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What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#13 - mankey (05/03/2014) [-]
>Become super genius
>Cure all disease and discover the secret of immortality
>50% of infinity is still infinity
>Use genius to play the stock market to get money.
>Use gene manipulation to make everyone super attractive and without flaw.
>Invent a machine that allows telepathic communication with animals.
> Use gene manipulation to change body parts.
>Use money from stock market to buy a satchel of weed every month.
>Use weed to see parts of the future.
>???
>Profit.
#391 to #13 - clannadqs (05/03/2014) [-]
>MFW immediately after becoming a super genius and thinking about putting what you said into action.
#396 to #391 - mankey (05/03/2014) [-]
It won't make me happy you know. Brain the size of a planet, and they ask me to take you to the bridge. Call that job satisfaction, 'cause I don't.
User avatar #368 to #13 - niggastolemyname ONLINE (05/03/2014) [-]
I did this with one of these types of posts before, feelsgoodman
User avatar #358 to #13 - sirbonzaiatak (05/03/2014) [-]
or use money to advance technology to travel in hyper speed, in turn, traveling through time
#363 to #358 - mankey (05/03/2014) [-]
Yeah, because time travel always works out sooooo well.

I think I'll stick with this timeline. We don't have hover cars, but we do have toilet paper. Good times.
User avatar #366 to #363 - sirbonzaiatak (05/03/2014) [-]
yeah, let us base our current experiences of time travel on family guy or other shows with the sole purpose of entertainment.
#372 to #366 - mankey (05/03/2014) [-]
Name *one* show where time travel went well! Not even Back to the Future counts because he was a gnats nutsack away from not existing and ******* his own mum!

If tv has taught us anything it's stay the **** away from the timeline!

Also where else are we supposed to explore the idea of time travel? Your special binder with the unicorn on the front doesn't have the best groundings in believable plot or executable plans!
User avatar #376 to #372 - sirbonzaiatak (05/03/2014) [-]
i was using sarcasm, because not everything in life will be accurately represented by sitcoms and movies.
#381 to #376 - mankey (05/03/2014) [-]
Maybe not, but EVERY show that has included time travel has had it end badly. I mean Star Trek accurately represents a lot of what cutting edge technology is doing *now* with transporters, anti-matter etc. And THAT says stay the **** out of the timeline. The even need timeline police because starfleet ***** with it so much.

THIS! THIS is what you get when you go sticking your dick in the timeline! JJ Abrams and lens flares up the arse!

Or Nazis with photon torpedoes in Enterprise! Or Earth being assimilated in First Contact! Or half of Voyagers entire show!

I repeat DON'T **** WITH THE TIMELINE! it doesn't take a super genius to figure that one out!

aaaaaand breath.....goosfraba......goosfraba.....goosfraba
#278 to #13 - satansferret ONLINE (05/03/2014) [-]
But what if you're 20 and were only going to live to 39?
User avatar #290 to #278 - mankey (05/03/2014) [-]
9 years 6 months to come up with immortality. Easy for a super genius like me. Also technically, if I was going to invent immortality after becoming a super genius, then I would never have been going to die at 39. I would have been living forever going to have done.

....it’s very hard to talk quantum using a language originally designed to tell other monkeys where the ripe fruit is. Yay for anyone who knows that quote I'd need to invent a new language to explain it all too it seems.
#303 to #290 - satansferret ONLINE (05/03/2014) [-]
Thing is, if your lifespan is already 50% over you're dead as soon as you choose it. It never stated that you only have 50% of your remaining life left. Which is why I said 20-39. You've already lived over 50% of your life by that point.
User avatar #310 to #303 - mankey (05/03/2014) [-]
Ah, but as I said, if you were going to invent immortality with your super genius then your lifespan was always going to be infinite. It never said "You become a super genius, but your lifespan [excluding any and all magical interferences of the tiki idol or subsequent life extension results thereof] decreases by 50%". Just wouldn't hold up in court with a loophole so big you could drive a truck through it.
#317 to #310 - satansferret ONLINE (05/03/2014) [-]
But it would be outside the realm of possibility I already feel dumb saying that in this discussion.) for your lifespan to change suddenly. The deals effect would make it's rules/stipulations at the time of agreement/choice. Any action that would have been performed past your original 50% lifespan would be null and void.
#334 to #317 - mankey (05/03/2014) [-]
However the 50% of my lifespan would be infinity just because the tiki idol itself exists. And again it didn't stipulate that the lifespan it would be halving would be the one I would theoretically have if the tiki idol didn't exist.    
   
For it to even predict that possibility it would have to know the exact location of all the particles in the universe at any given time. *Then* it would have to predict how those particles would interact with each other had it not existed and interfered with the universe, which it does merely by existing, not just by using it's powers. In those circumstances it could be that I would not even exist because of it not existing.    
   
But even if I did, and it had calculated all this, it would still have to prove that my life would end when it says it would *and* prove that this is the lifespan to which it was referring in it's original contract. If it's not clear and explicit that this was the lifespan to which it was referring, then at best it would render the contract null and void. Which means that it just takes away my super genius powers and I would live to the none specific age it was trying to infer.....which as a result of the legal battle, I would know and could avoid, plus during the time of the conflict I would have used my still intact knowledge to publish papers on how to unlock immortality. So I would still live forever.   
   
Game, set, match, checkmate, goal, touchdown, ME!
However the 50% of my lifespan would be infinity just because the tiki idol itself exists. And again it didn't stipulate that the lifespan it would be halving would be the one I would theoretically have if the tiki idol didn't exist.

For it to even predict that possibility it would have to know the exact location of all the particles in the universe at any given time. *Then* it would have to predict how those particles would interact with each other had it not existed and interfered with the universe, which it does merely by existing, not just by using it's powers. In those circumstances it could be that I would not even exist because of it not existing.

But even if I did, and it had calculated all this, it would still have to prove that my life would end when it says it would *and* prove that this is the lifespan to which it was referring in it's original contract. If it's not clear and explicit that this was the lifespan to which it was referring, then at best it would render the contract null and void. Which means that it just takes away my super genius powers and I would live to the none specific age it was trying to infer.....which as a result of the legal battle, I would know and could avoid, plus during the time of the conflict I would have used my still intact knowledge to publish papers on how to unlock immortality. So I would still live forever.

Game, set, match, checkmate, goal, touchdown, ME!
#338 to #334 - satansferret ONLINE (05/03/2014) [-]
This is basing the argument the tiki would NOT know when you would originally die. If it is able to give anyone any of these situations, it must be an omnipotent and all power being of some sort (or damn close). In cases where these situations arise, it is usually a trickster type of god in a drama preying on greed or lust for greatness for it's own amusement. We're watching you now.
User avatar #350 to #338 - mankey (05/03/2014) [-]
If it's omnipotent then it would know how I would argue the case against it and would have included the stipulation clause to stop me from getting out of it.

This Tiki Idol is a minor god at best with little to no universe altering powers which is why it can only alter the perceptions of one person.

ie "change your perception of others"
"change your thoughts on investments"
"cures you of whatever disease was going to kill you early"
"Makes you more intelligent"
"Makes you able to perceive animal language"
"Alters on body part on you"
"Allows only you to perceive *parts* of the future"
"Make a drug dealer want to drop off a satchel of weed at your house once a month."

All these change the perceptions of *one* person in the entire universe other than some minor biological changes to *one* person. None of these are super universe altering overlord of time and space powers. He most likely got thrown out of whatever pantheon he was in for wetting the bed and crying when mortals said mean things about him.
#241 to #13 - halloweenwillcome (05/03/2014) [-]
**halloweenwillcome rolled image**Nope, the tiki tuki totem will not make you geniouse unless you life decreases 50 purcent, other wise. IT JUST DONT WORK THAT WAY
User avatar #260 to #241 - mankey (05/03/2014) [-]
It can, half of immortality is still immortality.
User avatar #263 to #260 - halloweenwillcome (05/03/2014) [-]
*roll picture"Become supergenius" okay, you become supergenius
"lifespan decreases 50%" okay, but If it doesn't. Then...
The tiky thingy won't give you the 50% in first place right?
I have nothing against you, just think the tiky thingy isn't dumb or It wouldn't comply its purposse unless it made sure u will have half life.
#275 to #263 - mankey (05/03/2014) [-]
The tiki thingy might not be dumb, but I don't need to be a super genius yet to outsmart it. It's not my fault if it didn't correctly word it's wish granting ability and I was able to exploit a loophole. Genies do it all the time to people, like in Aladdin 2 when Abis Mal asked for "The Legendary Sunken Treasure Ship of Gordumare" or the monkeys paw in the Simpsons.
User avatar #264 to #263 - halloweenwillcome (05/03/2014) [-]
what did I just . . . . .
User avatar #210 to #13 - averagesizedpenis (05/03/2014) [-]
...You're going places kid.
#125 to #13 - fuperbooper ONLINE (05/03/2014) [-]
>Get ability to change body part
>Change brain
>Become super genius
>No 50% lifespan reduction
#27 to #13 - Womens Study Major (05/03/2014) [-]
">Use weed to see parts of the future."
#20 to #13 - logarhamihon (05/03/2014) [-]
>look into the future
>discover the cure for all diseases and the key to immortality from your work
>create and patent it before you discover it
>Use future seeing ability to win lotteries and gain from the stock market
>???
>profit
#72 to #20 - createdjustnow (05/03/2014) [-]
>talk to any animal
>ask some of the immortal animals how they do it
>pretend to be super genius by using animals to steal information for me
>have animals fake accidents to help me get in good with the woman
>Use animals to rob banks and start a giant pickpocket ring using animals
>use animals to find true geniuses and have them murder them and steal the ideas
>crimes cannot be pined on me
>murdered people dead by animal attack
>use keen senses to learn secrets and crack vaults.
#393 to #72 - adamks (05/03/2014) [-]
"How do you immortal?"

"Most likely"
#93 to #72 - mankey (05/03/2014) [-]
Just because you can talk to animals doesn't mean they'll listen to you.
Just because you can talk to animals doesn't mean they'll listen to you.
#181 to #93 - funnyrage ONLINE (05/03/2014) [-]
trust me, if you have a dog and you can talk to him, hell listen.
#245 to #181 - halloweenwillcome (05/03/2014) [-]
**halloweenwillcome rolled image** Hell is the name of ur dog?
**halloweenwillcome rolled image** Hell is the name of ur dog?
#185 to #181 - mankey (05/03/2014) [-]
Dogs maybe, they do what you tell them to without having Dr Dolittle powers, but do you think a cat would ever do what you tell it to? Cats are assholes.
Dogs maybe, they do what you tell them to without having Dr Dolittle powers, but do you think a cat would ever do what you tell it to? Cats are assholes.
User avatar #206 to #185 - funnyrage ONLINE (05/03/2014) [-]
im pretty sure they would, humans are assholes too. get along well enough with someone and they will help you.
#229 to #206 - mankey (05/03/2014) [-]
Nope, cats are 100% asshole, 100% of the time. My cats love me when I'm feeding them but will still scratch, bite and trip me up on the stairs.
Nope, cats are 100% asshole, 100% of the time. My cats love me when I'm feeding them but will still scratch, bite and trip me up on the stairs.
User avatar #233 to #229 - funnyrage ONLINE (05/03/2014) [-]
i have a cat that comes and sits in my lap when i am in the computer, he also comes if i call her. she has not once scratched me..she has scratched my lil bro but he kicked her and now she stays away from him. my last cat slept next to me when i went to sleep. (always gone by the morning because cats like to go outside at night.) yeah, 100% assholes 100% of the time.
#235 to #233 - mankey (05/03/2014) [-]
She's got you brainwashed. Poor deluded human.
#237 to #235 - funnyrage ONLINE (05/03/2014) [-]
my cat does number 1 !!!!!!!11!!!!one!
my cats face right now.
#17 to #13 - salutejr (05/03/2014) [-]
DUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE
DUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE
#15 to #13 - leobreacker (05/03/2014) [-]
This guy.
This guy.
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