Parenthood. I don't really like salmon.. I conceived my firstborn en a shooting range bench. Telling him 12 years later was both the most hilarious and horrible
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Parenthood

I don't really like salmon.

I conceived my firstborn en a shooting range bench. Telling him 12 years later was both the most hilarious and horrible thing he ever done to a human being.
2: be at range with sen performing manly male bonding duties
2: rememberable sen left metric ******** of porn site addresses en computerate night before
2: decide that he is of age to have "The Talk"
2: explain that sex is not only natural, but awesome and he should have it as wen as biology, charisma and logistics allows
2: explain that it' s not all fun and games
2: explain fun things like herpes, HIV and syphilis
2: finish up with unplanned pregancy. --
2: "Look, condoms aren' t great, but they protect you hem deadly, cockfighting diseases. Not to mention unplanned fatherhood."
2: ''I' m deadly serious, buddy. Because all it takes is ens time. Like, say, a single ramp en a shooting range b
table during a surprise thunderstorm and boom, yeu' re a father."
2: two seconds passer-
2: "Oh, yes. The range trip got rained out, nobody was around, why not en the table? Sounded like a good idea at the time. his condoms? F' fatt-. what are the this ens time?"
2: with a grin of pure sadistic glee
2: "This table."
2: stunned, disbelieving silence,
2: point at spot two feet in frend of his face
2: runs away in horror,
2: TANT YOU SEE, SDN!?!? ) U' RETURNED TC) THAT FROM WHENCE YOU WERE . YOU' RE LIKE THE MAJESTIC SALAC) Nll. l. l. l. l. l."
Fatherhood is " ******* awesome sometimes.
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Views: 8174
Favorited: 23
Submitted: 04/09/2014
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#2 - atrocitustheking ONLINE (04/09/2014) [-]
> you're like the majestic salmon!
#1 - scarypeep (04/09/2014) [-]
Kid needs to learn how hide his ************* porn.
User avatar #5 - sinonyx (04/10/2014) [-]
it's late.. don't want to wake anyone up

i just sounded like a broken squeak toy trying to contain my laughter
#6 - biscuitsunited (04/10/2014) [-]
>Majestic samon
>Majestic samon
User avatar #4 - lorddarkskull (04/10/2014) [-]
/k/ -a magical place
User avatar #3 - fisheh ONLINE (04/09/2014) [-]
my sides went poof
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