Sleeptalk stories. Give me some of your sleeptalk stories the comments bitches. 15 Funniest Things People Have Said In Their Sleep My college roommate sat up, s comp
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Sleeptalk stories

Sleeptalk stories. Give me some of your sleeptalk stories the comments bitches. 15 Funniest Things People Have Said In Their Sleep My college roommate sat up, s

Give me some of your sleeptalk stories the comments bitches

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15 Funniest Things People
Have Said In Their Sleep
My college roommate sat up, said "F** k you,
Batman. You owe me twenty dollars," and fell
back down again.
The one that sticks out in my mind is my
boyfriend sitting up in bed and ever so slowly
giving me a thumbs up ...then going back to
sleep.
My once told me that I sat up in
bed, asked her "where the “ck is all the
money?" stared at her blankly for a second,
then said "ah, right, at the bank" and went back
to sleep.
A friend of mine sleepwalks, and I was sleeping
over that night. It' s about 1 am when he yells,
GOD DAMNIT, F* CKING THIRSTY." He walks
into the kitchen that and goes to grab a water
bottle. His yelling woke up his father, and he
asks him what he' s doing. He points at the
water bottle in his hand and says "i' m thirsty
and I want water, BUT ALL WE HAVE IS THIS
MOTHERF* CAN OF SOUP."
My husband rolled over while dead asleep,
snuggled me and said "you are the burning
ember in the jungles of my night"
I was enjoying a night over at my friend' s house
when we were . We were making
hamburgers with fried eggs. I thought it had
enough oil on the pan but nope, it burned right
up and got stuck in the pan. of course I scraped
the egg off and still ate it. When we were
sleeping, my friend got up, looked at me and
mumbled something like "..f* cking idiot can' t
even fry eggs..." then turned around and went
back to sleep. I felt so vulnerable.
When my younger brother was around 12 and I
was in my , I came home from a
night out and he was sleeping on my couch. He
stood up, looked at me, and said very forcefully,
Stop wasting the science." Then whispered,
Keep it safe."
I woke up in the middle of the night to my wife
struggling to get out of bed. I asked her what
was going on and she replied with ''I need to
press the button!" I could tell she was still half
asleep so I said "Come back to bed, I already
pressed the button for you" She then, in a very
condescending tone, said "You don' t even know
Freshman year of college I started barking in my
sleep. My roommate woke up and started
yelling for me to wake up because he thought
there was a dog in the room. We were both
REALLY confused for about a minute.
My boyfriend frequently talks in his sleep. His
last one was "Whiskey sounds like something
you would feed to cats, who have whiskers."
l have to find my ostrich! I need a giant
omelet!"
An old college roommate of mine once said
WALLIE, you robot slut!"
My girlfriend told me that a few weeks ago I
said in my sleep, "there' s a hidden meaning in
Bambi. His mum' s an alcoholic."
In my sophomore year of college, I was staying
over in my friends' room, sleeping on their floor
I' m a dude, they are 2 ladies). They told me
that in the middle of the night, I shot
completely upright and after a few seconds,
held up my hands and said "ladies, ladies
please. There' s enough for everyone" and then
went right back to sleep.
When my brother was younger (about 6), he fell
off the top bunk in his sleep. He climbed back
up and lay down, still asleep. I asked him what
was happening and he said "a bad
punched me in the arm".
Turns out he broke his arm and tried to sleep it
off.
...
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Submitted: 08/07/2014
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Comments(304):

[ 304 comments ]
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
User avatar #7 - sweetsighlullaby (08/07/2014) [+] (10 replies)
Series of stories about sleeping with my boyfriend.

1. A few months back, I was attempting to sleep in my boyfriend's bed. I don't sleep very well so normally when his first REM cycle starts I finally start to drift off. Either way, most of the time when the boyfriend does have crazy dream responses, I'm half awake. So, I'm laying there, trying to grasp at sleep, when bf grabs the back of my head, pulls my face toward his, and says, "You ate the last of the pizza?" in a hurt tone. I told him there was no pizza and he responded, "Oh". He proceeded to fart and go back to sleep.
2. Sleeping in boyfriends bed again, half awake, slowly fading into sleepy bliss when bf grabs my ponytail, tugs my head off the pillow, and says, "We have to box them... All of them". He then pulled my head into his arms, using my pony tail, and started snoring.
3. Boyfriend: "I Love you..."
Me: "Love you too, Baby"
Boyfriend: "Not you, I love Jeff"
Jeff is my boyfriend's best buddy, they've been friends since childhood.
4. A few nights ago, sleeping in bf's bed, absolutely can't sleep. In my disoriented, sleepless state I move over slightly and start nuzzling into bf for warmth and comfort. As soon as I touched bf he shoves me, using both his hands and feet, out of the bed and onto the floor. Normally, during his night shenanigans, I just ignore them; however, laying on the floor, I lost my composer. "WHAT THE **** BF?" He replied, "I thought you were a ************* train." He rolled over and started snoring. I am the mother ******* train...
#26 - firestarian (08/07/2014) [+] (1 reply)
Is it just me, or does this one make a surprising amount of sense?
User avatar #18 - Zydratejunkie (08/07/2014) [-]
My ex talked in his sleep sometimes. For the most part it was nonsense mumbling, but occasionally he would start describing food. One night he mumbled about blueberry pancakes, so I made them for him in the morning and surprised him in bed. He was still half asleep and completely awestruck he stated "I dream the future". I've never told him.
User avatar #51 - billymayss (08/08/2014) [+] (1 reply)
My brother and I share a room. One time at about 3am, he got up, turned on the lights, walked back to his bed, and I asked "What the hell are you doing man." He replied, "I gotta take a piss" At this point I was pissed he woke me up with the lights. He then proceeded to take a piss, on his ******* bed. Just all the **** over it. He got back in his bed and went to sleep. I just sat there for like ten minutes confused at **** wondering what the hell to do. I tried to wake him up and I told him he "Dude! The **** ?!?!?!? you just pissed in your bed." He just goes "I KNOW NOW SHUTUP AND GO TO SLEEP!" And then I sat there for another ten minutes confused as hell. Eventually I just let him sleep in his piss. Most confusing night ever.
User avatar #42 - littleliz (08/07/2014) [-]
i fell asleep playing skyrim once. it was my very first time playing and i stayed up very late. my husband being kind tucked me in and put away my laptop. his movement woke me up slightly. i said "its watching me" he asked who? i pointed to the clock and said "my sneak level isnt high enough he can see me" my husband is still laughing about it.
#24 - darcabyss (08/07/2014) [-]
I can apparently communicate in my sleep. I once told my sister how to get HM02 Fly in Pokemon Yellow while sleeping. She even repeated what I said back to me. Which was helpful cause I had completely forgotten where it was and wanted it

She has never touched a pokemon game in her life.
#2 - jacksipian (08/07/2014) [+] (3 replies)
what, you mean you can't sleep off broken bones? I'm pretty sure you can sleep off whatever is wrong with you. Except radiation.
#13 - samxdaxman (08/07/2014) [+] (1 reply)
When I was 6, according to my mom and dad, I sleep walked into their room shouted something along the lines of "SHALING SHALANG SHALOM" and walked back into my room and fell asleep. I must've dreamt I was Jewish or something, cuz I have no memory of that.
When I was 6, according to my mom and dad, I sleep walked into their room shouted something along the lines of "SHALING SHALANG SHALOM" and walked back into my room and fell asleep. I must've dreamt I was Jewish or something, cuz I have no memory of that.
User avatar #15 - CallMeCrisco (08/07/2014) [+] (1 reply)
My boyfriend talks in his sleep. My favorite is, "I'll do the hammer if you provide the soup".

It's always worth lying awake to hear what he says.
User avatar #50 - unfairlybanned (08/08/2014) [+] (1 reply)
"Eat **** , Bob Ross."
User avatar #17 - gandaalf (08/07/2014) [+] (6 replies)
i used to sleep walk when i was like 9
it was actually pretty terrifying
i used to have this recurring dream
not sure what it means but i remember enormous boulders , sowing needles , perwinkles (the flower) and giant , loud and extremely deep voices just saying huge numbers like just saying billion billion billion trillion
one time i was having that dream and apparently while i was sleeping i just jumped up rolled it up into a ball and carried my duvet over my shoulder into the bathroom screaming and yelling gibberish about how the numbers were telling me to destroy the blanket
#137 - Freelon ONLINE (08/08/2014) [+] (1 reply)
If you're out there, gameshredder, you'll remember this
#6 - alleksi (08/07/2014) [-]
Sleep talking was one of the funnies things about sleeping in a tent while I was in the Finnish defense forces, because every one was always so sleep deprived.
Everyone did it at some point.

One time we had set up our tent and began to go to sleep. A few of us were still awake when suddenly one dude gets up real fast, blows out the lantern, reaches out his hand to another dude and goes here, take this (he wasn't holding anything).
we just sat there for a good minute wondering what the **** just happened, before making the guy re-lit the lantern.

another dude started yelling "attention! attention! attention! attention!" in his sleep, which pretty much alerted the whole ******* tent. (when a higher ranking person steps in/out of your room in the barracks everyone has to yell "attention", so the NCO's would mess with us by repeatedly stepping in and out of the room, so that's where that probably came from)
User avatar #100 - queeftarts (08/08/2014) [-]
My brother talks in his sleep a lot, and his girlfriend tells everyone about it so I will tell you guys.

1. One night my brother woke up and started frantically searching through the blankets, his girlfriend then asked, "Are you okay?", he responded, "I NEED TO FIND THE SWITCH THAT TURNS THE POWER ON AND OFF", his girlfriend then said, "The power to what?", to which he responds "EVERYTHING", as he lays down and falls back asleep.

2. Same thing, him waking up frantically searching through the blankets, his girlfriend asks, "What's wrong?", he responds, "I NEED THE CABBAGES." He then glared at his girlfriend saying, "You have them don't you. YOU HAVE THE ******* CABBAGES." His girlfriend was in shock and he just lied back down and fell asleep.

3. My brother and I were sleeping in the hotel room while on a vacation and we were on two cots beside each other. He said while still lying down, "He took it." I looked up from my phone and asked "Who took what?", he then said, "He took myai flgragsdifbewnb..." "they took your what?" I asked, to which he responded, "They took my helicopter." He softly sobbed for two minutes after and fell back asleep.
User avatar #32 - nyxeos (08/07/2014) [-]
My brother forgot his key once, and since he didn't want my parents to know he was coming back in at 5am he knocked on my window to let him in. Thinking it was my mom telling me to get up for school (even though it was a Saturday), I started screaming "just a minute," "I'm getting dressed," etc. My brother knocked louder trying to wake me up so I would stop yelling, but that just made me yell louder until my mom woke up and came into my room to see what the **** was happening.
User avatar #86 - charmanda (08/08/2014) [+] (1 reply)
At a friend's house, I sat up and said, "We did it. I killed Brutus."

I don't really sleep at my friend's anymore.
User avatar #29 - perform (08/07/2014) [+] (1 reply)
I actually have a few stories to tell of my little brother. He's 5 but apparently has vivid dreams. He sleep walked down the stairs, and on the last step, he missed and landed face flat. His forehead was bleeding, and then he barged into my room and said "Eggo my Lego my Eggo" and walked back up to his room. I woke up the next morning to my parents screaming because there was blood all over my brother's face.
#28 - badpony (08/07/2014) [-]
I have 2. One was a fever dream, really really sick as a kid and my mum, nan and my aunt were trying to wake me up but I shouted at them. "I am a Dinosaur my people say I am a dinosaur!" Then I woke up at the doctors. Second I was staying at a friend's house and I apparently said 'There is peanuts in the gravy.'
User avatar #91 - dosburritos ONLINE (08/08/2014) [-]
Philmont scout camp, at base before leaving. One of the guys sits up, still asleep, and screams "HEY!"
A dude across the aisle (also asleep) screams back: "WHAT?!"
This continued for 10 minutes, woke up the rest of the people, and then suddenly stopped.
#44 - seananderson ONLINE (08/07/2014) [-]
when i was 10 my mom called me into her room and she was half asleep and asked which american pie movie was i in.
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