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Potato Salad

HOW TO RUN A SUCCESSFUL VIDEOGAME
ttritts' ratt' r"
STEP 1
SET A REASONABLE, ATTAINABLE GOAL FOR
HOUR SIMPLE PROJECT
STEP 2
HAHA ser WI INSANELY LOW
GOAL FOR HOUR HUGE, QUICKSCOPE
MASTERWIG/ T GAME
GATHER HOUR TEAM FROM A POOL OF PEOPLE
WHO ARE WILLING TO WORK FOR PEANUTS
UNDER THE LEADERSHIP OF SOMEONE WHO
HAS NEVER DEALT WITH AWNING ON THIS
SCALE (HOW
I KNOW C
PLUS PLUS
STEP 4
my SOME STRETCH eons To
UP THAT Fl/ NORGE
Mute WILL was wow,
vat Mil.
sist,
Pathedic; To
STEP 5
ser A TOTALLY BELIEVABLE one
so PEOPLE WILL GET PI/ MAED EARLS
STEP 6
GET THOSE PHAT STAC/
STEP 7
GET, LIKE, HALF OF THOSE PHAT HACKS
TAKEN KICKSTART ER FEES AND TAXES
STEP 8
COWER HELPLEASE': I AS IT SLOWLY BEGINS
TO DAWN ON HOU THAT EMU HAVE AN
INCREDIBLE NAIVE UNDERSTANDING OF
GAME DEVELOPMENT, AND EMU ARE SOLE}!
RESPONSIBLE FOR WASTING THOUSANDS
UPON THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS AND
COUNTLESS MANWHORES
STEP 9
ABANDON SHIP AND CANCEL THE GAME, AS
HOU’ RE NOW A BROKEN SHELL OF THE PERSON
MU ONCE WERE - BEFORE HOUR DREAMS
CRASHED AND BURNED AROUND EMU AND
HOUR REPUTATION AND SENSE OF H
WERE DRAGGED THROUGH THE MUD.
IT' S LIKE A GAME
THAT HAS, LIKE, A 10% CHANCE
OF EVER EVEN EXISTING!"
...
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Views: 33228
Favorited: 59
Submitted: 06/10/2015
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#11 - xxjmacxx (06/11/2015) [-]
"9.7/10" - IGN

Twas clever.
User avatar #18 to #11 - punkeryo (06/11/2015) [-]
because of the water, right?
User avatar #73 to #18 - canichaikait ONLINE (06/11/2015) [-]
I thought it was 7.8/10, too much water...
#15 to #11 - vladi (06/11/2015) [-]
"twas"
#8 - yugiohkris (06/11/2015) [-]
*cough**cough*
User avatar #72 to #8 - joaomartins ONLINE (06/11/2015) [-]
Does anyone knows what happened to Simon ??
#81 to #72 - fcrocker (06/11/2015) [-]
pepsi
User avatar #82 to #81 - joaomartins ONLINE (06/11/2015) [-]
Is he really dead or is it just a rumor like last time ?
#86 to #82 - fcrocker (06/11/2015) [-]
Nah I'm just kidding. He's seems fine, going by his Twitter. Might still be in hospital
User avatar #87 to #86 - joaomartins ONLINE (06/11/2015) [-]
Ohhhhhh I don't have a twiiter acount, thanks for the information!
#67 to #8 - bohemianblasphemy (06/11/2015) [-]
At least TUG became a thing in its place
#83 to #67 - fcrocker (06/11/2015) [-]
Gee whiz, another voxel based sandbox survival game! There aren't enough of those going around.
#26 to #8 - unfitninjuh (06/11/2015) [-]
the fact that Yogcast left with their half-million makes me want to ******* hit someone. This makes you think why GamerGate didn't start earlier
#37 to #26 - xgolgothax (06/11/2015) [-]
How did none of the 13000 people that backed that not sue them? A prosecutor could make a good case for criminal charges there.
User avatar #44 to #37 - theruse (06/11/2015) [-]
You can't sue kickstarter campains because it's like a donation thing.
#46 to #44 - xgolgothax (06/11/2015) [-]
Other kickstarters have been sued, and this story seems like straight up fraud, a la bait n switch.

Here's a separate story about someone suing kickstarted. www.geekwire.com/2014/attorney-general-asylum-playing-cards-crowdfunded-project/
#80 to #46 - xgolgothax (06/11/2015) [-]
Who the **** is thumbing this comment down? For being informative? Thumb this down too then you ignorant ***** .
#35 to #26 - anon (06/11/2015) [-]
didnt they give out free games as refunds?
User avatar #38 to #35 - echotheambient ONLINE (06/11/2015) [-]
They did, for the game "TUG"
#39 to #38 - anon (06/11/2015) [-]
to be fair that is basically the game they were making
User avatar #60 to #26 - chimpaflimp (06/11/2015) [-]
Most of it went to Winterkewl, the company making the game. THEY took it and ran. It's basically the Pirate Tinman incident but on a much larger scale.
User avatar #75 to #26 - mrturferpop (06/11/2015) [-]
Left?
Like, they just stopped doing everything?
Youtube and all?
#50 to #8 - anon (06/11/2015) [-]
autism: the game
#45 to #8 - Tyranitar (06/11/2015) [-]
They gave like 95% of the money to the company making the game for them, and THEY were the ones that cancelled and ran off with it.   
   
They are still giving all rewards aside from the game itself to the backers, and all game-related rewards were replaced with access to a game that plays similarly to how Yogventures was intended to be.   
   
And, let me repeat this, Kickstarter's own guidelines say that donating is a gamble, you aren't guaranteed a desired result, and there is no requirement by the people running it to provide refunds if failure happens.
They gave like 95% of the money to the company making the game for them, and THEY were the ones that cancelled and ran off with it.

They are still giving all rewards aside from the game itself to the backers, and all game-related rewards were replaced with access to a game that plays similarly to how Yogventures was intended to be.

And, let me repeat this, Kickstarter's own guidelines say that donating is a gamble, you aren't guaranteed a desired result, and there is no requirement by the people running it to provide refunds if failure happens.
#78 to #45 - xgolgothax (06/11/2015) [-]
Kickstarter itself is not responsible for refunds as they are making no guarantees, but that doesnt shield project creators from civil and criminal liability for fraud. As with the story I posted >>#46.
User avatar #66 to #45 - juter (06/11/2015) [-]
So, the YOGS arent at fault?
User avatar #69 to #66 - Tyranitar (06/11/2015) [-]
They're at fault for trusting those developers with a project they couldn't handle, but not of being scammers. They didn't gain anything through this, and in fact, they are spending their own money to give the backers their rewards and a game code for their troubles, which they are in no way obligated to do.
User avatar #70 to #69 - juter (06/11/2015) [-]
Okay, that makes me feel better for loving them
#95 to #70 - anon (06/11/2015) [-]
I know right? you can't not love them
User avatar #71 to #69 - Tyranitar (06/11/2015) [-]
Heck, I don't even know how much of that money Winterkewl spent on the game. They could've just decided "Hey, we got half a million dollars from these guys, let's just take it and retire early"
#79 to #71 - xgolgothax (06/11/2015) [-]
That's what Yogs is saying, but it sounds shady as **** . I realize they were novices but anyone with a brain would have hired an attorney from the outset to negotiate a business deal of that magnitude, and a contract would have been signed. You don't just get to take someone's money in return for services and not perform. And I don't see anything anywhere suggesting that they went after winterkewl to recoup their assets.....that seems like a big damn "oh well" to me.
#42 to #8 - anon (06/11/2015) [-]
Ow man i was almost suckered into kickstarting that when the hype was real, but thought i'd just wait and see and just forgot about it. Bullet dodged i suppose.
#5 - TrekieTwo (06/11/2015) [-]
How to make easy money from chumps.
>Make a "gaming company" to represent you.
>Make "concept art" of a game that you want to make
>Hire a friend of a friend to make a prerendered trailer of said game.
>Make a barely functional base model of a game.
>Post it for sale as early release and claim that you will add features in the future.
>Use buzzword features Open World, open ending, dynamic levels, dynamic characters, sandbox, massively multiplayer, etc. to draw in drooling idiots.
>Since its early-access and you said that you will add features, no-one can criticize
you for making a **** game.
>???
>Profit! With occasional releases of base features with promises of more to keep the money going.
>Once the money starts to dwindle claim that the game project is a failure and that your "gaming company" is folding.
>Since the people who have payed you payed for the incomplete game you have no legal obligation to return the money.
>Disappear with the money, and enjoy it.
This probably doesn't work anymore, but I've seen my friends fall for this so much that I can sense that the game developer will run away from their money before it happens.
User avatar #17 to #5 - forsakensaint ONLINE (06/11/2015) [-]
It works, if there is 1 thing the earth and humanity will always have, it is morons and gullible chumps.
#68 to #5 - anon (06/11/2015) [-]
Comment Picture
User avatar #7 to #5 - Kadzait (06/11/2015) [-]
Wollay, you heartless bastard.
I trusted you.
Cube World was gonna be the next Minceraft.
User avatar #10 to #7 - yudodat ONLINE (06/11/2015) [-]
Dude Cube World was so good and then he just stopped. He made it to release,finally updated 3 months later, and just stopped.
User avatar #51 to #10 - yuichka ONLINE (06/11/2015) [-]
TRION is a big company and probably was the end of Cube World ever since Trove announcement.
#21 - jagerhaus (06/11/2015) [-]
And then the diamond in the rough I don't know about you but I love this game
User avatar #90 to #21 - heartbleed ONLINE (06/11/2015) [-]
All they needa do is add content, it's basically feature complete otherwise.
User avatar #23 to #21 - pickaxe ONLINE (06/11/2015) [-]
I wanna get it once the price goes down a tad bit.
roundbased rougelike with neat visuals.
seems right up my alley.
User avatar #29 to #23 - jagerhaus (06/11/2015) [-]
It's also balls to the wall. I have lost so many adventurers.
User avatar #30 to #29 - pickaxe ONLINE (06/11/2015) [-]
perfect.
User avatar #32 to #30 - jagerhaus (06/11/2015) [-]
The worst part is that the RNG gods will smite you with hysteria. One time I was going to heal and save him the way dying in battle works is you hit 0 and then randomly every turn there is a high chance of death and a small one you just stay alive until the next turn. Completely random percentages and my healer was stressed out and lashed out at the guy I wanted to heal spouting nonsense like he only wanted him for his body or something I dunno It's amazing.
User avatar #33 to #32 - thesoulseeker (06/11/2015) [-]
Last I saw death door was based on a resist stat. There is a video of a guy getting a guy with 110% resist death, in other words immortal. Not sure if that would work on the newer versions though.
User avatar #34 to #33 - jagerhaus (06/11/2015) [-]
ah okay cool didn't really know originally it was all rng
User avatar #24 to #21 - skeletorexplains ONLINE (06/11/2015) [-]
The art is refreshing.
User avatar #22 to #21 - sirfapaton (06/11/2015) [-]
Darkest Dungeon is pretty amazing
User avatar #36 to #21 - izimaster (06/11/2015) [-]
Dankest Dungeon was awesome
#53 to #36 - anon (06/11/2015) [-]
Darkest Dungeon is cool but once you have understood the basics, the end game is a bit lacking. i'm still waiting for the cove & darkest dungeon.


Bounty Hunters 48 on Crit
User avatar #1 - wrongopinions (06/11/2015) [-]
Time to start a kickstarter to get myself a less cancerous text color, donate your greenies to me and you will have a 10% chance that theme accounts will become less cancerous because of it
#12 to #1 - physicsdude (06/11/2015) [-]
Would have donated mine, but it's gone. Didn't know items had time limits
User avatar #55 to #12 - tacticalhog (06/11/2015) [-]
Only have time linits when activated, I havent posted anything in a while but have 10+
#61 to #55 - physicsdude (06/11/2015) [-]
I never used mine, but it's gone now
User avatar #3 to #1 - ultaguide (06/11/2015) [-]
Is there a youtube page I could follow?
#6 to #1 - soyfriedbryce ONLINE (06/11/2015) [-]
srs, get on that text colour bruh.
#49 - cornellexplain ONLINE (06/11/2015) [-]
Bonus step:
If your Kickstarter doesn't make enough, make a video slagging everybody off!
User avatar #4 - caucasianblackbear ONLINE (06/11/2015) [-]
A little inaccurate.

IGN would 10/10 the **** out of that game.
User avatar #43 to #4 - timoyr (06/11/2015) [-]
IGN actually gives less 10s than most other sites (unless it's a Nintendo game).
#13 to #4 - iflirtwithanyone (06/11/2015) [-]
Nah, life size earth had too much water.
#20 - ciacheczko (06/11/2015) [-]
Or you could just start a project for a potato salad.
#27 to #14 - unfitninjuh (06/11/2015) [-]
You know damn well I'm going to ask for the letter T
User avatar #58 - pwnigator (06/11/2015) [-]
Still waiting for A Hat in Time...
Still waiting for Shantae Half Genie Hero...
(Still) waiting for Yuuka Laylee...

And you know what? Those games are gonna ******* great. But then there are asswipes, that think they can run off with the money. However when I think of all the great **** that's to come, I couldn't care less.
User avatar #19 - captainyoshi ONLINE (06/11/2015) [-]
A Kickstarter Video
#2 - nexdemise (06/11/2015) [-]
Man it's like DayZ all over again.
User avatar #92 - failtolawl (06/11/2015) [-]
star citizen in a nut shell.

literally just animations and a tech demo of a 6 year old engine.
#91 - rollingpicture (06/11/2015) [-]
**rollingpicture used "*roll picture*"**
**rollingpicture rolled image**

My kickstarter
#88 - fcrocker (06/11/2015) [-]
Star Citizen $84M Crowdfunding master race.
Please don't **** us Chris Roberts, please.
User avatar #89 to #88 - heartbleed ONLINE (06/11/2015) [-]
He has so much ******* money I don't think he can possibly **** it up. Also he has a pretty good pedigree.
#93 to #89 - fcrocker (06/11/2015) [-]
Yeah, the FPS animations are looking ridiculously good.
User avatar #94 to #93 - heartbleed ONLINE (06/11/2015) [-]
Damn that looks nice. I needa upgrade my GPU, not sure if a 750 Ti is good enough for that. Also needa upgrade my wallet...
#96 to #94 - fcrocker (06/11/2015) [-]
I've got a GTX 660ti 2GB and a ****** AMD CPU and I can pull about 25-30 fps running on Low at 1080.
Definitley in need of an upgrade.
User avatar #97 to #96 - heartbleed ONLINE (06/12/2015) [-]
I could probably hold a good 40-50 then. Still not enough. I want a 980 or something.
User avatar #85 - nanaastardeviluke (06/11/2015) [-]
Then we come across The Stomping Lands.
That **** was going to be so good. They were releasing patches and upgrading to new stuff but then NO. The creator left and took a crap load of money. He stopped staying in contact with his developers, went on a 3 month "where the **** did this guy go" came back and pushed out two updates, had the game removed from steam and now hes back to being MIA with lotsa money
User avatar #84 - gmarrox ONLINE (06/11/2015) [-]
Bonus step: Hire a raging feminist with literally zero game development experience because her boyfriend works with you, and give her mod powers in your forum


God damn it Mighty No. 9
#77 - anon (06/11/2015) [-]
time to plug... this is my son... www.kickstarter.com/projects/409068845/help-me-help-the-homeless-people-of-new-jersey hes been stuck at 80 for a while, he just needs 20 more, whoever wants to help out please do.
#76 - snowboardingeng (06/11/2015) [-]
The 9.7/10 is what made me actually laugh.
#65 - penelo ONLINE (06/11/2015) [-]
Wasn't that what happened with this game? Heard some people talk about it
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