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Self Deprivation.

 
I don't expect this post to get any attention.
I think some of you may feel for my position or may even be on the same page as me. so I'm hoping we can get something going in the comments below.
So the first thing you should know is I am 20 years old. I work in a hotel as a night porter. I often work 50 hours a week. It now has come to a point where it feels like all I am doing that has any value in my life is working for this hotel. I feel like no one likes me, I don't say this in a childish level where I am seeking attention and compliments.

I have observed this through the years, I have always had difficulty getting friends. I used to when I was around 16 have quite a few friends I used to spend time with, we would do drugs and drink most weekends in the streets of my hometown. I always felt however like I didn't fit in, I was very close to some of my friends, but I had a lot of trouble at home.

I was brought up by my single mother and I've always understandably been seen as the black sheep in the family, but I digress. Around 16 my mum kicked me out from home and I found myself homeless. The only help I had was from friends at the time (since I was so young I didn't know or understand how hostels worked) a few of my friends from college helped me out by letting me stay at their homes. It really put a strain on my friendship with them and all my other friends, as everyone saw me as a leech, I ended up quitting college and I wasn't looking for work.

Eventually they all gave up on me and I found out how to get into a hostel. I lost contact with most of them entirely. So ever since then I have had next to no friends. I made a few friends while I was staying in hostels, but as you may imagine they weren't exactly the best influence for me and I went further into as state of... Well let's face it, laziness. Eventually it got to the point that I was disgusted to see myself in the mirror and I realised I could have depression, which I was indeed diagnosed with. But to get back to point and fast forward to the present..

I managed to mostly get over my depression, I pushed past the laziness and I have been working for quite a while now. But my issue these days is making friends, I always feel like people don't like to spare me any time, when I try to make friends with people they tend to say we should meet up... I give them my phone number or they give me mine. But once I message them that's it they don't reply and we never meet up again.

I've always found I annoy people and I would love to change. I always try my hardest these days to help others around me. But I still get the impression I might be a bad person, I'm aware I annoy people around me, but I've never been aware of what I do to annoy people. If you feel the same or you want to talk about this please comment. I want this to become a thread to talk about all our problems and work through things together.

FJ you've got me through things in the past. You're my last port of call before I fall into despair. I hope you can be here for me this time too.

TLDR; I'm in a rut and I could use some help.
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Submitted: 07/15/2015
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+4
#4 - hotpiss (07/15/2015) [-]
Asking FJ for advice on how to make friends is the funniest thing I've seen on FJ in a while.

However, my advice would be, not to try and make friends, that's weird, no one that makes a friend really tries to make friends, people are just thrust together in life and they either get on or they don't. What you should do is throw yourself into things that will create social interactions, the more people you meet, the more likely it is you'll find someone you get on with. You gotta put some effort in and do **** in your free time other than sit a computer. Join a club, take up a sport, take an educational course, look for a job with more opportunities for social interaction etc etc.

If it's interacting with people is the hardest part for you, I doubt I'll be any help with that, but all I can advise is be honest, empathetic and helpful (not to be confused with desperate).

Hope any of this **** helps bro.
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#5 to #4 - denercov [OP](07/15/2015) [-]
Gotta keep the lols going. Honestly not really, this was me asking how I can "try" I've not really been trying. I've just been putting myself in situations where I could make friends and it's not been working out. I'm not socially awkward I have quite high confidence. I can get girls etc. Just not friends I don't know what I'm doing wrong :/
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+1
#1 - asfix (07/15/2015) [-]
Sorry I can't help you. People are thinking that I am annoying too
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#2 to #1 - denercov [OP](07/15/2015) [-]
Sometimes it happens unfortunately. Anyway I could help?
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#3 to #2 - asfix (07/15/2015) [-]
No thank you. I will just live as hermit. Maybe I will find answer to life
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User avatar #7 - musalana (07/16/2015) [-]
you wanna read some ****** up **** ?

I was picked on all of elementary school and junior high being called fat/ugly/disguting/worthless. once a classmate pushed me to the ground, stood on my back and said they'd rathr step on me than dirt because "at least dirt grows grass." because of this i have a super low self estee, but i'm working on that. I moved out of my mom, step dad and two half brothers since my parents fought and my brothers are spoiled brats. They get so much but when i was little it was just me and my mom. we lived in subsody housing in a ****** town in a ****** neighborhood. my mom worked three different jobs so she could still go to college and feed me. I was usually babysat by the little old lady in the apartment next to us who was really sweet. I'm not saying i hated those years, i just wish they would have been easier for my mom and usually think the reason she struggled was because of me.

flash forward to about six months ago. I was going to abort (which i'm all for. it's basically a wart in your uturus until it grows a brain) but i found out i was too far along. i didn;t know what to do. my and my boyfriend talked about it and i suggested adoption since there was no way we could take care of it. I kept thinking of how it was living in poverty with my mother. I didn't want my son to grow up in a situation like that. I have a **** job as a receptionist at a hair salon with basically minimum wage and my boyfriend works as a dishwasher (has for three years and never once got a raise or promotion to prep cook even though he has the skills to do it)and could barely make enough money to pay for rent and food for ourselves, how the hell could we raise a kid. I decided on adoption and took the steps to find a couple, who we only found out were related to my boyfriend ater on during the process. kind of serendipitous. meanwhile once my mother found out she was furious. she seemed to have the idea that if she could do it, i could do it. I didn;t want to put me or the baby through that though. She offered to raise it herself but i hated the image of being the "not quite there, but still present" mom. besides, my mother may work at a high end office job but she's gone bankrupt a couple times and owes more money than i even dare to share. credit cards up the wazzo with different banks and a long track record with money mart (paydayloan company). I know for a fact they can barely afford groceries themselves yet she still goes out shopping for clothes whenever she's stressed out just bored.I told her i wanted to go with adoption and she was furious. she barely spoke to me and when she did it was all about how i was making a bad choice and i'll regret it for the rest of my life. I didn't care. i knew what i was doing was the right choice for the baby and for me. she kept saying i should at least "keep it in the family" but everyone else in my family is either in the same boat with dept and no money or stuck up pricks who i knew wouldn't help me even if i told them. When the baby was born it was really awkward since my mother and grandmother wanted to be there for me. They where there all night during the delivery as well as the adoptive parents making it even more awkward but as i recovered from the stupid c-section and watched the adoptive parents hold my baby, i knew they loved him so much. I knew i was making the right decision.

Now i'm sitting at home, with ten dollars to my name, barely any food in the house and my boss hasn't replied to my calls about going back to work. i doubt he will. my boyfriend is frustrated with his work more than ever since they keep teasing him with a promotion, asking him for an interview even though it's very clear they have some one else already training for the position. my cable and internet is going to be cut off on friday since we need to make a payment of $300 dollars before then but we just don't have the money.

basically i've become my mother minus a kid. great.
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#6 - anon (07/15/2015) [-]
Okay **** it, first time posting.
Look, people on here is not your go-to when you need advice on how to make friends.
First off, you need to have a more laid back attitude to all aspects of life. I can tell you are kind and nice, but people don't want to befriend the nice dude who constantly tries to make them laugh. People like to hang out with people who knows how to just chill. You need to casually talk to people about unimportant stuff, know how to keep a conversation going, and generally just be a funny guy; this doesn't mean you should tell jokes etc.
I was born lucky since I'm quite popular and am currently in one of the best model bureaus in the world, which makes it quite easy to make friends actually, but the circumstances of ones birth has nothing to do with meaningful friendships. Best of luck to you, I hope you have a great life, and remember: Life might suck now, and in the next 5-10 years, but when you're 50 and look back at things you'll wonder why you were even concerned with this
 
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