poppers
User avatar #32 to #9 - tattoovendetta (09/19/2015) [-]
From what I have told it also loosens up the ass hole.
User avatar #36 to #9 - bubblesbubble (09/19/2015) [-]
Is that amyl nitrate? I heard that it dilates your ass from the second season of silicon valley. They even mention that it causes euphoria.
User avatar #83 to #36 - nanako ONLINE (09/21/2015) [-]
i too have heard this.

I've also personally tested and found it to be false. placebo effect by those that believe it imo
User avatar #43 - catkyte (09/19/2015) [-]
wait wait wait wait, so you feel safe in a place where people walk around swearing, smashing, raping, and setting things on fire?
User avatar #44 to #43 - evilanakie [OP]ONLINE (09/19/2015) [-]
better than highschool
User avatar #45 to #44 - catkyte (09/19/2015) [-]
can't argue with that i guess.
User avatar #33 - macross (09/19/2015) [-]
Im Gay and you just made me more disgusted then i usually am at most gays.... are honest monogamous gay people really that hard to find?
User avatar #84 to #33 - kavrick ONLINE (09/22/2015) [-]
Yeah I know how you feel, it dusgusts me to know that most gay people do drugs and **** random people whulst spreading aids and god knows what, along with the rape and **** they do, its even worse when its always the bottoms thst are like that, makes my already low chances of dating someone even lower if I want to find someone decent
User avatar #39 to #33 - evilanakie [OP]ONLINE (09/19/2015) [-]
yes they are
i want a mono relationship
but thats ******* impossible
User avatar #65 to #39 - peanutbraddle (09/19/2015) [-]
>>#33,
I met my boyfriend on this site, and we have a monogamous relationship. Yes, I met him on FJ.
DASHGAMER COME TALK TO THE OTHER FAGS WHEN YOU GET HOME
User avatar #66 to #65 - evilanakie [OP]ONLINE (09/19/2015) [-]
but do you IRL?
User avatar #67 to #66 - peanutbraddle (09/19/2015) [-]
We live together.
User avatar #68 to #67 - evilanakie [OP]ONLINE (09/19/2015) [-]
oh cool
but still
its like trying to pull teeth finding a mono gay guy
User avatar #71 to #68 - dashgamer (09/19/2015) [-]
What a bunch of faggots.
User avatar #40 to #39 - macross (09/19/2015) [-]
eyy baybe wer u at?
User avatar #42 to #40 - evilanakie [OP]ONLINE (09/19/2015) [-]
my house
#64 to #33 - anon (09/19/2015) [-]
Met my bf on grindr, been mono since we met. Took a good two years of weeding through **** to find someone legit, but it ended up working out. (about to celebrate the big ol' 6 months, 45 years in the gay community)
#78 to #33 - anon (09/19/2015) [-]
are you expecting to find wondrous reputable homosexuals at a backwoods australian gay bar?
#72 - bemmo (09/19/2015) [-]
Put chili sauce on the glory hole.
Put chili sauce on the glory hole.
User avatar #74 to #72 - evilanakie [OP]ONLINE (09/19/2015) [-]
wouldnt be the first one
User avatar #75 to #74 - bemmo (09/19/2015) [-]
In a way, that makes it better.
It'd be like that chocolate chili Russian roulette thing. But for dicks.

Point of curiosity, are the bar staff a gay bars predominantly gay as well or are straight bar workers not uncommon?
User avatar #76 to #75 - evilanakie [OP]ONLINE (09/19/2015) [-]
most bi
but there are a lot of straight/gay 4 pay
User avatar #77 to #76 - bemmo (09/19/2015) [-]
Ah, fair enough.

Other question where it becomes increasingly obvious this isn't my scene, what's the red room?
User avatar #79 to #77 - evilanakie [OP]ONLINE (09/19/2015) [-]
the dirty room for the dirty kids who want to get kinky yet still have a slither of modesty not to do it in public
User avatar #80 to #79 - bemmo (09/19/2015) [-]
Well isn't that considerate of them.
User avatar #81 to #80 - evilanakie [OP]ONLINE (09/19/2015) [-]
not when they **** up the walls
User avatar #8 - noisecontrollers (09/18/2015) [-]
I need more.
User avatar #28 - joekerr (09/18/2015) [-]
Oh, it's you. Hi evilanakie, how's your silicon schlong?
User avatar #37 to #28 - evilanakie [OP]ONLINE (09/19/2015) [-]
alright why
User avatar #49 to #37 - joekerr (09/19/2015) [-]
Good. Dunno, trying to be polite, as I talked very long with you recently.
User avatar #50 to #49 - evilanakie [OP]ONLINE (09/19/2015) [-]
what did we talk bout
ive talked a lot on here
User avatar #51 to #50 - joekerr (09/19/2015) [-]
In a trolling manner I asked you why you want to have a dick, you didn't take the bait, and then we talked a lot in general.
User avatar #54 to #51 - evilanakie [OP]ONLINE (09/19/2015) [-]
oh
User avatar #56 to #54 - joekerr (09/19/2015) [-]
You remember?
User avatar #57 to #56 - evilanakie [OP]ONLINE (09/19/2015) [-]
yea
User avatar #58 to #57 - joekerr (09/19/2015) [-]
K.

I like your oc. Do more of it. It's interesting, kinda.
User avatar #59 to #58 - evilanakie [OP]ONLINE (09/19/2015) [-]
im in the middle of writting another
User avatar #60 to #59 - joekerr (09/19/2015) [-]
(Y)
User avatar #61 to #59 - joekerr (09/19/2015) [-]
*thumbs up*
#3 - GShock (09/18/2015) [-]
The last story...

You should probably sticky your first comment, though. Didn't know a what a worker bee was at first. I thought it was just a nickname for your waiters.
0
#4 to #3 - GShock has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #5 to #3 - GShock (09/18/2015) [-]
Didn't see you already did the sticky.
User avatar #85 - shadowblaziard (09/27/2015) [-]
So did you contract AIDS?
User avatar #86 to #85 - evilanakie [OP]ONLINE (09/27/2015) [-]
no
User avatar #87 to #86 - shadowblaziard (09/27/2015) [-]
Good
User avatar #82 - evilanakie [OP]ONLINE (09/20/2015) [-]
LINKS
/Tales+from+a+gaybar/text/5688477/
/Tales+from+a+gaybar+2+electric+boogaloo/text/5688674/
/Tales+from+a+gaybar+three/text/5689290
/Tales+from+a+gaybar+iv/text/5689632/
/Tales+from+a+gaybar+5+humanity+edition/text/5690287/
#73 - KievLeviathan (09/19/2015) [-]
this was wild
tell me more
User avatar #69 - machiavellianhumor (09/19/2015) [-]
this was so homo
#29 - anon (09/18/2015) [-]
*roll 100, pokemon*
User avatar #27 - joekerr (09/18/2015) [-]
WAIT YOU ******* GOT AIDS?
User avatar #46 to #27 - evilanakie [OP]ONLINE (09/19/2015) [-]
dont have aids
User avatar #52 to #46 - joekerr (09/19/2015) [-]
Cause that's what that last paragraph implies. Could you edit the happy end into there?
User avatar #53 to #52 - evilanakie [OP]ONLINE (09/19/2015) [-]
no
User avatar #55 to #53 - joekerr (09/19/2015) [-]
Ofc you can, you lazy faggot. "Op is a faggot" ain't a real insult in this case, huh ^^
User avatar #26 - joekerr (09/18/2015) [-]
This was a good funny read.

Straights aren't welcome over there, huh?

Also, are any straights working over there at your place? A pal of me told me a gay bar's the best thing for a dude to work at, as that's where you get tips like the chicks normally do.
User avatar #41 to #26 - evilanakie [OP]ONLINE (09/19/2015) [-]
there are a lot of gay for pay at work
and pink panthers for days
User avatar #47 to #41 - joekerr (09/19/2015) [-]
What does pink panther mean?
User avatar #48 to #47 - evilanakie [OP]ONLINE (09/19/2015) [-]
straight guy in a gay bar
User avatar #25 - indecisivejew (09/18/2015) [-]
"never **** a stranger kids"

Well you certainly won't be hearing that problem from me.
[ 87 comments ]
Leave a comment
 Friends (0)