Some helpful advices. . Your Father Probably Told You A Few Things, But Just In Case He Wasn' t Around Enough, Here Are Some Words Of Wisdom You Might Have Miss
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Some helpful advices

Your Father Probably Told You A Few
Things, But Just In Case He Wasn' t
Around Enough, Here Are Some Words
Of Wisdom You Might Have Missed Out On:
l, Go for women you perceive to be "out of your
league," Who' ll surprise yourself.
2, Never have sex with anyone that doesn' t want it
as much as you.
T, Never hit anyone unless they are an immediate threat.
4, Every hat should serve a purpose.
5. Never take her to the movies on the first date.
6., Learn to wet shave.
T, Nothing looks more badass than a suit.
8, Shave with the grain on the first hoveround.
El. Always look a person in the eye when you talk to
them.
IO. Buy a plunger before you need a plunger.
11. Exercise makes you happy. Ru n, lift, and play
sports,
12. Brush your teeth before you put on your tie.
small amount of your paycheck should go
directly to your savings account every month.
14, Call your parents every week,
15. Never wear a tie.,
16. Give a firm handshake.
17. Compliment her shoes.
13. Never leave a pint unfinished.
19. If you aren' t confident, fake it.. it will come.
20. You can tell the size of a man by the size of things
that bother him.
21. Be conscious of your body language.
22, The only reason to ever point a gun at someone is
if you intend to shoot them.
23. Always stand to shake someone’: hand,
lit. Never lend anything you can' t afford to lose.
25. Ask more than you answer. Everybody likes to talk
about themselves.
26. Keep a change of clothes at the office-
27. Buy high quality tools, so you only have to buy them
donce,
28. Manliness is not only being able to take care of
yourself, but others as well.
29. Ga with the decision that will make for a good
story.
30. when you walk, look straight ahead, not at your
feet.
31. Nice guys don' t finish last., Boring guys do.
32. Find your passion and figure out how to get paid
for it.
33. Don' t let the little head do the thinking for the big
head.
34, No matter their job or status in life, everyone
deserves your respect.
35. The most important thing you can learn is
personal responsibility., Bad things happen, it' s your
job to overcome them.
36. The first one to get angry loses.
37. Do what needs to be done without complaining, it
won' t help speed things up.
38. Never stop learning,
39. Always go out into public dressed like you' re
about to meet the love of your life.
AD. Don' t change yourself just to make someone
happy, unless that someone is you.
41. If you' re the smartest person in the room, you' re
in the wrong room.
all Luck favors the prepared.
Women find confidence sexy as hell.
44. Do whatever you want to do in the life, but be the
best at it.
45, No one is on their deathbed wishing they spent
more time at work. Enjoy your life.
...
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Submitted: 03/19/2014
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User avatar #1 - thewulfman (03/19/2014) [+] (87 replies)
stickied by markmauster
Okay, while I like the majority of these, I want to call out some bullshit.

2) Never have sex with someone who doesn't want it as much as you.
Really? How do you even measure that? What is the acceptable margin of error? This one is just too vague and it's crap.
3) Never hit anyone unless they're an immediate threat.
Yeah no. Again, what is even defined as an "immediate threat?" It's too vague and by the basis. Here's a better one. Never hit the innocent.
4) Every hat should serve a purpose.
Uh. Okay? Sure, fine then. What if a hat just serves the purpose of making the wearer happy?
5) Never take her to the movies on the first date.
While I mostly agree with this, there should be some exceptions to this rule. If you just met the girl and invited her out, then movies is a terrible idea. If you've known her for awhile and you decided to date, then I feel it's acceptable.
22) Never point a gun at someone unless you intend to shoot them.
Who the FUCK thought this up? Seriously what the fuck. So every time cops draw their firearm to get a suspect to surrender, they're in the wrong because they don't actually intend to shoot someone? This is so stupid. A gun's best use is to deter violence, not to create it. I'd gladly point a firearm at someone to diffuse a situation, doesn't mean I intend to shoot them.
29) Go with the decision that will make a good story.
Lol what. Yeah, fuck the sensible choice, just go with whatever would sound good in a story you tell your bar buddies or in a green text post on 4chan.
34) No matter their job or status in life, everyone deserves your respect.
Respect is not a right. Respect is a commodity, which is earned. I get what this is trying to say, it's anti-classism. That's fine and all, I hate elitism myself, but that's simply not how it works. I'm not going to respect someone's if their job goes against my ideology. I don't respect members of the WBC. Continued->
#37 - rzkruspe ONLINE (03/19/2014) [+] (1 reply)
#41
#41
User avatar #28 - samxdaxman (03/19/2014) [+] (17 replies)
>#41
In this case, the smartest person leaves, making the second smartest person in the room the smartest. They then follow suit and leave. This continues until everyone has left the room. Soon all rooms become obsolete since nobody wants to be the smartest person in one. We all live in the woods and die from exposure.
I'm very fun at parties. Just kidding, I don't get invited to parties.
#114 - betta ONLINE (03/20/2014) [+] (42 replies)
#20: You can tell the size of a man by the size of things that bother him.   
   
This one couldn't be any more true. Get ready for a semi long story...   
   
I've only ever had one girlfriend. 9th grade. It was awesome. I loved every single moment of my life; Really; I did. Her name was Marina. There was never a moment that she wasn't smiling. I naturally hate my smile, even today, but I couldn't stop smiling anytime we ever hung out. It truly felt like the perfect relationship. We didn't date for long, but we had plans to hang out. I hope she felt the same way I did about her. But she didn't. I know she didn't. She committed suicide. She didn't love me. She didn't care about me. I wanted to be there for her, but she didn't want me there for her. She knew she could've talked to me, but didn't. I want her back. I wouldn't even want her back here for me. She had so many caring and loving friends. We wanted to help, we just didn't know she needed it. Maybe we needed to ask her more often if she was okay. I didn't lose a girlfriend. I lost the ability to find someone to fill that void. I don't ever want to date anyone. I don't want to go through this again.    
   
Maybe I need a tougher shell. Maybe I need to help others more. Who knows...
#20: You can tell the size of a man by the size of things that bother him.

This one couldn't be any more true. Get ready for a semi long story...

I've only ever had one girlfriend. 9th grade. It was awesome. I loved every single moment of my life; Really; I did. Her name was Marina. There was never a moment that she wasn't smiling. I naturally hate my smile, even today, but I couldn't stop smiling anytime we ever hung out. It truly felt like the perfect relationship. We didn't date for long, but we had plans to hang out. I hope she felt the same way I did about her. But she didn't. I know she didn't. She committed suicide. She didn't love me. She didn't care about me. I wanted to be there for her, but she didn't want me there for her. She knew she could've talked to me, but didn't. I want her back. I wouldn't even want her back here for me. She had so many caring and loving friends. We wanted to help, we just didn't know she needed it. Maybe we needed to ask her more often if she was okay. I didn't lose a girlfriend. I lost the ability to find someone to fill that void. I don't ever want to date anyone. I don't want to go through this again.

Maybe I need a tougher shell. Maybe I need to help others more. Who knows...
User avatar #124 - ferndizzle (03/20/2014) [+] (3 replies)
#41

>teacher walks into classoom
>immediately walks out
>the end
User avatar #24 - I Am Monkey (03/19/2014) [+] (3 replies)
29. Go with the decision that will make for a good story

Idk about that one. Some of the best greentexts sound like they were horrible for the person involved. Beta threads and whatnot.
User avatar #148 - cakezs (03/20/2014) [+] (5 replies)
I highly disagree with #34. You need to earn someone's respect, and people need to earn mine. Knowing who has earned your respect and who hasn't is a big part of being a man.
User avatar #164 to #148 - nyawgga (03/20/2014) [-]
Rule 34

No exceptions
#34 - vlademitrius (03/19/2014) [+] (7 replies)
reminds me of this.
#85 - afroadam (03/20/2014) [+] (7 replies)
looking a person in the eye while we are talking is absolute torture for me. talking to people isnt the problem but i have to dart my eyes in other directions for the most part. it's this weird anxiety problem. but im trying hard to be able to look at people in the eye as i talk to them. now it's really only when i right next to them. kinda proud of myself
#311 - Freelon (03/20/2014) [+] (2 replies)
"If she has dirty hair, she has a dirty body because if you shower your hair gets wet too."   
                                                                                                        -My Dad
"If she has dirty hair, she has a dirty body because if you shower your hair gets wet too."
-My Dad
#7 - ullapool (03/19/2014) [+] (1 reply)
Some people might have problems with nr 23.

Just saying
#77 - byobgraffpro (03/20/2014) [+] (6 replies)
"nothing looks more badass than a well tailored suit"
#268 - typeonegative (03/20/2014) [-]
my dad's advice to me
my dad's advice to me
#162 - syutsu (03/20/2014) [+] (1 reply)
Considering I never knew my Dad and therefore I never had a father figure this post has actually helped me out a lot. A special thanks to you OP!
#325 - pwap (03/20/2014) [+] (1 reply)
Thanks
#196 - tastycrisps (03/20/2014) [+] (10 replies)
These are all good except for probably 19

Simply telling people to be confident isn't really the best way to help them. If they had in them the ability to suddenly gain confidence you wouldn't need to tell them that in the first place.

I prefer to say this: Don't be afraid to make mistakes, people are more forgiving than you might think and trying and failing is better than never trying at all. Unless you're into skydiving
User avatar #106 - lnyanchl (03/20/2014) [+] (2 replies)
Thanks, this'll be useful since my dad died recently. I wasn't even old enough to get this kinda advice.
User avatar #307 - mechaemperor (03/20/2014) [-]
46. Never stick your dick in crazy
47. Everything done at the right time.
User avatar #396 - tarnis ONLINE (03/20/2014) [-]
Funnyjunk is a better dad than my dad.
#301 - KillerBunny (03/20/2014) [+] (1 reply)
I'm just going to add a few of my own points for any interested;

1) If you can pull off a beard, do it. But in most situations, make sure to shave your neck, the beard will help define your jawline.

2) Don't give big compliments out unless they're deserved. Smaller compliments work just fine, but if you give a huge meaningful compliment to someone on a daily basis, it won't seem as sincere to them when they go out of their way and do something fantastic that's deserving of that huge compliment.

3) Make sure you smell good. There are few things more unattractive than someone with terrible body odor or breath. Keep gum with you, and invest in some non-overpowering cologne. (I'd personally recommend Hummer H2 cologne. Smells fantastic and it's pretty cheap in most places.)

4) If you absolutely cannot do something to fix a shitty situation, then simply do nothing, and let it go. If there is genuinely nothing that you can do, then constantly thinking about how bad it is will drive you mental, and it's simply a waste of time.

5) Find what you love, and chase it as relentlessly as you can. Even if you fail, there's no shame in that. And I know a lot of people will think this is bad advice because of the risk, but you only get one life. If you're not doing what you want to do, then you're not going to be happy with it, and it's simply not worth it.
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