Oh you parents caught you fapping?

A fairly short story but some of you might find it funny.

>3 years ago
>I was 18
>Me and girlfriend in my room
>Dad and step mum are at pub
>They'd been there for about 30 minutes
>Girlfriend and start to get it on
>We've barely been going 5 minutes and my dad comes through the door with kebab in hand
>Alistair have ya seen my-
>Stops looks at me then gets this huge ******* grin turns to her and said
>Dad: OH you alright love
>Girlfriend: y-yes
>Me: Dad can you go away please
>Dad: Aye he told me he was seeing a lass, thought he was gay to be honest
>I've brought girls home before he just trying to embarrass me
>He doesn't need to try very hard
>Me: Dad don't
>Dad: Have you eaten? You want some of me kebab?
>Girlfriend: N-no I'm a vegetarian
>Me: Don't encourage him
>Dad: So you don't eat meat?
>Girlfriend: No
>Dad: ...Not even man meat?
>Me: Dad **** off
>He starts roaring with Laughter which attracts my step mum
>Step mum: What are laughing at?
>She looks at me and my girlfriend and gets a surprised look on her face
>Step mum: Oooh did you get it in aye?
>Me: Yes, now **** off
>She starts laughing too and takes my dad out
>I could hear that Dickhead giggling as he walked down the hallway and out the front door

I saw that girl for a few months after that, we broke up over something unrelated but I refused to bring any girls home after that.