Shit People Say In Courtrooms 2. . Shit People say In Courtrooms 2 Lawyer: Can you describe what the person who attacked you looked like? Witness: No. He was we
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Shit People Say In Courtrooms 2

Shit People say In
Courtrooms 2
Lawyer: Can you describe what the
person who attacked you looked
like?
Witness: No. He was wearing a mask.
Lawyer: What was he wearing under
the mask?
Witness: er... his face?
Lawyer: What happened then?
Witness: He told me, ‘I have to kill
you because you can identify me.'
Lawyer: Did he kill you?
Lawyer: Now sir, I' m sure you are an
intelligent and honest mana-
Witness: Thank you. Ifi weren' t
under oath, I' d return the compliment
Lawyer: You were there until the time
you left, is that true?
Lawyer: Were you alone or by
yourself?
Lawyer: You went on a rather
elaborate honeymoon, didn' t you?
Witness: I went to Europe, sir.
Lawyer: And did you take your
new wife?
Witness: No, I thought we needed
some tme apart.
Lawyer: You say that the stairs went
down to the basement?
Witness: Yes.
Lawyer: And these stairs, did they
go up also?
Lawyer: Have you lived in this town all
your life?
Witness: Not yet,
Lawyer: Were you acquainted with the
deceased?
Witness: Yes sir.
Lawyer: Before or after he died?
Witness: You can' t be serious.
Lawyer: When he went, had you gone
and had she, if she wanted to and
were able, for the time being
excluding all the restraints on her
not to go, gone also, would he have
brought you, meaning you and she,
with him to the station?
Other Lawyer: Objection. That
question should be taken out and
shot.
...
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Views: 70555
Favorited: 245
Submitted: 01/31/2014
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Comments(118):

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User avatar #13 - atsshole (01/31/2014) [+] (2 replies)
stickied by atsshole
#5 - hydrant ONLINE (01/31/2014) [+] (3 replies)
WitnessesFW after hearing the last question.
WitnessesFW after hearing the last question.
#8 - xnachelpor (01/31/2014) [-]
When you picture Steve Carell saying these things, it just adds a little extra to it
#10 - xxTheJesterxx ONLINE (01/31/2014) [-]
Last question
Last question
User avatar #19 - chuckstein (01/31/2014) [+] (6 replies)
OBJECTION!
"Have you lived in this town all your life?"
and
"You say the stairs went down to the basement... And these stairs, did they go up also?"
Are both perfectly reasonable questions. Stairs can go up multiple floors, and asking if you've lived in a town for your whole life is perfectly normal.
#72 - seriouslyblack (02/01/2014) [+] (1 reply)
"If I weren't under oath, I'd return the compliment"   
   
damn that was ice cold
"If I weren't under oath, I'd return the compliment"

damn that was ice cold
#7 - teranin ONLINE (01/31/2014) [+] (8 replies)
oh god yes moar
#66 - zeusx (02/01/2014) [-]
dat last one tho
#35 - warlockrichard ONLINE (02/01/2014) [-]
last one
#60 - jonathankitty (02/01/2014) [-]
Could you imagine if this were all the same lawyer?
#83 - nimithenimi (02/01/2014) [-]
If I weren't under oath, Id return the favourOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH
#68 - GeneralLeeInsane ONLINE (02/01/2014) [-]
That last one.   
I wish I'd have been there to see that one.
That last one.
I wish I'd have been there to see that one.
#113 - zombiesexsymbol (02/01/2014) [-]
MFW last quote
#28 - carbohydrates (02/01/2014) [-]
The last one... I've been speaking English my whole life, but that was the most bass-awkwards way to phrase that question.
I realize the English language can be hard to pick up; and this kind of shit doesn't make it easier.
Basically: "When he went to the station, would he have brought you and her, if there weren't restraints against her going?"
Still a bit of an idiotic question, there's restraints against her going, so why would he bring her? He clearly didn't, which is why you asked...
#16 - I Am Monkey (01/31/2014) [-]
Comment Picture
#12 - dgarcia (01/31/2014) [-]
Comment Picture
#93 - avatarsarefornoobs (02/01/2014) [-]
judge's fw
#58 - pwnfrnzy (02/01/2014) [-]
Lawer's FW.
#17 - stoicnotion (01/31/2014) [-]
There's no way...just no way
There's no way...just no way
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