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#71 - trollaccountjpg (11/12/2013) [-]
What the **** did you just ******* say about me, you little bitch. I’ll have you know my name is John, and I woke up this morning 5:30 sharp to the smell of wet ***** . I was getting a blowjob from two bitches ( **** was SO Cash), one was trying to fit my humongous 3 pound balls in her mouth while the other was choking halfway on my 18 and 3\8 inch dick. She started to squirt hard, she was convulsing and having 6 ******* at the same time. I gave it to them and they were on the floor squirting like ************* fountains. Must have come about a quart of sperm and compressed air. Imagine your best ****** , then multiply it by 35. I had to go to base camp so I front-flipped from my 14th floor barracks into my valet parked 2012 Ferrari (I got connexions). Pushed my **** to about 4 hundo (mph, mind you) and I was at base camp in no time. When I entered, I became a top sniper and was granted access to the entire arsenal of the USMC. I learned how to kill someone in over 700 different ways and was assigned to be the leader of a squad that will kill 300 terrorists using gorilla warfare tactics. Also did 6000 push-ups, 8000 sit-ups and bench-pressed 30 plates in 16 minutes. After basic training, I met a network of secret spies who will help me trace your IP address, while eating gold plated sushi and 15,000 $ champagne. My unit got the rest of the day off and I became captain of our base’s football team and starter of the basketball team. I got straight A’s on the military entrance exams and received more awards. Meanwhile, you were jacking off to pictures on Facebook and ***** drawn Japanese people. Went back in the Lambo to my barracks and now I am getting ready to go to sleep. I am going to graduate at the top of my class in the Navy Seals tomorrow and I want to look pretty much perfect for it. Don’t be a stranger and remember, I did more in one day than you will your entire life.
#275 to #71 - learned (11/17/2013) [-]
#257 to #71 - anonymous (11/12/2013) [-]
Really? This is so old you must have used a typewriter to write it.
#82 to #71 - landerp (11/12/2013) [-]
Dont **** with Chuck.
#83 to #82 - trollaccountjpg (11/12/2013) [-]
yeah I dont **** with chuck

I **** with ur mom instead
#85 to #83 - landerp (11/12/2013) [-]
Ill tell my dad on you.
#86 to #85 - trollaccountjpg (11/12/2013) [-]
what's he gonna do

act me to death?
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