tales from a gay bar fuck bathrooms edit

evilanakie

more homo
ive noticed a trend, yall like the bathroom stories best
so heres some

walk into bathroom
see guy shooting heroin into a passed out kid, couldnt of been legal kinda kid
drag his ass to the police station manually
call ambos for kid
the kid died

walk into bathroom
two people having a fight
i try break it up
they say im ruining the fantasy
it doesnt matter youre ruining my bathroom

walk into bathroom
someones using stall 1
go to stall 2
someone is sucking stall 1s dick
go to stall 3
missing toilet
why

go into bathroom
i had forgotten to take the cleaning products back to the storage
bunch of homos pooring ducclean over themselves
leave bathroom

sitting on toilet
look up
on the roof
a note
"hello"
...

go to bathroom for complaints of ghost
its a kid jerking it in the vent again
why do all the kids go to the vent i dont get it

end of night
cleaning bathroom
no matter how hard you scrub it will always smell like piss and semen
basicly hmm how can i explain the smell ok neckbeards sniff your old crusty bed sheets and double the stank
open vent
dildo covered in ****
get my trusty nasty thing claw
pick up dildo with the claw
it slips and falls down a small vent shaft

in bathroom
see graffiti
i used to clean the scrawling off regularly but i thought eventually they will run out of space
"i am here"
"look left" you look left "look right" toilet tennis
"LOOK MA IM ON TV"
*various phone numbers*
a line counter for the glory hole
look at one fresh looking one
"dont sit down i have crabs sorry"
you ******
check for crabs that night at home
none
eucalyptus bath and shave pubes anyway
i hate shaving pubes i get ingrowns and i end up with little scars and if i get to many it will look like herpes
any tips on that

go to bathroom
hear gurgling
someones ducking a twinks head in toilet
"yall alright, clean up afterwards ok?"
"yeah"
leave bathroom
they didnt clean up afterwards
worth a shot i suppose

mopping bathroom emergency call for a clean up after jager hulk decided to helicopter puke everywhere
hear some sweet jams outside
slip on the wet floor
smack head into the urinal
pass out on urinal
wake up about 2 hours later on the bed in the red room with my boss smoking cigars
he brought me into the red so i dont get raped or some ****
boss and i just lay in bed for a while talking about how ****** up the bar is
he is stroking my hair
feels good man
end up going to sleep next to the boss
wake up in the morning to him sleeping next to me
not all gays are evil guys

getting pissed in bathroom with some of the worker bees while they smoke pot
boss hates pot
hear boss
oh ****
hide in vent
boss comes in and lectures the worker bees
stay in vent for a while
climb out
nooow i know why so many fucc boys hide in the vent

i keep requesting we turn the bathroom into a hose-able room but the boss wont have it
tell him to try clean it
he tried so hard
we turned the bathroom into a hoseable room also replaced the urinals with a piss wall
we thought this would be a good choice
still not good... but not as bad

100+ for more homo maybe more themed stories
maybe some lime based stories
cause i do that a lot
**** limes
you know the drill
mentions and links will pthphhtphp

+635

Views:	31257
Favorited:	29
Submitted:	09/22/2015

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[ 116 comments ]

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+48

#19 - ubercookieboy ONLINE (09/22/2015) [-]

Click to show spoiler

Good to know my fellow homos are still classy as always.

MFW your customers

#44 to #19 - arreatface (09/22/2015) [-]

every time someone talks about his sexual orientation on this site I find myself wondering

Are peaches and apricots the same fruit ? If not, why would someone lead the entire humanity in thinking that is the case ??

these are the questions that keep me up at night

+14

#31 to #19 - ironsoul (09/22/2015) [-]

I completely agree. I am bisexual and these wierdos have me completely rethinking it.

+80

#8 - comicironic (09/22/2015) [-]

That got sad really quickly.

But then a twink got a swirly and it was k.

+14

#34 - omegafriend ONLINE (09/22/2015) [-]

"YOURE RUINING THE FANTASY!"
These are great

+14

#15 - greatsofa (09/22/2015) [-]

For the ingrown hairs, you have to be really gentle with that area of your body, everything is mega sensitive down there, so you want to be preventing them as opposed to removing them. When you do shave everything plucked chicken style, don't shave again for a while, give the hair a chance to grow back for maybe 2 weeks before completely shaving again or it could irritate the skin. Try shaving in the direction the hair is growing as opposed to 'against the grain' - it takes much longer but you don't piss it off as much. You definitely want to moisturise around the entire area after shaving to keep it all smooth. Also invest in a good razor.

Or, failing all that just get back sack and crack waxed.

#27 to #15 - nyxeos (09/22/2015) [-]

Just to add to that, it can help if you soak in hot water beforehand for a few minutes. It's best not to try removing ingrown hairs since that can lead to infection, but you can try using a gentle exfoliate if they're really bugging you. If your hair is particularly long before shaving, trim it down first. Make sure to pull the skin tight where possible. Conditioner can be used to soften coarse hair before shaving, baby oil can be used after to prevent pimples and aloe vera can be used to reduce inflammation should you piss it off. Along with a good razor (preferably not electric or disposable, and preferably with a good moisturizing strip), use good shaving cream that is mild and non-perfumed. Your razor should be sharp enough that you do not have to apply pressure.

#49 to #27 - anon (09/23/2015) [-]

Being a stripper, it's pretty standard to be clean shaven around your genitals. I have very sensitive skin, but have found that the more often you shave, the less sensitive the area gets. Kind of like how your hands and feet grow calluses in response to repetitive friction... but without the calluses.

+33

#26 - lean (09/22/2015) [-]

So apparently gays are disgusting, and it turns out it has nothing to do with the whole bible thing.
Who hides a **** covered dildo in a public bathroom?

#113 to #26 - anon (09/24/2015) [-]

Name one drug-filled rave strip club that isn't disgusting. You're seeing THAT side of things.

#54 to #26 - thunderfap (09/23/2015) [-]

Who's gross enough to have their dildo covered in **** ?

#76 to #54 - anon (09/23/2015) [-]

**** happens

#46 to #26 - anon (09/22/2015) [-]

Repressed Australian bogan gays.

#53 to #26 - singerinthesoundle (09/23/2015) [-]

Well the thing is this guy must work for a pretty messed up bar, I can vouch since I am gay and I go to gay bars every other weekend and for the most part its normal to any bar, there are fights sometimes and the occasional weird **** but you can find that at any bar. except for drag queens and trannies they mostly stick around those bars. Visit and actual gay bar and you will see that its normal for the most part and he probably just highlights the ****** up **** because its interesting to people.

#6 - evilanakie [OP]ONLINE (09/22/2015) [-]

LINKS
/Dick+tionary/text/5692261/
/Tales+from+a+gaybar/text/5688477/
/Tales+from+a+gaybar+2+electric+boogaloo/text/5688674/
/Tales+from+a+gaybar+three/text/5689290
/Tales+from+a+gaybar+iv/text/5689632/
/Tales+from+a+gaybar+5+humanity+edition/text/5690287/
/Tales+from+a+gaybar+6/text/5690429/
/Tales+from+a+gay+bar+steven/text/5691280/
/Tales+from+a+gaybar+8/text/5692241/

MENTION LIST
bewailedbadger casualtyivvii megakille mokirak ragingcajun theshinypen tsnkami turtlepyro yellowizard draaaaiven liamjamse kytonlord shumdek sonsofsol hypex
noisecontrollers zoroso shuckmywang derpwolf goobyman
ironsoul houseofbrick baeloth feedtehtrollz mreggsalad brotein aadenoto casualtyivvii ivanfreak kangaroorat mechanicexplain epicactual michaeljones kikisu- bohemianblasphemy fresighto alienxplain princessheather therealgambit nerdreaper gohex khaoticonefear khaoticonefear froot shadovfox thatsovietguyisme comicironic mikethemerciless spacexplain zancal jakotad Einsty thimmiee bookieblaster pancakeluchadore - Amaquelin - EaTroFKITTENS newepic- dierdred sengo wiewatwaar loltrosity poorpup shadowblaziard kytonlord
that one anon who wanted a mention fruhest noxxx
you know the subscriptions work right

#28 to #6 - fresighto (09/22/2015) [-]

Bruh. Need more limes In muh ******* life. Not my ass tho. Just my life.

Probably.
Yea, that might. Burn

You should do a lime comp. Not lime stories, just a bunch of pictures of limes and a few of you cutting them in spectacular fashion.

#63 to #28 - evilanakie [OP]ONLINE (09/23/2015) [-]

you ruined my ******* plot
also if you do insert these comps in yo booty hole
discontinue use if you notice slight irritation and seek medical attention immediately

#29 to #6 - esheter ONLINE (09/22/2015) [-]

mention pls

#30 to #6 - classydancingrobot ONLINE (09/22/2015) [-]

Mention me hard, honeybu

#37 to #6 - skullington (09/22/2015) [-]

Can you mention me next time there's anything

#38 to #6 - epodax (09/22/2015) [-]

must.. have more... gayness.

#39 to #6 - liquidvoodoo (09/22/2015) [-]

Mention meeeee.

#106 to #6 - bluslenderman (09/23/2015) [-]

add me fam

#61 to #6 - shiphotel ONLINE (09/23/2015) [-]

#65 to #6 - kakemckake (09/23/2015) [-]

mention pl0x? I've been really enjoying these

#68 to #6 - spooooce (09/23/2015) [-]

I gotta be on the mention list. Need moar.

#74 to #6 - anarchyamongants (09/23/2015) [-]

Fill me up with more of 'em gays!

#78 to #6 - ryuggu (09/23/2015) [-]

mention please

#99 to #6 - daentraya (09/23/2015) [-]

fukken sign me up mate

#104 to #6 - halefall (09/23/2015) [-]

Please add me to the mentions thank you

#25 to #6 - silvanyis (09/22/2015) [-]

Can has mention? Please and thank you sweetie!

#16 to #6 - xaja ONLINE (09/22/2015) [-]

Yo hmu on that mention list bby

#40 to #6 - gjtz (09/22/2015) [-]

I've died of laughter from every one of these. Please add me to the list.

#35 to #6 - thisnick (09/22/2015) [-]

Mention me in the dark with a whisper

#13 - hypex (09/22/2015) [-]

#14 to #13 - evilanakie [OP]ONLINE (09/22/2015) [-]

man molesting
i dont like people who look under 25

#32 to #14 - ironsoul (09/22/2015) [-]

YFW

#60 - teamrocketninja (09/23/2015) [-]

#58 - theXsjados ONLINE (09/23/2015) [-]

For the ingrown hairs.

Get a decent depilatory, aka hair removal cream. Once every so often when I feel like manscaping I get something rated for the bikini line for women, as long as you get unscented no one will know the difference.

TEST IT FIRST; choose a spot where your hair is thicker than the rest of your arm/leg hair. Add a bit of the cream, follow instructions, and make sure you don't get a rash, if you do ABORT. You're stuck shaving. No rash means step two of testing; choose a new area and GLOP it on. I go through 1/2 bottle at a time for my entire pubic hair area (pubes, balls, surrounding anus area, and some inner thigh). Wait the instructed time period, and if you rash ABORT. No rash, no abort; step three testing now. Go for the pubes, GOLP IT ON THE EDGE of your pubic hair zone and leave it 1-2 minute more than suggested sit time. If you rash ABORT. Back to shaving, no rash no abort.

If you pass the testing phase then GLOP it on EVERYTHING and let sit for 1-2 more minutes longer than suggested sit time; add more as needed provided you do NOT rash. The product I use causes burning to the anus if you want to manscape that zone, but everything else is basically no burn. Even what goes on downunder isn't that bad of a burn if you past the three testing phases.

You will be baby smooth with virtually no effort (slather and scrape during your normal shower); and the hair takes SIGNIFICANTLY longer to grow back, and the best part is ZERO itching, ZERO burning, ZERO bumps; even as the hair grows back in.

Results and mileage will vary. ALWAY GO THROUGH THE TESTING PHASE FIRST.
Depilatories work on the proteins that make up our hair, but these same proteins exist in our skin. IF YOU JUST SLATHER IT ON WITHOUT TESTING YOU MAY BE IN FOR A WORLD OF PAIN.

The link is to the product I use. www.walgreens.com/store/c/veet-hair-remover-fast-acting-gel-cream-sensitive-skin-formula/ID=prod3946375-product

#42 - aceshot (09/22/2015) [-]

The sad part is that with being gay, I have to realize that the majority if the gay population are these disgusting, sex and drug driven degenerates. Completely shameful.

#69 to #42 - anon (09/23/2015) [-]

But, they're not.
And weird/gross **** happens in regular bars/clubs.
Drunk people do gross **** .

#45 to #42 - anon (09/22/2015) [-]

Or you simply don't meet that many obvious gay people because they refuse associate with those kind of pervs?
It's not like every gay person flaunts their gay around

#17 - anythingoes (09/22/2015) [-]

> Hey boss, **** is nasty. We should change it to this.
> No.
> For real. You try cleaning that **** .
> Alright. ...................... Ok. You're right. **** that. Let's change it.

Your boss is chill as **** .

#18 to #17 - evilanakie [OP]ONLINE (09/22/2015) [-]

he is

#43 - arreatface (09/22/2015) [-]

"go to bathroom
hear gurgling "

10 ******* 10

#107 - newprinny ONLINE (09/23/2015) [-]

Boss' face when he realizes his gay bar is full of a bunch of ******* weirdos, dood.

#109 to #107 - evilanakie [OP]ONLINE (09/23/2015) [-]

we had a cosplay night
i ended up ******* the big boss cosplay
i was in a kaz cosplay

#110 to #109 - newprinny ONLINE (09/23/2015) [-]

>not cosplaying as Ocelot to go with my OTP
You're ruining my fantasy, dood

#111 to #110 - evilanakie [OP]ONLINE (09/23/2015) [-]

ocelot is my otp
but i cant pull off mustaches
plus glasses hide how **** faced you are

-1

#97 - megamolester ONLINE (09/23/2015) [-]

I like to imagine that one of the vent-wankers is a regular on FJ who's reading your stories, evilanakie and realising that he's done something bad, but not the worst. It wasn't me.

#98 to #97 - evilanakie [OP]ONLINE (09/23/2015) [-]

#75 - jjamesgordon (09/23/2015) [-]

Yo. Pro-tip for the pube problems. If you have to shave for whatever reason, firstly, using a conditioner before applying shaving cream, or just using hair conditioner as the shaving lubricant period can help. Afterward, and this is the painful part, a good exfoliation and a swipe of lemon juice all but guarantees no ingrowns.

#115 to #75 - thirdjess ONLINE (09/26/2015) [-]

I was gonna suggest exfoliation as well. Used to get mad ingrowns cause I use an epilator.

#56 - asotil (09/23/2015) [-]

>replaced the urinals with a piss wall

*******
Wat

#59 to #56 - theXsjados ONLINE (09/23/2015) [-]

Instead of 3-5 independent urinal units on the wall they probably installed a trough like drainage system, thus you just piss on the wall and the urine runs into the trough.

#62 to #56 - egosumproxi ONLINE (09/23/2015) [-]

Have you never seen one of these? I'd say they seem to be the main type of urinal used in Australia, at least in the parts I've been to anyway. I was already a man before I saw the other kind.

#66 to #62 - assrocket (09/23/2015) [-]

I have a question: If you're busting really bad and you finally get to the piss wall, if you piss too hard, doesn't it rebound and get all over you?

#67 to #66 - egosumproxi ONLINE (09/23/2015) [-]

Aim low so it hits the wall at a shallow angle and it doesn't splash... and I usually use a cubicle anyway.

#112 to #66 - anon (09/23/2015) [-]

Nah, it's a magical wall that absorbs piss

Problem is, Old Blokes take it as an invitation to stand pretty much on top of you while you piss, it's pretty silly.

#116 - thirdjess ONLINE (09/26/2015) [-]

Hola OP, verified female here with some shaving tips.

First of all, wax if you can afford it. Best to worst in hair removal: Wax, Epliation, Depilation, Shaving. I personally epliate cause I'm a cheap-ass and it's long lasting.

Second: Exfoliate the **** out of yourself a day or two prior if you can afford the time. Exfoliate the **** out of yourself as soon to shaving/epilating as your pain tolerance can manage.

Third: If you insist on shaving, invest in a good shaving cream. Like a really, really good shaving cream. Holy **** does it make all the difference. Don't get those ****** expanding foams or shaving gels, just get a good quality, unscented shaving cream.

Fourth: Blast yourself with hot water prior to shaving and cold water after shaving. Or a hair dryer and cold press. You get the idea.

#114 - anon (09/25/2015) [-]

Gotta say, man; I was having fun reading your stories when suddenly you posted about you potentially dying. Glad that **** was 2 years ago, I was worried for a second.

#102 - anon (09/23/2015) [-]

you should cal your boss "big boss"...

#103 to #102 - evilanakie [OP]ONLINE (09/23/2015) [-]

the boss to surpass all bosses

#95 - wardd (09/23/2015) [-]

I kind of want to visit a gay bar, but i'm scared to go alone
I wish I had a friend who was willing to go with me

#96 to #95 - evilanakie [OP]ONLINE (09/23/2015) [-]

just go
no ones going to hurt you if you stand strong enough
if you arent into it say so
if you get creeped out tell the door guy
if the door guy is being a cunt
leave

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[ 116 comments ]