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User avatar #83 - admin (08/22/2014) [-]
stickied
If you can write somewhat decent funny satirical game review articles, reply here with your credentials.

I don't want to waste my 15 minutes (or I guess a few hours if I make it look pretty) making this site only to have no writers.
#893 to #83 - anonymous (09/01/2014) [-]
My credentials are: a short story written about a daughter he neglected (every little counts), knowledge of gaming journalism, a passion for gaming, and the god damn will to put out a piece of content every other day without fail. For no pay. I know this is no different from the others, and you may have already just ignored this comment, but writing games journalism has always been a dream of mine, and you have no idea how hard it is it to even try and get an internship at places like kotaku or ******* anywhere that hasn't existed for more than two seconds. You give me a chance, and I swear I will consistently deliver solid content, and I'll even try and make it funny. All types of content, from video reviews to written articles. And I'll make you some god damn money whilst I'm at it.
User avatar #892 to #83 - talosknight (08/28/2014) [-]
Honestly? I wrote a few satirical science review posts for a failing blog that were the most viewed the site had before it finally fizzled out. I would love to write more, its a nice in between for me from working on side audio projects.

I don't know specifically what you're looking for, but I am a business major, with marketing and PR as my speciality. I'm not sure if writing will be the 100% best use of my resources, but I'd like to help out somehow. If you need writers, I am more than qualified to write. If you need more, just let me know.
User avatar #890 to #83 - palokomedios (08/26/2014) [-]
Other than taking an Interactive Media(Fancy word for Journalism) Degree in College, I have no experience other than just being a punny and satirical asshole.
User avatar #871 to #83 - rizaks (08/23/2014) [-]
I wouldn't mind having a part in it. I'd write super picky reviews. That'd be my shtick. Likke literally every game gets a 3-5 no matter how good I or others like it. I'd love to rip into games and be satirical about it. But I don't have any credentials. I mean, I'd work for free so +, but work 12-9 Mon-Fri so -. But hey, if it turns out to be real, I wouldn't mind some writing experience for the fun of it. Good luck admin
User avatar #867 to #83 - goodatlosing (08/23/2014) [-]
I've been doing writing literature competitions since was about 8, at this point I might as well be a journalist. I write for several papers (Nothing terribly large. Just a columnist at some local papers. Grand ledge Independent being the main.) I've also been writing steam reviews and other halfway humorous material for youtube or otherwise since before this site came into my life. I would say I feel qualified to write some nice satirical or serious reviews.
User avatar #866 to #83 - averagewhitekid (08/23/2014) [-]
I write reviews and **** on VGB all the time
I am pretty much the sole reason most of my friends buy certain video games (or in some cases, the reason they even bought a console or PC)
I can't guarantee that I am amazing with writing, but I'll put forth some actual effort if you genuinely are interested in using me for this project. It would be fantastic just to get the experience to put towards a future career
Like seriously admin, if you do make that site, I would love for you to just allow me to attempt an article or review or two. If you don't like it, then just kick me off to the side I guess
User avatar #862 to #83 - russianexplain (08/23/2014) [-]
I can go full conan o brien mode if you want.
User avatar #849 to #83 - phoenixdowner (08/23/2014) [-]
I always thought it would be funny to write reviews of games as if I have absolutely no idea how to play them...
User avatar #848 to #83 - DmOnZ (08/23/2014) [-]
Let me give you an example snippet. This one is called, "The Demise of the Hardcore Gamer in the 21st Century":

_As the gaming industry steamrolls into the downward slope of 2014, many people are wondering if a game actually worth buying will be released. Some have asked me,

"DmOnZ, you play a lot of video games, is there anything worth the 60 to 70 dollar price tag that's been released this year?"

A question to which I have only one reply, "We live in the era of something amazing called the internet, if you're even entertaining the idea of actually paying for something you obviously aren't hardcore enough to play the games I'd suggest".

Yes, it is a painful truth, an inconvenient one. The casual gamer has slowly started to besiege the video game entertainment market in it's entirety. Gone are the golden years of challenge and unfair difficulty. Where the only way a gamer felt sincere happiness was if he had several broken controllers (or keyboards for you truly worthy gamers) permanently lodged in drywall, as the "Game Over" or "You Have Died" screen flashes incessantly against the dimly lit basement of your mother's bungalow.

Why is it that so few of us relish the success that comes from finally completing a game after an unimaginable number of hours? Why is it that the majority of us play games for "entertainment" instead of challenge? Why is it suddenly acceptable for game developers to create a 9 hour campaign driven by story and "enjoyment", instead of adversity? Is it the influence of modern technology, which has slowly converted our entire society into impatient, antisocial, hipsters, who rely on our pocket super computers to do our every bidding?

No.

I'll give you a hint what it is, it starts "w" and ends with "omen".

That's right ladies and gents, or rather just gents. Women have ruined the gaming industry. [cont in reply]



User avatar #850 to #848 - DmOnZ (08/23/2014) [-]
Since the beginning of time women have always been followers. They are slaves to fashion trends, celebrities, magazines, and TV. Do you know why? It's because these mediums do nothing but tell our weaker minded friends of the opposite gender how to act, dress, eat, and think.

So why have women suddenly decided to become part of what used to be the great male gaming culture? I'll tell you why, the appropriation of the sexes. That's right men, the women are after your balls at every corner of your life. While they may say they're trying to be equal and independent, it is the subconscious nature of the women's minds that are really driving them to do this.

To find out more on why, join me on page 12 in section C for my in depth analysis of the death of the hardcore gamer, the rise of the casual, and why it's all women's fault.


If that suits your fancy, I can also do one on the flip side, blaming men for everything._
User avatar #844 to #83 - Karibookiller (08/23/2014) [-]
I do some stand up comedy, and I wrote a spoken word that was pretty funny.

Sorry for the ****** video quality.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tn2ufsmLWIM
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zt7_6t4_vJQ
www.youtube.com/watch?v=_mjhBtJ9ymI&list=UUeezzkFt4eI0D0YKMr5SYpQ

My delivery isnt fantastic, but the material is decent.
#843 to #83 - themoderguy (08/23/2014) [-]
i'm an asshole and a practicing psycho analysis: i know what makes triggered hint its everything
#840 to #83 - drizztrocks (08/23/2014) [-]
I'm currently getting English classes in writing and think I have decent humor. I've always been interested in writing and have already written a few pieces. Give me a shot and I'll do some satirical writing for you Bryan.
User avatar #835 to #83 - fiestybanana (08/23/2014) [-]
I am a woman, and I ******* hate feminist ******** .
I am a avid gamer, mostly single player, and know the ins and outs.
I am a co-writer on a screen play currently, and actively part of a crew for a pending tv show.
I was in Speech and Debate when I was in high school, and took Speech in college, so I can eloquently beat the **** out of people with sarcasm.
I don't know. Do it for boobs, everyone else does.
User avatar #827 to #83 - mrswagly (08/23/2014) [-]
I'd like to think I'm somewhat clever at thinking of jokes, but I'm not gonna push to have you make me a journalist. Also, I heard you were talking about paying the journalists? Even if it's not that much, it's something productive to do with my time.
User avatar #824 to #83 - dyalibya (08/23/2014) [-]
I love how you air quoted this "journalists"
User avatar #822 to #83 - mexicandudeinsd ONLINE (08/23/2014) [-]
i took AP English classes, so i got that going for me
and i read articles from cracked
i like reading
User avatar #813 to #83 - fatbutler (08/23/2014) [-]
I have an immensely small game library and couldn't really be a game journalist at all, but lets see if we can get cr1tikal to write for you.

That would be grand.
User avatar #811 to #83 - balloketchup (08/23/2014) [-]
Well I wrote this. Ahem.
"You think I won't dip my hand in a tub of Asbestos and ground-glass, then brutally fist your unborn child? Have fun douching out a fetus with ovarian cancer and half a million vaginal lacerations you filthy bastards. **** your rules."

Does this count toward anything? Does sucking dick make me gay?
User avatar #804 to #83 - sorihisis ONLINE (08/23/2014) [-]
I'm here if you're desperate.
User avatar #794 to #83 - Crimsonfox (08/23/2014) [-]
I did some work as an editor for the Cape Breton University Press (Which is also a book publisher, not just a press). Not only did I play the journalism game, my job was to tamper with it until it was good. I have at least one full length book edit under my belt. I also would like to think I'm funny. Mom thinks I'm funny.

I have extensive study in this field of work (I've watched all of Zero Punctuations videos), and something along the lines of video game journalism is basically my dream job and I hope to get paid for it one day. This would be a great start, a start done well due to my skills acquired during my time as an editor for a publisher. I guess you could say I have a very specific set of skills. Skills that are a dream for people like you.

TL;DR I'd really like to do this and I've done actual work on BOTH sides of the journalism game for a publisher so I know what I'm doing.

Admin, I'm your man. *Chip skylark tooth shine*
#791 to #83 - thechosenwon (08/23/2014) [-]
Make me a writer. Or an editor. I write for Kotaku.
Make me a writer. Or an editor. I write for Kotaku.
User avatar #789 to #83 - BFHPWNER (08/23/2014) [-]
20 credit hours of creative writing courses. Won a scholarship because of an essay I wrote. I play a **** ton of videogames and spend alot of time online. Hit me up
User avatar #788 to #83 - kelping (08/23/2014) [-]
While I have no priors I do have an ability to write satire and free time.
#786 to #83 - dudewitharake (08/23/2014) [-]
hell of a lot of free time with good engrish and writing skills
User avatar #785 to #83 - feedmynoob (08/23/2014) [-]
I can write my own name. And spell it correctly like half the time.
User avatar #784 to #83 - theonlyspy (08/23/2014) [-]
I'm pretty cool and good at some things, I guess.
User avatar #782 to #83 - rinaz (08/23/2014) [-]
I have no professional experience whatsoever.
That means I can have the job, right?
#778 to #83 - redryumaru (08/23/2014) [-]
I've got some experience in writing up game reviews, whether they're funny or not is up for grabs. But I wanna do it~
User avatar #775 to #83 - theepicguerilla (08/23/2014) [-]
I'm a pretty good writer and I play games. I'll write for free because it would be freaking hilarious. Give me a blog called the BigD
User avatar #771 to #83 - wesleyhathaway (08/23/2014) [-]
been playin' em for 15 years and counting.
they are my life blood.
I'm a funny guy, plus getting a degree in theatre.
it's all I got though
#766 to #83 - anonymous (08/23/2014) [-]
I'm graduated high school just like everyone else.
I'm not black, just like everyone else.
And I play video games, just like everyone else.
YOU SHOULD HIRE ME.
#763 to #83 - llpanic (08/23/2014) [-]
Well i don't have any credentials really only a couple of fan reviews i made in a youtube channel (in spanish) but i've been gaming for most of my life so if you need one writer and can't seem to find it i'm your man
#762 to #83 - semidemon ONLINE (08/23/2014) [-]
count me in, why not
i have a vast vocabulary and i've played more games than i can count
i'm free most of the time as well
#761 to #83 - twilightdusk (08/23/2014) [-]
I have no formal writing experience but play way too many video games and have just enough Japanese culture knowledge to annoyingly gush over niche jRPG-type titles even if they are total **** .
#754 to #83 - authentic (08/23/2014) [-]
My credentials,

I got 80 games on steam, one and have like 30ish Xbox games. I can review all of them.
A in English classes so I can't be that bad at grammar and spelling.
As of now I ain't got much going on.
I'm generally not much of a twat, but I'll cunt it up for you if you want.

If you like what you see let me know. I'll give you a sample of my critiquing ability.
#746 to #83 - idiocy (08/22/2014) [-]
I currently write a bit for a professional gaming organization and have a B.A.
User avatar #743 to #83 - undeadwill (08/22/2014) [-]
Here's a sample:
I began playing depression quest and its one of the best games I've ever played, its simple artistic direction of being a strictly realistic interactive novel rather than an abstract minigame direction that would allow the player to begin to understand what its like to be depressed But rather making the game so dull and meaningless that you just want to kill yourself. This is genius in the art department which is to say there is none, which only adds to my spiraling depression, again just like in real life. And the game play is so depressing, again Zoey really out did her self, I mean just making the choices that are all depressing while all the actual helpful options are just marked out rather than trying to show me how hard it is to do these things. so it only adds to my desire to fashion a noose from my tie rather than play this game for another minute, however in the last minute before kicking the chair out from under me, I received the game's happy ending. And having completed this game that showed me just how pointless everything is, I am glad Zoe included a happy ending to extend my life juices to flow through my hard throbbing heart and fill me with bliss. Then I finished the review and had a cigarette.
10/10 best indie game ever.
User avatar #741 to #83 - KoeSavant ONLINE (08/22/2014) [-]
I have the Adobe master collection. As well as enough computers to do two things at once and enough sass to shame a large black woman. I'll write game articles and news in general. Too late I already decided. Plus I've been on this site for too long. It'd be nice to be part of the community for once.
User avatar #738 to #83 - sockprague (08/22/2014) [-]
I have plenty of free time. That's all I got going for me.
#735 to #83 - Umad (08/22/2014) [-]
Playing games for 20 years and counting.   
I have had way more games and consoles in my lifetime than any other decent human being would have.   
I have no life = All the free time   
On my computer more than half of my life probably (If not, I'm playing games).   
I would glady be payed in blowjobs. I mean sexual favors! I mean half a stale Cheeto and three cans of flat Mountain Dew!   
   
If you would like me as a writer, please call:   
1-800-pleasegodletmehavethisImsoloney
Playing games for 20 years and counting.
I have had way more games and consoles in my lifetime than any other decent human being would have.
I have no life = All the free time
On my computer more than half of my life probably (If not, I'm playing games).
I would glady be payed in blowjobs. I mean sexual favors! I mean half a stale Cheeto and three cans of flat Mountain Dew!

If you would like me as a writer, please call:
1-800-pleasegodletmehavethisImsoloney
#734 to #83 - Rezialn (08/22/2014) [-]
Does it have to be funny? Could it be a straight forward article?
User avatar #733 to #83 - captainwow (08/22/2014) [-]
I'll write for you. I've done a lot of writing but only for fun. Also, my vocabulary is good and big.

If you want me to write for you I just have to learn how to write something other than Big Daddy Addy fan-fiction. Otherwise, I'll gladly volunteer my stubby fat faggot fingers.
User avatar #730 to #83 - guffie ONLINE (08/22/2014) [-]
I never read an assigned book when I was in high-school, but I also never failed a book report.
User avatar #722 to #83 - nuggetman (08/22/2014) [-]
I run a parody twitter account without using curse words and got 0ver 450 followers in a few days. (It's about an NHL player. in off season so im taking a break.)
User avatar #720 to #83 - therealpoopyroll (08/22/2014) [-]
I'd like to be a journalist for your site, mate.
In the past, I've written articles for The Courier Mail and I also did a few artciles for a friend when asked me my opinion on 'Are Video Games Art?'.
My mum also says I'm a good writer.
#719 to #83 - stubber (08/22/2014) [-]
I'll ******* do it. Why not
User avatar #715 to #83 - imthenewguy (08/22/2014) [-]
I wrote some stuff for the school newspaper before, was a guest in a radio show, and since all my buddies are somewhat scumbags, i always investigate and write the group reports. I have a long time in gaming (got a SNES when I was 4) and I believe I could write somewhat decent articles. Thanks for your consideration, admin.
#705 to #83 - anonymous (08/22/2014) [-]
I'm fairly interested. I enjoy being funny, and satirical writing is right up my alley.   
   
Credentials: Virgin white male (So I play a lot of games)   
What the 			****		 else do you need.   
   
(If you're genuinely looking for credentials I'd be happy to provide some)
I'm fairly interested. I enjoy being funny, and satirical writing is right up my alley.

Credentials: Virgin white male (So I play a lot of games)
What the **** else do you need.

(If you're genuinely looking for credentials I'd be happy to provide some)
User avatar #711 to #705 - iaintevenrustled (08/22/2014) [-]
Fokin **** m8 fowgot to log meself in
User avatar #821 to #711 - ronyx (08/23/2014) [-]
You need to check your privilege.
#703 to #83 - DroidToyiu (08/22/2014) [-]
I have been told I have the lingual skills that a man would require to sell a blowup doll to the pope. I can be that one "journalist" that seems more like he is trying to sell the game rather than review it. While being a cheeky bastard of course.
#701 to #83 - Blackspeed (08/22/2014) [-]
I'm an educated writer in both satire and journalism. I tutor for a Universities of California, and I hate everyone.
User avatar #699 to #83 - bossmanholms (08/22/2014) [-]
You can have user submitted articles like Cracked does
#697 to #83 - eutherin (08/22/2014) [-]
I'll write, I've taken technical writing classes, and have like 500 games on steam, here's my steam profile

steamcommunity.com/id/Eutherin/
User avatar #696 to #83 - hitlerwasokay (08/22/2014) [-]
I'd love to write some satirical game reviews, no money or payment at all. Will anyone be allowed to submit, and editors choose what shows up?
User avatar #690 to #83 - warlordstuart (08/22/2014) [-]
I am a freshly hired teacher. I currently teach computers at a local school in Ohio. I am a fairly decent writer. I am not too familiar with game design but since this is parody I don't think it will matter.

I am super busy with classes though. I would be willing to write a couple articles a week easily but I would prefer it if someone assigned me something to write about. Completely open research just isn't something I really have time for right now. I am pretty good at writing BS and dressing it up as professional work
User avatar #689 to #83 - chalex (08/22/2014) [-]
Wrote for my high school paper for 4 years, took 4 years of creative writing and journalism. Never gave a **** to take journalism in college. I don't want any ******* money I'd do it when I was free (always) Work closely to games (gamestop) and I've written several articles on education ******** . Also, I hate you, so I'm perfect.
User avatar #682 to #83 - wilsen (08/22/2014) [-]
I'd totally do this too
#680 to #83 - lesterthered (08/22/2014) [-]
I write reviews for games on steam. I am ready for this
User avatar #679 to #83 - nonfdkfo (08/22/2014) [-]
I never wrote satirical game review, but I'm pretty good with satire as a whole. I did some satirical tech articles, and I play many videogames, so I could try and write something.
User avatar #676 to #83 - doctorque (08/22/2014) [-]
I am a college student and I game a lot. I will do writing mang. I will do it.
#675 to #83 - mrawesomeman (08/22/2014) [-]
My legitimate study is game design so I know games. Also, I'm a bit of an ass.
User avatar #669 to #83 - thelegitman (08/22/2014) [-]
well iv'e written a few indie film scripts, wrote for my highschools news website (always put small references in **** in there, and i regularly get my dick sucked by wanna-be indie game devs
User avatar #668 to #83 - danzaiver (08/22/2014) [-]
I have already done youtube video reviews, so I could absolutely do text reviews. and i'm planning on getting many new games to come out later. and the best part is that i'm 100% neutral. so I won't deduct points for not being on my console of choice. like some people. *cough* angry joe *cough*
User avatar #665 to #83 - jakerszzzz (08/22/2014) [-]
Hey i'm a high school student and i play video games. Gimme.
User avatar #664 to #83 - HenrikVIII (08/22/2014) [-]
While i have no experience writing, i can express myself pretty good and i played a ******* of games. Mostly i played a ******* of games. But i'd like to give it a shot.
#661 to #83 - zebrasofdeath (08/22/2014) [-]
**** man, I'd do it for free. I'm a good, satirical writer, but I get the feeling that being a "good" writer isnt whats needed for this anyway. I'm still in school so I won't be available at the drop of a hat, but every now and then? You bet.
User avatar #660 to #83 - thewaronbeingcool (08/22/2014) [-]
My cutting edge coverage on the Zoe Quinn fiasco:

funnyjunk.com/Can+I+get+fries+with+that/funny-pictures/5265874/13#13

I think the reviews speak for themselves:
"You explained better than I've heard it explained so far." - Yaybacon
"You the real MVP" - Kwag
133 thumbs up - FunnyJunk
User avatar #889 to #660 - kwag (08/26/2014) [-]
Ha
User avatar #666 to #660 - yaybacon (08/22/2014) [-]
I back my statement he really did explain it the best way.
User avatar #655 to #83 - Hreidmar (08/22/2014) [-]
I've spent most of my life around creating artistic things. Music, stories, poetry, etc. I may be broke but I sure as hell know my way around words.

Also I like video games.
#654 to #83 - irishthief (08/22/2014) [-]
Well, I don't have much experience in journalism, but I have published a book called "A Convergence of Luck" and I always tried to be entertaining for the audience even if it meant offending a few people. I have a decent education in editing and writing and wouldn't mind writing articles for free. It's all about being entertaining.
#652 to #83 - anonymous (08/22/2014) [-]
I have a xbox
User avatar #649 to #83 - allinthelegs (08/22/2014) [-]
I really want ti write **** , because lord above, it would hilarious. Ive won awards for **** thats not important, and i passed my english class in highschool, so not only do i want to be a writer, i think im already overly qualified. Also, i would want to write under a pseudonym.
User avatar #645 to #83 - halomike (08/22/2014) [-]
Credentials eh?


I think gaem good. 10/100
User avatar #638 to #83 - greenwithenvy (08/22/2014) [-]
Credentials- Has passed AP english and scored a perfect 36 on the ACT reading and 32 on the writing section.

Also you trust me to mod, why not to write?
User avatar #837 to #638 - satansferret (08/23/2014) [-]
cause we all know you suck dick. and we know where that leads.
User avatar #882 to #837 - greenwithenvy (08/23/2014) [-]
judging from your name, you let a big guy stuff rodents in your rectum.
User avatar #883 to #882 - satansferret (08/23/2014) [-]
I let a big guy stuff me in peoples rectum.
User avatar #635 to #83 - spartanian (08/22/2014) [-]
I slept with Zoe Quinn
User avatar #631 to #83 - alexandrz (08/22/2014) [-]
Regularly writes for ***** and giggles, and I have a massive grammar nazi complex, including three different grammar-checker programs on my browser. Aced my English classes, spoke it fluently by the time I was 13 (I'm Norwegian.) and I do a lot of satire essays that one reader quoted as being 'very nice, honey'.
User avatar #630 to #83 - jewbob ONLINE (08/22/2014) [-]
I'm a pretty good writer, always wanted to try journalism, and I'm kind of funny sometimes. I also swear undying loyalty to my glorious father, admin. I'd love to give it a shot to see if any of my stuff would get posted, and no chick would **** me to get a good review. Oh yeah, I'm also cool enough that I got frontpage once with a bandwagon Fallout post after playing through NV for the 4thish time.
#629 to #83 - irishlawyer ONLINE (08/22/2014) [-]
I almost got thrown out of my AP Advanced Placement English class for writing a really sassy/snarky/rude/hilarious essay.
User avatar #626 to #83 - PenguinsOfMars (08/22/2014) [-]
i'm a published poet, which is ******* gay, but i play video games and doesn't afraid of anything. also im in the military so i can satire on military combat cames
User avatar #625 to #83 - lellendo (08/22/2014) [-]
Well, serious talk here, i'm good at writing stuff, like really.
User avatar #624 to #83 - WtfStrawberries (08/22/2014) [-]
I can do that. I can also make it look pretty if you dont want to put time into it Let me write for you addy!
#623 to #83 - carking (08/22/2014) [-]
Passed all of my english classes with flying colors, including my creative writing class. I can do reviews very easily.
#622 to #83 - zynphius (08/22/2014) [-]
I just have to make the **** sound great right? ok here goes. Wood cutting simulator is the best game i have ever played. The woodcutting is so precise that if you miss it by even a millimeter it won't cut! It just feels so realistic! They add to this experience by making the world large and explore-able BUT, They want you to know that your clients get the best wood so sometimes you may even drive 2 hours real time just for the one specific tree you need to meet the specifications. The 2 hour drives really immerse you into the gaming experience and just know that once you get to your destination you get to make the most precise cut ever on a tree in a video game, oh the feeling is incredible. Mix all this with multiplayer and you get my review of this game which is 9/10. Great experience, Amazing undertones, Truly Immersing world, and Well Thought Out Multi-player.
User avatar #619 to #83 - swagfagit (08/22/2014) [-]
im a total asshole who writes tons of stupid stuff all the time
User avatar #615 to #83 - ratbag (08/22/2014) [-]
A* in gcse and a levels in English
****** a horse
What more shall I say?


Ruckyou
#614 to #83 - usarmyexplain (08/22/2014) [-]
I'll write **** .

Credentials;
-I can write the hell out of some ****
*Wrote **** in the army that made terrorists die
*Graduated from high school with honors
*Graduated college salutatorian
-I play games when Im not sleeping
-I use this site to rant at people so I dont argue with my wife constantly
User avatar #611 to #83 - stickmanz ONLINE (08/22/2014) [-]
i've played games for the last 10 years, i've also watched every single episode of extra credits
User avatar #609 to #83 - retardizard (08/22/2014) [-]
I received an A in English class and used to comment on this website for thumbs. Also I'm a white male so I have that going for me
User avatar #603 to #83 - pianoz (08/22/2014) [-]
I am a good writer, Went to private school all my life. I know it sounds annoying and preppy but hey those are my creds. Private school makes you a damn good writer or else the nuns would have beat us to death long ago.
User avatar #604 to #603 - pianoz (08/22/2014) [-]
oh and I paly games all the time and am funny. I was in comedy club throughoput high school and i killed
#600 to #83 - anonymous (08/22/2014) [-]
I gotchu admin
User avatar #598 to #83 - theodordronen (08/22/2014) [-]
Never written anything official, but did get a 74/80 on a screenplay I wrote next year. Would maybe be interested in thsi kinda stuff as I love to write satirical stuff
#597 to #83 - sushirustle (08/22/2014) [-]
My credentials: I sometimes play games

In highschool I used to write stories.

I once got an A on a review in highschool.

I have way more time than a human being should have.
User avatar #594 to #83 - optimussum (08/22/2014) [-]
i was in top 10 commenters once so somebody must find me funny
User avatar #592 to #83 - Abortedwafflez ONLINE (08/22/2014) [-]
I wrote game reviews in a college class and I fancy Total Biscuit and Yahtzee, I could come up with something.
User avatar #590 to #83 - legoslayer (08/22/2014) [-]
I play games a lot. I could review both classic and new releases. I used to do reviews of at gamefags, but stopped once the computer I was stuck with in November crashed, but I still reatin it all. I'd love to do some writing.
#584 to #83 - heclok (08/22/2014) [-]
Bruh, email me at hunter.cole4@gmail.com if you would like my services
User avatar #582 to #83 - hairysmellyanus (08/22/2014) [-]
I am white.
User avatar #580 to #83 - cuttrax (08/22/2014) [-]
I want be journalist, me write good
User avatar #579 to #83 - bennybroseph ONLINE (08/22/2014) [-]
I've got a pretty decent gaming rig, that I've been dying to get some game-play footage out on. I have some video editing experience, and have a passion for video games as does everyone on this site I'm sure. I'd love nothing more than to write **** about games. If nothing else, I could be designated to provide short game-play videos, or edit them to supplement the articles. I think this is going to be sweet either way.
User avatar #572 to #83 - hatemountain (08/22/2014) [-]
I've studied journalism for a year and I've always had top grades in both swedish my naive language) and English. What more... I am working almost full time so I won't be able to write on a daily basis, but I can rant like a ************ about anything.

I would love to be part of a project like this!
User avatar #588 to #572 - hatemountain (08/22/2014) [-]
Forgot to mention that I've played games since I was 6 ( I am 21 now) and I've always had a deep hatred for game journalists and their suck up attitude towards bigger companies...


**** you ea!
#568 to #83 - instalation (08/22/2014) [-]
I wrote a short story in sixth grade. My teacher wrote "Very Good!" and gave me an A.   
   
So when do I start writing? Pix related; I'll try to look as good as this dog.
I wrote a short story in sixth grade. My teacher wrote "Very Good!" and gave me an A.

So when do I start writing? Pix related; I'll try to look as good as this dog.
User avatar #567 to #83 - dansanz (08/22/2014) [-]
I've been around some journalism clubs all throughout school, from middle to college now. I've written articles and had some posted under satire in old editions, and sometimes I piss myself laughing at what goes on the sites now.

I've loved writing since I was young, and I've been training my whole life for this moment. Big Brother Admin, sign me up.
User avatar #564 to #83 - snapjudgement (08/22/2014) [-]
I could do a daily discount blog.
It would be called "Games that cost less than Brink."
User avatar #563 to #83 - samalicious (08/22/2014) [-]
Studied Media and Writing Btec Extended Diploma.
Write almost every day.
Currently studying Screenwriting for TV and Film.

Can write like a crack addict on a rail-train to high-town. Can belt out articles faster than Zoe Quinn can suck dick.
#550 to #83 - viralkamina (08/22/2014) [-]
yes i can, yes i want, if you don't reply i will leave this side forever ike i coule even if i wanted to :/
User avatar #549 to #83 - bionicsneeze (08/22/2014) [-]
I'm actually really excited about this, I think I'll throw my hat in the ring.

I love bitching about games whether or not they're any good. Lost 3 friends because I said Ocarina of Time wasn't that good. I love OoT, I just thought it would be funny I work and regularly buy games that I never play on Steam, this would be an excuse for me to play the games and bitch about the good/not good parts. When I'm not working, I'm on here or on the vidya.
User avatar #575 to #549 - hatemountain (08/22/2014) [-]
hahaha, I lost one of my friends because I thought twillight princess didn't look good enough on the wii ((Y))
User avatar #578 to #575 - twillight (08/22/2014) [-]
Why all the hate?
User avatar #581 to #578 - hatemountain (08/22/2014) [-]
Well, I've never actually played any other zelda game than OoT and what I can remember I loved it. It was just a first impression of the trailer. but it was enough to push that asshole over the edge...
User avatar #585 to #581 - twillight (08/22/2014) [-]
Dude, Twilight princess is awesome, what i called this account after.
User avatar #591 to #585 - hatemountain (08/22/2014) [-]
Well, as I said, it was a reaction to the trailer. I'm picking up a wii u at the end of the month and twillight princess and wind waker is on the list of **** to get.
User avatar #599 to #591 - twillight (08/22/2014) [-]
get hyped! console zelda games are always awesome.
The Legend of Zelda Skyward Sword- Main Theme (With Pictures)
User avatar #548 to #83 - thebroble (08/22/2014) [-]
I have always wanted to be a game reviewer and a I spent some time being a sportswriter so I feel that could help. I'm just a game fanatic with honest interest in working for this website. I'm 18 years old and live in Florida
User avatar #544 to #83 - nightlynutria (08/22/2014) [-]
Ive always had a passion for reviews
***** IM BROKE
User avatar #543 to #83 - flambenobunaga (08/22/2014) [-]
I got a B on an English paper once... Seriously though, I've got zero credentials but I still really want to write. I can very easily be an infuriating, stupid, immature retard as my inner 10 year old is never far from the surface so I think I have that going for me. I will write a weekly game review that is nothing but pure, complete, ignorant, stupid, biased, and offensive **** . I promise. Every. Single. Week. Unless. Something. Comes. Up. In. Which. Case. I'll. Double. Down. The. Next. Week. I'll even do it for free. I could also do opinion piece articles on how microtransactions are the greatest thing to happen to the gaming industry, How EA are perfect with their business practices, and how sick hyped I am for gray-brown shooter #2454 to come out. Satire, basically.

PLEASE ADDY I WANNA BE A RITUR!!!!
#541 to #83 - anonymous (08/22/2014) [-]
Hey Admin. I'm 20 years old, I play a lot of games, both PC and console. I have 1 year of university education in English (i'm from Norway) and I can write satirical game reviews for you, if you want me to!
#542 to #541 - wikre (08/22/2014) [-]
(Forgot to log in) Hey Admin. I'm 20 years old, I play a lot of games, both PC and console. I have 1 year of university education in English (i'm from Norway) and I can write satirical game reviews for you, if you want me to!
User avatar #539 to #83 - thesecretbear (08/22/2014) [-]
I would be interested if you truly wanted me to write reviews. I unfortunately have little experience in writing articles outside of what two years in college might give someone. I do however love the world of video games, and watch the Extra Credits series almost religiously, taking in everything they have to teach about games.
I understand there are many people here chasing after this seeing the number of comments, so if you ever find yourself short on writers for this site please let me know. I would be happy to be a filler writer if not a regular.
#538 to #83 - oxki (08/22/2014) [-]
Well, damn, some of these guys have pretty good credentials but what I can offer you is, for a limited time only, that I can type stuff that is sometimes funny. This may or may not be that time but I don't really give a **** either way.
User avatar #536 to #83 - Toshiro (08/22/2014) [-]
I'd be willing to give it a shot. I don't have journalistic experience, but I do have a deep and passionate love for video games.

I've played many different genre's and styles. I've also taken great enjoyment from reviewers such as Angry Joe and Game Grumps. As well as understanding what makes a good article from years of watching Cracked and TvTropes.

2/4 Fact, 1/4 Comedy, and 1/4 Reviewing. It seems the most entertaining reviews are ones that make you laugh, fill you with curiosity, and lastly. Give you an impression of how the game preforms.

I'm not an expert, and I'm sure there are men better qualified than I. However I am willing to help.

I hope you will consider me for one of the positions.

May your rockets fly straight,
Toshiro
User avatar #534 to #83 - misterymisterman (08/22/2014) [-]
20 y/o, 8 A* 5 A GCSEs inc. A* English A* English Lit. A*AB A-Levels. Have had articles published in student newspaper, currently writing a comic published at www.ramblingsmagazine.co.uk/content.php?page=150. I have a blog at misterymisterman.blogspot.com

As far as game journalism goes, I once wrote a comparative review of Super Metroid (beloved classic game) and COD: BlOps 2 (muh multiplayer). Sent it to a friend who adores Metroid and hates COD, and made him physically angry. Can find and post if anyone wants/ cares.
#749 to #534 - fcrocker (08/23/2014) [-]
>20   
>Thinks GCSE's are relevant.
>20
>Thinks GCSE's are relevant.
User avatar #750 to #749 - misterymisterman (08/23/2014) [-]
As far as qualifications go, they may not be as important as a degree or A-Levels, but they help prove that I'm not retarded and can do the writing good, among other things. I hope making fun of people for essentially nothing makes you happy in life.
#752 to #750 - fcrocker (08/23/2014) [-]
What the **** did you just ******* say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the **** out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my ******* words. You think you can get away with saying that **** to me over the Internet? Think again, ****** . As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're ******* dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little **** . If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your ******* tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will **** fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're ******* dead, bitch
User avatar #753 to #752 - misterymisterman (08/23/2014) [-]
>Navy Seal
>not Blue Sea Lion
#758 to #753 - fcrocker (08/23/2014) [-]
Secret network of spies successful



E7 0JS
User avatar #531 to #83 - adu ONLINE (08/22/2014) [-]
I'm level 359 comments and have written 140 pages into my own personal novel. I might not have time to do it regularly though, and I don't play that many games in the grand scheme of things. But hey whatever.
User avatar #529 to #83 - danrmanalt (08/22/2014) [-]
I have a steam library of nearly 500 games, and collect ****** indie games.
I could do some pretty good reviews, I think.
It'd be great if this was a somewhat open submission sort of deal,
Where if I feel like writing a review, I can, and submit it.
User avatar #524 to #83 - lazyboredom (08/22/2014) [-]
I would also like to throw in a request for a chance to work for your new site Admin; I have written for a college level course, which involved literary analysis, and I spend a massive amount of my time playing video games. So I'd thought I'd just express interest.
User avatar #522 to #83 - mattdoggy (08/22/2014) [-]
i write college essays on the side for cash sometimes, articles would be fun
User avatar #518 to #83 - starcrotch (08/22/2014) [-]
I love to write. I also play a lot of games. Well damn, that's actually all I like to do. I usually tend to have pretty strong opinions in the games I play as well. Basically what I am hinting at here is admin, this is all I'm qualified to do. So throw me a bone. Your bone. Your chubby Korean bone.
User avatar #511 to #83 - ABitBackwards (08/22/2014) [-]
I would 100% write to the site, but seeing as there have already been over 150 replies I guess i'll step up if you're ever short on writers.
#509 to #83 - Jowi (08/22/2014) [-]
It's not really anything to brag about but I was on the my highschool newspaper and got 100% in my English GCSE, so think I write well enough. When I'm not baked I can string together something enough to be considered humorous and get decent thumbs on comments with FJ, guess you could say I may be in sync with the Zeitgeist of this site.

Then again saying this, I applied to be a mod for you a couple days ago but gave up after seeing how much effort it would take, so I may just back out of this too. So figure that into your selection
User avatar #508 to #83 - tropictheif (08/22/2014) [-]
I make youtube videos that some people like and spent alot of my time crying on /v/ and /vg/ about how much the videogames that we loved as a kid suck now

Also im edgy as ****
#505 to #83 - megayoming (08/22/2014) [-]
Im young and stupid and have the mental capacity of a lemming.

I will always speak my ******* mind and **** Bisculs.

And my credentials as you can see ar3 Doinitrite.
#504 to #83 - jebuscrooton (08/22/2014) [-]
I'm a young lad with no money and a minimum wage job. Ive been gaming since I was born pretty well, and have no fear of internet backlash for my opinions or my comments.

I have no real credentials as far as writing goes, but I did well in English class and I can form whole sentences.

I'm basically just a bored cunt with too much time to not be doing this. I just think it would be cool honestly.
User avatar #501 to #83 - mudkipslayer (08/22/2014) [-]
Im totally down with it

20 years old, currently majoring in filmmaking but want change it to be a game dev, have a fairly good knowledge of the industry and some of its people. I've enjoyed writing my whole life and I believe that's one of my strongest assets

I speak portuguese and spanish as well so I could definitely write fake articles in different languages as my "sources"

Is this gonna be a video game Onion? Fake or real, this is gonna be pretty awesome and could turn into a great thing.

I could also be an editor for the site. Got some free time and been dying to write something
User avatar #496 to #83 - hektoroftroy (08/22/2014) [-]
I don't give two ***** about computer gaming, don't have steam, my newest console is a 4 year old Xbox360.
I spend all my time on FJ and know nothing about video game journalism. It sound like complete horse **** though, so I'm sure I could do it. I was once rank 63 in comments so I think I can be funny and right now I'm ********* and it's not even 1pm.
User avatar #494 to #83 - deviousdanish (08/22/2014) [-]
No actual credentials on what I can do, but I have a pretty good knowledge of game stuff. Going back to the NES days.

And I can be an asshole, so, I have that going for me.
User avatar #493 to #83 - heraske (08/22/2014) [-]
Credentials:

I think video games are violent and can cause rape.

I'm a staunch feminazi (each time the controller vibrates, you are being indirectly raped by the manufacturer of the controller, as you didn't vibrate the controller consensually)

I like to hard core video games (Candy Crush, CoD, Runescape, battleon, farmville etc...)

I know what a strong man likes.

I have sufficient evidence video games are the bane of humanity. (E.g. "Depression Quest")
#492 to #83 - justsomenamelulz (08/22/2014) [-]
I've no credentials to offer that you might find sufficient. However I do sling around words and sentences in English for 			*****		 and kicks with little effort. Could whip up some articles with a dash of satire if need be.   
   
"COD: 			*******************************************		   
   
Pyongyang force is best force. Not available in game. Design is horrendously flawed and you can't interact with cocktail umbrellas in certain locations.   
   
2/10"
I've no credentials to offer that you might find sufficient. However I do sling around words and sentences in English for ***** and kicks with little effort. Could whip up some articles with a dash of satire if need be.

"COD: *******************************************

Pyongyang force is best force. Not available in game. Design is horrendously flawed and you can't interact with cocktail umbrellas in certain locations.

2/10"
#486 to #83 - anonymous (08/22/2014) [-]
YES YES A THOUSAND TIMES YEEESSS ADMIN

Ive been thinking about the same thing cuz the ******* thing bugged me so much. I love kotaku

I own several consoles and want to be a game dev myself, video games are my passion and I love writing, so I'd definitely help out any way I can. I also speak spanish and portuguese so I can definitely drum up fake articles as my "sources"

Is this gonna be a video game Onion thing? I like where this is going (fake or real, gonna be awesome)
User avatar #485 to #83 - rheago (08/22/2014) [-]
I could give it a go.
I'm not that good at writing but I could be the "retard journalist who thinks he's good".
Or I could write as masculist. Say stuff like "This guy has a way too big crotch way to go matriarchy"
User avatar #477 to #83 - subejio (08/22/2014) [-]
My Credentials:

I'm a damn good writer
I'm a very beautiful man
I only somewhat loathe Admin
My first response is to laugh when someone tells me my writing style is offensive.
User avatar #471 to #83 - mienkampf ONLINE (08/22/2014) [-]
addy you don't know me but I'm one of your children. I have a blog if you wish to read my style and check I'm not a retard spelled "your" right didn't I?
www.lolventures.com
I'm Dracovic, I'm taking a a Webs Apps dev certification with Dw, but I'm fairly familiar with Wp and Joomla. Plz considerme ty
User avatar #469 to #83 - cannonofanon (08/22/2014) [-]
I'd be more than interested in being a writer. No credentials, except for the boner that writing gives me.
#468 to #83 - anonymous (08/22/2014) [-]
I'd quite like to give some retro game journalism a go. I play old games and doesn't afraid of anything
User avatar #465 to #83 - jarna (08/22/2014) [-]
Well I used to have a game review show that I ran for about 3 years, and most of those were parody reviews, including a "pre-review" series that I made a pilot for.

If you had embedding enabled for video links (preferably through blip.tv), I'd be happy to submit video content on a weekly basis.

...of course I could also just write reviews...though we need to think big or go home
#464 to #83 - daemascus (08/22/2014) [-]
I did movie reviews for my school newspaper, I had to do like 5 reviews a month and i would usually only watch one of the five. I was considered the best writers there and the editors wanted me to do more but I was just in it for the lols.
Since people on Kotaku never actually play the games and I never watched the movies I think it would be perfect for me.
#463 to #83 - nutsfromahippie (08/22/2014) [-]
I am currently studying Journalism at college. Plus I have a blog (welsherofscotia.wordpress.com/)
User avatar #470 to #463 - nutsfromahippie (08/22/2014) [-]
Because one of the major things that helps one to get into journalism is writing on a regular basis, I will write on a regular basis - college only takes up half of my day, I have 3 days a week off and doing this could also contribute to college **** as it's all practical and **** .
#457 to #83 - fizzleshake (08/22/2014) [-]
ive been writing on ED for a couple years
#453 to #83 - wondersquid (08/22/2014) [-]
I have a ******* of free time, I play lots of videogames, and I rant about them to my roommate all the time so I can just right down my rantings and maybe make a decent article.
As far as credentials I have none really, although I did write **** for my school newspaper back in the day.
I have also written quite a few greentext stories on 4chan Yes, I know how retarded that sounds. that I have then see here and other places.
If you would like I could write a sample piece and you can judge me based off of that.
I also have a few ideas that could probably help the site.
User avatar #452 to #83 - demented (08/22/2014) [-]
steamcommunity.com/id/ThatDman/recommended/236850/
I wrote this a while ago
Thought it was funny.
User avatar #455 to #452 - demented (08/22/2014) [-]
Plus the whole "was once the the highest thumbed comment guy" thing. Hell I'm even getting a mic setup with decent quality so I could maybe do something along those line
User avatar #451 to #83 - warbob (08/22/2014) [-]
I'd do it , I play plenty of games and writing a review on some once in a while sounds fun.
User avatar #459 to #451 - warbob (08/22/2014) [-]
as for credentials - I have read quite a lot of reviews in my life , watch some quite occassionally and most of the times I can be objective in what is appealing/disappealing in a game. I've also streamed my gaming a bit and I've heard people have a fun time watching me mostly because of my comments/jokes , so I guess I can be sort of funny.
My style would be mostly sarcastic, self depreciating but still striving for objectivity.
User avatar #449 to #83 - ronniesan (08/22/2014) [-]
Admin senapi, Im 19 working on my Bachelors and Id totally be down to write for the glory of the Peoples Republic of Funnyjunk

However I suggest that you hand pick 4-5 editorswho you think have good taste and writing ability, and let everyone else submit game reviews to them. Then youre editors can weed out quality attempts from ******** and you can start to form an actual roster of writers and choose how much you want to pay them; if anything.
User avatar #448 to #83 - tehweave (08/22/2014) [-]
I run a satirical webseries about gaming. I'd like to be a writer, if you'd like!

My credentials:

www.youtube.com/gamingwildlife
#446 to #83 - voltwaffle (08/22/2014) [-]
Here are reviews I've done on TV shows and movies.   
codenamewaffle.tumblr.com/tagged/Waffle-Reviews   
Will we get paid trips to Gamescom?
Here are reviews I've done on TV shows and movies.
codenamewaffle.tumblr.com/tagged/Waffle-Reviews
Will we get paid trips to Gamescom?
User avatar #445 to #83 - stifflerxchong (08/22/2014) [-]
I could in french, id kill people with my english grammar
#443 to #83 - anonymous (08/22/2014) [-]
i can say ****** alot
User avatar #442 to #83 - Conemen (08/22/2014) [-]
I wrote an article for an Adult Swim fansite once
User avatar #438 to #83 - fuelnfire ONLINE (08/22/2014) [-]
English Major and professional Meme maker. The two are quite interchangeable, and about as useful so far.
User avatar #437 to #83 - bobvonbobby (08/22/2014) [-]
Sophomore in college. Son of a sarcastic son of a bitch. Aerospace engineer. Valedictorian in high school. Quite literate compared to the uncultured swine in the world. Would be down for writing reviews. I is a gud ritor. I sware admine.
User avatar #434 to #83 - kanadetenshi (08/22/2014) [-]
I've been a moderator for some video game forums where i regularly wrote blogs about stuf....yeah that's pretty much all i got.
#431 to #83 - greenbob (08/22/2014) [-]
Don't know about funny, but decent i could do.   
   
I've been writing game reviews for two+ years now, and making videoreviews of titles on YT for the last year, so i do have some experience, and i have a small name in the business, enough to make developers send me their games before launch.   
Shameless self-sellout of me YT channel :  www.youtube.com/HAunderscoreVE    
If you are REEEEAAALLLYYYYY considering me then i can write a quick something to make the deal.
Don't know about funny, but decent i could do.

I've been writing game reviews for two+ years now, and making videoreviews of titles on YT for the last year, so i do have some experience, and i have a small name in the business, enough to make developers send me their games before launch.
Shameless self-sellout of me YT channel : www.youtube.com/HAunderscoreVE
If you are REEEEAAALLLYYYYY considering me then i can write a quick something to make the deal.
User avatar #427 to #83 - slatersniper (08/22/2014) [-]
Hey I'm the most cynical asshole out there. That's my credentials.
#424 to #83 - jennnahhh (08/22/2014) [-]
I'm a college English / creative writing major. I have access to Photoshop. I own 80 games on Steam. I am a sarcastic son of a bitch. I also own many leather-bound books, and my apartment smells of rich Mahogany, so I'm kind of a big deal.
User avatar #495 to #424 - heraske (08/22/2014) [-]
"My apartment smells of rich Mahogany, so I'm kind of a big deal."

Did you ever get obby??
#422 to #83 - learned (08/22/2014) [-]
I could write some ridiculous or semi-ridiculous reviews, if u also aim to hurt the feminists or w/e, I could throw a few jabs in for them aswell. You know, just for the luls....
For example, 2 years ago I wrote a lengthy article in my old schools student newspaper, "Parmupill", about the differences between a tangerine and an orange, with a few exaggerated facts and some myths that I stated as facts with made up sources. My article eventually ended up in my county's annual student newspaper contest, "Parim vägistamis teooria", in which my article achieved fourth place out of 39 contestants.

The example is utter ******** and you know it.
User avatar #421 to #83 - gamerase (08/22/2014) [-]
I've studied Game Design and read 3 or 4 books about it by different people. I've written reviews before for forums and whatnot. Would love to contribute.
User avatar #420 to #83 - ChippiAble (08/22/2014) [-]
DO I GET PAID, ADDY?
User avatar #419 to #83 - leonhardt (08/22/2014) [-]
I can ******** and tell jokes with the best of them.
User avatar #412 to #83 - mrhadrick (08/22/2014) [-]
Ran a magazine at college and a radio station, this site and others have given me the humour and i know how to convey it... also I'm British and just look at how successful zero punctuation is
#411 to #83 - anonymous (08/22/2014) [-]
I'll do it.


BTW we need a prpgramming board.
User avatar #410 to #83 - announcement (08/22/2014) [-]
I'd love to write for such a site Admondo.
I've a fair knowledge and access to Photoshop to possibly make fancy(-ish) articles.
I'm a sarcastic bastard (Perfect for reviewing **** ).
And if I say so myself... I can be funny... at times.... under the right circumstances...
I can turn a phrase.
And most importantly...
I can swear.
Want me to prove it?
...
Dicktits

For what it's worth I've completed an education is game-design to but judging from the other comments I'm not the only one so that **** just aint special enough.
User avatar #415 to #410 - announcement (08/22/2014) [-]
Check my comments for references Admondo, plx I beg u.
#409 to #83 - neosword (08/22/2014) [-]
Here's a sample:   
Call of duty found to be the most accurate game ever.   
While the friendly claymores can be a stretch and same with the wall hacks, this reporter can confirm from entering war zones personally that half the battles ragged on Iraqi soil are clan wars, and three sixty no scope battles. On a side note i found out just how much my mother fornicates with every man on the enemy team.
Here's a sample:
Call of duty found to be the most accurate game ever.
While the friendly claymores can be a stretch and same with the wall hacks, this reporter can confirm from entering war zones personally that half the battles ragged on Iraqi soil are clan wars, and three sixty no scope battles. On a side note i found out just how much my mother fornicates with every man on the enemy team.
User avatar #402 to #83 - KRIPTON (08/22/2014) [-]
Im up for it. I Have been in Game development for 3 years now, So I can be constructive of games and there development patterns. PLUS my name is darkish Blue.. so yeah.
User avatar #404 to #402 - KRIPTON (08/22/2014) [-]
Studying Game environments.
User avatar #401 to #83 - jjamesgordon ONLINE (08/22/2014) [-]
I was a creative writing major. I've done alpha and beta tests for numerous games, and written serious reviews, as well as some satirical ones for various forum sites. If I'm given the games, I can pound out a review in just about no time flat.
User avatar #400 to #83 - teckemeier (08/22/2014) [-]
I don't have any credentials but I'm a sarcastic bastard and I'm all for this new site of yours. I wouldn't have any problems with writing a review of a game, be it sarcastic or not.
User avatar #397 to #83 - gublash (08/22/2014) [-]
I'd be down to right either satirical or serious game reviews. would make opening steam seem less like a dusty book shelf
Credentials associated with writing: taken college English., have spell check, has a steam account.
User avatar #394 to #83 - makomirocket (08/22/2014) [-]
Im up for it. I used to write reviews on my GameTrailers page when I was about 13 and they got some genuinely positive responses, gave it up though because I got bored because I was 13, nevertheless, give me a shot and judge for yourself. I read and watch game journalist stuff daily from GT, IGN, Escapist and Youtube so I'm familiar with all that side of the industry too.

P.S. I am also a Cis, White, Middle Class, Privileged Male
User avatar #392 to #83 - techjoker (08/22/2014) [-]
add me to the list fgt
User avatar #389 to #83 - JipJop (08/22/2014) [-]
I am your guy admin. Look at how dark my name is, this the real **** right here.


PM me with my salary and hours, i'll work on churning out the funniest **** you ever done did read
User avatar #388 to #83 - bothemastaofall (08/22/2014) [-]
I'm the masta of all. Can't beat that.
User avatar #386 to #83 - bustednose (08/22/2014) [-]
I'm not going to promise that I could be funny, but I would certainly like to try if you're in need of writers. Being only 17 I've never written for any magazines before, but it's something that I'm considering looking into in the future, this could be of some use.

I'm normally quite a sarcastic person, so that would probably translate into the reviews, hopefully, maybe, probably not.
User avatar #385 to #83 - dominatorxxx (08/22/2014) [-]
Sounds fun I'd be up for it
User avatar #379 to #83 - lean (08/22/2014) [-]
I haven't bought a game since CS: GO, and I only bought that because I don't want to be left behind again when the bandwagon jumps to GO like they did from 1.6. I would be able to compare any of these new **** tier games to the classics, and explain why they suck huge hairy balls.
User avatar #377 to #83 - sunfag (08/22/2014) [-]
I'd like to do that. I've been working on my own blog on game reviews for about a year
now and I write guides and walkthroughs for a german gaming website. I haven't done
anything satirical up until now, but I'd definitely like to try
User avatar #376 to #83 - meganinja (08/22/2014) [-]
I am a trained professional in both sarcasm and situational humor. I'm in University, and I'm in the process of writing a novel, so I actually do know how to write. I don't have a degree in journalism or whatever, but I don't write reviews as favors for the people I **** , so that puts me above the majority of writers at competitive places.

Also for domains I thought of noreff.com (available). Short for 'no referee' and a slogan could be something along the lines of "noreff.com, leveling out the playing field" "when nobody's watching, you have to do what you can to win. Noreff.com"

Also on a slightly related note, are you looking for writers for bravemiss.com?
#375 to #83 - anonymous (08/22/2014) [-]
Contact me at fnaticalfie@gmail.com.

I'll write game review articles for you; granted I'm given good timescales to do so.
User avatar #370 to #83 - mobbcommunist (08/22/2014) [-]
mobbcommunist
Occupation: Student
Age: 17
Experience:
-As a student i am currently studying interactive media.
-I also have a very political and rather satirical sense of humor.
-I am also a published writer with short stories published in several compilations.
-I am constantly up-to date on politics and game related news.
-I also have an in depth knowledge of politics and history.
-Used to write for The Free Thought Blogs, but got kicked off for being unbiased.

I would love to help make this happen, if your serious that is. But bare in mind that unless you have some sort of gimmick for the site it will just end up like The Free Thought Blogs
#439 to #370 - thewowpimp ONLINE (08/22/2014) [-]
Why did you mention politics so much.

Politics... aren't video games, man.
User avatar #368 to #83 - perform (08/22/2014) [-]
I run a Facebook page where I write stupid reviews for all sorts of things. I write about anime I've watched and some video games I've played.
#363 to #83 - anonymous (08/22/2014) [-]
I frequently mock people on the internet and like to go on long winded rants about things.
I do my research into games and like to focus on games and companies rather than social justice ******** .
My opinions differ enough from the social justice crowd to insight rage but are very reasonable and acceptable and backed by research.
It's the perfect formula for satire.
User avatar #366 to #363 - armwulf (08/22/2014) [-]
Christ forgot to log in.
User avatar #359 to #83 - faggotishshit (08/22/2014) [-]
I would most definitely make articles on the site. I ******* love writing.
User avatar #358 to #83 - bassline (08/22/2014) [-]
I'm white and rude so I can certainly write reviews for you
User avatar #357 to #83 - rossodonavanv (08/22/2014) [-]
Im here if you need a reviewer on games, my email is rossodonavanv@gmail.com,
#355 to #83 - neoteppin (08/22/2014) [-]
I've been playing videogames for as long as i can remember, my reviews will be heavily influenced by the AVGN. I'm a fourth year psychology student and I can talk about how a game makes one feel. I can also connect those aspects with what I have learned throughout my education (with a witty sarcastic twist). I you want, I can share my review of Rust: The Ultimate Mental Illness Simulator.
User avatar #354 to #83 - iphoneguy (08/22/2014) [-]
And for the grammatically correct version
I'd love to voice over some articles if you could use that. I was often told that my voice is rather calm. So if someone want's me to dub something, go ahead
0
#350 to #83 - iphoneguy has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #346 to #83 - burnswhenipee (08/22/2014) [-]
I write for a blog, if that helps. Every saturday usually

thejkvision.blogspot.co.uk/
User avatar #333 to #83 - teaisformugs (08/22/2014) [-]
I used to write a weekly newsletter for a small company I worked in. I know it's not a lot, and not exactly specific, to what you're looking for. But, I play a ********** of video games and browse FJ loads; so I think I've picked up the general sense of humor that is among you guys. Anyways I just think it would be fun to write for and contribute to the site.
User avatar #331 to #83 - hickerydickery ONLINE (08/22/2014) [-]
Let's see...
Ability to come up with ******** on-demand? Check.
Great mastery of the english language? Check.
Passion to write? Check.
Thirst for the wonderful tears of these filthy "womyn"? Check.

Yeah, I think we can come to an arrangement. Open the website, and I'll write **** that'll cause World War III, the war on Feminazism.

Think about it, Admin, it'll be glorious. The only ones who still say whatever the **** they want, no censoring, no bowing down to this ******* bitch, while 4chan, Reddit, and many other websites haven fallen! It's Funnyjunk's time to shine!
User avatar #330 to #83 - captainpatters (08/22/2014) [-]
I'd love to write some stuff, not sure how I would go about submitting it
User avatar #327 to #83 - hecatonchires (08/22/2014) [-]
Like I said in the editor bit I'm an asshole who's good at writting and ************ .
User avatar #325 to #83 - kamusioso (08/22/2014) [-]
I would like to join, 22 years old, studying game design and programming (1 course left to graduate), REALLY hate Zoe Quinn and anyone who would do anything alike, and for some time I was thinking about blogging about games, so this could be that chance
#319 to #83 - anonymous (08/22/2014) [-]
i is very good writer hire me yes?
User avatar #318 to #83 - jukuku (08/22/2014) [-]
Playing Call of Duty Ghosts is similar to walking into a prison. At first you tell yourself there's no way you're ever going there, why the hell would you? Eventually you find yourself strutting through the gates only to realize what you've done. You're already bent over and they're 3 inches deep by the time the tears start to roll.

Call of Duty: Ghosts features an amazing new non-improvement in next gen-graphics, realistic fish AI and attachments. Truthfully playing a game of Call of Duty Ghost's online is much like going comatose, you wake up 4 hours later only to realize that you've just wasted all that time sitting on your couch and performing a monotonous task of running straight at the enemy only to be shot. I'm being unfair though, sometimes they come from behind too (see, it's a dynamically changing experience!) but that usually evokes the memories of having walked into this hell, which now causes you to well with tears much more quickly than it did the first time. You're sure to enjoy the philosophical perspective of Call of Duty's vibrant community. Surely Edgar Allen Poe would be proud of the new dialogue our youngest and brightest have become accustomed to using, though I suspect his admiration for a twelve year old screaming " ****** " may be more related to living in the first half of the 1800s than it is to being a poet.

Now, you may be saying to yourself "That's not fair! You can leave the game at any time."

Well, yes, once you gain your wits and realize your mistake they'll let you leave but like prisons in America, the re-offending (it truly is a crime to buy Call of Duty) rate is something like 75%, before you know it you've fallen for the new marketing campaign, soon enough you'll be greeted by those familiar faces as you walk in, the tears will stream faster than ever this time too. They promised it would be different, but like a kid being lured by a strange, shirtless man into their van for the fourth time, you have only yourself to blame.
User avatar #323 to #318 - jukuku (08/22/2014) [-]
I used every character space and I am not going to bother to write multiple posts for this.

Let me know how **** it is and I'll respond with something less than witty, I'm sure of it.

I have absolutely no experience writing other than being creatively offensive and arguing on the internet so I am sure I have a great insight into the gaming community.

I read a lot, I'm abrasive and I don't eat glue, I'm the writer for you, Addy.
User avatar #347 to #323 - iphoneguy (08/22/2014) [-]
I found this pretty amusing
User avatar #348 to #347 - jukuku (08/22/2014) [-]
Thanks, I guess?

But seriously, thanks.

Anything you didn't like?
User avatar #352 to #348 - iphoneguy (08/22/2014) [-]
Actually no!
It was really well written and I wholeheartedly agree
User avatar #353 to #352 - jukuku (08/22/2014) [-]
Thanks, hopefully I'll be able to get it on the site.
User avatar #310 to #83 - eddio (08/22/2014) [-]
Ive written a few short horror stories before, and i fackin love writing in general. PUT ME DOWN AS SLAPPED AND GIDDY!

Seriously I would love to write for that site
User avatar #307 to #83 - Sunset (08/22/2014) [-]
am a reviewer on a website, have been here for 4 and a half years, read a lot, and learn quickly
User avatar #301 to #83 - ulaza (08/22/2014) [-]
I'd like to write some stuff.
Won the "Golden Griffel" at my school for story writing.
User avatar #300 to #83 - drastronomy (08/22/2014) [-]
Got top grades in english, have a steam guide with a couple of thousand unique views, and i am reasonably good at spotting pros and cons.

My friends also tell me i am funny, and my sense of sarcasm is in overdrive
User avatar #296 to #83 - ishalltroll (08/22/2014) [-]
Would totally do this ****

I'm german

User avatar #294 to #83 - rogueninja (08/22/2014) [-]
I'm kinda good but I haven't actually had much practice aside from school.
User avatar #291 to #83 - biscuitsunited (08/22/2014) [-]
I'm Highly efficient at taking the piss subtly, I'd help you with this
User avatar #290 to #83 - captaingangplank (08/22/2014) [-]
I'm African male with an extensive steam library and very good literary skills.
TL;DR I'm an educated African man
User avatar #285 to #83 - secondfunction (08/22/2014) [-]
A review of sanic ball. A buddy of mine recently recommended a game called sanic ball to me and let me tell you I have not put it down. If i had to describe this game in a word i would call it a masterpiece. It perfectly emulates being a ball while rolling around at the speed of sound. The controls are great the sound track is amazing and they must have used an unreleased valve physics engine because the friction, gravity, momentum and stopping are the most realist i have ever seen. Another thing to comment on are the easter eggs. If you type ``shrek`` or `MLG` in the text box at the start of the game you play in swamp or call of duty montage parody mode. I could amost smell the onions and euphoria when i played as everyone`s favorite ogre.

Fedora/10 Must play to live.
#276 to #83 - padorak (08/22/2014) [-]
If it means anything I used to write satire constantly because I'm great at englash. I mean I was the absolute bombshell when I was in my writing class that I took several times and made straight A's in. My English teachers were constantly praising my on my ability to write satire because I'm so good at it. Because I love having to pretend to like something to write about it and make confusing reviews about games. Who doesn't love reading some cynical teenagers perfectly unbiased review on an obviously great game. But it's so godawful when you have to play amazing games and give great reviews becuase everybody hates when they have to do something they like.   
   
I actually really do love satire, I would be happy to help if you want me to.   
I also play a lot of games, it's been a long time since I played anything on steam but I do play an ass load of console games.   
   
I'd love to take part in this if you are all right with that addie.
If it means anything I used to write satire constantly because I'm great at englash. I mean I was the absolute bombshell when I was in my writing class that I took several times and made straight A's in. My English teachers were constantly praising my on my ability to write satire because I'm so good at it. Because I love having to pretend to like something to write about it and make confusing reviews about games. Who doesn't love reading some cynical teenagers perfectly unbiased review on an obviously great game. But it's so godawful when you have to play amazing games and give great reviews becuase everybody hates when they have to do something they like.

I actually really do love satire, I would be happy to help if you want me to.
I also play a lot of games, it's been a long time since I played anything on steam but I do play an ass load of console games.

I'd love to take part in this if you are all right with that addie.
User avatar #274 to #83 - deerdevil (08/22/2014) [-]
I'm a white CSI male with under educated on pretty much every subject, I hate everything that my $650 gaming PC can't play.
#273 to #83 - edgeworthy (08/22/2014) [-]
If you'd allow a few user to write, I'd be sure to make some good damn bad reviews.
If you'd allow a few user to write, I'd be sure to make some good damn bad reviews.
#272 to #83 - FlyingButt (08/22/2014) [-]
I haven't done anything like this before but I think I could pull it off. Or are you saying to get the experience that this job offers, I need prior experience?
#267 to #83 - brawndotheseadrago (08/22/2014) [-]
I'm 19 years old, I'm a sophomore in college, and I've been playing videogames since I was almost 2 years old. That being said, I've played every console since the Genesis, and gaming experience is nothing that I lack. Several years ago, I began looking into legitimate videogame journalism and gained an extremely strict idea on what makes a game, "good." I'm almost level 250 on FunnyJunk, almost purely from comments, which is the only solid proof that I have a sense of humor. I implore you, however, my friends often tell me that I'm one of the funniest people they know, as I'm known for dark humor and saying the first thing that ever comes to mind.
I assure you, I won't be a waste of your time if you're interested in my becoming a writer, and I'm willing to play anything for a laugh. That's the only reason I'm playing Dead Space 3 at all.
User avatar #266 to #83 - dreadstoneate (08/22/2014) [-]
I would love to, but I am going back to school and gibing up ghemes for this upcoming semester, so if you get this train rolling, I will jump on some time down the road.
#265 to #83 - BigDoktor (08/22/2014) [-]
I'm an aspiring writer/journalist. I pitch ideas for Cracked.com's workshop. Nothing published, but I get feedback which is nice. I've taken journalism in high school and was a part of my school's Comedy Sportz group. I consider English one of my best subjects and received high marks in my high school and college classes. I tried to get my own video game news parody site Gamingnewsheadlines.com started but it's no longer live (if you want to take that domain it's yours). So I have a lot of ideas for such a site. If you would be so gracious to test me, give me a news headline or video game to review and I'll be more than happy to mock one up for you.
I'm an aspiring writer/journalist. I pitch ideas for Cracked.com's workshop. Nothing published, but I get feedback which is nice. I've taken journalism in high school and was a part of my school's Comedy Sportz group. I consider English one of my best subjects and received high marks in my high school and college classes. I tried to get my own video game news parody site Gamingnewsheadlines.com started but it's no longer live (if you want to take that domain it's yours). So I have a lot of ideas for such a site. If you would be so gracious to test me, give me a news headline or video game to review and I'll be more than happy to mock one up for you.
User avatar #261 to #83 - sharklazers (08/22/2014) [-]
I can give it a go, my email is jywakefield@yahoo.com and my skype is joseph.rules1
User avatar #260 to #83 - createdjustnow ONLINE (08/22/2014) [-]
This game is an indie spinoff of the popular series "The Elder Scrolls". this game has been revamped with bet6ter graphics and has serious mod support. With the major focus on the game being the mining and blacksmithing factors pulled straight out of skyrim, the game has been titled "MineCraft" and demonstrates how cities and groups of people are the folly of man by making you the only human left after a nuclear fallout, and by showing your struggle with it's name that is based off of the German book "MeinKampf". This game's storyline and tear jerking ending left me with a sense of awe after completion of the main story. i would rate this game a strong 8.5/10 it's like skyrim with blocks
User avatar #262 to #260 - createdjustnow ONLINE (08/22/2014) [-]
imagine what i could write when i'm actually awake and thinking
#255 to #83 - mileka (08/22/2014) [-]
I got a B in English
User avatar #256 to #83 - blanketboss (08/22/2014) [-]
I'd like to try and since I'm studying journalism i'm pretty sure I can write decent articles, and I'm also German.
#252 to #83 - ibaiapellaniz (08/22/2014) [-]
I wanna I wanna I wanna
I'm always the one between friends to recommend games and tell them why they are worth but the community in some sites for it is horrible and in youtube its meh.

I wanna I wanna I wanna I wanna
User avatar #250 to #83 - ssjkirby (08/22/2014) [-]
I already have two games I want to write reviews about. I have been playing video games since I was 6 years old and have owned a lot of game systems. ( nintendo, super nintendo, nintendo 64, gamecube, gameboy color, GBA, sega genesis, sega dreamcast, PS1, PS2, Xbox, Xbox 360) I have probably played over 300 games. I am trained in gorilla warfare and am the top sniper in my Gears of War 3 clan. You are nothing to me but just another noob. I will write articles so funny your sides will leave orbit. You're ******* dead, addy.

Also I got an A- in English 111 and an A in English 112 so, I'm pretty hot **** over in the English department.
User avatar #245 to #83 - retardeddinosaur (08/22/2014) [-]
I'm actually studying journalism (in a few days I'll start my second course), and I can make a game review. Satirical game reviews should be a peace of cake to write after a hard day of work.
So...when do we start?
#242 to #83 - zaperzero (08/22/2014) [-]
I'm a highschool student (senior) with moderate writing history in roleplays with others.  I have a completed novel length story written out, but the page it's saved on died out of date and I can't access it unless I dig around a bunch, which is rather annoying.  As for anything satirical in nature, I once wrote a horrendously in joke infused story on a webpage that is now also down, which was done my freshman year.  I also spend a lot of time discussing specific games with others on FJ, such as The Binding of Isaac.  If you PM me I can get back to you with a completed (or at least rough draft of) parody review of Isaac and possibly one of Demon's Souls.  Being a highschool student with both a boyfriend and girlfriend and a healthy friendship with two others, I have to say, I have an assload of time to post.
I'm a highschool student (senior) with moderate writing history in roleplays with others. I have a completed novel length story written out, but the page it's saved on died out of date and I can't access it unless I dig around a bunch, which is rather annoying. As for anything satirical in nature, I once wrote a horrendously in joke infused story on a webpage that is now also down, which was done my freshman year. I also spend a lot of time discussing specific games with others on FJ, such as The Binding of Isaac. If you PM me I can get back to you with a completed (or at least rough draft of) parody review of Isaac and possibly one of Demon's Souls. Being a highschool student with both a boyfriend and girlfriend and a healthy friendship with two others, I have to say, I have an assload of time to post.
#235 to #83 - dinosauraids (08/22/2014) [-]
I'd enjoy being a satirical writer, spent a whole year in high school basically studying satire for English Extension 1. Fun stuff.   
   
I've gamed a lot, but I know I haven't played everything.
I'd enjoy being a satirical writer, spent a whole year in high school basically studying satire for English Extension 1. Fun stuff.

I've gamed a lot, but I know I haven't played everything.
#232 to #83 - farted (08/22/2014) [-]
I'd try that 			****		 out. I'm not any kind of English major but my professors always loved me for my writing. Given the fact that I tried anyways, I'm a lazy 			******		.
I'd try that **** out. I'm not any kind of English major but my professors always loved me for my writing. Given the fact that I tried anyways, I'm a lazy ****** .
User avatar #228 to #83 - kylebro (08/22/2014) [-]
I write news reports sometimes for a semi-popular fansite for a popular video game series.
User avatar #211 to #83 - snowykiwa ONLINE (08/22/2014) [-]
Window 98 runable
User avatar #208 to #83 - derpwolfies (08/22/2014) [-]
I may be a nobody here but I can totally help with this. I'd have to see like what you have in mind but I can totally emulate whatever style we go for. I'm guessing it'd be like the Onion for videogames?


My credentials are that I've played games for literally all of my life. (Nearly 17 years
I also write rants about things that don't matter a lot, like hypocrisy. I have a feeling that would come in handy a lot. I've also taken classes for media stuff back in highschool so that may also help. I tend to include language in my **** , but I can work around that easily.

More credentials? I'm a professional lil' bitch, an artist, and I have absolutely nothing better to do. I'm not a white-knight, a femnazi, a neckbeard, etc... so yeah. Also my first language is english.

Will work for recognition. <3
User avatar #216 to #208 - derpwolfies (08/22/2014) [-]
18, not 17. damn keyboard.
User avatar #200 to #83 - blanery (08/22/2014) [-]
I write articles for fun in my spare time, I studied Video Game Design at college which covered the Journalism and the Video Game market it general. I have some idea's for features and wouldn't mind being an editor, but I'd prefer to write articles.
User avatar #194 to #83 - mightypoggers (08/22/2014) [-]
I can write honest straight forward and slightly funny game reviews.
I'd much rather do video reviews though.
User avatar #186 to #83 - faimbot (08/22/2014) [-]
Call your site

GamingJunktion.net or something. but Junktion needs to be in there.
User avatar #185 to #83 - powerbook (08/22/2014) [-]
skilled *********** reporting in
played psp
played nintendo
played gameboy
played pc
played playstation (all)
played gamecube

if you're making it, you should make sections about different consoles, make it like the onion.com legit looking like kinda way
User avatar #184 to #83 - faimbot (08/22/2014) [-]
I'll do it.
My credentials are as follows
I lift

Seriously though, I am your man, hit me up when the site goes live.
User avatar #182 to #83 - superflyingcookie (08/22/2014) [-]
I've always wanted to be a satirical journalist. If there aren't any spaces left, I can work as a site 'Pre-reader' and pre-read the articles for any mistakes before they're released.
User avatar #178 to #83 - trojandetected (08/22/2014) [-]
Considering all i do is game and soon to be starting a IT course i would love to my glorious leader.
I read alot my most recent book would be swan song.
I enjoy long walks on the beach , claissica music and the last two statements was complete ******** .
After college game journalism is what i inspire to do as i am to retarded to programme games.
User avatar #188 to #178 - trojandetected (08/22/2014) [-]
Own a Wii U so could review / articles about this majestic unloved child.
User avatar #197 to #188 - trojandetected (08/22/2014) [-]
Also Collect achievment / Trophys could do guides on games how to catch em all.
User avatar #175 to #83 - thewebspinner (08/22/2014) [-]
I can write you some ******** articles about games and **** .

Credentials: not a feminist, not a bitchy white knight, not a fedora wearing atheist
Can read and write English.
Play a **** ton of indie games.
#171 to #83 - unrelatedpugs (08/22/2014) [-]
im very interested in ************ its what i do best
User avatar #164 to #83 - arbitraryarmor (08/22/2014) [-]
Why the **** not. I'm a good writer and love me some scathing reviews.
User avatar #163 to #83 - thathorse (08/22/2014) [-]
I'll write some goofy reviews although whether or not they're funny really depend on the users, Although I recommend getting a few "Authors" Sort of like how you have Mods, but not the Mods to write it instead of any random user. Although if that was your original intent then disregard my comment You probably will anyway
#160 to #83 - jaythreetee (08/22/2014) [-]
I can write some **** , but does it mean i have to bang joshlol phanact admin and 2 more guys in order to get it there?
User avatar #159 to #83 - thedippestofshits (08/22/2014) [-]
Tough i'm not natively english, I used to write write for my faculty's monthly magazine and I've had pretty much perfect scores on most english based classes. I own a high end pc and a ps4 and, as an impulsive buyer, have blown way too much cash on vidya. Also I'd say humor is my strong point if that's what you're looking for.

I like the sound of Gamejunk btw. Have this tiny hunch that "funnygames" might be taken already anyway
#156 to #83 - cloymax (08/22/2014) [-]
I'm a decent writer and play a lot of video games, mainly on PC and dated by a few years, but I'm so incredibly lazy that I likely wouldn't do anything on it.
I'm a decent writer and play a lot of video games, mainly on PC and dated by a few years, but I'm so incredibly lazy that I likely wouldn't do anything on it.
User avatar #148 to #83 - webeballin (08/22/2014) [-]
I only have experience writing pissy comments on stupid websites, but they're usually clever and I'm willing to get really depraved.
#147 to #83 - dividerbyzero ONLINE (08/22/2014) [-]
I typed up a new comment before reading this, so I'll repost.   
   
&quot;I actually write the occasional review on a Blogger page as a hobby. They're serious, but if you want satire/humor I can provide that as well.   
   
dividerscorner.blogspot.com/   
   
The latest article is how I write now.&quot;
I typed up a new comment before reading this, so I'll repost.

"I actually write the occasional review on a Blogger page as a hobby. They're serious, but if you want satire/humor I can provide that as well.

dividerscorner.blogspot.com/

The latest article is how I write now."
User avatar #143 to #83 - gitanisme (08/22/2014) [-]
I could give it a try, because a video games reviews website without any censorship would be great. You should do that instead of your 2chan thingy.
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#141 to #83 - gitanisme has deleted their comment [-]
#131 to #83 - idontcarefornames (08/22/2014) [-]
I wrote some articles for minor websites and newspapers. Also I'm german, so I'm good at being offensive and at meeting deadlines. Basically I could also write everthing as an angry german game journalist.
#831 to #131 - trailoftears ONLINE (08/23/2014) [-]
Can we be the angry german video game Kameraden? Like all those other ****** review teams except even ******** and more nazi.
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#659 to #131 - thewaronbeingcool has deleted their comment [-]
#510 to #131 - anonymous (08/22/2014) [-]
You certainly didn't meet the "Moscow by Summer" deadline.
#125 to #83 - mentlgen ONLINE (08/22/2014) [-]
TrueKoreaReviews (TKR)

It's an amazing idea! I wouldn't mind being a writer either, if you need some examples then I'll write one up and throw it your way.
User avatar #121 to #83 - youngneil (08/22/2014) [-]
You know what, **** it. I would like to be a writer. I have access to many game consoles, and a gaming PC, so I would have plenty of games to write about. Writing and playing video games are actually some of my favorite hobbies, so I don't see why I wouldn't do this. I also take bribes in the form of sex, so if anyone needs some positive reviews for their games, I'm the 6th guy.
#115 to #83 - drego (08/22/2014) [-]
I like to review games with an objective viewpoint that focuses on the core elements of video game structure. I've been playing video games since I first met Disney's Hercules (1997) and fell in love with the PC master race. Though I'm not the high pedestal to not play consoles. I will play game and examine little to no bias (no journalist can disclaim full absence of prejudice, no matter the level of professionalism) I enjoy writing in general and I think it would be a great experience to dissect some of the great titles of our time/ lesser know gems or ********** .

I've also been apart of this site since green Funny Junk and grew up with reposts throughout my childhood.

Anyways this is all really serious and stuff so here's Richard Keister
Business Dick Butt
User avatar #123 to #115 - drego (08/22/2014) [-]
Oh and freemonkeyballs "gamejunk.com" had a nice ring to it.
User avatar #105 to #83 - seratyo (08/22/2014) [-]
Yo I could give it a go. I have completed a writing copy part of my Media BTEC class, passing it with full distinctions (That's the highest grade you can get on a BTEC) and I regularly read parody articles (P4R, Onion) aswell as "genuine, unbiased" gaming articles so I could give it a shot.

I've actually wanted to do this for a while, but have had no idea how to get into being a writer at places and don't feel the motivation to start a tumblr or blogspot...
User avatar #98 to #83 - dazartimm (08/22/2014) [-]
My only credentials are that I have been playing video games since the Sega Genesis, and my main hobby is spewing my opinions on the internet. I have more than enough time to write a few articles, if you'll have me.
User avatar #96 to #83 - pokemonstheshiz (08/22/2014) [-]
I'm excellent at shilling bs essays that seem good. I guess I'm a decent writer.
Relatively funny, at least I'd like to think so.
I can review low end pc games, as my video card is ********* .
I have a high school diploma so I guess I'm on par with the target audience
User avatar #95 to #83 - gameshredder (08/22/2014) [-]
I'm able to come up with ******** on the fly. I'm able to make ridiculous metaphors and can relate anything to nothing and nothing to everything. You've got a game? I've heard of it! You've got a game? I can make it sound like I've looked at the title screen and wrote a solid D+ review on it because that's what I aim to do.

I can go out of my way to make garbage sound like heaven and heaven to sound like ******** garbage than the garbage thrown at me.
#257 to #95 - apologies (08/22/2014) [-]
The ability to make ridiculous metaphors is about as useful as a weasel in a cardboard t-shirt.

However, I like your garbage style. Thumb for you!
User avatar #110 to #95 - gameshredder (08/22/2014) [-]
I also own most new consoles and a high end PC computer (with daddy's credit card packed into steam so I can get all the new game!) so basically any game is perfectly in reach.
User avatar #94 to #83 - TheAnonLord (08/22/2014) [-]
make all of VGB gaymer gawds
User avatar #90 to #83 - glasher (08/22/2014) [-]
Andrew Duran
high school diploma Antartica chilena
current college student at Miami-Dade
age 21
long history of playing videogames from consoles to PC
User avatar #86 to #83 - iwasawa (08/22/2014) [-]
I'm a pretty good writer, if I'd say so myself. Studying to become an English teacher so grammar and all that would not be an issue and I had a writing blog until about a few months ago which just kinda died off. I can write pretty much anything in any style and have it be interesting enough to keep on reading.

I can write something up as an example if you desire/would be interested in having me as a writer.
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