Prehistoric yet Golden. why not ask them for help. A lessen I learned in the B! ! liltle! yen masturebate while attached kiril a heart meninger, it scares the n 420 my friendz
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Prehistoric yet Golden. why not ask them for help. A lessen I learned in the B! ! liltle! yen masturebate while attached kiril a heart meninger, it scares the n

why not ask them for help

A lessen I learned in the B! ! liltle! yen
masturebate while attached kiril a heart meninger,
it scares the nurses a let.
doctormaniac.
No, we don' t understand.
This actually happens.
We got a he year old boy en eur unit ems, because Pediatrics was full,
and it' s abouta in the morning and all the nurses are at the nurses
station having a break and we' re all talking and having a laugh and then
all eta sudden this kids heart gees CRAZY.
So we call the cede and I grab the crash cart and about (ii) of isjust take
off running down the hall and we bust in the mere and this kid isjust
sitting there with his hand around hotjunk booking MORTIFIED.
So gewust sen of backed out ofthe mere quietly, walked calmly to the
stairwell, and had a total and complete hysterical breakdown.
It was the funniest shit aver.
Orr/ god SC) many nurses have told me stories like these.
...
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Views: 43613 Submitted: 07/27/2014
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[ 125 comments ]
> hey anon, wanna give your opinion?
asd
#1 - handofdestiny
Reply +231 123456789123345869
(07/27/2014) [-]
from that day on he was called..
User avatar #88 to #1 - pillsmakeitgrow
Reply +5 123456789123345869
(07/28/2014) [-]
Fapoleon Bonerparte
#18 to #1 - bujo
Reply +29 123456789123345869
(07/28/2014) [-]
Fapoleon sounds like the name of a mastubating eevee evloution.
User avatar #8 - evilanakie
Reply +164 123456789123345869
(07/28/2014) [-]
i have to have my heart rate checked alot
one time the nurse was kinda hot
he touched my hand to put the monitor on
and the damn thing sounded like i was having a heart attack
"you dont need to worry it wont hurt you"
BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP
"please calm down if you can you can lay your head down on the pillows if you want"
*slides me over to the bed and pushes me to the pillows*
BEEPBEEPEBEOEPEBEPEP
"ive gotta get a doc in here"
i calm down
doc comes in
"theres nothing wrong with the kid why did the monitor go off like that'
*hello nurse enters the room*
BEEP BEEP BEIZABLE BEEP
the nurse catches on and begins laughing
"ill be just out here if you need me doc i think you can take this one"
end of session
nurse winks at me
**** my life
#9 to #8 - evilanakie
0 123456789123345869
has deleted their comment [-]
#53 to #8 - anon id: 07181ada
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(07/28/2014) [-]
you fapped every time the nurse came in..
#11 to #8 - anthonyweiner
Reply +74 123456789123345869
(07/28/2014) [-]
User avatar #12 to #11 - evilanakie
Reply +43 123456789123345869
(07/28/2014) [-]
i dont know if a teenage girl with serious heart probalmos meaning any strain on my body could put me in hospital inc masturbating to frequently and a mid 20s male nurse could frickle frackle
User avatar #22 to #12 - sinonyx
Reply +16 123456789123345869
(07/28/2014) [-]
could you repeat that with less gibberish?
#32 to #22 - flyingcube
Reply +56 123456789123345869
(07/28/2014) [-]
She's a teenage girl it's physically impossible for her to not talk with at least some degree of gibberish.
User avatar #33 to #32 - evilanakie
Reply +17 123456789123345869
(07/28/2014) [-]
exactly
#39 to #22 - karrotj
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(07/28/2014) [-]
....i dont know why but i actually understood it lol
User avatar #41 to #39 - sinonyx
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(07/28/2014) [-]
inc masturbating to frequently and a mid 20s male nurse could frickle frackle

please explain this part
#42 to #41 - karrotj
Reply +17 123456789123345869
(07/28/2014) [-]
lol im guessing since she has heart problems masterbating to much would hospitalize her, and a hot male nurse would prolly kill her
#60 to #12 - kingcomic
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(07/28/2014) [-]
what heart problem?
#13 to #12 - anthonyweiner
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(07/28/2014) [-]
Their might be some issues with that...
#118 to #12 - gummybearwarrior
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(07/28/2014) [-]
are you the real life version Katawa Shoujo?
#2 - fezzo
Reply +89 123456789123345869
(07/27/2014) [-]
These are the kinds of things you anticipate when fapping sneakily in a location other than your own house.
This kid is not going cum far in the world
User avatar #21 to #2 - thingexplain
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(07/28/2014) [-]
You figure out a way to keep your heart rate down while fapping, and I'll make pamphlets and sell them to patients for twenty dollars each. We'll make millions!
User avatar #49 to #21 - sursum
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(07/28/2014) [-]
I was about to say record regular heart-rate, play on loop while disconnecting yourself, fap, reconnect. Then I realised that there is probably some nurses room with every active bed hooked up to a computer or something. God damnit.
User avatar #51 to #49 - thingexplain
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(07/28/2014) [-]
Since EKG monitors go by the electrical impulses of the heart muscle rather than sound or pressure, there's no good way to record and play back. There is an EKG room on each floor, but a full nurse is too expensive to monitor each one. Instead you get an "EKG monitoring specialist;" a average joe who has been taught the rough basics of EKG reading and stuck in a room to watch 15 live feeds at once for 9.50 an hour.
User avatar #52 to #51 - sursum
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(07/28/2014) [-]
As I expected.
#4 - envinite
Reply +75 123456789123345869
(07/28/2014) [-]
And no sex?
#20 - yorker
Reply +65 123456789123345869
(07/28/2014) [-]
>No, you don't understand
Yes, I do. Masturbation and arousal make your heart beat faster, I don't need your little comment from the peanut gallery telling me I don't get it, so why don't you shut the **** up.
#82 to #20 - penileburglar
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(07/28/2014) [-]
He wasn't implying that you don't understand that masturbation makes your heart beat faster, he was implying that you don't understand that this isn't just a joke and that it actually happens frequently.   
   
So, in the end, not only do you not understand, but you don't even understand what you don't understand.
He wasn't implying that you don't understand that masturbation makes your heart beat faster, he was implying that you don't understand that this isn't just a joke and that it actually happens frequently.

So, in the end, not only do you not understand, but you don't even understand what you don't understand.
User avatar #116 to #82 - yorker
Reply -1 123456789123345869
(07/28/2014) [-]
No, I understood that. It's painfully obvious that it isn't a joke and that it really happens
User avatar #119 to #116 - penileburglar
Reply -1 123456789123345869
(07/28/2014) [-]
No, you obviously didn't. Unless you just randomly decided to stick the sentence 'Masturbation and arousal make your heart beat faster' into your post for no reason whatsoever, then you obviously misunderstood what he was implying that someone might not understand.

And it may be to you, but I'm sure plenty of people out there wouldn't have imagined that anyone would masturbate in a hospital bed, nor that it would effect the heart monitor as much as it does. You're not the only person on the internet, bro, and there are certainly a lot of kids on tumblr who wouldn't know these things.
User avatar #120 to #119 - yorker
Reply -1 123456789123345869
(07/28/2014) [-]
>wouldn't imagine anyone would masturbate in a hospital bed
you stupid dumbass
#121 to #120 - penileburglar
Reply -1 123456789123345869
(07/28/2014) [-]
...Your reading abilities *really* leave something to be desired.     
   
I said 'plenty of people out there' not 'I.'  You're the 'stupid dumbass' if you really don't think there are innocent people out there who don't realize that there are enough perverts out there for this to happen regularly.
...Your reading abilities *really* leave something to be desired.

I said 'plenty of people out there' not 'I.' You're the 'stupid dumbass' if you really don't think there are innocent people out there who don't realize that there are enough perverts out there for this to happen regularly.
User avatar #122 to #121 - yorker
Reply -1 123456789123345869
(07/28/2014) [-]
people are not as naive as you think
User avatar #123 to #122 - penileburglar
Reply -1 123456789123345869
(07/28/2014) [-]
Oh yes, yes they are.

This wouldn't be such an interesting story for nurses to tell if everyone just assumed it happened all the time.

We're talking about the population of tumblr, here. There are most certainly enough naive folk out there.
#24 to #20 - procrasturbate
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(07/28/2014) [-]
#25 to #24 - yorker
Reply +5 123456789123345869
(07/28/2014) [-]
step up *****
#26 to #25 - procrasturbate
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(07/28/2014) [-]
Checkmate.
Checkmate.
#40 to #20 - bogbean
Reply +5 123456789123345869
(07/28/2014) [-]
"the peanut gallery"
"the peanut gallery"
#28 - venomousvalentine
Reply +61 123456789123345869
(07/28/2014) [-]
As someone who intends to be a nurse, if this happened and the person was attractive, I'd probably end up turning it into a stereotypical porno.
User avatar #64 to #28 - pulluspardus
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(07/28/2014) [-]
Lol wishful thinking.
enjoy cleaning people's *********** bed covers.
#69 to #28 - margrave
Reply +5 123456789123345869
(07/28/2014) [-]
Comment Picture
#46 to #28 - thegamefaceman
Reply +26 123456789123345869
(07/28/2014) [-]
You'd have to be hot for them to be interested.
You'd have to be hot for them to be interested.
#47 to #46 - venomousvalentine
Reply +15 123456789123345869
(07/28/2014) [-]
Im not exceptionally attractive, but I'd say not bad.
#48 to #47 - thegamefaceman
Reply +21 123456789123345869
(07/28/2014) [-]
I hope I didn't hit a nerve. I realised after posting that comment it sounded like I called you ugly. This was not intended.
I hope I didn't hit a nerve. I realised after posting that comment it sounded like I called you ugly. This was not intended.
User avatar #55 to #48 - venomousvalentine
Reply +11 123456789123345869
(07/28/2014) [-]
Its funnyjunk. Isn't that normal?
#54 to #48 - xtwinblade
Reply +5 123456789123345869
(07/28/2014) [-]
>apologise to female after not being rude   
either you're a shiny ******* white knight, or you want to get on her good side for the nudie pictures.   
this is the ******* internet, who gives a ****
>apologise to female after not being rude
either you're a shiny ******* white knight, or you want to get on her good side for the nudie pictures.
this is the ******* internet, who gives a ****
User avatar #98 to #54 - megavoir
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(07/28/2014) [-]
That's not a girl, though.
It's Snake.fire.
User avatar #124 to #98 - xtwinblade
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(07/28/2014) [-]
i have been told
User avatar #62 to #54 - venomousvalentine
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(07/28/2014) [-]
meh.
User avatar #57 to #54 - popnotes
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(07/28/2014) [-]
>implying
#59 to #57 - xtwinblade
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(07/28/2014) [-]
Comment Picture
#125 to #54 - thegamefaceman
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(07/29/2014) [-]
I didn't even know it was a chick haha   
I just hate being a prick unless I'm actually trying, you ugly cunt.   
 luv u bby <3
I didn't even know it was a chick haha
I just hate being a prick unless I'm actually trying, you ugly cunt.
luv u bby <3
#91 to #48 - caesarslegion
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(07/28/2014) [-]
God that was the most White Knight cringey apology I've ever seen.
#5 - Sworley
Reply +56 123456789123345869
(07/28/2014) [-]
Comment Picture
User avatar #7 to #5 - tehweave
Reply +17 123456789123345869
(07/28/2014) [-]
What could that possibly treat? Besides boredom.
#16 to #7 - xcoreyx
Reply +15 123456789123345869
(07/28/2014) [-]
Something to do with the prostate I would assume
#10 to #7 - critizer
Reply +10 123456789123345869
(07/28/2014) [-]
healthism
User avatar #44 to #7 - urbanlegends
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(07/28/2014) [-]
it helps treat patients with some crap called phimosis
#56 to #44 - anon id: a289ee8c
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(07/28/2014) [-]
I had that. It's the worst thing ever.
#68 to #56 - chubbies
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(07/28/2014) [-]
But to cure it you masturbate. how is that awful?
#19 - oletosaluar
Reply +23 123456789123345869
(07/28/2014) [-]
Comment Picture
User avatar #45 - jaynsilentbob
Reply +19 123456789123345869
(07/28/2014) [-]
Why the do they start the comments with 'no you don't understand'? No one's said anything prior to your comment. You're not correcting anybody. **** i hate tumblr.
User avatar #63 to #45 - pulluspardus
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(07/28/2014) [-]
nO YOU DONT UNDERSTAND
#66 to #63 - jaynsilentbob
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(07/28/2014) [-]
Comment Picture
#65 to #45 - anon id: 7ef26316
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(07/28/2014) [-]
no you don't understand, I don't care.
#34 - mathmanchris
Reply +17 123456789123345869
(07/28/2014) [-]
"So you have a weak heart? Let me check this out real quick... "
#61 to #34 - EpicAnon
Reply +9 123456789123345869
(07/28/2014) [-]
Comment Picture