Rules

iusethisaccfornsfw

RULES FOR DATING MY SON
ll. He is not your ATM.
2. If you show up to my house looking like
a stripper, I will make you go away.
3. If I see any "seats" on his phone, I will make you go away.
It Understand that ill don' t like you, I will
make you go away.
5. that I ran make you go away.
6, He' s a "Mama' s hot", Unless you have a ring on kittinger,
your opinion of that does not matter.
it You are not in charge of him and It is not up to you to
mange him. Take him for who he is, or see rule #5.
8. He is a gentleman. I taught him that. ‘(on better on like a
lady and deserve that,
9, I know how to avoid jail.
Ill. Won weasel your way past all of these rules and fake your
way to a ring on your finger, I will be something mush worse
than your boyfriends mom. I' ll be your .

...

+208

Views:	19695
Favorited:	38
Submitted:	12/01/2013

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+62

#13 - mattdoggy (12/02/2013) [-]

Dads rules for dating my son
1. Thank you

#36 to #13 - firereadyaim (12/02/2013) [-]

2. Get him out of the house long enough for me to bang his mom and you're ok in my book

+90

#6 - lowlifescarecrow (12/01/2013) [-]

Wow, way to cockblock your son.

+10

#4 - charagrin (12/01/2013) [-]

I make more than he does.

I don't go to your house because you live in a ********* in a trailer park living on welfare.

No Sexts? That's fine, I'll just send pics then.

Understand that I am 20 years younger and half a foot taller than you, and don't smoke 3 packs a day. I'll be around much longer than you.

Understand that no, no you can't.

He is not a Mama's boy, he hates you. That's why you don't get to see your granddaughter.

I am indeed not in charge of him, we share everything, including choices. Because you know, we are adults.

He is a gentleman. He taught himself that while we were growing up. I seem to remember you encouraging him to steal clothes for you when we went to the mall.

Judging by the 4 times you have been arrested that I know of, No, You do not.

I already got the ring. You have no power here.

#12 to #4 - cornerdav (12/02/2013) [-]

you know the post wasnt talking to you right?

but really youre funny have a good life, seems like youre a little mad when you have every reason to be happy, just let it go.

#16 to #12 - charagrin (12/02/2013) [-]

This is why I usually sign out of accounts on our computer. This time wasn't so bad. Last time I logged in and she had been on my account she was in the middle of a flamewar about dick size.

#17 to #16 - riverofchex (12/02/2013) [-]

Mothers-in-law... ; /

Mine isn't like this, though. Mine's just a pothead with no filter between her brain and her mouth...

#18 to #17 - charagrin (12/02/2013) [-]

My mom is a worthless druggo half hooker who did anything she could to make sure I never went anywhere in life. She used to ground me for NOT stealing stuff for her when we went shopping, made fun of me and told everyone I was gay for not sleeping with one of her friends when I was 14, and when I was 15 she had me go help with a meth lab. When I left the house for college she wouldn't have anything to do with me till I graduated and started making a ok living, then she just wanted money. True story. So my CLSO is right for hating her.

Now my SO's mom is awesome on so many levels. Best thing she ever did was this. I got a beat up 72 Chevy Nova SS when I was in college and used it as a beater. When I graduated I started fixing it up, a few years later it was not a show car but it was beautiful. Some asshat went off the road onto my property and hit it into a ditch where it sank into freezing mud.. Frame, engine, body, electrical, all destroyed during the 3 months it sat in the mire before I could pull it out with the thaw. I was pretty shook up about it because granted, it was just an object, but it was the first real thing I ever bought myself and I loved it. One day I came home from work and Leese(my SO) made me put on a blindfold and she took me out back. When she took it off, I can't even describe the feeling. Anne(her mom) got me a cherry red road worthy 1972 Chevy Nova SS hypercharger. It was literally the happiest non-love related day of my life. Not all Mother In Laws are evil, just most of them. lol

#22 to #18 - adu (12/02/2013) [-]

Wow, your mom sounds like a piece of trash that shouldn't have had children in the first place. But I guess you're evidence that something hideous can actually lead to something alright.

#19 to #18 - riverofchex (12/02/2013) [-]

Sounds like your SO's mom is the **** =]. My mother and my husband used to detest each other, but happily they actually seem to enjoy each other's company now. Which is a good thing since we see a lot more of my family than we do of his.

#25 to #4 - anon (12/02/2013) [-]

Just by the way you typed that, I can tell you're a stuck up cunt.

I'll pray for your poor husband tonight, he most likely needs it.

#21 to #4 - hudge (12/02/2013) [-]

Someone has personal issues.

#8 to #4 - redteamgriff (12/02/2013) [-]

Mom's response

#7 to #4 - paronix (12/02/2013) [-]

So I'm betting you have a great relationship with your mother in law.

#9 to #7 - charagrin (12/02/2013) [-]

Haven't talked to her since xmas last year.

#10 to #9 - paronix (12/02/2013) [-]

Well I'm sorry about that.

Have the closest thing I've got to a hug-picture.

Then terminate her. I'll help you do it.

+25

#5 to #4 - herpymcderp (12/01/2013) [-]

#24 - lamarsmithgot (12/02/2013) [-]

You forgot to credit your 50 year old aunt's facebook wall.

#28 - SognaVetr (12/02/2013) [-]

My mom's rules for dating her son:

1: Have a pulse

#33 to #28 - tenaciousjon (12/02/2013) [-]

It doesn't even have to be a good pulse, just one that works.

#37 to #28 - footballmaniac (12/02/2013) [-]

My mom doesn't even have that one.

#38 to #28 - anon (12/02/2013) [-]

Horses are valid then?

#26 - heartlessrobot (12/02/2013) [-]

I'm pretty sure the son/daughter gets to chose who they date, and not the parent. Yes, the child SHOULD take the parents advice, but the parent cannot force the child to date someone or to not date someone.

#11 - spawnconnery ONLINE (12/02/2013) [-]

It's things like this that make me glad to have a Mom that's not overbearing... of course now it's reminding me of how I should treat her much better than some angsty teen.

#20 - dehumanizer ONLINE (12/02/2013) [-]

And people still wonder...

#34 - firereadyaim (12/02/2013) [-]

rules for dating my over-protected son who probably wont be getting a girlfriend any time soon becuase hes so coddled by his over-baring mother as written by a single mom who is waaay to close to her son

#15 - failtolawl (12/02/2013) [-]

this is just some stupid facebook spam chain **** .

#35 - allseriousness (12/02/2013) [-]

>"I will make you go away"

#32 - auraguardian (12/02/2013) [-]

i agree with 1 and 7 and thats it, **** the money grabbing whores who try and control every aspect of your life

#31 - lolollo (12/02/2013) [-]

Interesting thought...gentlemen, you know how you all talk about how overprotective you'll be of your daughters?

Apply that logic to what you just read here. Does it still sound justified?

#30 - cracknigger (12/02/2013) [-]

#29 - Lintutu (12/02/2013) [-]

Jesus **** some of these reminded of my boyfriend's mom. Except she was a bitch anyway. She hated me before she even knew what i looked like. She would purposely call her son for hours at a time so that way i would be forced to leave on curfew. She kicked me out of the house for kissing him on the cheek. She knew i was on birth control and asked how many other guys i ****** before current bf (i got birth control as i got with him...)

4 years later, she accepts me and likes me i guess, but i will never forget how much she treated both of us like ****

#27 - benjamino (12/02/2013) [-]

Good thing my mother resents the fact that I was closer to my dead father and her distance from me led to dissociation, so she really doesn't give enough ***** about whether or not I'm alive to bother with this **** .
I'm so ******* lonely.