15 Funniest Things People
Have Said In Their Sleep
My college roommate sat up, said "F** k you,
Batman. You owe me twenty dollars," and fell
back down again.
The one that sticks out in my mind is my
boyfriend sitting up in bed and ever so slowly
giving me a thumbs up ...then going back to
My once told me that I sat up in
bed, asked her "where the “ck is all the
money?" stared at her blankly for a second,
then said "ah, right, at the bank" and went back
A friend of mine sleepwalks, and I was sleeping
over that night. It' s about 1 am when he yells,
GOD DAMNIT, F* CKING THIRSTY." He walks
into the kitchen that and goes to grab a water
bottle. His yelling woke up his father, and he
asks him what he' s doing. He points at the
water bottle in his hand and says "i' m thirsty
and I want water, BUT ALL WE HAVE IS THIS
MOTHERF* CAN OF SOUP."
My husband rolled over while dead asleep,
snuggled me and said "you are the burning
ember in the jungles of my night"
I was enjoying a night over at my friend' s house
when we were . We were making
hamburgers with fried eggs. I thought it had
enough oil on the pan but nope, it burned right
up and got stuck in the pan. of course I scraped
the egg off and still ate it. When we were
sleeping, my friend got up, looked at me and
mumbled something like "..f* cking idiot can' t
even fry eggs..." then turned around and went
back to sleep. I felt so vulnerable.
When my younger brother was around 12 and I
was in my , I came home from a
night out and he was sleeping on my couch. He
stood up, looked at me, and said very forcefully,
Stop wasting the science." Then whispered,
Keep it safe."
I woke up in the middle of the night to my wife
struggling to get out of bed. I asked her what
was going on and she replied with ''I need to
press the button!" I could tell she was still half
asleep so I said "Come back to bed, I already
pressed the button for you" She then, in a very
condescending tone, said "You don' t even know
Freshman year of college I started barking in my
sleep. My roommate woke up and started
yelling for me to wake up because he thought
there was a dog in the room. We were both
REALLY confused for about a minute.
My boyfriend frequently talks in his sleep. His
last one was "Whiskey sounds like something
you would feed to cats, who have whiskers."
l have to find my ostrich! I need a giant
An old college roommate of mine once said
WALLIE, you robot slut!"
My girlfriend told me that a few weeks ago I
said in my sleep, "there' s a hidden meaning in
Bambi. His mum' s an alcoholic."
In my sophomore year of college, I was staying
over in my friends' room, sleeping on their floor
I' m a dude, they are 2 ladies). They told me
that in the middle of the night, I shot
completely upright and after a few seconds,
held up my hands and said "ladies, ladies
please. There' s enough for everyone" and then
went right back to sleep.
When my brother was younger (about 6), he fell
off the top bunk in his sleep. He climbed back
up and lay down, still asleep. I asked him what
was happening and he said "a bad
punched me in the arm".
Turns out he broke his arm and tried to sleep it