Red Lobsterfest. That black girl from the drunk sex scene in beerfest was sexy as . ICOULDN' T HAVE DAD. PLEASE. u/ HY, DAD? mu CAN' T KEEP Seeu. AN so RIGHT TH lobsters Jesus Sausage gawd red
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[ 41 comments ]
> hey anon, wanna give your opinion?
asd
User avatar #5 - obsidicus
Reply +63 123456789123345869
(03/28/2014) [-]
"And he [Jesus] said to them, “Then are you also without understanding? Do you not see that whatever goes into a person from outside cannot defile him, since it enters not his heart but his stomach, and is expelled?”(Thus he declared all foods clean.)" Mark 7:19
#21 to #5 - anon id: 128f81a1
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/28/2014) [-]
It perfectly shows how little people that made up bible knew and why religions are fake. Of course it goes to your heart, your heart is build from atoms you ate. Allmighty son of god would know how human body works, but people 2000 year ago didn't. It's all made up bullsh*t.
User avatar #23 to #21 - slayton
Reply +4 123456789123345869
(03/28/2014) [-]
It's not literally referring to food becoming a part of a persons biological heart, it's referring to the concept of being clean in the eyes of the Lord by obeying the Covenant of Law in anticipation of the Messiah, and that following of the Law is no longer mandatory for salvation. You don't have to believe the teachings of the Bible, but at least know and understand the teachings that you oppose, otherwise you come off as proud to be willfully ignorant, just as you did here.
#28 to #5 - presentdent
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/28/2014) [-]
So, blowjobs are back on the table, too? Even gay blowjobs? Thanks, Jesus!
User avatar #25 to #5 - luquaz
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(03/28/2014) [-]
"It is easier for Heaven and Earth to pass away than for the smallest part of the letter of the law to become invalid." (Luke 16:17)

Jesus didn't want to invalidate the OT.
User avatar #17 to #5 - NerdforChrist
Reply +4 123456789123345869
(03/28/2014) [-]
God Bless the both of you
User avatar #10 to #5 - slayton
Reply +16 123456789123345869
(03/28/2014) [-]
Exactly. The laws of Leviticus and the rest of the Old Testament are no longer mandatory for Christians. Following the Law was a way for man to stay in God's grace by obeying in anticipation of the Messiah. Jesus' death and atonement rendered salvation through Law obsolete, though the Bible says it is still good for reproof and instruction.
#13 to #10 - obsidicus
Reply +7 123456789123345869
(03/28/2014) [-]
well said good sir!
#14 to #13 - strigt
Reply +4 123456789123345869
(03/28/2014) [-]
When religion and reasonable persons meet.
Pic likely not related.
#35 to #10 - anon id: 1f8fec22
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/28/2014) [-]
This be Jesus saying that if you disobey the law you are a douche.
Matthew 5:17-19

"Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them. For truly I tell you, until heaven and earth disappear, not the smallest letter, not the least stroke of a pen, will by any means disappear from the Law until everything is accomplished. Therefore anyone who sets aside one of the least of these commands and teaches others accordingly will be called least in the kingdom of heaven, but whoever practices and teaches these commands will be called great in the kingdom of heaven."
User avatar #37 to #35 - slayton
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/28/2014) [-]
Yes, but notice that those who forget and don't follow the Law are still in the Kingdom. Jesus was stating that just because your sins were forgiven and your salvation no longer hinged on following the Law didn't mean that you were free to do whatever you want without consequences. For example, lying and not atoning for the lie through sacrifice, would have led to hell before the Crucifixion. Now that the Crucifixion has occurred, lying will not cause you to lose your salvation, but it will cause problems in your life, and you will be considered lesser than those who obeyed the commandments when in heaven.
#38 to #37 - anon id: 1f8fec22
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/28/2014) [-]
Bitch please "For I tell you that unless your righteousness surpasses that of the Pharisees and the teachers of the law, you will certainly not enter the kingdom of heaven."
User avatar #40 to #38 - slayton
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/28/2014) [-]
Exactly. If you could get in through righteousness you would have to be even more righteous than the Pharisees, who followed the Law almost perfectly. Jesus was explaining the futility of trying to enter heaven by being a good person or doing good works. Your attempts to use Biblical quotes completely out of context don't do anything but make me wonder if you either aren't capable of recognizing context or are just being facetious.
#8 - pizzaweed
Reply +25 123456789123345869
(03/28/2014) [-]
The face of a man who tried to **** a lobster
User avatar #2 - halotalim
Reply +11 123456789123345869
(03/27/2014) [-]
Jesus touched the dead and lepers, both were consideredc unclean. He even said "Its not what you touch that makes you clean or not, but whatb ids in your heart."
User avatar #24 to #2 - angelious
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/28/2014) [-]
sooo in order to make sure my enemies will suffer even in after life i should stab them through their heart with lobsters=?
User avatar #4 to #2 - obsidicus
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(03/28/2014) [-]
Correct quote is "it is not what goes into the mouth that defiles a person, but what comes out of the mouth; this defiles a person.” Matthew 15:11
User avatar #6 to #4 - halotalim
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(03/28/2014) [-]
Correct, thank you, showing that there was no unclean touched things, but he still refrained from some to keep from having a devision from hius listeners.
User avatar #9 - brokentrucker
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/28/2014) [-]
So I heard somewhere that lobsters are immortal.

I have not done further research, just some dude talking about "They can't die of old age"

I thought it was pretty neat.
#16 to #9 - anon id: 966d5631
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/28/2014) [-]
The exact observation was closer to 'the death rate in a population did not increase with average age'.
User avatar #11 to #9 - mrgoodlove [OP]
Reply +5 123456789123345869
(03/28/2014) [-]
It's true, they don't die naturally, they just get bigger. My friend and I have this theory that deep in the sea there are giant lobsters waiting for their day to strike.
User avatar #12 to #11 - brokentrucker
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/28/2014) [-]
I was also told that there is a massive, reef sized one that has fish literally feeding it to keep their home alive.
User avatar #15 to #12 - ninjaroo
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(03/28/2014) [-]
Probably lies. They technically don't die of old age, but as their shell gets too big and cracks it gets infected and they die from that.
#1 - vitunhenkka
Reply +4 123456789123345869
(03/27/2014) [-]
**vitunhenkka rolled a random image posted in comment #1033478 at Friendly **why he hates shellfish so much
**vitunhenkka rolled a random image posted in comment #1033478 at Friendly **why he hates shellfish so much
User avatar #3 to #1 - thewulfman
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(03/27/2014) [-]
They set fire to his villages and killed his familes?
#19 to #3 - justleaving
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/28/2014) [-]
#32 - jiggyoog
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(03/28/2014) [-]
living lobsters are blue.....
cooked lobsters turn red
User avatar #22 - muffintime
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(03/28/2014) [-]
Gods just being shellfish...
#18 - justleaving
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(03/28/2014) [-]
#33 - bulanu
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(03/28/2014) [-]
**bulanu rolled image**
#26 - kez
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/28/2014) [-]
Can anyone explain to me the bit where Jesus has just been put on the cross?

God gets angry and a storm starts to happen / clouds but then Jesus says to god its all ok and its not their fault and then Gods like ok, I understand.

God is Jesus yeah? So is he talking to himself? and why?

How can God be reasoned with? Hes all knowing. He knew he would be persuaded before it happened.

Thats the bit I read when I was about 5 that made me not believe in God. Can anyone explain it to me? Genuinely curious
#29 to #26 - sirbutterballs
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/28/2014) [-]
You could also think of it as Jesus as an Avatar. While he does share the same soul as God he has a separate type of consciousness. That's why even though there's God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit Christianity is still Monotheistic.
User avatar #30 to #26 - evanxzile
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/28/2014) [-]
If you expect religion to make sense, you are in for a disappointment.
User avatar #27 to #26 - douevensax
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(03/28/2014) [-]
All depends on the church.

I'm a mormon, so I believe God and Jesus are seperate.

Jesus says to God that the Romans know not what they do, which is true to some extent, but you can't really NOT blame them for killing him. Jesus did nothing but help, and they killed him. The Roman king (or whatever his title was) was persuaded by the people to kill him.

With this kind of disrespect and blaspheme, it was needed to show that what they did was very wrong.

At least that's what I remember, been a while since I fully studied that part.

Anyways, shouldn't you try reading again, since 5-year-olds tend to miss some things, and I don't really trust what I remember from more than 10 years ago.
User avatar #39 to #27 - mormon
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(03/28/2014) [-]
If you watch that new Son of God movie it shows the political side of everything and in a sense explains why they wanted him dead so badly even after all the amazing things and miracles he had accomplished.
User avatar #41 to #39 - douevensax
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/28/2014) [-]
Huh ill check it out.
#31 to #27 - kez
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/28/2014) [-]
Nah ive read that bit since. But it was when i first read it when i was about 5 that I began to question what I was being told.
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