tales from a gay bar 14

evilanakie

so im currently at work
the rain and hail on my walk here has ****** my hair so im waiting for it to dry in the back room
so this edition of gay bar tales will be about me when i started working about mid september 2013 i was 16 years old and broke as **** i got the job because i knew the owner of the place and he knew that my mother wasnt going to be supportive of me being a homo, and my family has a "once you are 16 you get a job and pay rent" thing
i had no idea what my sexuality was or my gender identity, i thought i was asexual because i couldnt feel comfortable in relationships, especially sexual ones. then i learned about transgender and how im actually a gay guy and now i **** asses on a regular basis... anyway you arent here for my life story you are here for my gay stories.

be about two years ago
about 16ish
halloweener party
only recently started working at bar
ohboi gay guys right
this will be fun
naive little **** i was
see spoopy skeleman
oh nice costu-
its a custom skeleton with a skeleboner built in
not so nice costume

first time i used the bathroom
walk in
see guy getting head
"oh gosh sorry"
leave
come back 30 mins later
more people ******* in bathroom
throw my hand up in the "im not looking at this **** " pose
use bathroom
dick plops through hole in wall
" **** off"
piss and leave
complain to boss
he tells me to get used to it
quickly learn that if im going to be working here ill have to deal with a lot of dicks

boss asks me if i know how to remix music because i had FL studio open and i was ******* around on it in the back rooms
say sure
make a dank mixtape
boss likes it
gives me 20$
oh shweet
start making music regularly
sell to DJs under the condition that they cant claim it was theirs
DJs use those mixes because i wasnt confident enough to go on the decks at the time
DJ uses my mix for a local radio competition
wins 1000$ for it
that ************
call station
explain situation
walk to station
prove i was the original creator
in local news paper for music scandal
the DJ blowed the cash on drugs and couldnt repay the money to the station
start preforming with my own mixes and stop selling them
now i pull a extra 800$ a night if i mix my own ****

working at the club
see someone
they look familiar
go up to them
"hey do i know you?"
"im not from around here, but maybe you have seen some of my work"
"oh?"
turns out to be a porn star
****

******* up the limes
brutally ******* up the limes
**** these limes
**** these assholes ordering moscow mules
**** this
**** life
lime juice in eye
**** limes man
swear to self id never cut limes again
2 years later
have been cutting limes every night

ok **** flash back breaking news
looking through the chain link fence right now
two guys arguing
a third guy with his dick out
i can see two guys in a punch on over who gets to suck a dick
**** this ****
must be lead in the water some of these cunts are ******* mental

this comp was going to be longer but my hairs almost dry and i gotta make coin
some of you faggots asked for pics of the bar so ill snap some

+200 for more homo

+579

Views:	31827
Favorited:	25
Submitted:	10/11/2015

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67 comments displayed.

+69

#23 - ryuggu (10/11/2015) [-]

I can really put my finger on why, but I feel like those stories are gay.

+104

#24 to #23 - evilanakie [OP]ONLINE (10/11/2015) [-]

try sticking a finger in it ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

#38 to #24 - dreigamos ONLINE (10/11/2015) [-]

Just curious, are you a woman who got a sex change into a guy? not sure what it is for you, would like to know if it's not too much trouble

#67 to #38 - evilanakie [OP]ONLINE (10/12/2015) [-]

you cant just get a sex change
its a long process
but i was born with female bits

#73 to #67 - mokirak (10/12/2015) [-]

so... you used to be a girl, who likes guys, call me cis but that sounds a lot like a straight girl to me. how does that make you gay?

#75 to #73 - evilanakie [OP]ONLINE (10/12/2015) [-]

call you cis? what that just means youre normal
if you look like a dude and **** someone in the ass thats pretty gay IMO

#80 to #75 - mokirak (10/12/2015) [-]

well i cant argue with that, but do you have a schlong or do you just have a very convincing strap on?

#81 to #80 - evilanakie [OP]ONLINE (10/12/2015) [-]

its a prosthetic
seeing the dong surgery is disgusting
until
a)one that works is avalable
b)i can afford it
ill stick with my current dong
You need to login to view this link

#82 to #81 - mokirak (10/12/2015) [-]

so can you walk me through the process of convincing someone to stick a fake dong in their ass, also does it feel good for you? im oddly curious about this, i hope youre not offended at me asking.

#83 to #82 - evilanakie [OP]ONLINE (10/12/2015) [-]

im not offended, i host T talks all the time
so how it works is if you want to "stealth" **** them use a colored condom, all dongs look the same with condoms on so :/ also when you mostly have cheeky out the back sex having your undies still on is common
there are little bumps on the inside of the prosthetic that line up with my little donger
well for a "clit" its rather large at 1.4 inches and im not even on hormones yet

#84 to #83 - mokirak (10/12/2015) [-]

you know what, im gonna end it here before i start asking very rude questions. thank you for answering my silly questions.

#85 to #84 - evilanakie [OP]ONLINE (10/12/2015) [-]

no no its fine really
/Queer+questions/text/5393273/
seriously im a public speaker about my transition

#87 to #81 - thetoxicketchup (10/13/2015) [-]

Yeah, the standard for FtM bottom surgery isn't exactly the greatest. Having half the skin on your arm ripped off to make a prosthetic penis doesn't exactly sound fun.

But medically, we're almost to that point where we can "print" entire functional organs, so the real thing probably isn't too far away.

#88 to #87 - evilanakie [OP]ONLINE (10/13/2015) [-]

there is a new surgery being trialed where the have a flexible rod screwed in the hip
because current surgery you can get hard or piss upright pick one
the new one will let you do both

#74 to #73 - anon (10/12/2015) [-]

but i suppose evilanakie isn't ok with those bits. and like to have some dude on dude action.

+25

#31 - friedgreenpomatoes ONLINE (10/11/2015) [-]

I'm sorry you had to find out this way sir, but I'm afraid your content is...

gay

+30

#32 to #31 - evilanakie [OP]ONLINE (10/11/2015) [-]

how could this be

+11

#33 to #32 - friedgreenpomatoes ONLINE (10/11/2015) [-]

According to our analysis, you forgot to say 'no homo'

+16

#34 to #33 - evilanakie [OP]ONLINE (10/11/2015) [-]

i see
all the homo

#46 to #34 - needsauceadmisblan (10/11/2015) [-]

sir this might be of a bit of help.

#71 to #46 - lokischosen (10/12/2015) [-]

I think you may need this sir.

+21

#3 - evilanakie [OP]ONLINE (10/11/2015) [-]

LINKS
/Tales+from+a+gaybar/text/5688477/
/Tales+from+a+gaybar+2+electric+boogaloo/text/5688674/
/Tales+from+a+gaybar+three/text/5689290
/Tales+from+a+gaybar+iv/text/5689632/
/Tales+from+a+gaybar+5+humanity+edition/text/5690287/
/Tales+from+a+gaybar+6/text/5690429/
/Tales+from+a+gay+bar+steven/text/5691280/
/Tales+from+a+gaybar+8/text/5692241/
/Tales+from+a+gay+bar+ **** +bathrooms+edit/text/5692639/
/Tales+from+a+gaybar+limes+r+gey+and+u+r2/text/5693382/
/Tales+from+a+gaybar+11+much+homo/text/5695427/
/Tales+from+a+gaybar+12/text/5697354/
/Tales+from+a+gay+bar+13/text/5706381/
/Dick+tionary/text/5692261/

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