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Rock Paper Scissors

anonymous when .
om If baby oil dissolves condoms what the their does h do to
babies???
This may be shocking, but babies and condoms are made of
different materiel
it' s like rock paper scissors: baby oil defeats condom, baby defeats baby oil.
condom defeats baby
...
+1489
Views: 38157
Favorited: 100
Submitted: 12/19/2015
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Reply
+300
#3 - sirfurnace (12/19/2015) [-]
Baby oil is made from babies. They're put into a press like the one used for olive oil and the liquid that runs off is made into baby oil.
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+2
User avatar #43 to #3 - scorcho (12/20/2015) [-]
just like whale oil is not made for whales, but from whales.
it makes perfect sense.
Reply
+5
#41 to #3 - slickey (12/20/2015) [-]
I thought this one was hilarious, but the last joke I've read here and tried in real life got nothing but cringe, so I'll keep this one to myself I guess.

TLR fj is only funny on fj
Reply
+19
#35 to #3 - anon (12/20/2015) [-]
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+28
User avatar #5 to #3 - Tusura (12/19/2015) [-]
You forgot about using the centrifuge afterward to filter out the blood from the oil.
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+24
User avatar #6 to #5 - rothingham (12/19/2015) [-]
Don't be silly, babies have no blood. Everyone knows that.
Reply
+24
User avatar #7 to #6 - Tusura (12/19/2015) [-]
If that's true, then why did my blender turn red when I put the baby in it?
Reply
+33
#8 to #7 - sirfurnace (12/19/2015) [-]
It turned red, so that means that Soviet leader Stalin Claus has come to bring the best present of all: Communism.
It turned red, so that means that Soviet leader Stalin Claus has come to bring the best present of all: Communism.
Reply
+1
#34 to #8 - lollypopalopicus ONLINE (12/20/2015) [-]
Can he visit here, and dance the night away?
Dancing Stalin
Reply
0
User avatar #37 to #34 - Shiny (12/20/2015) [-]
It's sad how awful this game was when the idea was so ******* great.
Reply
0
#45 to #37 - fullmetaloptimist (12/20/2015) [-]
wut game?
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0
User avatar #46 to #45 - Shiny (12/20/2015) [-]
The video was a promotion for an RTS game.
Reply
+24
User avatar #11 to #3 - zepplinfailure (12/19/2015) [-]
soylent green is made out of people.
Reply
+28
User avatar #14 to #3 - subtard (12/20/2015) [-]
Then they take the solid remains, dehydrate them, and grind them up into baby powder.
Reply
+43
#12 - diobrandolover (12/19/2015) [-]
Wrong, baby defeats baby

humanidiot add this to update pls
Reply
+9
User avatar #24 - ipwnallnubz (12/20/2015) [-]
So how long does it take for baby oil to dissolve a condom? Could a crazy fill her snatch with baby oil and melt the condom to make herself pregnant without the guy intending for that to happen?
Reply
0
#33 to #24 - turbanmasher (12/20/2015) [-]
I could see it happening. There's a reason they recommend water or silicone base lubes with condoms.
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0
#40 to #24 - bwiedieter (12/20/2015) [-]
Yep, seeing that a condoms is only a fe microns thick, it´s actually very feasible, depending on how hard you´re going at it.
If you´re ramming your dick in her, the condom could very well break due to being dissolved by the oil beforehand.
Reply
+1
User avatar #44 to #40 - cognosceteipsum (12/20/2015) [-]
As an antinatalist that would be the most horrible thing.
Reply
+11
#32 to #24 - anon (12/20/2015) [-]
Too long for you to worry about, I'm sure.
;^)
Reply
+16
#25 to #24 - einsampibroch (12/20/2015) [-]
You just asked a question I never knew I wanted answered...
Reply
+19
#1 - thearrogant (12/19/2015) [-]
but can it beat this guy
Reply
+49
#2 to #1 - elvoz [OP](12/19/2015) [-]
No one can beat our Lord and Savior.
Reply
+10
#39 to #2 - mamenber (12/20/2015) [-]
Fixed it for you
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+4
User avatar #13 to #2 - alfonshister (12/20/2015) [-]
can't you at least use a png?
Reply
+2
User avatar #15 to #13 - elvoz [OP](12/20/2015) [-]
I'm too much of a pleb, sorry.
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+10
User avatar #10 - canichaikait ONLINE (12/19/2015) [-]
Ha, but I beat condom as baby.
Reply
+7
#17 - anon (12/20/2015) [-]
it's the same idea when people say "omg coke is so bad it dissolves nails" luckily i'm not made of nails
Reply
+5
User avatar #21 to #17 - thirdjess (12/20/2015) [-]
"We left this tooth in coke for a fortnight, and it dissolved"

If you left a tooth in listerine for a week it'd dissolve, too.
Reply
+1
#23 to #21 - afireinsidebrad (12/20/2015) [-]
that, and noone seems to realize our stomachs are lined with something similar to molecular acid (if my memory serves right)
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+1
#27 to #23 - akirafudo (12/20/2015) [-]
chlorhydric acid, very mild stuff
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+1
#28 to #27 - afireinsidebrad (12/20/2015) [-]
thank you for the correction, but still, **** is designed to break down organic matter,people still seem to forget its there
Reply
+1
#29 to #28 - akirafudo (12/20/2015) [-]
**akirafudo used "*roll picture*"**
**akirafudo rolled image**
well is not like something you can "invent" or something, it happens to be there and is used to dissolve and digest food along several other filters, so is not so much potent if you put to think that multiple diseases can straight up **** us up, also parasites and stuff, so its like one step harder in the scale compared to ascorbic/citric acid
Reply
0
#31 to #29 - akirafudo (12/20/2015) [-]
**akirafudo used "*roll picture*"**
**akirafudo rolled image**
like straight h2o2 can **** you up in so much less time than chlorhydric acid
Reply
0
#30 to #29 - afireinsidebrad (12/20/2015) [-]
you know that i mean tho, soda aint ****
Reply
+5
User avatar #19 - ogthegreat (12/20/2015) [-]
But sometimes, baby beats condoms.
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+4
User avatar #4 - undercow (12/19/2015) [-]
oil, condom, baby SHOOT!
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+1
User avatar #38 - huntergriff ONLINE (12/20/2015) [-]
is...is this actually true?
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+3
User avatar #42 to #38 - TheHutchie (12/20/2015) [-]
Yes. While condoms are typically made from latex, babies are made from flesh, muscle and bone, among other things.
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+1
User avatar #47 to #42 - huntergriff ONLINE (12/20/2015) [-]
I meant that baby oil dissolves condoms.
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0
User avatar #48 to #47 - TheHutchie (12/20/2015) [-]
And I meant to tell a joke.
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+1
User avatar #49 to #48 - huntergriff ONLINE (12/20/2015) [-]
and i meant that you smell lovely.
Reply
0
User avatar #50 to #49 - TheHutchie (12/20/2015) [-]
Yeah well your face is handsome.
Reply
+1
User avatar #51 to #50 - huntergriff ONLINE (12/20/2015) [-]
Thank you, I just shaved!
Reply
+2
#36 - anon (12/20/2015) [-]
babies are actually made from condoms
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+1
User avatar #22 - labree (12/20/2015) [-]
of all of the people to say that, the last id expect is jolee bindo.
Reply
0
#26 - bleeduntildeath ONLINE (12/20/2015) [-]
not always true
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0
User avatar #20 - koholla (12/20/2015) [-]
not trying to correct things or kill jokes, but baby oil is made from crude oils and is a by product of gasoline production, as is petroleum jelly.
Reply
0
#9 - sometimeswefuck (12/19/2015) [-]
i wish i was that clever
 
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