Smart Ass'd Email
PERMISSION sup
horn
sht'
isr-
From: David Thome
Date: Wednesday 10 March 2010 T
To: Darryl Robinson
Subject: Permission Slip
Dear Darryl,
I have received your permission slip
featuring wall can only assume is a
levitating rabbit about to drop an egg on
Jesus,
Thank you for restocking the permission
box as this has saved me not only from
having to make a choice, but also from
having to make my own forty We degree
downward stroke followed by a twenty
percent longer tony tive degree upward
stroke. Without your guidance, I may have
drawn a picture of a cactus wearing a hat
by mistake
As I trust my omkring' s ability to separate
fact from iamgay, I am happy for him to
participate in your Indoctrination process
on the proviso that all references to 'Jesus'
are replaced with the term 'Purportedly
Magic Jew.'
Regards, David
From: Darryl Robinson
Date: Thursday 11 March 201 o
To: David Theme
Subject: Re: Permission Slip
Hello David
The tick In the box already was a mistake I
noticed after priming them all. Ne seen the
play and its not indoctrinator anyone. " a
fun play performed by a great bunch
kids You do not have to be religious to
enjoy t You are welcome to attend it you
have any concerns.
Darryl Robinson, School Chaplain
From: David Thome
Date: Thursday 11 March 2010 11.
To: Darryl Robinson
Subject: Re: Re Permission Slip
Dear Darryl,
Thank you for the kind otter, being unable
to think of anything more exciting than
attending your entertaining and fun rilled
afternoon, Itried harder and thought of
about four hundred things.
I was actually in a Bible based play once
and played the role of Annoyed about
having to do this.‘ My scene involved
offering a , as nobody knew what
Myrrh was, to a plastic baby Jesus then
standing between l forgot my costume so
am wearing the teachers poncho' and l
don' t feel very well'. Highlights the play
Included a nervous donkey with diarrhoea
causing l dont feel very wer to vomit onto
the back of Mary' s head, and the Ululating
system, designed to provide a halo effect
around the manger, overheating and
setting it alight The teacher, later criticised
for (musing an electrical tire with a bucket
of water endangering the lives of
children, lat the building in tears and the
audience in silence. We only saw her
again briefly when she came to the school
to collect her poncho.
Also, your inference that I am without
religion is incorrect and I am actually torn
between two faiths; while your gods
promise or eternal lite is very persuasive,
the Papua New Guinean mud god,
is promising a pig and as many
coconuts as you can carry.
Regards, David
From: Darryl Robinson
Date: Thursday 11 March 2010 2
To: David Thome
subject: Re: Re Re Permission Slip
Hello David
While it would be a pity tor Seb to miss out
on the important message of hope that the
story mine resurection gives, it you don' t
want him to attend the presentation on
Monday then just tick the box that says I do
not give my child permission to attend,
Darryl Robinson, School Chaplain
From: David Thome
Date: Thursday 11 March 2010 5
To: Darryl Robinson
Subject: Re: Re Re Re: Permission "
Dear Darryl,
I understand the importance the
resurrection story holds in your particular
religion it I too knew some guy that had
been killed and placed inside a cave with a
rock in from of it and I visited the cave to
tim the rock moved and his body gone, the
only logical assumption would be that he
had risen from the dead and is the son of
God. Once, my friend Simon was rushed to
hospital to have his appendix removed and
him the next day to rod his bed
empty, I immediately sacrificed a goat and
burnt a witch in his more but it turned out
that he had not had appendicitis, lust
needed a good poo, and was at home
playing Playstation
Someone probably should have asked "So
the rock has been moved and he' s gone,
has anyone checked his house?" I realise
PlayStation was not around in those days
but they probably had the equivalent. A
muddy stick or something, I would have
said "Can someone please check if Jesus
is at home playing with his muddy stick, it
not, then and only then should we all
assume, logically, that he has risen from
the dead and is the son of God."
Ifhe accept though, that Jesus was the son
of an Infinite Being capable of anything, he
probably did have a PlayStation. Probably
a Playstation 7 I know l have to get my
all the latest gadgets God would
probably have said to him, "I was gang to
wait another two thousand years to give
you this but seeing as you have been
good 77 just dam tell your mother about
Grand TIER Auto ''
Also, is it true that Jesus can be stabbed
during a sword rot and be due to the
tact that he can only die it he gets his head
chopped oft?
Regards, David
From: Darryl Robinson
Date: Friday 12 March 2010 10.
To: David Thome
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Permission
Slip
Nowhere in the Bible does Jesus have a
sword tight Learning the teachings Mme
Bible IS not just about religion. attaches a
set of ethics that are sadly not taught by
parents nowadays.
Darryl Robinson, School Chaplain
From: David Thome
Date: Friday 12 March 2010 2
To: Darryl Robinson
Subject: Re: Re Re Re: Re Re
Permission Slip
Dear Darryl,
You raise a valid point and I appreciate you
pointing out my railings as a parent
Practising system of ethics based on the
promise or a reward, in your case an
afterlife, is certainly preferable to practising
a system of ethics based on it simply being
the right thing to do,
Many years ago, I lived next door to a
Christian named Mr Stevens You could tell
he was a Christian because he had a tish
sticker on his Datsun He used to wave at
us kids from his bathroom window on hot
summer days as we played in the sprinkler.
I learnt a lot from Mr Stevens Mainly about
wrestling holds. The trick IS to oil up really
well making it hard for the other person to
hold you down I would mien lie on his living
room rug looking up at the pictures of
sunsets behind quotes from Psalms while
waiting for him to unwrap his legs from
around my torso
Your Job would be made much easier it,
after making the school cheren sit through
an hour or church youth group teens
dancing, singing and Jewish
you simply told them that it
was Just a small taste of what hell is like
it they didn' t believe in Jesus they
would have to sit through it again
When I was at school, we were forced to
attend a similar presentation Herded into
the gym under the pratence of free chips,
we were assaulted with an hour of hippies
playing guitars and a dance routine
featuring some kind of colourful coat and a
lot or looking upwards Due to the air
conditioning iitthw packed gym not
working and it being a hot day, the hippie
wearing the colourful coat blacked out mid
performance and struck his head against
the from edge of the stage spraying the
first row of crosschecked cheren with
blood. , he also undated.
There was a on of screaming and an
ambulance imbued and everyone agreed
it was the best play they had ever seen.
Regards, David
From: Darryl Robinson
Date: Friday 12 March 2010
To: David Thome
Subject: Re: Re Re Re. Re Re Re.
Permission Slip
Hello David
I ant see what any ifthat has to do with
this play its important for children to have
balance in their life and spirituality is as
important in a chiefs the as everything
else There' s an old saying that life without
religion IS life without beauty.
Darryl Robinson, school chaplain
From: David Thome
Date: Friday 12 March 2010 3.
To: Darryl Robinson
Subject: Re: Re Re Re: Re Re Re: Re
Permission Slip
Dear Darryl,
I agree completely that balance is an
important component or a child' s
education twill assume then that you will
also be organising a class excursion to a
play depicting the fifteen billion year
expansion Mine universe from its initial
particle soup moments following the big
bang through to molecule coalescing,
galaxy and planetary formation and
evetually lite?
Perhaps your church youth group could put
together an Interpretive dance routine
representing the behaviour of Saturn' s
moon Hyperion, shattered by an ancient
collision and falling randomly back
together, tugged to and no by the
gravitational pull of Titan, sixteen sister
moons, the moonless of
Satam’ s rings, Satam’ s gravitational tierd,
companion planets, the variability' s of Sol,
stars, galaxy, neighbouring galaxies _ or
possibly not, according to an old saying,
there is no beauty inthis,
Also, while I understand that the play is to
be held outside school grounds, due to the
fact that it is illegal to present medieval
propaganda in public schools,
it is also my understanding that you are
now required by law, as last year, to go
by the titt Christian Volunteer rather than
School Chaplain. A memo you may have
missed or tiled in your facts
that cease to exist when they are ignored‘
tray.
Regards, David
From: Darryl Robinson
Date: Monday 15 March 2010
To: David Thome
Subject: Re: Re Re Re: Re Re Re: Re
Re: Permission Slip
I' m not going to waste any more precious
time replying to your stupid emails It you
don‘ t want your child to attend the play Mt
indicate that on the permission slip
From: David Thome
Date: Monday 15 March 2010 11
To: Darryl Robinson
Re Re: Permission slip
PERMISSION sup
DIM mam
From: Darryl Robinson
Dat . Monday 15 March 2010 2
To: David Thome
subject: No Subject
twill pray for you.
From: David Thome
Date: Monday 15 March 201 O 2
To: Darryl Robinson
Subject: Re: No Subject
Thanks. Mention thatl want a Toyota Prado
f you get the chance Awhile one With
dark grey leather interior and sat nay.
Regards, David
From: Darryl Robinson
Date: heyday 16 March 2010 9
T ' avid Thome
Subject: Re: Re No Sabled
I' had enough of your norsefire Dom
email me again
From: GOO
Dat Tuesday 16 March 2010 10.
To: amt Robinson
Subject: Word Goo
DARYL, THIS IS GOD BUY DAVID A
TOYOTA PRADO WWHITE ONE WITH
DARK GREY LEATHER INTERIOR AND
SAT NAV.
From: Darryl Robinson
Dat . heyday 16 March 201 o 2
To: GOD Cc: David Thome
Subject: Re: Word of God
I' m serious.
From: GOD
Dat heyday 16 March 2010 2
To: Darryl Robinson
Subject: Re: Re: Word of God
horn
sht'
isr-
From: David Thome
Date: Wednesday 10 March 2010 T
To: Darryl Robinson
Subject: Permission Slip
Dear Darryl,
I have received your permission slip
featuring wall can only assume is a
levitating rabbit about to drop an egg on
Jesus,
Thank you for restocking the permission
box as this has saved me not only from
having to make a choice, but also from
having to make my own forty We degree
downward stroke followed by a twenty
percent longer tony tive degree upward
stroke. Without your guidance, I may have
drawn a picture of a cactus wearing a hat
by mistake
As I trust my omkring' s ability to separate
fact from iamgay, I am happy for him to
participate in your Indoctrination process
on the proviso that all references to 'Jesus'
are replaced with the term 'Purportedly
Magic Jew.'
Regards, David
From: Darryl Robinson
Date: Thursday 11 March 201 o
To: David Theme
Subject: Re: Permission Slip
Hello David
The tick In the box already was a mistake I
noticed after priming them all. Ne seen the
play and its not indoctrinator anyone. " a
fun play performed by a great bunch
kids You do not have to be religious to
enjoy t You are welcome to attend it you
have any concerns.
Darryl Robinson, School Chaplain
From: David Thome
Date: Thursday 11 March 2010 11.
To: Darryl Robinson
Subject: Re: Re Permission Slip
Dear Darryl,
Thank you for the kind otter, being unable
to think of anything more exciting than
attending your entertaining and fun rilled
afternoon, Itried harder and thought of
about four hundred things.
I was actually in a Bible based play once
and played the role of Annoyed about
having to do this.‘ My scene involved
offering a , as nobody knew what
Myrrh was, to a plastic baby Jesus then
standing between l forgot my costume so
am wearing the teachers poncho' and l
don' t feel very well'. Highlights the play
Included a nervous donkey with diarrhoea
causing l dont feel very wer to vomit onto
the back of Mary' s head, and the Ululating
system, designed to provide a halo effect
around the manger, overheating and
setting it alight The teacher, later criticised
for (musing an electrical tire with a bucket
of water endangering the lives of
children, lat the building in tears and the
audience in silence. We only saw her
again briefly when she came to the school
to collect her poncho.
Also, your inference that I am without
religion is incorrect and I am actually torn
between two faiths; while your gods
promise or eternal lite is very persuasive,
the Papua New Guinean mud god,
is promising a pig and as many
coconuts as you can carry.
Regards, David
From: Darryl Robinson
Date: Thursday 11 March 2010 2
To: David Thome
subject: Re: Re Re Permission Slip
Hello David
While it would be a pity tor Seb to miss out
on the important message of hope that the
story mine resurection gives, it you don' t
want him to attend the presentation on
Monday then just tick the box that says I do
not give my child permission to attend,
Darryl Robinson, School Chaplain
From: David Thome
Date: Thursday 11 March 2010 5
To: Darryl Robinson
Subject: Re: Re Re Re: Permission "
Dear Darryl,
I understand the importance the
resurrection story holds in your particular
religion it I too knew some guy that had
been killed and placed inside a cave with a
rock in from of it and I visited the cave to
tim the rock moved and his body gone, the
only logical assumption would be that he
had risen from the dead and is the son of
God. Once, my friend Simon was rushed to
hospital to have his appendix removed and
him the next day to rod his bed
empty, I immediately sacrificed a goat and
burnt a witch in his more but it turned out
that he had not had appendicitis, lust
needed a good poo, and was at home
playing Playstation
Someone probably should have asked "So
the rock has been moved and he' s gone,
has anyone checked his house?" I realise
PlayStation was not around in those days
but they probably had the equivalent. A
muddy stick or something, I would have
said "Can someone please check if Jesus
is at home playing with his muddy stick, it
not, then and only then should we all
assume, logically, that he has risen from
the dead and is the son of God."
Ifhe accept though, that Jesus was the son
of an Infinite Being capable of anything, he
probably did have a PlayStation. Probably
a Playstation 7 I know l have to get my
all the latest gadgets God would
probably have said to him, "I was gang to
wait another two thousand years to give
you this but seeing as you have been
good 77 just dam tell your mother about
Grand TIER Auto ''
Also, is it true that Jesus can be stabbed
during a sword rot and be due to the
tact that he can only die it he gets his head
chopped oft?
Regards, David
From: Darryl Robinson
Date: Friday 12 March 2010 10.
To: David Thome
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Permission
Slip
Nowhere in the Bible does Jesus have a
sword tight Learning the teachings Mme
Bible IS not just about religion. attaches a
set of ethics that are sadly not taught by
parents nowadays.
Darryl Robinson, School Chaplain
From: David Thome
Date: Friday 12 March 2010 2
To: Darryl Robinson
Subject: Re: Re Re Re: Re Re
Permission Slip
Dear Darryl,
You raise a valid point and I appreciate you
pointing out my railings as a parent
Practising system of ethics based on the
promise or a reward, in your case an
afterlife, is certainly preferable to practising
a system of ethics based on it simply being
the right thing to do,
Many years ago, I lived next door to a
Christian named Mr Stevens You could tell
he was a Christian because he had a tish
sticker on his Datsun He used to wave at
us kids from his bathroom window on hot
summer days as we played in the sprinkler.
I learnt a lot from Mr Stevens Mainly about
wrestling holds. The trick IS to oil up really
well making it hard for the other person to
hold you down I would mien lie on his living
room rug looking up at the pictures of
sunsets behind quotes from Psalms while
waiting for him to unwrap his legs from
around my torso
Your Job would be made much easier it,
after making the school cheren sit through
an hour or church youth group teens
dancing, singing and Jewish
you simply told them that it
was Just a small taste of what hell is like
it they didn' t believe in Jesus they
would have to sit through it again
When I was at school, we were forced to
attend a similar presentation Herded into
the gym under the pratence of free chips,
we were assaulted with an hour of hippies
playing guitars and a dance routine
featuring some kind of colourful coat and a
lot or looking upwards Due to the air
conditioning iitthw packed gym not
working and it being a hot day, the hippie
wearing the colourful coat blacked out mid
performance and struck his head against
the from edge of the stage spraying the
first row of crosschecked cheren with
blood. , he also undated.
There was a on of screaming and an
ambulance imbued and everyone agreed
it was the best play they had ever seen.
Regards, David
From: Darryl Robinson
Date: Friday 12 March 2010
To: David Thome
Subject: Re: Re Re Re. Re Re Re.
Permission Slip
Hello David
I ant see what any ifthat has to do with
this play its important for children to have
balance in their life and spirituality is as
important in a chiefs the as everything
else There' s an old saying that life without
religion IS life without beauty.
Darryl Robinson, school chaplain
From: David Thome
Date: Friday 12 March 2010 3.
To: Darryl Robinson
Subject: Re: Re Re Re: Re Re Re: Re
Permission Slip
Dear Darryl,
I agree completely that balance is an
important component or a child' s
education twill assume then that you will
also be organising a class excursion to a
play depicting the fifteen billion year
expansion Mine universe from its initial
particle soup moments following the big
bang through to molecule coalescing,
galaxy and planetary formation and
evetually lite?
Perhaps your church youth group could put
together an Interpretive dance routine
representing the behaviour of Saturn' s
moon Hyperion, shattered by an ancient
collision and falling randomly back
together, tugged to and no by the
gravitational pull of Titan, sixteen sister
moons, the moonless of
Satam’ s rings, Satam’ s gravitational tierd,
companion planets, the variability' s of Sol,
stars, galaxy, neighbouring galaxies _ or
possibly not, according to an old saying,
there is no beauty inthis,
Also, while I understand that the play is to
be held outside school grounds, due to the
fact that it is illegal to present medieval
propaganda in public schools,
it is also my understanding that you are
now required by law, as last year, to go
by the titt Christian Volunteer rather than
School Chaplain. A memo you may have
missed or tiled in your facts
that cease to exist when they are ignored‘
tray.
Regards, David
From: Darryl Robinson
Date: Monday 15 March 2010
To: David Thome
Subject: Re: Re Re Re: Re Re Re: Re
Re: Permission Slip
I' m not going to waste any more precious
time replying to your stupid emails It you
don‘ t want your child to attend the play Mt
indicate that on the permission slip
From: David Thome
Date: Monday 15 March 2010 11
To: Darryl Robinson
Re Re: Permission slip
PERMISSION sup
DIM mam
From: Darryl Robinson
Dat . Monday 15 March 2010 2
To: David Thome
subject: No Subject
twill pray for you.
From: David Thome
Date: Monday 15 March 201 O 2
To: Darryl Robinson
Subject: Re: No Subject
Thanks. Mention thatl want a Toyota Prado
f you get the chance Awhile one With
dark grey leather interior and sat nay.
Regards, David
From: Darryl Robinson
Date: heyday 16 March 2010 9
T ' avid Thome
Subject: Re: Re No Sabled
I' had enough of your norsefire Dom
email me again
From: GOO
Dat Tuesday 16 March 2010 10.
To: amt Robinson
Subject: Word Goo
DARYL, THIS IS GOD BUY DAVID A
TOYOTA PRADO WWHITE ONE WITH
DARK GREY LEATHER INTERIOR AND
SAT NAV.
From: Darryl Robinson
Dat . heyday 16 March 201 o 2
To: GOD Cc: David Thome
Subject: Re: Word of God
I' m serious.
From: GOD
Dat heyday 16 March 2010 2
To: Darryl Robinson
Subject: Re: Re: Word of God
...
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