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pornhub follows through

3 sigma H
Daniel *.
Mum was walking up the stairs and
Pornhub decided to freeze, I had no other
choice. taut "ijt.
me mawh D re:
we heard about in
recent tragedy, as we' re siding u a brand
new far being a legal fan rank it put
DEFILER at segun
Thanks @Pornhub for the brand new
laptop, I really appreciate it. E at is
Perf
Spurn: P. famewhore
036 States 'M"
...
+1090
Views: 29345
Favorited: 70
Submitted: 12/17/2015
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12>
[ 104 comments ]
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95 comments displayed.
Reply
+490
#2 - psychadelicace (12/17/2015) [-]
Just close the lid goodness me
Reply
+11
User avatar #64 to #2 - Voxker (12/18/2015) [-]
nah, your mom will get suspicious on why you shut the laptop as she was walking by
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+72
#68 to #64 - sparkieemae (12/18/2015) [-]
Because obviously smashing your computer is completely inconspicuous.
Reply
0
#91 to #68 - ygdosst (12/18/2015) [-]
I actually got away with that once. Dropped it on the floor and stepped on the screen
They beleived that I was trying to move it to the kitchen to eat and dropped and stepped on it by accident.
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0
User avatar #84 to #68 - poruku (12/18/2015) [-]
But the proof will never be found
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+9
User avatar #63 to #2 - advice (12/18/2015) [-]
that doesn't always fix the problem
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+5
User avatar #87 to #2 - psykobear (12/18/2015) [-]
Then it unfreezes while the lid is closed.
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+6
User avatar #92 to #87 - ImmortalBaconEater (12/18/2015) [-]
Then you can only hope to god that headphones are within reach.
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+1
User avatar #95 to #92 - majormoron (12/18/2015) [-]
And god save you if there isnt.
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+2
User avatar #96 to #95 - asadshoe (12/18/2015) [-]
but headphones should be in in the first place. or else their mom could've heard it. Because smashing a laptop screen does not break the sound of it unless you actually smash the keyboard
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0
User avatar #100 to #96 - majormoron (12/18/2015) [-]
Very tru
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+41
User avatar #47 to #2 - peezle (12/17/2015) [-]
But then no free laptop.
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+35
User avatar #53 to #2 - muffincannibal (12/18/2015) [-]
Maybe the audio was skipping mid moan.
Reply
-7
#58 to #53 - anon (12/18/2015) [-]
It's a laptop, not a CD player
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+4
User avatar #62 to #58 - satansferret (12/18/2015) [-]
Mine's set to do nothing when closed. After 5 minutes it will go to sleep.
Reply
+92
#7 to #2 - anon (12/17/2015) [-]
But then you forgot that sound still plays even when its closed and now you cant hit the mute button
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+155
#23 to #7 - severian (12/17/2015) [-]
>Not using headphones to keep the noise hidden
Reply
+30
#41 to #23 - anon (12/17/2015) [-]
>Using headphones and not hearing people entering or approuching the room
Reply
+47
User avatar #49 to #41 - anarchyamongants (12/17/2015) [-]
>Using both headphones instead of having one ear ready for suspicious noises and people coming near the door
>Not keeping the door always open to master the reflexes needed to shut everything down as soon as you hear someone coming within a 3 meter radius of your room

plebs
Reply
+4
User avatar #51 to #49 - erotictentacle ONLINE (12/18/2015) [-]
pff, that may be so on easy mode, but my room is at the center of the house where people pass by a lot. So i have to keep the door closed and react as soon as someone touches the doorhandle. Elastic pants are my best friends since i started fapping~
Reply
0
User avatar #72 to #51 - mgsexplain (12/18/2015) [-]
Jesus, did your guy's parents and siblings have no respect for your privacy? My parents never went in my room without knocking
Reply
+1
#102 to #72 - erotictentacle ONLINE (12/18/2015) [-]
Well, once my pa noticed my interest in women, he did start knocking. But my mom and older bro dont give two ***** , i think they are actively out to catch me inflagranti.

But hey, at least now i got lightning fast reflexes! Its good for CQC slacking off at work!
Reply
+1
User avatar #89 to #72 - markipliergame (12/18/2015) [-]
As a teenager my parents would always ask why my door was locked, as if they didn't already know.
Reply
0
User avatar #79 to #72 - leifbunny (12/18/2015) [-]
The better question is... how old are you? I ask this mostly because there's a bit of a gap in the last decade or so due to the internet boom. There were porn sites prior to 2005, but still. Parents prior to today's situation typically had a "This is my room, I just let you live here, so no locking doors." kinda mentality. It was brutal.
Reply
+31
#9 to #7 - anon (12/17/2015) [-]
**anonymous used "*roll picture*"**
**anonymous rolled image** yes but if he smashes the screen the sound still couldve been playing. moral of the story make eyecontact and keep fapping next time
Reply
+1
User avatar #48 to #7 - hurpfry (12/17/2015) [-]
The sound plays even when your laptop is closed? The **** kinda laptop do you have?
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+1
User avatar #14 to #7 - fawkwayne (12/17/2015) [-]
& >>#12, >>#9 read the tweet, pornhub froze. dude wasn't worried about sound, he was worried about the picture
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0
User avatar #15 to #14 - shadowdoogen (12/17/2015) [-]
You can also set your settings to lock the screen when it closes.
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-1
User avatar #22 to #7 - lotengo ONLINE (12/17/2015) [-]
sound stops when i close mine.
Or just suffocate that entire thing by pressing the off button
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0
#80 to #7 - anon (12/18/2015) [-]
How the **** does smashing the screen stop the sound
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0
User avatar #66 to #7 - neokun (12/18/2015) [-]
Destroying the screen isn't going to stop the sound.
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0
User avatar #20 to #7 - xdiabolicx (12/17/2015) [-]
Hit the mute button and then close it? Wtf when did everyone suddenly become computer retarded.
0
#19 to #7 - severian has deleted their comment [-]
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0
User avatar #12 to #7 - shadowdoogen (12/17/2015) [-]
Mine mutes sound when closed.
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+77
User avatar #30 to #2 - thesecretbear (12/17/2015) [-]
Hold the power button like you're holding a pillow over someone's face.
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+59
#16 - hcp (12/17/2015) [-]
The PR or what ever department of the company is responsible for these should be given a bloody medal.
Reply
0
User avatar #99 to #16 - synthane (12/18/2015) [-]
That is awesome. I love that the PornHub guy wanted to be clear that they were 50% cosponsors.
Reply
+2
User avatar #52 to #16 - xsap (12/18/2015) [-]
I know a guy who knows a guy who tweeted at pornhub saying "i wanna watch porn on my vication but my phone broke what do you suggest"
and they sent him a ipad
Reply
+75
User avatar #3 - Nahyon (12/17/2015) [-]
>I'd rather do a damage of ~300 $ than being caught fapping to porn like no one would expect a guy watching porn
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0
#93 to #3 - anon (12/18/2015) [-]
That depends on the type of porn and the type of mother.

I know some mothers who would disown their kids over stuff like that.
Reply
+11
#59 to #3 - gagnine (12/18/2015) [-]
Maybe she was one of those "no sexual content ever" moms
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0
#90 to #59 - sedativechunk (12/18/2015) [-]
**sedativechunk used "*roll picture*"**
**sedativechunk rolled image** Or maybe she likes to join in on the action.
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+36
User avatar #6 to #3 - zerocalibre (12/17/2015) [-]
I suppose that heavily depends on the type of porn they were watching, hmm?
Reply
+43
#8 to #3 - solomonkhan ONLINE (12/17/2015) [-]
I would rather break my laptop then have to deal with my mom catching me.
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+31
#31 - tarabostes ONLINE (12/17/2015) [-]
Reply
+9
#38 - MrHighflier (12/17/2015) [-]
>toshiba
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+2
#42 to #38 - someoneforamoment (12/17/2015) [-]
Perfect for scat porn
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0
User avatar #71 - thejusticar (12/18/2015) [-]
"yeah now my mom thinks im autistic, and she is also confused on why pornhub is sending me a computer.".
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+4
#85 to #81 - thejusticar (12/18/2015) [-]
"discreet shipping"
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+6
#86 to #85 - urfunnyman (12/18/2015) [-]
" "discret shipping" "
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+6
#45 - anon (12/17/2015) [-]
**anonymous used "*roll picture*"**
**anonymous rolled image**Guess he even thinks with his dick
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+5
User avatar #13 - zeroqp (12/17/2015) [-]
should have gone for the battery
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+15
#5 - jonball (12/17/2015) [-]
>Toshiba
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+4
User avatar #24 to #5 - nudybooty (12/17/2015) [-]
They are slow as **** but last a long time.
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+6
User avatar #25 to #24 - jonball (12/17/2015) [-]
So does all laptops nowadays, they don't magically stop working.

The thing about Toshiba is that they sell old tech as new, and use cheap materials for their computers (glossy plastic that cracks).
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+1
User avatar #29 to #25 - tarabostes ONLINE (12/17/2015) [-]
So do* all laptops
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+1
User avatar #26 to #25 - nudybooty (12/17/2015) [-]
Meh not really. New laptops break so easily. A lot of new things are made to break just so you have to buy new pieces or a whole new thing. Maybe its just because my Toshiba is, god knows how old, so it's really thick. I've dropped it so many times it still works fine and it's battery lasts a really ******* long time, but you're going to need that extra battery life because of how long it takes to load.
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-1
User avatar #32 to #26 - jonball (12/17/2015) [-]
I got a 5 year old Asus that still works just fine, it even boots up fairly quickly for a 5400rpm under the hood.

What laptops have been off such poor quality it stops working after time?
You seem to not know that most laptops nowadays use nearly the exact same parts (except the cheap brands that use AMD like Toshiba).
Reply
0
User avatar #34 to #32 - nudybooty (12/17/2015) [-]
I should rephrase that; my brother keeps breaking new laptops.

I have an ASUS as well now, only a year or 2 old but I love it. I think I got lucky with my toshiba, because I always hear people complain about them but I've never had any issues. I think it's like 7-10 years old and still works, just slow as **** .

Does your ASUS heat up incredibly quickly when you play games? Mine does and I tried taking it in, but I was told that's normal. I don't think it's normal for a laptop to get hot enough to burn you after only 1 hour of playing a game.
Reply
-1
User avatar #35 to #34 - jonball (12/17/2015) [-]
Consider this, Normal work temps for GPU's nowadays is up to 90 degrees!
That is nearly boiling temps for water, if you want a computer to game on you need one with
proper cooling solutions like the MSI republic of gamers would be necessary too get rid off the heat.
Reply
0
User avatar #57 to #35 - nudybooty (12/18/2015) [-]
boiling point is over 200F.

Also it took me longer than I would like to admit for me to figure out you meant 90 in fahrenheit. I was wondering how your laptop wasn't a pile of melted plastic goop. I also have so clue what MSI is.
Reply
-1
User avatar #101 to #57 - jonball (12/18/2015) [-]
I actually meant Celsius and not Fahrenheit, even my desktop computer's 980 Ti GPU runs at a solid 83*C.

MSI is just another computer brand, they got a line of computers called ''Republic of gamers'' that are designed to play computer games on.

The reason i recommend this line is because this is pretty much the only known line that keeps the ridiculous amount
of heat at bay with proper cooling.
Another thing with overheating laptops is that they will sacrifice performance too cool down too their preferred work temperatures (downclocking the GPU's speed too produce less heat).
Reply
0
User avatar #104 to #101 - nudybooty (12/18/2015) [-]
If laptops heated up to that you would get 3rd degree burns in 2 seconds from having it on your lap.

For now I just have a cooling table with my laptop and don't plan on getting another laptop because I'm working on getting a desktop.
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0
User avatar #70 to #24 - thejusticar (12/18/2015) [-]
thats because they are 75% hard plastic, 15% open space and 10% actual computer.
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+4
#28 to #5 - tarabostes ONLINE (12/17/2015) [-]
GIF
>Jonball
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+4
#50 - anon (12/18/2015) [-]
It seems a bit harsh to hit your mom over the head with your laptop though..

Oh, sorry, you mean you smashed it so she couldn't see it ok, sorry.







KIll
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+3
User avatar #67 - drackmore (12/18/2015) [-]
Your Horse Porn Order is Here!-SBFP Animated
Reply
+2
User avatar #46 - shamrockd (12/17/2015) [-]
or you know you could have closed your computer
Reply
+2
#1 - evilkingganon (12/17/2015) [-]
**evilkingganon used "*roll picture*"**
**evilkingganon rolled image** first guys an idiot
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0
#21 to #1 - anon (12/17/2015) [-]
Dats a Geers art ass.
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+2
User avatar #54 - machiavellianhumor (12/18/2015) [-]
>toshiba

literally the cheapest garbage ever.

also it's fake
Reply
+1
#60 to #54 - anon (12/18/2015) [-]
lol no

also all the components for different brands are made by the same manufacturers.
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0
User avatar #61 to #60 - machiavellianhumor (12/18/2015) [-]
no they their laptops are known to breakdown faster. especially if it's meant to be a gaming computer
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0
User avatar #69 to #61 - highkingtorygg (12/18/2015) [-]
I've had my toshiba since 2009
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0
User avatar #74 to #69 - machiavellianhumor (12/18/2015) [-]
you're probably not a heavy user
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0
User avatar #75 to #74 - highkingtorygg (12/18/2015) [-]
what do you mean by heavy user
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0
User avatar #76 to #75 - machiavellianhumor (12/18/2015) [-]
fat

no i mean use your laptop heavily with resource stuff. like games, editing software, flash stuff, lots of tabs open etc etc etc
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0
User avatar #77 to #76 - highkingtorygg (12/18/2015) [-]
Is 120 lbs fat?

but I do, I run ********* of programs at the same time, gimp, tf2, blender, 14 tabs of firefox all open and one e621 tab playing a flash now that you mentioned it . Seems to be doing fine
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0
User avatar #78 to #77 - machiavellianhumor (12/18/2015) [-]
>tf2

kill yourself
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0
User avatar #88 to #78 - highkingtorygg (12/18/2015) [-]
its the most recent game I have on the computer
would you prefer Deus Ex, Morrowind, Arena, Doom, Doom 2, Minesweeper, etc?
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0
User avatar #98 to #88 - machiavellianhumor (12/18/2015) [-]
isn't dues ex a ps3 game? lol last gen fegit git gud
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0
User avatar #103 to #98 - highkingtorygg (12/18/2015) [-]
Deus Ex is a PC game, made in 2000, and is widely regarded as one of the best PC games to have ever been made.
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-1
User avatar #65 to #61 - paraxo (12/18/2015) [-]
in english please
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0
User avatar #73 to #65 - machiavellianhumor (12/18/2015) [-]
they are cheap
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0
User avatar #82 to #60 - scowler (12/18/2015) [-]
Then he can trade it off for something better.
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+1
User avatar #11 - ilovemyguns (12/17/2015) [-]
Why not just close the laptop? Or hold the power button? Or buy a lock for your door?
Reply
0
#97 - rollingpicture (12/18/2015) [-]
**rollingpicture used "*roll picture*"**
**rollingpicture rolled image**

***** mad old
Reply
0
#94 - horrorific (12/18/2015) [-]
**horrorific used "*roll picture*"**
**horrorific rolled image** Been in a similar situation when I was little, do you wanna hear a story fj? I'll tell it anyways.

Was like 8 or 9 and discovering internet porn my big anime titties fetish started young and was browsing one day with headphones when all of a sudden front door opens and I know my dad is going to be in the computer room in like 10 seconds or less and I got like 40 ******* tabs and 5 windows open.
>Panic mode activate
>Reason and logic out the window
>Turn off monitor and spam ALT+F4
>Dad walks in to me just sitting in front of the computer, with a blank monitor, and I have to stall while I make sure everything is ******* closed
>Make awkward conversation while he goes to turn on the radio
>This conversation last for what feels like 10-15 minutes
>No way in hell he doesn't suspect something
>Kicks me out
>To this day no clue if I fully closed everything


On a side note if you're ever in that situation. Hold power button for a forced shut down, this takes about 5 seconds and is probably the only way to unfreeze a pc/laptop.
Reply
0
User avatar #40 - sphincterface (12/17/2015) [-]
Dude....take out the battery. The thing shuts down instantly.
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0
User avatar #44 to #40 - SirMartin (12/17/2015) [-]
or... or close it
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0
User avatar #37 - kotoni (12/17/2015) [-]
Or you know just press the mute button that most laptops has.
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0
User avatar #55 to #37 - machiavellianhumor (12/18/2015) [-]
it froze
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0
#36 - sixty (12/17/2015) [-]
Just hold down the damn Power button

After about 4 seconds, it'll turn the **** off and restart

Reply
0
User avatar #83 to #36 - scowler (12/18/2015) [-]
People panic. You play stupid games, you win stupid prizes.
12>
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