She doesn't even use a train. Trains were the founding fathers of rapid transport across land. Fat people stories thread? Fat people stories thread Diying to LA
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She doesn't even use a train

Trains were the founding fathers of rapid transport across land

Fat people stories thread?
Fat people stories thread
Diying to LA incindary
ddidn' t myself
aboard plane
********* , window seat
wwhatever, pulled an so I might be able to sleep
4 through boarding
shear an ominous rumbling, shrieks ofthe damned
portal gapes open. disgorges the most corpulent domitius mass of
humanity I' ever seen
Know with it' s seated next to me
wmm
suicide by air marshal
Mt spends five minutes wheezing and gasping like a landed fish trying to get it' s bag into the overhead
append said five minutes wondering how in the unholy hell it fit through the fuselage door, through the crew spaces and down the aisle
sit settles, wave of pestilent feesh immediately invades my seat space
Notice a horrifyingly liquid snorting sound everythime seconds
************* sounds like it' s trying to vacuum a pool up it' s nose
Tryto reach bag to get ipod so I can drown this fresh hell out
ccan' t unless I want to prop up rolls spilling down the seat and towards me like a desperateness escape a caveman
allmost start to cry on the realization I' m trapped like this forthe next 4 hours
putrid spectacle has to get up and retrieve food from it' s bag
clunge forward. scrabble quickload get ipod out
append the next 4 hours huddled against the window, blaring rammstein, and radiating hostility and disgust
rafter milennia spent trapped, finally dayboard
sees look of sheer, visceral hatred shot at and we share our mutual horror
...
+323
Views: 17069
Favorited: 22
Submitted: 07/04/2014
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#1 - puredeliciousness (07/04/2014) [-]
"Like a miner trying desperately to escape a cave-in"
"Like a miner trying desperately to escape a cave-in"
#3 - therealpokemon (07/04/2014) [+] (1 reply)
****					 yeah, Rammstein.
**** yeah, Rammstein.
User avatar #9 - nought ONLINE (07/05/2014) [-]
Thumbs up for wide vocabulary
User avatar #2 - WastedDrudge (07/04/2014) [-]
"vaccum a pool of diarrhea up it's nose" i ******* lost it haha
#5 - twilightdusk (07/04/2014) [-]
Should have had it in a pocket man.
User avatar #16 - mrtwilightsparkle (07/05/2014) [+] (1 reply)
Protip for people who have this problem travelling: Tell the steward/stewardess. People like this can actually be evicted from the plane for general lack of hygiene, and are also required to buy as many tickets as they need in regards to the seats they take up. Airlines actually do care a good deal about customer service, and in such situations they are not willing to accommodate such people.
#17 - girrafalopegis ONLINE (07/05/2014) [+] (2 replies)
Related.
#21 - roboclown (07/05/2014) [+] (2 replies)
ill just leave this here
#6 - psychotec (07/05/2014) [-]
oh my god no
#7 - mrhaihoang (07/05/2014) [+] (2 replies)
#10 - mangostormlegend (07/05/2014) [-]
"eldritch portal gates open, disgorges the most corpulent ausea-inducing comitous mass of humanity I've ever seen"
#25 - autoxx (07/05/2014) [-]
48 hours of travel after my travel agent ****** up a connection I finally get on a flight from vancouver to calgary.
It had been a **** trip with **** people smelling of curry **** ...
I see Ham Planet Express waddling up the aisle.
Sweet zombie baby Hesus, please don't let it beach beside me.
Yup, lucky me. She promptly fell asleep, emitting a sound akin to a locomotive cold start.
Then she used my shoulder as a pillow...

I dropped a couple bucks in australian change down her open craw while she slept but she just ate it and kept blarrglarring.

M acutal FW
User avatar #23 - runescapewasgood (07/05/2014) [-]
why is a whale riding an airplane...
#18 - splunky (07/05/2014) [-]
Since I am super classy. My freshman year of college I didn't have a car, so on breaks I would have to take the Greyhound home. One Thanksgiving I was taking a night bus back to school. Holiday buses are always packed and I was the last one on. There was one seat left on the bus, next to an enormous black lady that took up 2 and a half seats. She had been on the bus for 3 days; smelled like sewage. So I had to sit sideways in my chair for 7 hours with her fat pressing me against the armrest so tightly that I bruised both of my hips. That bus had "comfort" U shaped headrests but because I was so far over I was stuck against the raised end, getting the nice neck kink. All of this while she slept like a baby next to me.
User avatar #14 - Underground (07/05/2014) [-]
I recently went on a trip from Louisiana to Ottawa, Canada and had three diff flights to get on, all of which were luckily just hour long flights. I was so fortunate to not have been sat by a golgotha. I was at one point sat next to a baby but the kid was pretty well behaved and smelled nice so meh.
#13 - anonymous (07/05/2014) [-]
Megadeth is better
User avatar #11 - Sabre (07/05/2014) [+] (1 reply)
To be fair, as far as the title is concerned, a 4-hour flight is most of the way across the country. No one in their right mind would take the train for that distance.
#4 - pentol (07/04/2014) [-]
this, fellas, is the height of comedy.
talking about your bad experiences on a flight. truly inspirational.
i did enjoy it though. the colorful imagery is always pleasant, even if this lacked the punchline, or deviously clever plan coming together perfectly.
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