Shit People Say In Courtrooms 2. . Shit People say In Courtrooms 2 Lawyer: Can you describe what the person who attacked you looked like? Witness: No. He was we Shit People Say In Courtrooms 2 say Lawyer: Can you describe what the person who attacked looked like? Witness: No He was we
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Shit People Say In Courtrooms 2

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Shit People say In
Courtrooms 2
Lawyer: Can you describe what the
person who attacked you looked
like?
Witness: No. He was wearing a mask.
Lawyer: What was he wearing under
the mask?
Witness: er... his face?
Lawyer: What happened then?
Witness: He told me, ‘I have to kill
you because you can identify me.'
Lawyer: Did he kill you?
Lawyer: Now sir, I' m sure you are an
intelligent and honest mana-
Witness: Thank you. Ifi weren' t
under oath, I' d return the compliment
Lawyer: You were there until the time
you left, is that true?
Lawyer: Were you alone or by
yourself?
Lawyer: You went on a rather
elaborate honeymoon, didn' t you?
Witness: I went to Europe, sir.
Lawyer: And did you take your
new wife?
Witness: No, I thought we needed
some tme apart.
Lawyer: You say that the stairs went
down to the basement?
Witness: Yes.
Lawyer: And these stairs, did they
go up also?
Lawyer: Have you lived in this town all
your life?
Witness: Not yet,
Lawyer: Were you acquainted with the
deceased?
Witness: Yes sir.
Lawyer: Before or after he died?
Witness: You can' t be serious.
Lawyer: When he went, had you gone
and had she, if she wanted to and
were able, for the time being
excluding all the restraints on her
not to go, gone also, would he have
brought you, meaning you and she,
with him to the station?
Other Lawyer: Objection. That
question should be taken out and
shot.
...
+1600
Views: 73450 Submitted: 01/31/2014
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[ 118 comments ]
> hey anon, wanna give your opinion?
asd
User avatar #13 - atsshole [OP]
Reply +53 123456789123345869
(01/31/2014) [+] (2 replies)
stickied by atsshole
User avatar #105 to #13 - ftdragneel
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(02/01/2014) [-]
When is Part 3 coming?
User avatar #14 to #13 - atsshole [OP]
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(01/31/2014) [-]
if*
User avatar #120 - atsshole [OP]
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(02/01/2014) [-]
stickied by atsshole
#5 - hydrant
Reply +228 123456789123345869
(01/31/2014) [-]
WitnessesFW after hearing the last question.
WitnessesFW after hearing the last question.
User avatar #102 to #5 - greenwithenvy
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(02/01/2014) [-]
I assume it's something close to "when he went, would he have taken you and the girl to the station?" but the girl more than likely is under police restraint/in jail or dead, which is why he said the bit about "excluding restraints on her". they HAVE to be this technical because you have to phrase everything in a "in the past" way while talking about what you presently remember.
User avatar #52 to #5 - dangergooch
Reply +4 123456789123345869
(02/01/2014) [-]
What... what is this from?
#56 to #52 - anon id: af782aaf
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(02/01/2014) [-]
Tim and Erics awesome show
#8 - xnachelpor
Reply +111 123456789123345869
(01/31/2014) [-]
When you picture Steve Carell saying these things, it just adds a little extra to it
#10 - xxTheJesterxx
Reply +108 123456789123345869
(01/31/2014) [-]
Last question
Last question
User avatar #19 - chuckstein
Reply +59 123456789123345869
(01/31/2014) [-]
OBJECTION!
"Have you lived in this town all your life?"
and
"You say the stairs went down to the basement... And these stairs, did they go up also?"
Are both perfectly reasonable questions. Stairs can go up multiple floors, and asking if you've lived in a town for your whole life is perfectly normal.
User avatar #44 to #19 - spaceballer
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(02/01/2014) [-]
agreed I read these and thought why is a perfectly normal question in this comp
#61 to #19 - junahi
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(02/01/2014) [-]
I agree with the first one.
User avatar #112 to #19 - kanpai
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(02/01/2014) [-]
it wasn't a stupid question but a witty answer
User avatar #70 to #19 - captainfalchion
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(02/01/2014) [-]
To be fair, it's not "Stupid Questions Lawyers Ask" it's "**** People Say In Courtrooms". They're here cause their responses are funny.
#121 to #19 - passwordismine
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(02/01/2014) [-]
User avatar #21 to #19 - KayRed
Reply +9 123456789123345869
(01/31/2014) [-]
The all of your life one is funny because of the response, but I do agree with you in that while a lot of them sound stupid, there is a reason behind it. They are trying to get the most clear, coherent answer possible for a lot of these.
#72 - seriouslyblack
Reply +46 123456789123345869
(02/01/2014) [-]
"If I weren't under oath, I'd return the compliment"   
   
damn that was ice cold
"If I weren't under oath, I'd return the compliment"

damn that was ice cold
User avatar #91 to #72 - awesomanium
Reply -1 123456789123345869
(02/01/2014) [-]
Well, I'd say it was supa hot
#7 - teranin
Reply +33 123456789123345869
(01/31/2014) [-]
oh god yes moar
#29 to #7 - procrasturbate
Reply +8 123456789123345869
(02/01/2014) [-]
I know what you've been watching.
#45 to #7 - trollmobile
Reply +11 123456789123345869
(02/01/2014) [-]
i'm actually kinda ashamed to say i know the sauce of that image a bit too well.
#67 to #7 - billywonka
Reply +16 123456789123345869
(02/01/2014) [-]
Comment Picture
User avatar #9 to #7 - teranin
Reply +23 123456789123345869
(01/31/2014) [-]
someone's gonna want sauce on that picture, it's Kuroinu Kedakaki Seijo wa Hakudaku ni Somaru
User avatar #49 to #9 - perform
Reply +14 123456789123345869
(02/01/2014) [-]
It's a pain in the ass to highlight that thing. So here it is: Kuroinu Kedakaki Seijo wa Hakudaku ni Somaru.
User avatar #74 to #49 - nought
Reply +7 123456789123345869
(02/01/2014) [-]
not if u hav skill omg
#78 to #49 - anon id: 0396953f
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(02/01/2014) [-]
******* thank you!
User avatar #69 to #49 - zonryu
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(02/01/2014) [-]
thank you
#66 - zeusx
Reply +29 123456789123345869
(02/01/2014) [-]
dat last one tho
#35 - warlockrichard
Reply +20 123456789123345869
(02/01/2014) [-]
last one
#60 - jonathankitty
Reply +16 123456789123345869
(02/01/2014) [-]
Could you imagine if this were all the same lawyer?