A young tavern wench is serving drinks, when in walks a pirate captain in all his finery. He wore the typical tri-corn hat, and had a cutlass at his hip. He not only had an eye-patch, but a wooden leg, and a silver hook on his left arm. The captain was friendly, and she found herself visiting his table frequently. Eventually, she asked about his adventures, specifically his wooden leg.
"You see, lass, before I was Cap'n, I started off as cabin-boy on Blackbeard's own ship. I was with him for many years, 'til one day, we got a little drunk and I challenged him to a duel. We fought for a day 'n a night, until finally I landed a solid sweep across his chest. Not a mortal wound, but it shorn his beard in two, you see, and the old Cap' was mighty proud of that beard. In his anger, he cut me across the leg, cleavin' me foot off in one swing.”
“And what about your hand?” she asked, enthralled.
"My hand, eh?" The old pirate laughed and took another swig of rum. "I was always gettin' into trouble after I left Blackbeard's crew. Fightin' and brawlin' an stealin' as I pleased... One time I had to walk the plank off ole' Calico Jack's ship, 'n had to swim for three days just to reach shore. Well there was a shark follerin' me after the first day. He attacked a few times, but I held him at bay with my cutlass 'til he bit it in two. Then I punched him some, every time he tried to take me, 'til he bit me hand off. Finally I kicked him, shoved my wooden leg in his eye fer the killin' blow. I made it to shore and found some doctors to fix me up with tha' hook.”
The old pirate took another swig and grinned as the young lass scurried off. Eventually, her curiosity brought her 'round a third time, and she inquired about his eye. The old pirate seemed hesitant at first, but at her insistence he shared the story with her.
"Well, ya' see, lass... It was me first day on what would one day be my own ship... I was learning everyone's names and such, new ship 'n all. Anyways, there I stand in the blisterin' sun, when I hear this strange sound up above. I look up and see the most beautiful parrot you ever laid eyes on, I swear. I was transfixed by it, watchin' as he flew, until the ruddy bird let loose a nasty shat, an' it landed right in me eye!"
"He... shat... in your eye?" The young wench was incredulous, surprised that such a tough old sea-dog would lose his eye for something so simple.
"Well, it was me first day with the hook, ya' see..."