Sex Types. . 5 Kinds of Sex 1. The first is Smurf Sex. This happens during the honeymoon period, you both keep doing it until you' re blue in the face. 2. The s
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Sex Types

5 Kinds of Sex
1. The first is Smurf Sex. This happens
during the honeymoon period, you both
keep doing it until you' re blue in the face.
2. The second is Kitchen Sex. This is at the
beginning of the marriage, you' ll have sex
anywhere, anytime, even in the kitchen.
3. The third kind is Bedroom Sex. You'
calmed down a bit, perhaps have kids, so
you gotta do it in the bedroom.
4. The fourth kind is Hallway Sex. This is
where you pass each other in the hallway
and say, " **** you!"
5. There is also a fifth kind of sex:
Courtroom Sex, This is when you get
divorced and your wife screws you in front
of everyone in the room...”
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Submitted: 12/10/2013
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#6 - ocnamesaregone (12/11/2013) [+] (21 replies)
Sometimes I hope marriage isn't always like that. Is there some stories of marriage where it's unending sex and bliss and living happily after?

#1 - greatgatsby (12/10/2013) [+] (7 replies)
number 5
#11 - seenenoughhentai (12/11/2013) [+] (4 replies)
6th sex is when you see ghosts of people 						*******					 in front of you and Bruce Willis can't help you
6th sex is when you see ghosts of people ******* in front of you and Bruce Willis can't help you
+2
#24 - iviagic has deleted their comment [+] (5 replies)
User avatar #28 to #24 - EdwardNigma ONLINE (12/11/2013) [-]
Anyone thats not a lazy prick.
#13 - HolyArachnid (12/11/2013) [+] (2 replies)
<----- Related.
User avatar #10 - severepwner (12/11/2013) [+] (4 replies)
Why don't people marry other people that they are truly in love with and know they'll never get bored of?
#5 - anonymous (12/11/2013) [-]
these kinds of "jokes" are always deeply depressing for me... Marital degradation and divorce is my biggest true fear in life...
User avatar #30 - JENNAY (12/11/2013) [+] (2 replies)
I've never been exposed to even a decent marriage so this made me sad in securing my fear of any future marital relations and their fate
0
#64 - xnachelpor has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #59 - ihatecarltonbanks (12/11/2013) [+] (1 reply)
I always hear these kinds of things about marriage and every time i just think to myself "why on earth would you marry somebody who isn't truly in love with you?"
#58 - Chitzu (12/11/2013) [-]
I've been in a relationship for almost 3 and a half years. We live 2 and a half hours away from each other. I secretly hate the people who get engaged when they've been together under 3 years. I'd say you should wait for like at least 5 years minimum, because if you think everything is nice and you're both happy, then what harm could waiting do? You should still be able to be happy even without being married. I'd probably be perfectly happy waiting like 10 years. I want to be his wife, oh yes, but the ONLY thing that matters to me is that I can be with him to always make him happy.   
   
My feelings for him haven't changed at all. I love him more every day.
I've been in a relationship for almost 3 and a half years. We live 2 and a half hours away from each other. I secretly hate the people who get engaged when they've been together under 3 years. I'd say you should wait for like at least 5 years minimum, because if you think everything is nice and you're both happy, then what harm could waiting do? You should still be able to be happy even without being married. I'd probably be perfectly happy waiting like 10 years. I want to be his wife, oh yes, but the ONLY thing that matters to me is that I can be with him to always make him happy.

My feelings for him haven't changed at all. I love him more every day.
User avatar #54 - peezle (12/11/2013) [-]
Depressing.
#53 - thrashtildeath (12/11/2013) [-]
And then there's old joke sex:

The sudden realization that you've heard this joke a million times before and you feel raped of your precious time.
#49 - meuk (12/11/2013) [-]
This content... one of my 'funny uncles' would like stuff like this.
User avatar #29 - avatarofavarice ONLINE (12/11/2013) [-]
Well, that was rather depressing.
Honestly, I know what you were going for for a joke, but that **** was just a downer.
#20 - ridivey (12/11/2013) [-]
it took me longer than expected to get number 4 and 5
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