Star Wars VIII Review *spolers, duh...*
So the whole movie is really about finding Luke after he left.
So both "The First Order" and the "Resistance" (the forces of the New Republic? That's a stupid name, as resistance implies that they're fighting for their own personal freedom.) trying to find a map to where Luke is. Why Luke left a map if he didn't want to be found is irrelevant. And how the Empire (not to be confused with the First Order, but the Empire, as in the one that's gone) had 9/10 of the map (but not the final piece?) at their Library, is also not relevant.
So a resistance pilot and Mr. Main Character (stormtrooper) break out of a Star Destroyer in nothing but a Tie Fighter. Wasn't a stealthy exit or anything, they somehow got out of a busy hangar, shooting everything to bits, and THEN got out and crippled the Star Destroyers main guns without getting shot (although this is somewhat excusable as no main characters means no story).
They crash land on Jakku to find the droid that has the last 1/10 of the map, and run into Luke's daughter (she doesn't know she's Luke's daughter, apparently Skywalkers like to carry the tradition of not having a father. Or either parent in this case). Such a coincidence. To get off the planet they manage to steal none other than the Millenium Falcon. Another neat coincidence.
Escaping the planet, they're intercepted by a cargo tug, and greeted by none other than Han Solo, who had apparently been looking for the ship for years after it had been stolen from him, but just happened to find it as soon as our main characters get their hands on it. Another neat little coincidence. They carry on to find an old contact of Han's, who happens to have Luke's old lightsaber. Don't worry it's just another coincidence.
They are then attacked by Mr. Sith man who happens to be *drumroll* Han's son. Neat coinci- oh wait that's actually not a coincidence, it was in the books. Alright so they are attacked by Jason Solo, one of the twi- oh wait his name's Ben, and they imply that's their only child. Damn. So Ben Solo captures Ms. Main character and takes her to Death Star Mk III.
Death Star Mk III is a planet with a built in superlaser, like 10x bigger than the death star. When they learn of what's going on the First Order General gives a big fiery speech, which I thought at the time was very reminiscent of a Hitler speech, but to make things worse at the end of the speech every stormtrooper gives out a Nazi salute (the Evil to the core villian trope is starting to get a bit overused in my opinion). At the end of the speech they then fire the laser at a few random planets (Even though they know where the "resistance" base is).
Well since the thing's already fired, it now has to recharge, so the rebels go on the offense to take out the.... thermal exhaust port on the thing. I'm not kidding you. But first the main characters have to go down to the surface to disable the shield generators. So while disabling the shields Finn happens to run into his own CO (coincidence), where he proceeds to give her a bit of grief at gunpoint, and the shields are lowered (because none of them knew how to do it. The stormtrooper did it anyways even though she had to know she'd be executed for her actions, or killed anyways in the resulting planet destruction because she was afraid of getting shot by a man whom she knew was opposed to shooting in the first place if he didn't have to)
So afterwards on this planet of a military base, they happen to run into Ms. Main character (coincidence). At this point the Grand Fleet of the Resistance is here to save the day! A total of about 13 X Wings.... Even though the New Republic is vastly superior to the First Order now militarily they could only send in 13 X Wings.
Well they can't blow the thing up, so the main characters do so from the ground. *spoiler alert* Ben Solo kills Han, and then Mrs. Main character defeats Ben with a lightsaber even with having no training. They then escape the planet as it implodes. Goes back to the rebel base, where it turns out that a deactivated R2D2 had a copy of the 9/10 of the map on him the whole time (coincidence) and Ms. Main character goes and finds Luke.
Things they did good:
The Visuals were very good. The music was good. The characters for the most part were played very well. Ignoring the (gaping) plotholes the story was also interesting. It gave off a massive feeling of nostalgia for the very first movie. I mean hell it was basically the same plot as the first damn movie.
Things they did poorly:
The several massive gaping plotholes. Why does everybody care so much about Luke in the first place? Why is there a map to where he isolated himself if only he knows where he is and doesn't want to be found? Why is the First Order so much stronger than the New Republic? Why didn't they just destroy the Rebel Base with the First laser instead of testing it on random planets first?
STOP USING SO MANY COINCIDENCES.
Books were thrown out.
4/7
So both "The First Order" and the "Resistance" (the forces of the New Republic? That's a stupid name, as resistance implies that they're fighting for their own personal freedom.) trying to find a map to where Luke is. Why Luke left a map if he didn't want to be found is irrelevant. And how the Empire (not to be confused with the First Order, but the Empire, as in the one that's gone) had 9/10 of the map (but not the final piece?) at their Library, is also not relevant.
So a resistance pilot and Mr. Main Character (stormtrooper) break out of a Star Destroyer in nothing but a Tie Fighter. Wasn't a stealthy exit or anything, they somehow got out of a busy hangar, shooting everything to bits, and THEN got out and crippled the Star Destroyers main guns without getting shot (although this is somewhat excusable as no main characters means no story).
They crash land on Jakku to find the droid that has the last 1/10 of the map, and run into Luke's daughter (she doesn't know she's Luke's daughter, apparently Skywalkers like to carry the tradition of not having a father. Or either parent in this case). Such a coincidence. To get off the planet they manage to steal none other than the Millenium Falcon. Another neat coincidence.
Escaping the planet, they're intercepted by a cargo tug, and greeted by none other than Han Solo, who had apparently been looking for the ship for years after it had been stolen from him, but just happened to find it as soon as our main characters get their hands on it. Another neat little coincidence. They carry on to find an old contact of Han's, who happens to have Luke's old lightsaber. Don't worry it's just another coincidence.
They are then attacked by Mr. Sith man who happens to be *drumroll* Han's son. Neat coinci- oh wait that's actually not a coincidence, it was in the books. Alright so they are attacked by Jason Solo, one of the twi- oh wait his name's Ben, and they imply that's their only child. Damn. So Ben Solo captures Ms. Main character and takes her to Death Star Mk III.
Death Star Mk III is a planet with a built in superlaser, like 10x bigger than the death star. When they learn of what's going on the First Order General gives a big fiery speech, which I thought at the time was very reminiscent of a Hitler speech, but to make things worse at the end of the speech every stormtrooper gives out a Nazi salute (the Evil to the core villian trope is starting to get a bit overused in my opinion). At the end of the speech they then fire the laser at a few random planets (Even though they know where the "resistance" base is).
Well since the thing's already fired, it now has to recharge, so the rebels go on the offense to take out the.... thermal exhaust port on the thing. I'm not kidding you. But first the main characters have to go down to the surface to disable the shield generators. So while disabling the shields Finn happens to run into his own CO (coincidence), where he proceeds to give her a bit of grief at gunpoint, and the shields are lowered (because none of them knew how to do it. The stormtrooper did it anyways even though she had to know she'd be executed for her actions, or killed anyways in the resulting planet destruction because she was afraid of getting shot by a man whom she knew was opposed to shooting in the first place if he didn't have to)
So afterwards on this planet of a military base, they happen to run into Ms. Main character (coincidence). At this point the Grand Fleet of the Resistance is here to save the day! A total of about 13 X Wings.... Even though the New Republic is vastly superior to the First Order now militarily they could only send in 13 X Wings.
Well they can't blow the thing up, so the main characters do so from the ground. *spoiler alert* Ben Solo kills Han, and then Mrs. Main character defeats Ben with a lightsaber even with having no training. They then escape the planet as it implodes. Goes back to the rebel base, where it turns out that a deactivated R2D2 had a copy of the 9/10 of the map on him the whole time (coincidence) and Ms. Main character goes and finds Luke.
Things they did good:
The Visuals were very good. The music was good. The characters for the most part were played very well. Ignoring the (gaping) plotholes the story was also interesting. It gave off a massive feeling of nostalgia for the very first movie. I mean hell it was basically the same plot as the first damn movie.
Things they did poorly:
The several massive gaping plotholes. Why does everybody care so much about Luke in the first place? Why is there a map to where he isolated himself if only he knows where he is and doesn't want to be found? Why is the First Order so much stronger than the New Republic? Why didn't they just destroy the Rebel Base with the First laser instead of testing it on random planets first?
STOP USING SO MANY COINCIDENCES.
Books were thrown out.
4/7
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