Rollo 4: The Battle for Valhalla. Worth. Part 1: funnyjunk.com/Bar+adventures+please+read+description/funny-pictures/5130792/ Part 2: funnyjunk.com/Rollo+2+read
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Rollo 4: The Battle for Valhalla. Worth

Related to the end: if only Rollo will sing about him, not as
series betas stories shared.
This is the lest part of DUI’ Rollo. This action happens really two-
hours afterthe previous story.
Now let me tell you, before reading:
Gypsies are ******* asum. ******* are like gipsies, only maybe a little
darker because of skin and dirt, but gip sies are pure garb age.
They don' t wash they don' t do anything but make the name of Romania
bad in all of Europe and World.
This is, the battle for Valhalla
shouts he will be back
is kind of shaken
He will be back, give me your phone"
out and starts calling the biker gang mentioned earlier
Yeah, that club, seme now."
done
passes, it gets quite dark
tee many clients since it' s Thurs day
inba There day
Quiker gang semes back
get off
Now let me say, this bar is held in high regards by all bikers in this
smalltown and even though little, we got many bikers.
seme in
Bats, Knives
ems ens brought a small are as well
it begins
gip ****** kid walking around
eking like he' s serieus into the bar
all look at him
pulls his pants down show us his pispis
lie in wait
The bar is bult quite ms sly into twe separate re ems. Up en entering,
you don' t see what is downstairs ner sen you see what it is the
right.
Gypsies seme in
of them
bats & shovels
bikers seme out of nowhere
AAND ROLLO) THE FEAR OF THE NORTH
Now this is where the **** hits the fan.
Rememb er when I said that when he walks, the tsunami hits
******* Jap an? Well, this is ******* it. He was charging.
srrs ems again as he lunges at 5 gip sies with *******
bare arms (BEAR ARMS] at them
Rollo rears, Fenris sits the **** down and stops
eating the Sun. Iiek i it q
Now at this point you will be like "OP why did you
pussy out oft?".
Simple - fl physic ally intervened, I would have been
fired er even verse - are ste d. Laws in Romania are pretty
simple: You attack - you are arrested. You defend
i. ' years elf- you are arrested. You do nothing - you get a
free trip Bubba the Butthole Blaster. In short, I was
bait- Helle' s orders.
sies lo eking back
never saw a man afraid in my life, fas e, midi
have seen seme ****
gip retuning and trips en the motorbikes
a eminems theas ands of sures worth of motorbikes
******* . jpg
chear this guy yell frem the bottom of Mysp elohim all
the way up Asgard and into Otitis ears: "YOU
******* BUNKER"
at him with bat
chits him in the back of the gs
him down
ABASHES his gs
ABASHES his arms
bikers chase away all the gipsies
the same time Rollo caught this gypsy
Bleating the **** out with bear hands
cowered underneath Mount Rollo
ens point he just quits and we him and tells
say, gypsy do
Some white knight called the police and they
arrived pretty fast. Again, remember, this is net
USA with "I stand my ground" law and whatever.
No, here it is quite bad.
there, with fists red
Poolice arrives later
eke what happened
Weli ems er, you see, there was a small '',
misunderstanding" '
stands up If
Someone tried bum the bar down again,
across the street frem the bar there is a
park, infamous for rap e, violent e, gang war etc.
hid there waiting for the police ave
Cloris er lo eke up at em Viking waneer. No, I are
net ******** you, lo eking UP AT HIM
Helle' s leg is thicker than the ems ere terse
seme back
Across the street frem the bar, there is a park. It' s
infamous for rapes, murders & thefts happening
there.
get out of the park
we ens, nothing
olice turns them
eke ifthey know what happened
lilo, but seme ens smashed em bikes!"
get en their bikes and leaves apart frem the
leader
We don' t know what happened, ems er, really ,
we were in the park having dinner"
looks at the leader
Pleader leaves and waves away
looks at officer
3-" I assure you officer, we tried , buti am
in fear for my friend, Chris', life"
Riffic er ave s, says he will patrol the area
for the night
Then Helm looks at me and says it. I ****
you not, his words:
This man knew hew she er me up, make me feel proud of mys elf, he believed in me mere than
anybody ever did. He knew what say because he was there wheal baptized mys elf into nerds
religion. He cared ab out the whole world and wanted nothing mere than take sars of his
friends, asking in return only " er me when seme ens will need your help".
Lasta heard, he is become a father seen.
Christian.
gaz@ J
...
+626
Views: 52916
Favorited: 89
Submitted: 05/09/2014
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Comments(148):

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#16 - dawggz (05/09/2014) [+] (18 replies)
stickied by dawggz
I have message and/or mentioned each and every one of you. Because you are all cunts and I'm a ******* homo.
I hope you understand - this is our final Rollo post (we will say goodbye to his stories but please - pass it on with your friends and leave the FJ logos I scattered on the content for admin to see).
I have more stories to be posted soon. But I have to say, none of them are half as satisfying/rewarding as it was writing about our beloved Rollo.
User avatar #9 - dawggz (05/09/2014) [+] (9 replies)
stickied by dawggz
Ok so by now you had some questions, here's answers:
- WHO is Rollo?
Well, Rollo is the character portrayed in Vikings and is one of the first pagans to be Christianized. I chose this name because the man (Theodore, in his name) looks terrifyingly like him
- Is he from this world?
I believe Asgard is still in this world.
- How did you meet him?
Frequent customer, invited and payed for our trip to a small concert
- How do I find this Rollo?
He has a tattoo on his right calve saying "Ride to meet your fate/ Ragnarok Awaits".
- Where?
Read the other posts.
#120 - prodick (05/09/2014) [-]
stickied by dawggz
Rollo at the end of the day.
Rollo at the end of the day.
#1 - dawggz (05/09/2014) [+] (23 replies)
gtocforyou ifightdragons  isuriand flyingoat swizzll jakatackka nuclearkitteh    
 amata  mrhotwings mattdoggy oilbombs bvsfang ironsoul  zerodim  dracomancer   
bloodcaptain rallykingen  drongus  matthewonetwothree makonendrak  nandaaz joekerr   
wulphshadowtail hairyforcekin  fortehlulzing  urchinator oxymoronking rastil   
ttallonn selfdenyingbeggar  bitchpleaseshutup nirvanaishdude eatsleepswim MrKittyKat    
 crazyolitis   rheago curvebal crazyolitis Sorrowscythe russianmafiaman   
 dubstepforme joeyliquid  icametocomment froggernaught stimtheone  felixjarl   
 SCREWTHERULES sabertoothmoose thijsofbodom funnyguyz  vbeck aluminumfox   
icedmantwo akkere   
   
I SUMMON YOU ALL TO ROLLO IV.
gtocforyou ifightdragons isuriand flyingoat swizzll jakatackka nuclearkitteh
amata mrhotwings mattdoggy oilbombs bvsfang ironsoul zerodim dracomancer
bloodcaptain rallykingen drongus matthewonetwothree makonendrak nandaaz joekerr
wulphshadowtail hairyforcekin fortehlulzing urchinator oxymoronking rastil
ttallonn selfdenyingbeggar bitchpleaseshutup nirvanaishdude eatsleepswim MrKittyKat
crazyolitis rheago curvebal crazyolitis Sorrowscythe russianmafiaman
dubstepforme joeyliquid icametocomment froggernaught stimtheone felixjarl
SCREWTHERULES sabertoothmoose thijsofbodom funnyguyz vbeck aluminumfox
icedmantwo akkere

I SUMMON YOU ALL TO ROLLO IV.
#23 - icametocomment ONLINE (05/09/2014) [-]
Rololo

Seriously though, this was awesome. Rollo is love, Rollo is life.
#22 - bvsfang (05/09/2014) [-]
Rollo is love, Rollo is life.
#15 - jubajubejiblets (05/09/2014) [+] (1 reply)
#115 - DiabloStrawhat (05/09/2014) [-]
Guys.   
   
Rollo is going to be a father.   
   
The lineage continues.
Guys.

Rollo is going to be a father.

The lineage continues.
#30 - gypsydude (05/09/2014) [+] (1 reply)
Yeah I'll admit it, Gypsies are cunts. Most people I know who are gypsies think they are all great. But nahh they are cunts. Some gypsies are OK, but most of them are cunts. Feel bad that this guy had to go through this 						****					 from a pack of dirty cunts.
Yeah I'll admit it, Gypsies are cunts. Most people I know who are gypsies think they are all great. But nahh they are cunts. Some gypsies are OK, but most of them are cunts. Feel bad that this guy had to go through this **** from a pack of dirty cunts.
#14 - gtocforyou (05/09/2014) [-]
MFW bear arms.

Good story btw.
#35 - guardianatreyu ONLINE (05/09/2014) [-]
We shall sing many a song about this man for years to come. Rollo is love, Rollo is life.
#42 - applescryatnight (05/09/2014) [+] (10 replies)
so dawggz, tell me about the norse religion.
im incredibly interested in it. im not thinking of converting, but from what ive seen of it, it has a lot in common with my life values.
User avatar #47 to #42 - moshimoshi (05/09/2014) [-]
You could say that I'm a modern heathen. Let's chat.
I like to define the norse religion like this: You don't ask the gods for favours. If things go well you thank the gods for smiling at you, if things go bad for you you thank them for the challenge that will make you stronger.
Many of our myths are little more than mnemonics for proper behaviour. For example, the story about Naglfar is about how you should always be neat and clean. (Naglfar is built of dead men's toenails and when it is finished, Ragnarök comes. Moral of the story: Keep your toenails trimmed). When the christians came to scandinavia, they took most of our customs and outlawed them. It became forbidden to bathe, to eat horsemeat, to treat women like human beings etc etc. yet they couldn't take our holy days from us... Only we had to call them christmas (not really, we call it Jul/yule), easter and all hallows eve. I find it funny that they couldn't claim midsummer. as christian. I also personally know people who learned the secret of the dale-runes as children (old people of course. The dale runes are sadly disappearing, as good as dead). I can recommend a bit of reading, books.google.se/books?id=GITgRstI5R8C&pg and also google "the wild hunt", that's my favourite. But you'll have to ask for specifics or chances are I will spam this post with any little stories that come to mind.
User avatar #32 - psyachu (05/09/2014) [+] (1 reply)
I like this for 2 reasons!

1: The obvious reason that it's just a really awesome story.

2: I just started watching Vikings recently. It's a really great show.
User avatar #112 - mrgoodlove (05/09/2014) [+] (2 replies)
I'd love to see Rollo 1v1 my cousin who is 6'1 bout 230lbs of brute strength and has over 200 fights under his belt.
#113 to #112 - curtisbentley (05/09/2014) [-]
Yeah! And my brother who is almost eight feet in height, guys a 						*******					 monster, has about a hundred confirmed kills and works for the most powerful family in Westeros...-   
   
Oh 						****					 I'm the Hound.
Yeah! And my brother who is almost eight feet in height, guys a ******* monster, has about a hundred confirmed kills and works for the most powerful family in Westeros...-

Oh **** I'm the Hound.
User avatar #97 - barbwirepain (05/09/2014) [-]
dude sounds like he's straight out of a manowar song
User avatar #66 - thedutchs (05/09/2014) [+] (3 replies)
You baptized yourself in Norse Religion? How did you do that?

Why did you decide to follow the Old Custom?

#67 to #66 - anonymous (05/09/2014) [-]
The old custom is the only custom.

Christianity is a hethen and a cowards escape! FOR ASGARD!
User avatar #72 - lamarsmithgot (05/09/2014) [+] (1 reply)
Hey is this show any good? I'm all caught up on game of thrones, and I need more sword swinging action to binge watch.
#75 to #72 - mathiasenggaard (05/09/2014) [-]
It most certainly is! Rollo isn't the main/most badass character on the show but his brother

In terms of action there is plenty and it is, in my eyes, very well portrayed!
#69 - huffe (05/09/2014) [-]
such an inspiration
User avatar #36 - garykn (05/09/2014) [+] (1 reply)
This was one of the best stories I've read on this site to date. Real? Fake? I don't care. Long live Rollo.
#19 - wamegor (05/09/2014) [-]
**wamegor rolled image** an amazing story and a great conclusion and message, pretty amazing story dawggz, whenever is real or not, you have my thumb
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