tales from a gaybar 5 humanity edition

evilanakie

more homo? more homo
a lot of you seem to think that the bar is a terrible place, well you arent wrong
but some of the things the homos do just light up my heart
and my penis

so one of the worker bees had found out his wife was prego and he had to quit
instead of just cutting ties we gathered baby clothes blankets food tickets did a donation bin
his son is now 3 and the worker bee has started working here again and often shows pics of the kid playing and wearing the clothes

a queen missed her flight so the boss brought a car around and we manually drove her to the next gig

at the beach party we have (which i could do a whole tales from a beach party on)
playing splishy splashy for the camera
notice this one kid kinda dog paddling about
having a laugh
suddenly waves
kid is washed out into the middle of the water in an instant
gather the life raft which we were just using for photos
paddle our asses out there
by the time we get out there there is already the fattest bear there
is he a ******* whale
eat camp fire sausages and make ****** sex puns the rest of the night

charity drive outside the bar
santa hoe hoe hoing
little kid comes up and puts a 50 in his pants
the kids parents are trying to hide laughter

we had to help deliver a baby once
why a pregnant lesbian couple were in the bar i have no idea
but that was weird
i helped by mopping up lady juices off the pool hall

photo shoot for promos
models getting hit on over and over
just ignoring it
after the gig
model is getting hit on by a customer
the model is obviously throwing up flags
come over
the customer has a knife
call over a bunch of queens
they kick his ass

we frequently help out with homeless youth because the local salvos only help hetros
we also run a school based fund where we pay for LGBT books to be put into schools to help educate kids that gay is ok and maybe you are trans and heres some help with that kinda things
i went to my highschool and saw there was a small lgbt section that had one book and thought this wasnt right
so i got the boys from work to help out
now the lgbt section has more books than the language section
and 48 out of 570 kids have come out as gay lesbian trans or gender fluid (i dont get it but im not going to deny it)

my story
so after working at the bar for a few months i decided to come out to my mother i was trans and gay
they didnt like that
kicked out of homo
live at bar for a while
they help me find an apartment
help out by giving me wages of $250 a week + what ever tips and extra jobs i do
help out with teaching me how to cook
how to balance a budget
how to fix a washing machine
the queers taught be how to be a man
all my mother taught me is to be a basement dwelling *******

+50 for more homo
links in desc
so will mention list

+366

Views:	22948
Favorited:	16
Submitted:	09/20/2015

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+92

#9 - HAMMATIMEZ (09/20/2015) [-]

"Kicked out of homo"

-18

#47 to #9 - anon (09/21/2015) [-]

I stopped reading this after the first one. The grammar and structure is just to poor. Maybe someone could do us all a solid and rewrite this tripe.

#50 to #47 - hitlerwasokiguess (09/22/2015) [-]

Oh, the irony of you using the wrong "too".

#52 to #47 - killerliquid (09/26/2015) [-]

>being uptight on a site where you're supposed to cut loose
**** outta here

+37

#12 - bemmo (09/20/2015) [-]

Just thinking on a tangent to the content, it occurs to me that I'd be able to take gender fluid people much more seriously if what they meant was "I don't identify massively in either direction; I'm alright in my current body but I wouldn't be fussed if I woke up as the opposite sex one morning" rather than what tumblr appears to be attempting to sell; "I'm a girl today, but yesterday I was a boy, lol I dunno, depends on how I'm feeling". Neural circuitry doesn't rewire itself that quickly.

But yeah, I can accept the gender getting wired for a body the owner isn't using (trans), so a gender fluid person where the gender getting partly wired for the wrong body but never getting completely unwired for the correct body either isn't too hard a step to make.
For the love of God don't tell tumblr I said gender fluid people are half-finished trans people.

#35 to #12 - zerocalibre (09/20/2015) [-]

Gender fluid doesn't have really any scientific basis. It's sort of an invented term to just mean you're a girl who occasionally likes boy things or a boy who occasionally likes girl things.

If you were really gender fluid...that would mean your brain would be in a constant flux between being structurally male and structurally female adapting day to day...and that doesn't happen.

#37 to #35 - bemmo (09/20/2015) [-]

You only seem to have read part of my comment. Either that or you just felt like rewording bits of it.

Anyway, ********** as the origin of the term may be, my point was that if it was used as a not-to-be-taken-100%-literally-sort-of-a-misnomer phrase to mean the alternative situation I described less fluid flip-flopping between genders, more solidly sitting in a state accepting of both body sexes then it may not be completely invalid.

#38 to #37 - zerocalibre (09/20/2015) [-]

Sorry. I'm absolutely exhausted...I was up almost all night. You're correct...I skimmed your comment then totally forgot what it said.

#39 to #38 - bemmo (09/20/2015) [-]

Heh, no problem, sleep deprivation gets the best of all of us.

#36 to #35 - zerocalibre (09/20/2015) [-]

AKA, ignore tumblr. ;D

#51 to #35 - daentraya (09/23/2015) [-]

idunno about actual basis, but i think sociopaths may have way less gender identification than normal, as part of the various peculiarities that might be awry with their neural circuitry

-1

#45 to #35 - Johnsfer (09/21/2015) [-]

Thats not called gender fluid, thats a mental disorder and you should probably see an expert or someone about that.

-1

#46 to #45 - zerocalibre (09/21/2015) [-]

What are you talking about? Gender fluid isn't even real.

#15 to #12 - evilanakie [OP]ONLINE (09/20/2015) [-]

trans man here
i think there are three options
man woman androgynous
choose one
born:man woman intersex
identify: man woman androgynous

+12

#4 - kytonlord ONLINE (09/20/2015) [-]

#1 - evilanakie [OP]ONLINE (09/20/2015) [-]

LINKS
/Tales+from+a+gaybar/text/5688477/
/Tales+from+a+gaybar+2+electric+boogaloo/text/5688674/
/Tales+from+a+gaybar+three/text/5689290
/Tales+from+a+gaybar+iv/text/5689632/

MENTION LIST
bewailedbadger theshinypen tsnkami turtlepyro yellowizard draaaaiven liamjamse kytonlord shumdek sonsofsol

#22 to #1 - dierdred (09/20/2015) [-]

sure, add me, this **** is awesome.

#23 to #1 - newepic (09/20/2015) [-]

add me to mention list please

#26 to #1 - EaTroFKITTENS (09/20/2015) [-]

#48 to #1 - feedtehtrollz (09/21/2015) [-]

I require a mention please

#5 to #1 - shuckmywang (09/20/2015) [-]

add me to mentions please

#7 to #1 - zoroso (09/20/2015) [-]

mention

#11 to #1 - hypex (09/20/2015) [-]

add me faggot <3

#32 to #1 - Einsty (09/20/2015) [-]

sign me up for more homo

#34 to #1 - jakotad (09/20/2015) [-]

Mention me if there's more, please.

#40 to #1 - zancal (09/20/2015) [-]

mention me please

#41 to #1 - spacexplain (09/20/2015) [-]

Mention pls, I like this.

#42 to #1 - brotein (09/21/2015) [-]

Add me to the list please I love these ^~^

#43 to #1 - mreggsalad (09/21/2015) [-]

Add me to the mentions please

#16 to #1 - sengo (09/20/2015) [-]

add me

#13 to #1 - wiewatwaar (09/20/2015) [-]

If more, can I get a mention?

#30 to #1 - thimmiee (09/20/2015) [-]

mention

#8 to #1 - noisecontrollers (09/20/2015) [-]

Mention me too, please.

#29 to #1 - bookieblaster (09/20/2015) [-]

may I please be added to the mention list
Im enjoying the series

#6 to #1 - amonlavtar ONLINE (09/20/2015) [-]

I would like a mention too, please

#28 to #1 - pancakeluchadore (09/20/2015) [-]

Me too pls!

#2 to #1 - derpwolf (09/20/2015) [-]

Mention me too!

#3 to #2 - evilanakie [OP]ONLINE (09/20/2015) [-]

#27 to #1 - Amaquelin ONLINE (09/20/2015) [-]

i'd love to be mentioned too

#49 to #1 - houseofbrick (09/21/2015) [-]

please add me to mentions, these are way too good

#31 - streetshark (09/20/2015) [-]

I dunno if hailing the LGBT Book section having more books than the language section is a good thing. But I mean it doesn't really matter. More books.

no hurt plz. im gay too

#10 - greatsofa (09/20/2015) [-]

It's nice to know we've got big gay angels helping the needy
once again love the stories!

#17 - goodguygary (09/20/2015) [-]

wow this is the gayest **** i have EVER read.
10/10 pinkied and subscribbled, i love these stories.
also can we see what that red leather recliner looks like?

#18 to #17 - evilanakie [OP]ONLINE (09/20/2015) [-]

im sitting in it and cbf getting up to take a pic

#19 to #18 - goodguygary (09/20/2015) [-]

i don't mean right god-damn diddly now, just throw me a pic of it when you can be assed

#20 to #19 - evilanakie [OP]ONLINE (09/20/2015) [-]

fine i will

#24 to #20 - goobyman (09/20/2015) [-]

i'll also be waiting

#21 to #20 - goodguygary (09/20/2015) [-]

fine, I'll be waiting for it

#63 - spamzor (10/21/2015) [-]

"the queers taught be how to be a man
all my mother taught me is to be a basement dwelling ******* "

That's... strangely familiar.
I wonder how many others would say the same.

#53 - thirdjess ONLINE (09/26/2015) [-]

Hey I hope you don't mind me asking: I'm Australian, but my best bud in the world is a ftm like yourself, living in SF. Obviously surgery over there is ridiculously ******* expensive. I was wondering what you knew about it? Cause I've read that you've gotten top n bottom surgery.

#54 to #53 - thirdjess ONLINE (09/26/2015) [-]

Uh, I can't words. Let me clarify: I was wondering what you knew about trans surgery in Australia. He's currently on testosterone, for about five or so months now.

#55 to #53 - evilanakie [OP]ONLINE (09/26/2015) [-]

im pre T pre op
i have a prosthetic
bottom surgery in its current state is ******* gross
BUT they are coming up with a new one soon for FTMs
cause currently they just **** up a phaleoplasty made for men and they wing it

#56 to #55 - thirdjess ONLINE (09/26/2015) [-]

I've seen a documentary about it, and it seemed really weird to me that they basically have to use a dick colostomy bag to get an erection. Surely there's better ways than that.

#57 to #56 - evilanakie [OP]ONLINE (09/26/2015) [-]

there is, they are trialing a new surgery

#58 to #57 - thirdjess ONLINE (09/26/2015) [-]

That's good, does it involve blood or something synthetic?

#59 to #58 - evilanakie [OP]ONLINE (09/26/2015) [-]

synthetic
its a rod inserted into the phaleoplasty
it will alow you to pee and get hard

#60 to #59 - thirdjess ONLINE (09/26/2015) [-]

And how does it go from soft to hard?

#61 to #60 - evilanakie [OP]ONLINE (09/26/2015) [-]

flexable rod

#62 to #61 - thirdjess ONLINE (09/26/2015) [-]

I googled it and lol, it's like a twist tie. That's not that great either, imo. The technology will get better.

#44 - supercookieduster (09/21/2015) [-]

#33 - fitemeirlbro (09/20/2015) [-]

My mom forced me to go to a thrift store for lgbt youth it was pretty meh didn't have much good stuff videogames there were some weird people but the worst part was the bdsm leather shop with the weird fetish Roman centurion mannequin in the same building

#25 - anon Comment deleted by evilanakie [-]