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relationship goals

So I went over to my boyfriend' s
house tonight, and we decided to
night swimming. Well, we were
kissing and grinding and all that in
the peel and suddenly he just hugs
me to him and says " love you, and
I' m glad we' re mine' and when he
said that I leaned in towards his ear
and said 'mine' in the same voice as
those Seagulls from Finding Nemo
and then he did it back and we
basically sat in the pool shouting
MINE!' at each other for a solid
minute.
YOU’ FOUND A KEEPER NOW KEEP
HIM.
...
+1768
Views: 53239
Favorited: 100
Submitted: 04/11/2015
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[ 129 comments ]
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+3
User avatar #115 to #30 - fukkendragonite (04/12/2015) [-]
Ha, here's a story:

I met my gf over the internet, and she did not want to tell me her age because she is older and she was embarrassed.. I am 19 and totally legal by the way, so no illegality issues. She knew I was 19 and she didn't want to say, but we're both big football fans so she said "For now, I'll tell you that if I was a Striker, I'd be retired for sure. If I was a goalkeeper, there is a chance I could still be playing".

I later found out this meant she was 39. I told my brother about this, and he loved the football analogy and blurted out "HA! She sounds like a keeper". He didn't realise his pun until afterwards. We laughed like crazy.

You had to be there maybe?
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0
#116 to #115 - strychnine (04/12/2015) [-]
dating a milf uh?
dating a milf uh?
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0
User avatar #126 to #116 - fukkendragonite (04/13/2015) [-]
Sorta true. She doesn't have any kids so technically not a milf, but basically yeah man
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+4
#33 to #30 - anotherponyaccount ONLINE (04/12/2015) [-]
Took me a bit.
Took me a bit.
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+261
#4 - yousaygoodbye (04/12/2015) [-]
Need a good sense of humor
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+3
#53 to #4 - tarabostes ONLINE (04/12/2015) [-]
Are you ready yousay?????
Are you ready yousay?????
Reply
+1
User avatar #54 to #53 - yousaygoodbye (04/12/2015) [-]
I feel like you're just following me around at this point
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+3
#56 to #54 - tarabostes ONLINE (04/12/2015) [-]
That wasn't an "aye aye captain! "
***** it ain't ma fault u comment on everything, if i think i can comment somethin' das funny 2 me, i'll do it, no holdin' back
























you're gonna say goodbye aren't ya??
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0
User avatar #57 to #56 - yousaygoodbye (04/12/2015) [-]
I do not comment on everything!!!!
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+1
#59 to #57 - tarabostes ONLINE (04/12/2015) [-]
Yeah suuuuuuuuuuuure, and the moonlanding wasn't made in a hollywood basement! sometimes, yousaygoodbyes are a bitch!
Yeah suuuuuuuuuuuure, and the moonlanding wasn't made in a hollywood basement!























sometimes, yousaygoodbyes are a bitch!
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+1
User avatar #61 to #59 - yousaygoodbye (04/12/2015) [-]
Joshlol comments more than me
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+2
User avatar #69 to #61 - joshlol (04/12/2015) [-]
a little
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0
#81 to #69 - tarabostes ONLINE (04/12/2015) [-]
gig's up ******** , i know who you are!
gig's up ******** , i know who you are!
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+1
User avatar #82 to #81 - joshlol (04/12/2015) [-]
=]
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0
#83 to #82 - tarabostes ONLINE (04/12/2015) [-]
Don't you =] me bitch! Show me that pretty disfigured blondie face!
Don't you =] me bitch! Show me that pretty disfigured blondie face!
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+1
#84 to #83 - joshlol (04/12/2015) [-]
Comment Picture
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0
#85 to #84 - tarabostes ONLINE (04/12/2015) [-]
0/10 Not realistic enough
0/10 Not realistic enough
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0
#62 to #61 - tarabostes ONLINE (04/12/2015) [-]
Well that explains it, you ARE joshlol! rly? u needed a separate account for EVEN MORE comments??
Well that explains it, you ARE joshlol!




















rly? u needed a separate account for EVEN MORE comments??
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+1
User avatar #63 to #62 - yousaygoodbye (04/12/2015) [-]
Shhhh
Reply
+1
#65 to #63 - tarabostes ONLINE (04/12/2015) [-]
I might be able to keep this secret

























4 a small price...
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+1
User avatar #66 to #65 - yousaygoodbye (04/12/2015) [-]
What's the price?
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0
#71 to #66 - tarabostes ONLINE (04/12/2015) [-]
Literally <3 You're a good payer aren't ya??






























Literally <3
You're a good payer aren't ya??
Reply
0
#80 to #79 - tarabostes ONLINE (04/12/2015) [-]
I just needed a gif that was related, i don't give a **** where it's from
I just needed a gif that was related, i don't give a **** where it's from
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+7
User avatar #72 to #4 - fukinitech (04/12/2015) [-]
yeah this is definitely fake. 3 words would not deter a man from having sex, almost nothing would stop a man from having sex.
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+3
#86 to #72 - tarabostes ONLINE (04/12/2015) [-]
3 words? I HAVE AIDS KING ME MOTHERFUKINITECH!!!
3 words? I HAVE AIDS






























KING ME MOTHERFUKINITECH!!!
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+1
User avatar #125 to #86 - fukinitech (04/13/2015) [-]
3 words Catalina Wine Mixer
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0
#127 to #125 - tarabostes ONLINE (04/13/2015) [-]
3 words u wot m8?
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+22
User avatar #24 to #4 - payseht ONLINE (04/12/2015) [-]
that guy needs his man card revoked...
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+8
User avatar #39 to #24 - stankape ONLINE (04/12/2015) [-]
I feel like that story isn't true. I mean, who would turn down sex because she said a silly thing, even if you don't like the show?
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+1
#43 to #39 - soulfate (04/12/2015) [-]
Yeah my girlfriend has done some pretty weird things when we get to it. Once we were in the shower and she was laughing the whole time because she kept queefing. We still finished, and now I have a card that always gets me an easy win in Cards Against Humanity.

TL;DR Embrace the quirky **** girls will do during sex to kill the mood
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+340
#2 - ilovgmod (04/12/2015) [-]
Can't wait for Finding Dory.
Can't wait for Finding Dory.
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+1
#46 to #2 - leedledee (04/12/2015) [-]
So it is actually going to be a thing? It was announced on April Fools 1...2 years ago? So I haven't bothered to get my hopes up. But it would be awesome if it were a thing.
So it is actually going to be a thing? It was announced on April Fools 1...2 years ago? So I haven't bothered to get my hopes up.
But it would be awesome if it were a thing.
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0
#103 to #46 - anon (04/12/2015) [-]
It was announced before that. They just released more info that day.
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+2
User avatar #45 to #2 - itskennyandjosh ONLINE (04/12/2015) [-]
Its funny, my mom hates Ellen DeGeneres but she likes dory from finding nemo.
p.s, this just goes to show, my mom hates actors who are gay even when she doesn't realize how good of an actor they are
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+4
User avatar #58 to #45 - yaybacon (04/12/2015) [-]
I don't like Ellen DeGeneres just because she annoys me, but I like Dory.
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0
User avatar #60 to #58 - itskennyandjosh ONLINE (04/12/2015) [-]
My mom only hates her because she's a lesbian.
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+2
User avatar #68 to #60 - slycoop (04/12/2015) [-]
If I may say, your mom is a cunt.
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+1
User avatar #70 to #68 - itskennyandjosh ONLINE (04/12/2015) [-]
*religious cunt
She follows the bible like its not optional, and i'm gay sooo i'm with you there, my mom is an asshole.
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+1
User avatar #99 to #70 - Rvalldrgg (04/12/2015) [-]
Does she follow every little bit of the bible, or does she pick and choose what parts she wants to follow and what she doesn't want to follow?
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0
User avatar #122 to #99 - itskennyandjosh ONLINE (04/13/2015) [-]
Shes never actually read the bible, she only follows the bits she knows
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+1
User avatar #123 to #122 - bible (04/13/2015) [-]
oh boy, those are always fun.
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0
User avatar #124 to #123 - itskennyandjosh ONLINE (04/13/2015) [-]
Yeah, she's the type of christian most people hate
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+6
User avatar #35 to #2 - glitchduck (04/12/2015) [-]
I can
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+58
User avatar #1 - friedgreenpomatoes (04/12/2015) [-]
no homo but i would probably suck that guy's dick
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+1
#55 to #1 - tarabostes ONLINE (04/12/2015) [-]
***** that ain't kawaii
































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+1
User avatar #113 to #1 - mumblesthepyro (04/12/2015) [-]
I dunno man, all evidence leads to homo.
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+6
#25 to #1 - xtrim (04/12/2015) [-]
Full homo and I'd do it too.
Full homo and I'd do it too.
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+8
User avatar #3 to #1 - ilovgmod (04/12/2015) [-]
You gotta go all the way with this guy come on now.
Reply
+161
#14 - presidentmoose (04/12/2015) [-]
**presidentmoose used "*roll picture*"**
**presidentmoose rolled image**
Mine
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+9
User avatar #18 to #14 - spiritfoxsilver (04/12/2015) [-]
D-do you put your dick in it?
Reply
+9
#64 to #14 - dasbrot (04/12/2015) [-]
That's a keeper if ever I saw one.
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+10
User avatar #16 to #14 - psyachu ONLINE (04/12/2015) [-]
You have to keep her now.
Reply
+20
#28 to #14 - revansfirst (04/12/2015) [-]
YFW
YFW
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+22
#38 to #14 - themadcactus (04/12/2015) [-]
You can keep her.
Reply
+27
#20 to #14 - strigt (04/12/2015) [-]
Your face when you try to help her shave.
Your face when you try to help her shave.
Reply
+44
#6 - ipostcheesepizza (04/12/2015) [-]
It sounds a little awkward to me, just staring at each other saying 'mine' for minutes. Maybe I need to get into a relationship. **** .
It sounds a little awkward to me, just staring at each other saying 'mine' for minutes.

Maybe I need to get into a relationship.

**** .
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+1
User avatar #7 to #6 - nyawgga (04/12/2015) [-]
no you dont shut up
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+3
User avatar #8 to #7 - ipostcheesepizza (04/12/2015) [-]
You shut up
Reply
+2
User avatar #10 to #6 - youraveragesupport ONLINE (04/12/2015) [-]
If you find someone who matches your personality well, it's a back and forth of saying stupid stuff that you try to one-up the other person on. For example, my ex and I would call each other 'carrot' cause of some stupid video she found where carrots grew to look like they were hugging. It's weird but great man.
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+2
User avatar #23 to #10 - sphincterface (04/12/2015) [-]
Last gf and I would randomly break into song while in the middle of conversations. For example we went on this really long drive to see her parents and I noted that we were halfway there and we simultaneously started singing "Living on a prayer."
Other times we would like to harmonize with each other or talk in stupid accents. It's just fun being stupid with someone that you love.
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+1
User avatar #13 to #10 - ipostcheesepizza (04/12/2015) [-]
It sounds great. Your username is very relevant.
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+2
User avatar #15 to #13 - youraveragesupport ONLINE (04/12/2015) [-]
Hey man, I'm here to support, whether it be love or vidya.
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+2
User avatar #73 to #6 - lyiat ONLINE (04/12/2015) [-]
Me and my girl do stupid **** like this all the time. It's fun, and silly, and stupid, and we don't care because it's us. Relationships do that to you. And it's great.
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+3
User avatar #51 to #6 - captainprincess (04/12/2015) [-]
That's the basic jist of it though
Relationships make awkward **** not awkward anymore

...somehow
idk
Reply
+5
#9 to #6 - chaoticlaw (04/12/2015) [-]
That's how love is, ***** . You're a total ******* retard who found another total ******* retard of the same tastes. ****** beautiful, man.
That's how love is, ***** . You're a total ******* retard who found another total ******* retard of the same tastes.












****** beautiful, man.
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+1
#17 to #9 - sonexthehodgeheg (04/12/2015) [-]
I'm perfectly ok with that
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+19
User avatar #32 - axetotheskull (04/12/2015) [-]
Tumbler user being in relationship?
Sounds as likely as any funkjunk user losing our virginity.
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0
#118 to #32 - Furubatsu (04/12/2015) [-]
Good news fella's! I lost it for us!
Good news fella's!
I lost it for us!
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+10
#34 to #32 - anon (04/12/2015) [-]
"our"?
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+27
#36 to #34 - hassoutobi (04/12/2015) [-]
WE ARE MANY

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+3
#93 to #36 - bagguhsleep ONLINE (04/12/2015) [-]
YOU ARE BUT ONE
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0
#106 to #93 - hassoutobi (04/12/2015) [-]
COMPOSED OF MANY
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+11
#37 to #34 - phonicghost (04/12/2015) [-]
WE ARE LEGION
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0
User avatar #114 to #37 - foamytesquirrel (04/12/2015) [-]
**** off. NCR AND PROUD!
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0
#41 to #37 - Jeff C (04/12/2015) [-]
Speak for yourself faggot, I am REGION. You're lucky I forgive and forget
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+3
User avatar #52 to #34 - thegamegestapo (04/12/2015) [-]
Bang one user and two virgins will take its place.
Reply
+1
User avatar #49 to #34 - captainprincess (04/12/2015) [-]
WE'RE ALL CONNECTED
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+12
#27 - magicspoon (04/12/2015) [-]
tfw no gf
tfw no gf
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0
User avatar #89 to #27 - AreyouSerious (04/12/2015) [-]
dat nostril flare
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+5
#31 - pbeldin (04/12/2015) [-]
**pbeldin used "*roll picture*"**
**pbeldin rolled image** this beauty is mine
Reply
+4
#95 - sirfurnace (04/12/2015) [-]
MINE!
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+4
#29 - lstimpact (04/12/2015) [-]
Last comment sorta ruined it
Last comment sorta ruined it
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+3
#108 - skysailor (04/12/2015) [-]
This is something my girlfriend would do. Sometimes it's annoying, sometimes its ******* hilarious. Luckily, she's got a good balance.
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+4
#47 - shreksorcist (04/12/2015) [-]
**shreksorcist used "*roll picture*"**
**shreksorcist rolled image** Mine
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+4
#42 - anon (04/12/2015) [-]
Every time my girlfriend walks through a door way she makes a Beep sound and claims that she's groceries. Good or Bad sign?
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+1
User avatar #67 to #42 - huzibizi (04/12/2015) [-]
Huh? Just rip the security tag off
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+2
#121 - Churd (04/13/2015) [-]
Comment Picture
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+2
#75 - archerthefolf (04/12/2015) [-]
**archerthefolf used "*roll picture*"**
**archerthefolf rolled image** my gf
Reply
+2
User avatar #77 to #75 - archerthefolf (04/12/2015) [-]
aaaand everybody is a male....great
Reply
+1
#119 - aporoble (04/12/2015) [-]
**aporoble used "*roll picture*"****aporoble rolled image** &lt;== mine
**aporoble used "*roll picture*"**
**aporoble rolled image** <== mine
Reply
+1
#96 - konyzimmerman (04/12/2015) [-]
**konyzimmerman used "*roll picture*"**
**konyzimmerman rolled image**
Reply
0
#97 to #96 - whataphreek (04/12/2015) [-]
**whataphreek used "*roll picture*"**
**whataphreek rolled image**

Please stop
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+1
#94 - anon (04/12/2015) [-]
legit said this to my gf who is a big BB fan when went down on her and managed the most elusive of creatures of getting her to orgasm (next to the point of a girl that would date me)
12>
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