Science
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#2
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thechosentroll (01/07/2016) [-] I only spent a year as an engineering student, but it has confirmed a lot of stereotypes for me. For starters, every problem can be solved with a sufficient amount of duct tape. Had some old-ass instruments that were older than the professors, mostly volt meters and **** , which were held together by duct tape. The wires were secured in place with duct tape, the panel was stuck in place with duct tape, the boxes were all rolled up in duct tape. Everything was duct tape and the damn things were somehow more accurate than the electronic ones we had.
#31 to #2
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AnomynousUser (01/08/2016) [-] Well, go on. I want to hear more stereotypes it confirmed for you.
#43 to #31
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thechosentroll (01/08/2016) [-] Mostly small stuff like:
-Engineers are weird. From professors wearing shorts and flip flops to lectures in devember to people who I'm not sure were aware which dimension they're in, there were a lot of weird people.
-Engineers take things waaaaaaaaaaaay too literally. Had a professor who argued with a student for 10 minutes about how stupid the "is the glass half-empty or half-full" thing is, because you can determine it by the starting state of the glass. If it was empty and you filled up half of it, it's half-full, if it was full and you drank half of it, it's half-empty.
-Engineers do absurdly dangerous **** , because of how overly confident they are in their skills. Had exercises where the assistant would just casually dick around with live, bare wires, because he knew exactly which parts of the circuit were positive and which negative, so as long as he didn't grab the two at the same time, he'd be fine.
-Health and Safety regulations are more like guidelines. Like I said, live, bare wires. Also heard the line "Don't worry about it, it's never killed anyone yet" a few too many times. Also, occasionally, the dust and **** inside some of the older machinery would catch fire.
-Engineering exams are ******* hell on earth. That **** nearly gave me PTSD.
-Engineering is not for everyone. My group dropped from 30 to 20 before the first finals had even rolled around. By the second, there were 13 of us.
Funnily enough, it turned out engineering WAS for me, because I found it really fun and interesting, if hard as **** . Unfortunately, I was in what was supposed to be a mix between a computer science degree and an engineering degree, which I thought would cover both and I'd be good at everything. Nope, turned out it doesn't cover either properly, because there isn't enough time, so if I'd graduated that, I'd neither be a proper engineer, nor a proper computer tech guy and finding a job would be a bitch. So I went with programming instead. Rocking it, but I kind of miss the engineering stuff. The exercises were pretty interesting.
-Engineers are weird. From professors wearing shorts and flip flops to lectures in devember to people who I'm not sure were aware which dimension they're in, there were a lot of weird people.
-Engineers take things waaaaaaaaaaaay too literally. Had a professor who argued with a student for 10 minutes about how stupid the "is the glass half-empty or half-full" thing is, because you can determine it by the starting state of the glass. If it was empty and you filled up half of it, it's half-full, if it was full and you drank half of it, it's half-empty.
-Engineers do absurdly dangerous **** , because of how overly confident they are in their skills. Had exercises where the assistant would just casually dick around with live, bare wires, because he knew exactly which parts of the circuit were positive and which negative, so as long as he didn't grab the two at the same time, he'd be fine.
-Health and Safety regulations are more like guidelines. Like I said, live, bare wires. Also heard the line "Don't worry about it, it's never killed anyone yet" a few too many times. Also, occasionally, the dust and **** inside some of the older machinery would catch fire.
-Engineering exams are ******* hell on earth. That **** nearly gave me PTSD.
-Engineering is not for everyone. My group dropped from 30 to 20 before the first finals had even rolled around. By the second, there were 13 of us.
Funnily enough, it turned out engineering WAS for me, because I found it really fun and interesting, if hard as **** . Unfortunately, I was in what was supposed to be a mix between a computer science degree and an engineering degree, which I thought would cover both and I'd be good at everything. Nope, turned out it doesn't cover either properly, because there isn't enough time, so if I'd graduated that, I'd neither be a proper engineer, nor a proper computer tech guy and finding a job would be a bitch. So I went with programming instead. Rocking it, but I kind of miss the engineering stuff. The exercises were pretty interesting.
#54 to #43
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angelusprimus (01/08/2016) [-] I got my gradate degree in mix of engineering and comp sci.
My masters in comp sci though.
Didn't have trouble finding a job, though it took years to get a good one. But that's normal.
My masters in comp sci though.
Didn't have trouble finding a job, though it took years to get a good one. But that's normal.
#44 to #43
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AnomynousUser (01/08/2016) [-] Lol, I'm only halfway through my second year but you definitely aren't making any of this **** up. Have you ever heard of the dark sucker 'theory'? Because we got into an argument on whether it was actually plausible. **** went on for like 20 minutes in my physics class, and if I recall correctly most of us were in engineering (others being in physics or other things like that).
Also, here's a joke - two cats are sitting on the same angled roof. Which one falls first?
Also, here's a joke - two cats are sitting on the same angled roof. Which one falls first?
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thechosentroll (01/08/2016) [-] I'm gonna assume it's a play on words about the angle they're sitting at. English isn't my first language. And, no, I'm not familiar with that theory.
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AnomynousUser (01/08/2016) [-] It's the one with the smaller µ! µ is pronounced mu, which sounds like mew, which is what English people say cats sound like
Oh man, it's great! astro.uni-bonn.de/~dfischer/dark_sucker_2.html
I suggest you read it up and use it to annoy someone who always has to be right. Make sure to point out how dark is heavier than light.
Oh man, it's great! astro.uni-bonn.de/~dfischer/dark_sucker_2.html
I suggest you read it up and use it to annoy someone who always has to be right. Make sure to point out how dark is heavier than light.
#47 to #46
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thechosentroll (01/08/2016) [-] Heh.
Also, this may possibly be the stupidest thing I've read all month. Totally memorizing this.
Also, this may possibly be the stupidest thing I've read all month. Totally memorizing this.
#48 to #47
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AnomynousUser (01/08/2016) [-] Now imagine getting into a 20 minute debate with someone over it, and not being able to completely prove him wrong.
#49 to #48
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thechosentroll (01/08/2016) [-] We once had a debate about something equally stupid that lasted for 5 days. Don't even remember what it was, but it was definitely physics-related.
#50 to #49
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AnomynousUser (01/08/2016) [-] That's why physics can be great some times - it's hard to get that absurd in other subjects. But what's not great is when your professor will give out study guides that have absolutely nothing to do with the tests. After failing my second test (aced my first because there wasn't much info by then and it was all fresh in my mind), I learned to just ignore the guides and study literally everything we'd done by then. Barely made it out with a B because of that second test... And I mean within .2% from being a C.
#51 to #50
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thechosentroll (01/08/2016) [-] Ours had a very interesting version of the exam. Basically, he made us write protocols that summarized absolutely everything we'd covered up until this point. EVERYTHING. Wouldn't admit you to the exam if you don't have one or if it were shorter than 30 pages, because it meant you were slacking off and skipped a lot of stuff. Mine was 50. So, the exam went like this:
-Professor hands out questions. 10 questions out of 1000 possible ones, so everyone gets their own unique ones
-We have 5 minutes to read **** from our protocols, regarding those questions.
-Professor collects our protocols and hands us the sheets we're supposed to write on
-We have 45 minutes to answer everything
At first glance, that seems easy as **** . But, since we had the protocols, we had no excuses to be vague. The guy only accepted accurate, precise answers, the exact definitions, no vagueness, no rewording, no nothing. Just perfection. So, if you'd half-assed your protocol in any way, you're not passing. So 2/3 of the people didn't pass. I somehow managed to get an A. Probably because I wrote the protocol the day before the exam (8 ******* hours of writing) and still remembered most of it. Sadly, if you pass, he keeps your protocol, so you can't give it to your classmates or sell it to someone in a lower semester.
I think his idea was that writing the protocol, as well as the eventual stress and frustration of failing, because it wasn't written well enough, followed by the re-writing of the protocol would help us remember the material. And he was right. The **** about normal and tangential velocities helped me get to Minimus in Kerbal Space Program.
-Professor hands out questions. 10 questions out of 1000 possible ones, so everyone gets their own unique ones
-We have 5 minutes to read **** from our protocols, regarding those questions.
-Professor collects our protocols and hands us the sheets we're supposed to write on
-We have 45 minutes to answer everything
At first glance, that seems easy as **** . But, since we had the protocols, we had no excuses to be vague. The guy only accepted accurate, precise answers, the exact definitions, no vagueness, no rewording, no nothing. Just perfection. So, if you'd half-assed your protocol in any way, you're not passing. So 2/3 of the people didn't pass. I somehow managed to get an A. Probably because I wrote the protocol the day before the exam (8 ******* hours of writing) and still remembered most of it. Sadly, if you pass, he keeps your protocol, so you can't give it to your classmates or sell it to someone in a lower semester.
I think his idea was that writing the protocol, as well as the eventual stress and frustration of failing, because it wasn't written well enough, followed by the re-writing of the protocol would help us remember the material. And he was right. The **** about normal and tangential velocities helped me get to Minimus in Kerbal Space Program.
#52 to #51
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AnomynousUser (01/08/2016) [-] Jesus Christ... Do you get Vietnam-styled flashbacks whenever you think of protocols or that class..?
<--- How it feels when we barely pass those classes, despite all the pain and suffering.
<--- How it feels when we barely pass those classes, despite all the pain and suffering.
#53 to #52
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thechosentroll (01/08/2016) [-] It feels more like this. I don't know why. Maybe because I'm a tryhard, but I never barely pass. I either pass with flying colors or don't. And, no, that was one of the more pleasant exams. The theoretical electronics and semiconductor materials ones are the ones that have been forever scarred into my brain. And the semiconductor materials exercises are what made me loath protocols. We had this little protocol book, where we'd describe the exercises and results. At the end of the semester, we had to turn it in to be checked and if it weren't done properly, you won't be admitted to the exam. 13 exercises, each with 2-5 graphics, which we'd have to draw perfectly, we'd have to write down the information of every instrument, including serial numbers and every one had 5-8 tables, which you have to fill with the experiment results and then draw a graph for every single one. A grand total of over 100 graphs, which looked like Picasso had drawn them, if you draw them correctly and the assistant would go and check every. single. one. And if a single one were incorrect or improperly marked or slightly off, you'd have to redo the damn thing. We spent 3 days just drawing and correcting graphs.
As for the exams, the semiconductor materials one was "Here's the 56 chapters in the textbook, even though we only covered 30. Everyone draws a random one and writes everything they know about it. Has to be at least 5 pages, even though some chapters aren't even that long, complete with graphs, tables and all the definitions written word for word. But if it's EXACTLY like in the textbook, you're automatically failed, because you cheated.". Failed it 6 times. 6 ************* times. The last time I got the first chapter. I could ******* recite that **** , I did everything perfectly and the son of a bitch fails me, because it's "too much like the textbook, I suspect cheating." even though I was on the front row, literally half a meter away from him while writing.
The theoretical electronics one was "Here's two circuits, whos' values you have to calculate. We've only shown you how to do this once and these two particular circuits utilize a completely different method from what we showed you, though it uses the same principles. You have an hour. If you manage to do that, you get to the written theoretical portion, where you draw a chapter from the textbook and write everything. Once again, you have an hour. If you do that properly, too, you get to the oral part, where I ask you random questions from random chapters and if you can't give satisfying answers off the top of your head, you're failed.". Failed. Didn't even bother making another attempt.
Before you ask, no, I am not making this **** up. My country just has a different philosophy towards higher education than most. In most countries, like the US, they try to limit the number of university graduates by making it expensive as **** , so only a small number can get it. Then they cull the numbers a bit. It's difficult, but not absurdly so. In my country, they make higher education cheap, so everyone can afford it. Getting in is hard, because there's so many candidates, so only the best of the best can get in. Then you go on a little field trip through Hell for 4 years, which eliminates everyone but the most determined and hard working, so only the best of the best of the best can make it through the meat grinder. Out of 1000 candidates, only 100 get in and only 10 get out, usually. At least if it's a proper degree in a proper university. There's still the easy degrees with no practical application.
As for the exams, the semiconductor materials one was "Here's the 56 chapters in the textbook, even though we only covered 30. Everyone draws a random one and writes everything they know about it. Has to be at least 5 pages, even though some chapters aren't even that long, complete with graphs, tables and all the definitions written word for word. But if it's EXACTLY like in the textbook, you're automatically failed, because you cheated.". Failed it 6 times. 6 ************* times. The last time I got the first chapter. I could ******* recite that **** , I did everything perfectly and the son of a bitch fails me, because it's "too much like the textbook, I suspect cheating." even though I was on the front row, literally half a meter away from him while writing.
The theoretical electronics one was "Here's two circuits, whos' values you have to calculate. We've only shown you how to do this once and these two particular circuits utilize a completely different method from what we showed you, though it uses the same principles. You have an hour. If you manage to do that, you get to the written theoretical portion, where you draw a chapter from the textbook and write everything. Once again, you have an hour. If you do that properly, too, you get to the oral part, where I ask you random questions from random chapters and if you can't give satisfying answers off the top of your head, you're failed.". Failed. Didn't even bother making another attempt.
Before you ask, no, I am not making this **** up. My country just has a different philosophy towards higher education than most. In most countries, like the US, they try to limit the number of university graduates by making it expensive as **** , so only a small number can get it. Then they cull the numbers a bit. It's difficult, but not absurdly so. In my country, they make higher education cheap, so everyone can afford it. Getting in is hard, because there's so many candidates, so only the best of the best can get in. Then you go on a little field trip through Hell for 4 years, which eliminates everyone but the most determined and hard working, so only the best of the best of the best can make it through the meat grinder. Out of 1000 candidates, only 100 get in and only 10 get out, usually. At least if it's a proper degree in a proper university. There's still the easy degrees with no practical application.
#57 to #56
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thechosentroll (01/09/2016) [-] The glorious nation of Gypsystan. More commonly known as Bulgaria.
#58 to #57
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AnomynousUser (01/09/2016) [-] Looks like you're right up in the middle of the path between Syria and Germany... Is the refugee situation something that affects your daily life or is it something that is in isolated/designated areas of the country? I'm on the other side of the pond, so I don't know how noticeable it really is in Europe.
#59 to #58
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thechosentroll (01/09/2016) [-] Nah, funnily enough, they go right around us. For starters, our welfare system sucks, so no one's getting any benefits. Secondly, we have a very................. different culture. We suck at being assimilated into other cultures. Take a bulgarian, put them in another country and instead of trying to fit in, he's gonna try to change everyone around himself to a bulgarian. And this ****** been going on for ages. One of our most iconic fictional characters is a friendly (if sometimes rude), fat idiot, who went around Europe in the 1900s, making a fool of himself, while trying to sell **** and make a profit. Pretty much all the stories are about him going to operas, restaurants, bath houses and other fancy places, full of fancy people, where they try to civilize him a bit. Instead, he ends up bulgarifying them and basically everything turns to **** , there's the occasional fist fight and the "civilized" ladies and gentlemen revert rowdy drunks and hooligans, trying to have a good time. The author, who made the character actually hated it, because the stories were meant to be satyre that points at people and goes "See how silly you look? Cut that **** out and start acting like proper europeans.". Instead, it backfired and pretty much everyone (even to this day) can relate to the guy in some way and he's seen as sort the (pretty accurate) stereotype of a bulgarian.
And that's pretty much what happens to this day. We've got muslims who drink and eat pork, we've got gypsies who actually work and try to live normal lives, we've got foreign football players (usually black guys from France), who sign up with **** teams just to have an excuse to stay here and not go back to their own countries. **** , we've got whole villages of english, german and (for some reason) japanese people, who visited and like the place so much they decided to stay (god knows why). They soak up our culture and traditions so hard they end up acting more bulgarian than the bulgarians. I don't know what it is that people like about our culture, but they sure as hell don't feel like giving it up. Do you know what happened when extremists came here, along with the first syrian refugees? They tried to convert the local muslims and the local muslims beat them half to death. They tried to convert some bulgarians, failed, got violent and the police beat them half to death. They tried to convert the gypsies, failed, killed a couple in an attempt to scare the rest and............well..................... let's just say that murder is very easy to ignore when a gypsy with no ID kills an illegal immigrant with no ID. As far as the police were concerned, a bunch of people that don't exist killed a bunch of people that don't exist. I'm not sure if the news even bothered covering it. Then they decided to tighten things up a bit at the border, so no one can get in if they can't prove they're a refugee. The ones that can't prove **** get a hand shoved so far up their ass it'd make Kermit feel uncomfortable and they get kicked out. Funnily enough, the EU has yet to criticize this.
So, yeah, extremists are not gonna be much of an issue. We've got 1500 years of history, almost all of which was spent dealing with invaders. For about half of it, we were conquered by someone else, who was desperately trying to assimilate us. So far, none have succeeded. And if the ottoman empire couldn't do it, I doubt some *********** are gonna do it.
And that's pretty much what happens to this day. We've got muslims who drink and eat pork, we've got gypsies who actually work and try to live normal lives, we've got foreign football players (usually black guys from France), who sign up with **** teams just to have an excuse to stay here and not go back to their own countries. **** , we've got whole villages of english, german and (for some reason) japanese people, who visited and like the place so much they decided to stay (god knows why). They soak up our culture and traditions so hard they end up acting more bulgarian than the bulgarians. I don't know what it is that people like about our culture, but they sure as hell don't feel like giving it up. Do you know what happened when extremists came here, along with the first syrian refugees? They tried to convert the local muslims and the local muslims beat them half to death. They tried to convert some bulgarians, failed, got violent and the police beat them half to death. They tried to convert the gypsies, failed, killed a couple in an attempt to scare the rest and............well..................... let's just say that murder is very easy to ignore when a gypsy with no ID kills an illegal immigrant with no ID. As far as the police were concerned, a bunch of people that don't exist killed a bunch of people that don't exist. I'm not sure if the news even bothered covering it. Then they decided to tighten things up a bit at the border, so no one can get in if they can't prove they're a refugee. The ones that can't prove **** get a hand shoved so far up their ass it'd make Kermit feel uncomfortable and they get kicked out. Funnily enough, the EU has yet to criticize this.
So, yeah, extremists are not gonna be much of an issue. We've got 1500 years of history, almost all of which was spent dealing with invaders. For about half of it, we were conquered by someone else, who was desperately trying to assimilate us. So far, none have succeeded. And if the ottoman empire couldn't do it, I doubt some *********** are gonna do it.
#60 to #59
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AnomynousUser (01/09/2016) [-] ...I'm starting to want to move to Bulgaria. Maybe after I finish college, though, lol.
#39 to #2
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angelusprimus (01/08/2016) [-] HERETIC! HE SPEAKS AGAINST THE HOLY DUCK TAPE!
IT is universal repair material.
IT is universal repair material.
#3 to #2
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cupcakescankill (01/08/2016) [-] Why bother? Just build things from scratch using just duct tape.
#4 to #3
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thechosentroll (01/08/2016) [-] The day humanity learns how to do that will be the day we ascend this plane of existence and become gods.
#19 to #4
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aerotheobserver (01/08/2016) [-] Nah; that's when we become Jedi.
Duct tape: Light side is sticky, dark side repels, and that **** holds the universe together.
Force: Light side, dark side, holds the universe together.
Engineers are proto-jedi.
Duct tape: Light side is sticky, dark side repels, and that **** holds the universe together.
Force: Light side, dark side, holds the universe together.
Engineers are proto-jedi.
#28 to #6
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mcbergstedt (01/08/2016) [-] If you're being specific, then yea it'd be physics, even more specific would be statics.
#10 to #6
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anon (01/08/2016) [-]
Not really.
The terms "science" and "engineering" are on the same tier as each other in the same way that "physics" and "structural engineering" (or whatever the heck subset of engineering involves taping forks) are both subsets that would be on similar tiers with each other, etc. That's why it's STEM: SCIENCE, technology, ENGINEERING, medicine.
In the end it's talking about the basic differences between the less practical (but more educational and revealing) things we do for science in general, vs. the more practical "do what we know works" things we do for engineering in general just to get stuff done and working on budget. So "science" and "engineering" is logical to say.
The terms "science" and "engineering" are on the same tier as each other in the same way that "physics" and "structural engineering" (or whatever the heck subset of engineering involves taping forks) are both subsets that would be on similar tiers with each other, etc. That's why it's STEM: SCIENCE, technology, ENGINEERING, medicine.
In the end it's talking about the basic differences between the less practical (but more educational and revealing) things we do for science in general, vs. the more practical "do what we know works" things we do for engineering in general just to get stuff done and working on budget. So "science" and "engineering" is logical to say.
#32 to #26
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mastercolossus (01/08/2016) [-] **mastercolossus used "*roll picture*"**
**mastercolossus rolled image**scientific dance?
how?
Click to show spoiler
**mastercolossus rolled image**scientific dance?
how?
#9
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vladhellsing ONLINE (01/08/2016) [-] The philosophers would be too busy arguing about whether or not the glass was half full or half empty to actually do anything practical.
#12 to #9
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schneidend ONLINE (01/08/2016) [-] Pretty sure nothing happening in that picture is practical.
#13 to #9
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trollmobile (01/08/2016) [-] as a hobby philosopher, i'm appalled that you'd think so. the glass is clearly half nothing, as it's empty.
the REAL question here, is wether it's the coin holding the forks up, or the forks holding the coin up.
the REAL question here, is wether it's the coin holding the forks up, or the forks holding the coin up.
#42
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lathyrusvii (01/08/2016) [-] Science proves it's possible; engineering makes it stay that way.
#22
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kousei ONLINE (01/08/2016) [-] Okay, some form of bull ******** is being used in the science image. The center of gravity on that coin is not on the rim of this glass. Either that's a really good shop or some adhesive or other well hidden object is keeping the coin where it at.
#25 to #22
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rabaneristo (01/08/2016) [-] But wouldn't the weight of the forks' handles alter the center of gravity, pushing it towards the glass?
#8
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mcmanybucks (01/08/2016) [-] I remember reading somewhere that Black Science Guy said that Mark repairing a hullbreach at the mars station in The Martian with duct tape and tarp was a realistic approach..
#34
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anon (01/08/2016) [-]
How to become an Engineer according to the internet,
Use duct tape with anything.
Or rather do literally anything and you're a ******* Engineer.
Use duct tape with anything.
Or rather do literally anything and you're a ******* Engineer.
#16
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hemming (01/08/2016) [-] Do something remotely inventive
OR
Use duct tape in any way
ERH MAH GOD GUISE I IS AN ENGINEER I SWEAR LOLOLOL
OR
Use duct tape in any way
ERH MAH GOD GUISE I IS AN ENGINEER I SWEAR LOLOLOL
#36
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zmranger (01/08/2016) [-] Because I'm salty.
Srsly thou, I've seen this reposted like 10 times. Just let it die already.
Srsly thou, I've seen this reposted like 10 times. Just let it die already.
#37
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superanonymouspers (01/08/2016) [-] can someone freaking explain that penny thing WITHOUT the duct tape?
#27 to #20
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cdlogan (01/08/2016) [-]
As I am in a Civil Engineering class at my high school, that's ******** . Engineering (I've taken Computer science, and I'm halfway through Civil). There's lots more than building **** . You've got codes to follow, universal design features, budgets, got to worry about materials, property lines, etc. It's not just making things look cool. And Computer Science Engineering isn't much better. Lot's of trial and error. Python is a bitch, too.
