If your gonna spoil **** do it right you ******* faggot
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The first line of the opening crawl is "Luke Skywalker has disappeared."
The first sentence in the movie is "This will begin to make things right", said by Max von Sydow. Poe Dameron came to him to get the map to Luke Skywalker for The Resistance.
Max von Sydow's role is just a cameo, he has about 10 sentences before Kylo Ren kills him.
The Empire is now The First Order, The Rebels are now The Resistance, more extreme fraction of the New Republic, who are supposedly pussies. We only see the New Republic planet for a few seconds before it's destroyed by the Starkiller base.
Almost no one in the movie believes that Jedis and Luke Skywalker ever existed.
Kylo Ren captures Poe and uses the Force to stop laser blast so that it remains floating in the air, frozen in place.
Finn helps captured Poe to escape from the Star Destroyer only because he cannot pilot TIE fighter himself. Poe is an expert pilot, Finn can shoot lasers. They become friends.
Finn's "real name" is FN and four numbers. Poe starts to call him "Finn" because it's easier to pronounce. FN likes it.
After 20 minutes, we are supposed to think that Poe Dameron was killed in the TIE crash on Jakku. He reappers near the end (he ejected before the crash) to lead the attack on Starkiller base. He is not in the film very much. Finn wears Poe's jacket during most of the movie.
Rey meets Finn, they steal the Millennium Falcon from the junkyard and fly away. Han and Chewie catch them soon, followed by two groups of racially-stereotyped space gangsters.
Chewbacca is wounded by space gangsters soon after he appears and spends most of the remaining time doing nothing. Rey takes his place as Falcon's pilot, proving herself to Han.
Kylo Ren is Han and Leia's son. He is "Master of The Knights of Ren" but it's not explained what it means.
Kylo Ren's real name is Ben. He was trained by Luke but then turned to the Dark Side which was the reason for Luke blaming himself and disappearing.
The Starkiller base charges by draining suns and then destroys whole solar systems. The shot in trailer with Kylo Ren and red flare is the Starkiller base firing. Guess what, the Starkiller base can be destroyed by flying in her trench and shooting the "oscillator" or whatever.
Han meets Kylo at the Starkiller base/planet and tries to persuade him to return with him. "I am torn apart, father. But I know what I must do. Can you help me?" - "Of course, my son." They almost embrace. Kylo pierces Han with lightsaber. "Thank you, father." Dead Han falls into the shaft on the Starkiller base. Yes, he is dead. Most definitely.
Leader Snoke is the bald CGI bad guy with large scar across his face. He has snake-like movements but his body is never clearly seen. His motivation or origin is never explained. He gives orders to Kylo Ren and General Hux (who hate each other). Most of the characters don't know about Snoke's existence.
General Hux has screaming monologue in front of thousands of Stormtroopers: "We stand upon this mighty weapon you've built. Everyone will bow to The First Order. Today will be remembered as the last day of The Republic!" Afterwards, all Stormtroopers raise their fists. Very nice Der Fuhrer moment.
Fan service: Holochess. The levitating training ball from Episode 4. Admiral Ackbar. Rey living in the AT-AT wreckage. "1138" mentioned. Garbage chute and trash compactor mentioned. Kesel Run mentioned.
Simon Pegg plays an alien called Ankar Plutt who took care of Rey when she was very little and her parents disappeared. Now he runs a junkyard on Jakku and buys scrap from Rey. His face and voice is not recognizable.
Apart from Han and Chewie, all the "original characters" (Leia, R2D2, C3PO) only appear after two thirds of the movie, when The Resistance lands on Maz Kanata's planet.
Maz Kanata (small CGI gypsy) is the new Yoda and explains everything cryptically. Nobody understands her.**