tales from a gaybar 2:electric boogaloo
seeing the first tales from a gaybar (/Tales+from+a+gaybar/text/5688477/) was so successful ive decided to give more tales
be working like usual cutting some limes
cutting limes like a ************
oh boy limes get cut when i cut limes
juice gets on customers shirt
they demand i pay for the shirt
start demanding insane prices saying they imported it
for a shirt... worst of all its one of those nasty ones from target
nice one
be sitting on couches enjoying some nice david bowie covers
theres never a ******* quiet moment is there
"AY COME QUICK BRING THE MOPS"
someones dumped cum lube all through the red room
the entire floor is covered in fake semen
its dripping everywhere also the faint smell of poppers from previous days
i ******* hate poppers
spend 3 hours mopping up lube for the guy who runs the bar to stumble in drunk and dump a pile of change in my pants
total earnings for cleaning up 55 gallons of cumlube
28$ AUD
fill esky with ice
move barrels of beer about
doing **** the barback should be doing
notice theres a pile of dead boxes
go to check crush and dump boxes outside near the bins
carrying quite a few kilos of boxes out the back
go to open the dumpster
about five people ******* like the world was going to end
desperate humping and awkward thrusting
the most layed on moans ive ever heard in my life
**** this im going back inside
have my own little dance mix
DJing for a while
some twinky faggot dj comes and "bumps" my gear
rips cords
great now the sound comes out ****** if i dont hold it exactly in place
use this new sound ****** to live mix the track
get the most tips that night
**** you twinky faggots always breaking ****
seeing its a gay bar its always hilarious when we get a new bartender who thinks he can handle himself
"nah ill be alright ive done bars before i have my licence ill be fine"
ontop of fancy girly drink orders that are impossible to make
the new tender had to deal with drunk gay guys
drunk gays get feely quick
the tender is having his beard molested by a twinky faggot (always the ******* twinky faggots)
he looks to me with the eyes of a dying man
grab handful of ice
down mr touchys pants
drops to floor
we kinda mush him towards the exit and whistle for a door man
thats another thing
IF YOU GO TO A GAY BAR WITH A WHISTLE I WILL JAM IT DOWN YOUR ******* THROAT
it doesnt matter what bar
ill be there
and ill ******* kill you
these assholes bring rape whistles to the bar
but not as a warning
as a ******* invitation
queen forgets to untuck one night
out of geish just here for a drink
drunk feeler comes up and starts groping around
cant find any dick to grab
"whered you go mr winky"
im losing my ****
the queen is losing his ****
"whered the penis go"
i almost felt bad for this poor homo as i was escorting him out
big ass sign "NO DRINKS ON DANCE FLOOR"
no homo follows the rules
one night hear the manditory smash of a glass
on the dance floor
**** this
its almost closing anyway 10 mins off right always this ****
some dick head was on the floor with no shoes
if i ever saw him id make him eat the glass
how did i know
bloody foot prints through out the place
this ************ walked his ass from the floor to the pick up to the bathroom to the bar and back to the floor before out the fire escape
**** you guy
cleaning up one night
find bag of coke and a tray of poppers under the couch with a knife
report that **** to the boss man
straight into the dumpster
(might explain the orgy...)
i swear gays go to poppers like cats go to nip
getting head from one of the dancers
little tip kids
NEVER GET BUBBLEGUM FLAVORED CONDOMS
have a boyfriend
he is a worker bee
open relationship
the amount of times ive had to save that faggot
i drew the line when i saw him in the red room getting a prince albert done
left his ass
next day dick pics on the main screen
jokes on him everyone knows what my dick looks like anyway and now you have no job
go back to walking dogs you twinky ****
if you use grindr, growlr, scruff or any of that at the bar
i hate you and you are destroying the bar scene
if you use flash cams i hate you just in general
we recently got this great new lighting set up
problem is there is a black light
i feel sick every time it pulses and i see the glowing mess that is the dance floor and the dancers
i feel like every pulse of light exposes the plague stains
i use it to help clean up after closing
past closing time
mopping the floor in the mens room
hear soft noise
what is that
it sounds like a metalic shuffle
is a animal stuck in the vents
nope
some kid on ecstasy has crawled into the vent and got stuck
damn it
watching the boys dance
leather night
always fun
tall guy kinda cute got the virgin walk going on
walks in
nervously asks for a beer
the bartender now broken from all the molestation and girly drinks laughs
poor a glass
the nervous kid is sipping away
sipping
i cant help myself
"hey havent seen your face around here whats up"
"oh uh im ok i just turned 18 (legal in aus)"
bingo
"so first time in a big mean gay bar huh"
"y-yeah"
i point out the main attractions
"wow that seems rather lewd"
oh no he is a tumblr gay
i direct him towards the red room
10 mins pass
20 mins pass
oh boy this kids probably having the time of his life
kid escapes room fairly happy
the red room boys look confused
turns out they just played poker and talked about anime
this kid has infinite levels of virginity and i love him
NO one i know can enter the red room with out popping some cherry
helping set up a special event in red room
candles flowers soft music
some fancy couple want a romantic s&m experience
set everything up to their requests
they come in
the lock the door
leave
pay
tip me heavily yes!
look in room
oh god there is **** everywhere
literally ****
mask on and i just hose it
im glad we installed floor drains so i can just hose the room down now because **** that
bicurious guy comes in
always fun
start ******* around with him
it turns out he has no ideas how homosexuals intercourse
everyone at the bar becomes a hive mind of *******
start going into detail about how you start with some light jerking off
and how the "bottom" will invert his penis (a drag queen shows him their tuck, which is never nice)
the kid has this look of awe and horror as we detail docking and fisting events
not actual gay techniques just really out there ones
turns out the kid went and danced, found a partner and tried flipping his dick inside out to the partners confusion and delight
kid returns frequently
i tell him about how i was ******* around
"wait what"
the kid was actually somehow flipping his dick inside out
he ******* shows me
**** my life
go to bathroom
stalls filled
take piss in the broken urinal
aiming better than usual
cunt walks in
vaguely pisses everywhere
leaves
no hands
no nothing
just kinda stands near the urinal and pisses
god damn it
30+ for more homo
be working like usual cutting some limes
cutting limes like a ************
oh boy limes get cut when i cut limes
juice gets on customers shirt
they demand i pay for the shirt
start demanding insane prices saying they imported it
for a shirt... worst of all its one of those nasty ones from target
nice one
be sitting on couches enjoying some nice david bowie covers
theres never a ******* quiet moment is there
"AY COME QUICK BRING THE MOPS"
someones dumped cum lube all through the red room
the entire floor is covered in fake semen
its dripping everywhere also the faint smell of poppers from previous days
i ******* hate poppers
spend 3 hours mopping up lube for the guy who runs the bar to stumble in drunk and dump a pile of change in my pants
total earnings for cleaning up 55 gallons of cumlube
28$ AUD
fill esky with ice
move barrels of beer about
doing **** the barback should be doing
notice theres a pile of dead boxes
go to check crush and dump boxes outside near the bins
carrying quite a few kilos of boxes out the back
go to open the dumpster
about five people ******* like the world was going to end
desperate humping and awkward thrusting
the most layed on moans ive ever heard in my life
**** this im going back inside
have my own little dance mix
DJing for a while
some twinky faggot dj comes and "bumps" my gear
rips cords
great now the sound comes out ****** if i dont hold it exactly in place
use this new sound ****** to live mix the track
get the most tips that night
**** you twinky faggots always breaking ****
seeing its a gay bar its always hilarious when we get a new bartender who thinks he can handle himself
"nah ill be alright ive done bars before i have my licence ill be fine"
ontop of fancy girly drink orders that are impossible to make
the new tender had to deal with drunk gay guys
drunk gays get feely quick
the tender is having his beard molested by a twinky faggot (always the ******* twinky faggots)
he looks to me with the eyes of a dying man
grab handful of ice
down mr touchys pants
drops to floor
we kinda mush him towards the exit and whistle for a door man
thats another thing
IF YOU GO TO A GAY BAR WITH A WHISTLE I WILL JAM IT DOWN YOUR ******* THROAT
it doesnt matter what bar
ill be there
and ill ******* kill you
these assholes bring rape whistles to the bar
but not as a warning
as a ******* invitation
queen forgets to untuck one night
out of geish just here for a drink
drunk feeler comes up and starts groping around
cant find any dick to grab
"whered you go mr winky"
im losing my ****
the queen is losing his ****
"whered the penis go"
i almost felt bad for this poor homo as i was escorting him out
big ass sign "NO DRINKS ON DANCE FLOOR"
no homo follows the rules
one night hear the manditory smash of a glass
on the dance floor
**** this
its almost closing anyway 10 mins off right always this ****
some dick head was on the floor with no shoes
if i ever saw him id make him eat the glass
how did i know
bloody foot prints through out the place
this ************ walked his ass from the floor to the pick up to the bathroom to the bar and back to the floor before out the fire escape
**** you guy
cleaning up one night
find bag of coke and a tray of poppers under the couch with a knife
report that **** to the boss man
straight into the dumpster
(might explain the orgy...)
i swear gays go to poppers like cats go to nip
getting head from one of the dancers
little tip kids
NEVER GET BUBBLEGUM FLAVORED CONDOMS
have a boyfriend
he is a worker bee
open relationship
the amount of times ive had to save that faggot
i drew the line when i saw him in the red room getting a prince albert done
left his ass
next day dick pics on the main screen
jokes on him everyone knows what my dick looks like anyway and now you have no job
go back to walking dogs you twinky ****
if you use grindr, growlr, scruff or any of that at the bar
i hate you and you are destroying the bar scene
if you use flash cams i hate you just in general
we recently got this great new lighting set up
problem is there is a black light
i feel sick every time it pulses and i see the glowing mess that is the dance floor and the dancers
i feel like every pulse of light exposes the plague stains
i use it to help clean up after closing
past closing time
mopping the floor in the mens room
hear soft noise
what is that
it sounds like a metalic shuffle
is a animal stuck in the vents
nope
some kid on ecstasy has crawled into the vent and got stuck
damn it
watching the boys dance
leather night
always fun
tall guy kinda cute got the virgin walk going on
walks in
nervously asks for a beer
the bartender now broken from all the molestation and girly drinks laughs
poor a glass
the nervous kid is sipping away
sipping
i cant help myself
"hey havent seen your face around here whats up"
"oh uh im ok i just turned 18 (legal in aus)"
bingo
"so first time in a big mean gay bar huh"
"y-yeah"
i point out the main attractions
"wow that seems rather lewd"
oh no he is a tumblr gay
i direct him towards the red room
10 mins pass
20 mins pass
oh boy this kids probably having the time of his life
kid escapes room fairly happy
the red room boys look confused
turns out they just played poker and talked about anime
this kid has infinite levels of virginity and i love him
NO one i know can enter the red room with out popping some cherry
helping set up a special event in red room
candles flowers soft music
some fancy couple want a romantic s&m experience
set everything up to their requests
they come in
the lock the door
leave
pay
tip me heavily yes!
look in room
oh god there is **** everywhere
literally ****
mask on and i just hose it
im glad we installed floor drains so i can just hose the room down now because **** that
bicurious guy comes in
always fun
start ******* around with him
it turns out he has no ideas how homosexuals intercourse
everyone at the bar becomes a hive mind of *******
start going into detail about how you start with some light jerking off
and how the "bottom" will invert his penis (a drag queen shows him their tuck, which is never nice)
the kid has this look of awe and horror as we detail docking and fisting events
not actual gay techniques just really out there ones
turns out the kid went and danced, found a partner and tried flipping his dick inside out to the partners confusion and delight
kid returns frequently
i tell him about how i was ******* around
"wait what"
the kid was actually somehow flipping his dick inside out
he ******* shows me
**** my life
go to bathroom
stalls filled
take piss in the broken urinal
aiming better than usual
cunt walks in
vaguely pisses everywhere
leaves
no hands
no nothing
just kinda stands near the urinal and pisses
god damn it
30+ for more homo
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