tales from a gay bar 15

evilanakie

little late dont ******* kill me
ok here we gooooo

meet guy
chubby qt guy
******* him in a back room
"dont cum inside"
alright
"ill get pregnant"
whut
he cums and im left kinda just confused like the ****
explain to him that he cant get prego
gay sex
trans guy ******* you
cant get prego in the pooper
"i saw a pic of a guy who was prego"
explain it was another trans man who cycled his testosterone to get preggers
did i **** a retard?

ever see a ear job?
where you stick a dick through a ear stretcher?
i have

ever seen a boot footjob
looks painful

walk into bathroom
see two fully naked guys 69ing
god damn it
leave
come back hour later
still going
god damn it

standing on the balcony with chunks of ice at the end of the night
see kid i know from highschool
throw the ice towards him
aim not to hit him just to spook him
fist of ice separates and shotgun blasts the guy
**** giggle

go to take out dead boxes
cracked out twinks ******* like rabbits
throw boxes at them and tell them to move on
one tries grab me
sac kick
ive never heard something so high pitch
like all the dogs in town must of heard it

new bartender fresh
i think we broke him too quickly
pooring drinks
looks up
sees someone twisting dicks
drops the bottle and goes for a smoke
never came back

doing drag
lion king
i play the roll of scar
everythings going great
another king gets pissy because he didnt get the roll
talking **** about how im too fat to play scar and how i should be pumba instead
bitch
he stole my brushes
he stole my wallet once
so i decided to dilute his spirit gum
he was in the middle of an act
how the **** was i supposed to know that retard was gumming his tits down

lesbian party comes in
you would think oh boy lesbians
no
nothing but angry butches terrorizing every gay man in the joint
not fun
not sexy time
ah

friend from California comes to aus
questions why there are so many lesbians in town
they are just farmers wives

guy comes in
requests pearljam
no
gets mad
asks him to leave
refuses
force him out
he writes a ****** yelp review
oh no
our reputation is ruined
noooo

200+ for more i will try post on sundays (ausfag time)

+443

Views:	31150
Favorited:	19
Submitted:	10/20/2015

Share On Facebook

+Favorite Subscribe to evilanakie

Comments(60):

Leave a comment Refresh Comments Show GIFs

Anonymous comments allowed.

59 comments displayed.

+110

#1 - ubercookieboy ONLINE (10/20/2015) [-]

Something tells me I'd be safer rolling around in a medical waste dump than stepping into that bathroom.

#58 to #1 - ruderoody ONLINE (11/02/2015) [-]

Is that paranatural I see

#59 to #58 - ubercookieboy ONLINE (11/02/2015) [-]

#60 to #59 - ruderoody ONLINE (11/02/2015) [-]

You are now my favorite person

#61 to #60 - ubercookieboy ONLINE (11/02/2015) [-]

+12

#6 to #1 - ambtions (10/20/2015) [-]

but would you be rolling around at the speed of sound

+17

#4 to #1 - friedgreenpomatoes ONLINE (10/20/2015) [-]

Depends. If it's just before cleaning time, every surface is made out of 100% super ebolaids.

If it's literally just been cleaned, you have 5 minutes before it becomes 100% super ebolaids again.

+23

#24 to #1 - erotictentacle (10/20/2015) [-]

its australia, it doesn't matter where you go, you'll probably die or suffer anyway

#56 to #24 - oculusmortis (10/22/2015) [-]

**oculusmortis used "*roll picture*"**
**oculusmortis rolled image**or be given bread with sprinkles on it

#37 to #24 - defhood (10/21/2015) [-]

^seriously underrated comment.

+18

#2 - evilanakie [OP]ONLINE (10/20/2015) [-]

LINKS
/Tales+from+a+gaybar/text/5688477/
/Tales+from+a+gaybar+2+electric+boogaloo/text/5688674/
/Tales+from+a+gaybar+three/text/5689290
/Tales+from+a+gaybar+iv/text/5689632/
/Tales+from+a+gaybar+5+humanity+edition/text/5690287/
/Tales+from+a+gaybar+6/text/5690429/
/Tales+from+a+gay+bar+steven/text/5691280/
/Tales+from+a+gaybar+8/text/5692241/
/Tales+from+a+gay+bar+ **** +bathrooms+edit/text/5692639/
/Tales+from+a+gaybar+limes+r+gey+and+u+r2/text/5693382/
/Tales+from+a+gaybar+11+much+homo/text/5695427/
/Tales+from+a+gaybar+12/text/5697354/
/Tales+from+a+gay+bar+13/text/5706381/
/Tales+from+a+gay+bar+14/text/5711139/
/Dick+tionary/text/5692261/

MENTION LIST
anonaponomous - horsefear spoonerisms - bemmo obviousretard - zaxzwim hitlerwasokiguess ( letmethink kensislayer iwina ashadowguy mooncakes redbrutal sirtechnoviking oculusmortis iamthelaww classydancingrobot elseano lunathenightmare electrozz dafunkad megaflak (
lunathenightmare bewailedbadger shadowblaziard birgirpall bluslenderman alapazama - mypenisismoist - landartheconqueror - highkingtorygg - heartlessrobot ablakguy thejudgingmoose ryuggu nerdrage kakemckake casualtyivvii megakille mokirak ragingcajun theshinypen tsnkami turtlepyro yellowizard draaaaiven liamjamse kytonlord shumdek sonsofsol hypex
noisecontrollers anarchyamongants spooooce zoroso shuckmywang derpwolf goobyman jazert yorke
ironsoul shiphotel icewizardftw daentraya bluslenderman halefall mrshrapnel gjtz liquidvoodoo epodax skullington thisnick esheter fresighto - silvanyis xaja houseofbrick baeloth feedtehtrollz mreggsalad brotein aadenoto casualtyivvii ivanfreak kangaroorat mechanicexplain epicactual michaeljones kikisu- bohemianblasphemy fresighto alienxplain princessheather therealgambit nerdreaper gohex khaoticonefear khaoticonefear froot shadovfox thatsovietguyisme comicironic mikethemerciless spacexplain zancal jakotad Einsty thimmiee bookieblaster pancakeluchadore - Amaquelin - EaTroFKITTENS newepic- dierdred sengo wiewatwaar loltrosity poorpup shadowblaziard kytonlord
that one anon who wanted a mention fruhest noxxx homosexualpirate analogue mgsexplain fireheartt fireheartt electrozz

#3 to #2 - lunathenightmare (10/20/2015) [-]

o yiss
new gay bar stories

#23 to #2 - anarchyamongants (10/20/2015) [-]

Awh yeeeeee

#29 to #2 - classydancingrobot ONLINE (10/20/2015) [-]

I wanted to go to a gay bar with a girlfriend of mine, but all these ,,tales" from your bar are kinda ,,disturbing" , is every bar like that? or how should my gf and I prepare for such an adventure?

#38 to #29 - evilanakie [OP]ONLINE (10/21/2015) [-]

its probably not going to be like my bar
but prepare for anything

#30 to #2 - Einsty (10/20/2015) [-]

Aw yiss, more gay bar extravaganza tales.

#32 to #2 - knarlyfish (10/20/2015) [-]

hey dude
could you add me to the mentions list? I love the homo

#44 to #2 - bagelmagnet (10/21/2015) [-]

can i get on the mention list? thanks

#45 to #2 - xbobchris (10/21/2015) [-]

add me to that mention list brah :v

#54 to #2 - thenoahgoesree ONLINE (10/21/2015) [-]

mention pls

+11

#25 - evenbiggerfagget (10/20/2015) [-]

>scar drag cosplay
also also I'm kinda lost with the part where you diluted his gum and he was "gumming his tits down"

#33 to #25 - shadovfox ONLINE (10/20/2015) [-]

can you explain what he means by diluted his gum and gumming down his tits?

#35 to #33 - selrahcrox (10/20/2015) [-]

I don't know if I'm correct, but spirit gum is like an adhesive used for the body. So by gumming his tits down would mean pressing his moobs against his body to appear smaller or flatter. At least that's what i think it means.

#31 - youngneil (10/20/2015) [-]

>Twisting dicks
Please tell me that isn't what I think it is.

#34 to #31 - moviesnbooze (10/20/2015) [-]

i have a feeling its exactly what we think it is.

but i imagine its like an indian burn but on your dick

#39 - floran (10/21/2015) [-]

I was in a lesbian tour group, also met different ones working as bartender.

can confirm lesbians are 90% of the time angry rednecks with tits and vagina.

#40 to #39 - vorarephilia

(10/21/2015) [-]

2/3 of the way to being a lesbian. aww yisss.

#41 to #40 - floran (10/21/2015) [-]

but you also love cock, vore!
that is like the opposite of a dyke!

#46 to #41 - metacobalion ONLINE (10/21/2015) [-]

Bet he loves cock vore too.

#53 to #46 - floran (10/21/2015) [-]

I wish I didn't knew what that is

#42 to #41 - vorarephilia

(10/21/2015) [-]

don't label me ******** . I am the goddamn king of dykes and no one will stop me.

#43 to #42 - floran (10/21/2015) [-]

well you do talk like one, I give you that

#28 - anon (10/20/2015) [-]

******* faggot

#36 to #28 - theflyingdick (10/20/2015) [-]

#5 - goobyman (10/20/2015) [-]

boogers and cum!
however, where you work i think that is something to be appreciated.

#7 - egosumproxi ONLINE (10/20/2015) [-]

What was the guy using the spirit gum for, was he gluing his tits down/on? That's how it reads to me anyway... Also what is spirit gum?

#8 to #7 - evilanakie [OP]ONLINE (10/20/2015) [-]

to hide your titties you can use tape binders or in this case titty glue
he used a stronger gum so it bonds skin together
so when i diluted it
it kinda
didnt hold so well

#9 to #8 - egosumproxi ONLINE (10/20/2015) [-]

What was he hiding his tits for?

#10 to #9 - evilanakie [OP]ONLINE (10/20/2015) [-]

to make him look like a man
hense
drag_ king_

#11 to #10 - egosumproxi ONLINE (10/20/2015) [-]

Never heard that term before, didn't know it was a thing. I grew up in rural Australia, so I've not seen much of the scene.

#12 to #11 - evilanakie [OP]ONLINE (10/20/2015) [-]

i am in rural aus

#13 to #12 - egosumproxi ONLINE (10/20/2015) [-]

Thought you said you were near Melbourne in one of your posts, or maybe I was thinking of someone else.

When I say rural I meant in one of those towns that you could drive through in less than a minute if the speed limit didn't drop in the middle. All there is there is two shops,a pub, a hall, a school that's never had more than 40 kids going there at a time, and less than ten houses that you could say are actually in town. Everyone mainly lives about 5-10k out in the bush...

#14 to #13 - evilanakie [OP]ONLINE (10/20/2015) [-]

sounds like my town

#15 to #14 - egosumproxi ONLINE (10/20/2015) [-]

The same town as this gay bar you work at?

#16 to #15 - evilanakie [OP]ONLINE (10/20/2015) [-]

i used to live in the gay bar town
but now i live in the town next to it
so i walk 8 k through the bush every day to get to work

#17 to #16 - egosumproxi ONLINE (10/20/2015) [-]

See, if you walked 8k through the bush in any direction from the town where I grew up you'd either be in the middle of nowhere or in someone's "plantation".

This feels like it's turning into a contest, but I'm just trying to explain how ****** and small the town was and, by extension, why I've never heard of a "drag king"...

#18 to #17 - evilanakie [OP]ONLINE (10/20/2015) [-]

where bouts are ya

#19 to #18 - egosumproxi ONLINE (10/20/2015) [-]

Currently a place called Lismore, near to Byron bay if you've hear of that place.

The town I grew up in is called Drake, and is about 2 hours away.

#20 to #19 - evilanakie [OP]ONLINE (10/20/2015) [-]

not saying where but im in the GV area
byron makes some ******* weird soap

#21 to #20 - egosumproxi ONLINE (10/20/2015) [-]

Yeah, Byron's full of all sorts of crafts-y people. Someone makes soap there that gets all the way to your part of Aus?

#22 to #21 - evilanakie [OP]ONLINE (10/20/2015) [-]

yeah
GV area in VIC
there is a "world" market store with "exotic" things

#57 - iwina (10/22/2015) [-]

wtf is pearljam?

#55 - oculusmortis (10/22/2015) [-]

hfw no pearljam
butches fw... well just being there
your fw the king
the dogs fw the twink's supersonic crying
why was there so many angry ones

#50 - thunderchild (10/21/2015) [-]

Twisting dicks? Is that a term for something?

#51 to #50 - evilanakie [OP]ONLINE (10/21/2015) [-]

literal dick twisting

#52 to #51 - thunderchild (10/21/2015) [-]

Why..... why would someone do that?

#49 - probrem (10/21/2015) [-]

Morty, I gotta tell you something:
It's these tweezelbonkers, they're in stage three of crafalis, We need to get all of the crystal mashgroob we can or the Gliks will not be able to harvest them before Haldar.

Point is, I have no idea what a lot of this means, but it sounds fun.