Oh yes.. .. Most Christians probably haven't read it either. The Bible is to Christians as the Terms and Conditions are to everyone. Most people just skip to the end and sa
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[ 151 comments ]
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User avatar #2 - martycamp (02/12/2014) [-]
Most Christians probably haven't read it either.

The Bible is to Christians as the Terms and Conditions are to everyone. Most people just skip to the end and say, "I accept"
#19 to #2 - rabidaardvark (02/13/2014) [-]
I have won so many arguments with christian idiots (distinct and seperate from regular christians) simply by justifying my argument with a random name and two numbers; 'its in the bible; James 13:29'. They either accept it or go away to look it up, by which time the arguments been over for so long nobody really cares anymore.
#72 to #2 - John Cena (02/13/2014) [-]
That's not at all true
#46 to #2 - John Cena (02/13/2014) [-]
Of course, of course.
Spill out everything Richard Dawkins and other athiest heroes have taught you.
User avatar #135 to #2 - waaw (02/13/2014) [-]
On the other hand, I'm sure many atheists haven't read the scientific papers supporting theories like the Big Bang and evolution. I'm not saying that those theories are wrong, but you can't read everything. At some point, you do have to take things on faith. Creationists choose to accept that their text is true, and people who believe in the Big Bang choose to accept that the scientists who wrote those papers knew what they were doing.
#138 to #135 - xxmemosxx (02/13/2014) [-]
Atheism has nothing to do with those theories though, many will use them verify their "beliefs" but it isn't a necessity to be an atheist. Atheism is a rejection of religion.
User avatar #140 to #138 - waaw (02/13/2014) [-]
You're right. I was using atheism as a sort of shorthand for people who believe in scientific theories while disbelieving in the supernatural. That's not totally correct, but I think the general point is still understood.
#83 to #2 - Haane (02/13/2014) [-]
I used to go to Christian private school, and we were required to study the Bible. I doubted my beliefs, and started studying a ton....I've read it about 13 times since my freshman year. There's some crazy **** in there son.
User avatar #110 to #2 - christmouth (02/13/2014) [-]
This is one of the problems I've had with Christianity. I mean, I was born in a more or less religious village, and went to Sunday school and other religious gatherings, so we're more or less born Christians(I'm acnostic-atheist of some kind, but I was Christian when I was younger), and being an atheist is unheard off.
A girl moved in to town, and a rumour started to flood that she was an atheist, so some of the kids of the "higher ups" in the Christian community, started to ask her question regarding the bible, like if she wasn't afraid of going to hell etc.

The funny part of this was, was that she had read infinitely more about the bible, and she knew what it was that she believed, or what it was that she didn't believe in, which was more than these kids had been spoonfed their entire lives through someone reading up some passages from the bible for them.
The problem I mentioned at top is, how can you call yourself a Christian if you haven't read the bible, the books that documents the man you hold your faith in? Is it okey to just to believe in what other tell you about Jesus Christ? Aren't you then more faithful to that person, than you are to Jesus?

I know this might offend someone, but it wasn't my intention.
#3 to #2 - olizandri (02/13/2014) [-]
i have never read a simile so perfect.
#13 to #2 - LloydIrving (02/13/2014) [-]
To be fair, most read some of it, get spoon-fed the rest, and pick-and-choose what they want to believe. Terms and conditions you really just scroll to the bottom and accept.   
   
I'm a Christian and tried reading all the way through, and now I know why many churches give a prize for finishing the whole thing within a year. Still, your simile is true enough to be saddening.   
   
Gif is my reaction to other Christians not even trying to read the book they're basing they're life off of and supposedly using for reference.
To be fair, most read some of it, get spoon-fed the rest, and pick-and-choose what they want to believe. Terms and conditions you really just scroll to the bottom and accept.

I'm a Christian and tried reading all the way through, and now I know why many churches give a prize for finishing the whole thing within a year. Still, your simile is true enough to be saddening.

Gif is my reaction to other Christians not even trying to read the book they're basing they're life off of and supposedly using for reference.
#50 to #13 - mayoroftownsville (02/13/2014) [-]
THE SOUND! IT'S IN MY HEAD!
#141 to #13 - aerosol (02/13/2014) [-]
I went to a catholic school. It's funny, I actually used to sit in the hall and read some of it just out of interest(and to study for theology) and teachers would walk and be like "Are you just reading the Bible?" Dis a Catholic school 			*****		! What else would I do?
I went to a catholic school. It's funny, I actually used to sit in the hall and read some of it just out of interest(and to study for theology) and teachers would walk and be like "Are you just reading the Bible?" Dis a Catholic school ***** ! What else would I do?
#98 to #13 - lvlonemeepo (02/13/2014) [-]
I agree with you but I've read alot of the Bible and I take all the scriptures and put them into logic. I believe in a creator but I also believe in the building blocks of life, evolution and a bit of the big bang theory. I won't make fun of anyone's religion like atheists nor will I ridicule another for believing in something I don't It makes life more enjoyable and whimsical when you believe in angels and demons and things! FOR SCIENCE-ish!
#119 to #98 - rdobet (02/13/2014) [-]
fun fact, this is a throne (Type of angel) according to the bible.
#121 to #119 - lvlonemeepo (02/13/2014) [-]
Looks cool! I never read about them, time to open the book HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHng
#122 to #121 - rdobet (02/13/2014) [-]
wut
#127 to #122 - lvlonemeepo (02/13/2014) [-]
Thats the sound of opening up a Bible dude. Of course I haven't found it yet so it was a bit premature.
Thats the sound of opening up a Bible dude. Of course I haven't found it yet so it was a bit premature.
User avatar #78 - ohlookathing (02/13/2014) [-]
I am a Christian. I have absolutely nothing against Atheists unless they try to shove their beliefs in my face. I think the same can be said in reverse (Christians mocking Atheists for not believing in God). I am not offended by those who don't believe, just people who have no respect for the beliefs of others, regardless of what those beliefs may be.
User avatar #115 to #78 - TexMex (02/13/2014) [-]
*non-beliefs. Atheist try to force you to not believe. Atheism isn't a belief.
User avatar #131 to #115 - ohlookathing (02/13/2014) [-]
It is a belief that there is absolutely no God, no? Agnosticism would be lack of belief if I'm not mistaken.
User avatar #145 to #131 - TexMex (02/13/2014) [-]
I talked about this with someone else yesterday, and in that case everything is a belief. You believe that your name is what it is. You believe this site is called Funnyjunk. I'm an atheist because there is no proof. Just like I'm a non-believer in trolls until someone shows proof.
User avatar #147 to #78 - majormayor (02/13/2014) [-]
These comments are full of people ******** on Christianity, though.
User avatar #149 to #147 - ohlookathing (02/13/2014) [-]
Yup, and I hate that. We really don't have the right to **** on anyone else's beliefs, so long as those beliefs don't harm others.
User avatar #151 to #149 - majormayor (02/13/2014) [-]
I'd rather just mock these people anyway. They're pitifully easy to troll.
#105 to #78 - dannyrandkai (02/13/2014) [-]
You might be the only christian I have or will ever have respect for.

Grats, here's a thumb.
User avatar #111 to #105 - ohlookathing (02/13/2014) [-]
Thank you =] Sending a thumb your way as well =]
#82 to #78 - John Cena (02/13/2014) [-]
Same here buddy, except as an atheist *tips fedora* I feel the same way, in fact in some cases I'm glad religion is here to give small amounts of hope to people who have none

I get the feeling most of us don't really give a **** (Athiest or Christian), and it's the loud ones that set the conversations off
User avatar #85 to #82 - ohlookathing (02/13/2014) [-]
I completely agree with this. Very well said.
#38 - WolfPrince (02/13/2014) [-]
I love how peoples "go to insult" for people who bash religion are fedora wearing neck beards.
Not very creative, I thought religious people were good at making stuff up.
Nothing against your beliefs, just the idiots on this website.
User avatar #148 to #38 - majormayor (02/13/2014) [-]
"idiots on this website"
So you're now letting all these dumb antitheists glad that they can circlejerk over religion again a pass?
#68 to #38 - officialjg (02/13/2014) [-]
From the bottom of my heart that's apparently destined to rot in the fiery pits of hell.
From the bottom of my heart that's apparently destined to rot in the fiery pits of hell.
User avatar #52 - rdangerdash ONLINE (02/13/2014) [-]
The bible is a pretty good read. My favourite part is the entire chapter about what to do if your ox dies.
User avatar #53 to #52 - ninjaroo (02/13/2014) [-]
Verses please?
User avatar #92 to #53 - sadaros (02/13/2014) [-]
Sounds like something from the latter old testament, i could go looking for it... but I'm a lazy asshole, so I'm not gonna bother.
User avatar #125 to #92 - sanguinesolitude (02/13/2014) [-]
I think he meant
exodus 21:28-36
User avatar #56 to #53 - rdangerdash ONLINE (02/13/2014) [-]
Haven't got a clue sorry.
User avatar #17 - nyangiraffe (02/13/2014) [-]
From God's Perspective. (FULL SHOW on YouTube/Netflix) related because of religion.
User avatar #124 to #17 - TexMex (02/13/2014) [-]
Such a goddamn awesome song.
User avatar #67 to #17 - rinaz (02/13/2014) [-]
That song, even though it's sort of half comedic, half serious, gave me food for thought. Especially the line "have you ever thought God doesn't believe in you?"
User avatar #87 to #67 - jellyraptorz (02/13/2014) [-]
I like it when he says if you want love then the love has got to come from you.
#113 - schneidend (02/13/2014) [-]
The fedora meme has become so bloated and out of control. It's everybody's go-to insult-argument for everybody that disagrees with them now.
The fedora meme has become so bloated and out of control. It's everybody's go-to insult-argument for everybody that disagrees with them now.
User avatar #120 to #113 - TexMex (02/13/2014) [-]
It's pure cancer basically.
#132 to #120 - captainpatters (02/13/2014) [-]
Glad to see I'm not the only person.

I think the neck-beard label should be reserved for those who claim superiority over those who have faith, not anyone who DARE be non religious or have the AUDACITY to make a joke about it.
User avatar #150 to #113 - majormayor (02/13/2014) [-]
If this sort of content keeps up, we might need it again.
User avatar #152 to #150 - schneidend (02/14/2014) [-]
There's nothing wrong with this content.
User avatar #153 to #152 - majormayor (02/14/2014) [-]
You haven't seen **** yet, then.
User avatar #154 to #153 - schneidend (02/15/2014) [-]
I'm not really sure what you're even talking about.
User avatar #155 to #154 - majormayor (02/15/2014) [-]
This is only the beginning, if it is.
User avatar #45 - oceanfrank (02/13/2014) [-]
Yo how do people call the bible boring? Dude like 50 old ***** do crazy **** in the bible and you ****** call it boring? May I remind you the biblical stories and Greco-Roman culture revived peoples interest in other people and not just God thus bringing in more ideas to better humanity and religion and eventually peoples courage to believe otherwise? I'd rather read how a dude headshot a juggernaut with a ******* rock and a sling or a dude parting the red sea entirely to get an entire race through it than some little wizard boy trying to kill a dude with no nose and alienating/hating but ultimately befriending the dude who wanted to be his father.
#123 - fyaq (02/13/2014) [-]
FJ reaction to "CHRISTIANS ARE LE ST00PID" "LE BIBLE IS LE ST0OPID"
FJ reaction to "CHRISTIANS ARE LE ST00PID" "LE BIBLE IS LE ST0OPID"

#126 to #123 - TexMex (02/13/2014) [-]
FJ reaction to "ATEIST LE FEDORA MAYMAY" "NECKBERD LOSER EUPHORIA"
FJ reaction to "ATEIST LE FEDORA MAYMAY" "NECKBERD LOSER EUPHORIA"
User avatar #10 - chuckbillrow (02/13/2014) [-]
I tried to read genesis once i got a bit put off by the fact that it sounded like a 4 year old wrote it "and god thought this was good" is said entirely to many times in entirely to few sentences
#108 to #10 - John Cena (02/13/2014) [-]
And God called the dry land Earth; and the gathering together of the waters called he Seas: and God saw that it was good. Are you talking about this? Always use the King James version.

Here is why. Even alot of Christians do not know why. So, the KJV version was translated by the smartest people in that day and age. Especially in that day. Where people were very smart using langauge. Taken from wikipedia which is slightly unreliable, "The translation was done by 47 scholars, all of whom were members of the Church of England.[10] In common with most other translations of the period, the New Testament was translated from Greek, the Old Testament was translated from Hebrew text, while the Apocrypha were translated from the Greek and Latin." Pretty much 47 people translated it and they were all highly respected scholars.
User avatar #48 to #10 - durkadurka ONLINE (02/13/2014) [-]
Well the thing is thousands of years old and translated through multiple languages.
User avatar #18 to #10 - hellomynameisbill (02/13/2014) [-]
well, that would sound hella smart when you're in 1st century jerusalem when being literate was a specialty skill
#94 - John Cena (02/13/2014) [-]
Im from Estonia which is probably the least religious country in the world.
Christian feget knights tried to convert us from pagans to Christianity.

MFW they failed.
0
#101 to #94 - dannyrandkai has deleted their comment [-]
#88 - vikdane (02/13/2014) [-]
As a Christian born and raised in a very seculare country (Denmark), having a father, cousin and a very good friend who all studied/studies theology, I can assure all of you who thinks that all Christians for their own emotional benefit enjoys "to take something in the bible literally which sound good, and label the rest for metaphors" is absolutly not true.

You need to learn (if you fully want to understand the texts) ancient hebrew, german, koine greek, latin and sometimes coptic to really get the meanings out of the text. Furthermore, you need to add Jewish and Greek philosophy into it as well and combine it with known history. Slowly, the meaning of the text opens up, and sometimes you "prove" the point made to be litteral, other times you don't.

Nothing is failproof though. I just simply try to tell that to read a complex book is a science, it's not easy. I would also like to add that I believe rationalism today is being worshipped like a god, even if many of the thoughts I encounter in the atheistic communities I sometime roam, already was outdebated in the late 1800 throughout first half of 1900.. Leftovers from the enlightment period. It is just as annoying listening to these chaps as it is listening to "passionate hallelujah, I accept it all without questions" - believers.

Anyway, just my thoughts. Have a great day and God bless.
User avatar #95 to #88 - articulate ONLINE (02/13/2014) [-]
Something's rotten in the state of Denmark.
#96 to #95 - vikdane (02/13/2014) [-]
My appology, Marcellus, the gas could not be quite kept in because of the bacon we Danes do love to consume.
User avatar #143 to #88 - goldenglimmer (02/13/2014) [-]
Jeg trodde ikke det fantes noen andre i Skandinavia som også kjente igjen dette fenomenet. Utdaterte og banale argumenter preger de ateistiske samfunnene (i hvert fall i min erfaring), og det er tydelig at de aller fleste følger bare trenden, og føler seg overlegne når de avfeier religion som primitivt. De tror at sekularisme = intelligens, men de tar jo så feil. Filosofi og vitenskap belyser universet på to forskjellige måter, begge viktige, men det ser dessverre ut til at pseudo-logikk og nihilisme har erstattet kunnskap og jakten på sannhet.

Deilig å se at det finnes andre som også skjønner dette... hilsner fra Norge.
#146 to #143 - vikdane (02/13/2014) [-]
Du har ramt sømmet, du har helt ret. Banale argumenter som er blevet sagt før men glemt. Et udtryk for visse menneskers behov for identitet og bekræftelse. Filosofi bliver ofte neglegeret, men det er mere et udtryk for ignorance end viden.

Jeg er selv glad for at høre fra en skandinavier. Tak for din kommentar, var dejlig at læse.
User avatar #12 - infinitereaper (02/13/2014) [-]
I tried reading the bible
I got to tell you
I've had more fun counting to 1000
User avatar #43 to #12 - tyrson ONLINE (02/13/2014) [-]
Some books are more interesting than others. Psalms is a snoozefest, Numbers is worse. The Songs of Solomon contain a few bits referencing weird sexual fetishes, while Genesis and Exodus actually have some interesting story lines.
Jacob, in particular, is one of my favorites.
David's Mighty Men are also an interesting highlight, Revelations is too confusing, and you can just skip all the letters Paul wrote.
User avatar #32 to #12 - angelious (02/13/2014) [-]
bible was actually pretty interesting to read while taking a **** .


only thing i have to complain is when they have like ten pages of "AND JONNY LIVED TILL HE WAS 120 AND HE HAD FIVE KIDS CALLED BOBBY DOBBY SOBBY AND COBY,COBY WENT ON TO MARRY MARY AND HAVE 4 KIDS CALLED SOCKIE DOCKI AND COCKIE WHO WENT ON TO HAVE...."


well you get the point...
User avatar #44 to #32 - tyrson ONLINE (02/13/2014) [-]
Numbers and Deuteronomy were bad about that.
Some of the weird rules in Leviticus are handy when making arguments.
"Gay sex is bad? I guess you don't eat pork, shave, or sit where women on their periods have sat?"
#69 - mondominiman (02/13/2014) [-]
It's not an apple? Then what the **** is the apple of Eden then. Has assassins creed been telling us lies this entire time.
User avatar #134 - ipartywithpedobear (02/13/2014) [-]
I was very religious until i read the bible.

i'm quite certain people from tumblr wrote it.
User avatar #130 - tombobbusama (02/13/2014) [-]
I like the part where after the flood, Noah gets drunk and passes out naked, so two of his sons have to go in backwards with a blanket to cover him up and not look at him naked.
When Noah wakes up, he curses the land that his third son will live on because he didnt cover him up.
User avatar #84 - cactusphalus (02/13/2014) [-]
in the Genesis, in the same ******* page it first says that "God created the Man and then created all animals to serve him" and later it says that "God created all the animals and later created the Man to rule over them"... it's the little things
#40 - telamatoes (02/13/2014) [-]
I believe it was a fig.
User avatar #42 to #40 - tyrson ONLINE (02/13/2014) [-]
Bible is nonspecific.
Also, there were no wise men at Jesus' birth, Moses needed two copies of the ten commandments, and the definition of Mana is "what is this"
#26 - John Cena (02/13/2014) [-]
#71 to #26 - mummyslittlebitch (02/13/2014) [-]
Did you really just compare Stephen Fry to neckbeards?
#16 - rocketmanpartybus (02/13/2014) [-]
**rocketmanpartybus rolled a random comment #86 posted by skullball at Hentai... ** :
**rocketmanpartybus rolled a random comment #86 posted by skullball at Hentai... ** :
#20 - rabidaardvark (02/13/2014) [-]
Isnt it hilariously Ironic that more athiests have read the Bible entirely through than christians? You get christians quoting segments that supposedly justify their standpoint without any idea of the context of the quote, while ignoring everything else in it.
User avatar #41 to #20 - tsalmark (02/13/2014) [-]
I think maybe more christians have read the bible through. It's just that you are pretty much guaranteed to become atheist if you do.
#25 to #20 - John Cena (02/13/2014) [-]
#66 to #20 - KINGOFTHESTARS (02/13/2014) [-]
actually, im pretty sure many atheists only try to say they read it because they know alot of people havent read The Bible in its entirety.

its a ****** cop-out
User avatar #47 to #20 - monsieurhonkhonk (02/13/2014) [-]
Except that that's not the case. Every single time I see an Atheist quote the Bible, it's out of context, or they genuinely don't get it. They can be just as bad at misinterpreting it as some Christians are.
#49 to #47 - rabidaardvark (02/13/2014) [-]
Ive never heard an athiest quote the bible, in context or out, to justify hatred though, unlike so many christians who love quoting that one line of Leviticus that goes against gay marriage, chosing to ignore all the other stuff Leviticus bans.
User avatar #51 to #49 - monsieurhonkhonk (02/13/2014) [-]
Huh. Guess it just goes to show you that you can't make sweeping statements like that. If someone picks and chooses what to obey in the Bible, that's their mistake. But you can hardly act superior when you don't comprehend the verses as they're meant to be.
Most times that I've heard an atheist quote the Bible, it's to appear more intelligent than believers, even though they've taken it out of context.
User avatar #55 to #51 - ninjaroo (02/13/2014) [-]
There is a group of atheists who proclaim to have dropped their religious beliefs after reading their holy text and finding it ridiculous. Matt Dillahunty, for example.
#54 to #51 - rabidaardvark (02/13/2014) [-]
thing is though; if an athiest misquotes the Bible its like misquoting Harry Potter or an x-man comic, because to us its fiction. Christians are supposedly basing their lives on what the Bible says, so they cant afford to misquote.

I'm not trying to sound superior, I just think that if you're going to base your life and beliefs on a book you should at least get it right, and I know some christians do but too many dont.
User avatar #58 to #54 - monsieurhonkhonk (02/13/2014) [-]
Proverbs 26: 9.
#91 to #58 - rabidaardvark (02/13/2014) [-]
meaning I guess that if someone doesnt know what a quote means they cant use it? You know that so much of the bible is metaphorical the meaning behind it could be interpretted dozens of ways, meaning anyone could use a quote as long as they were sure of what it meant even if it was different from someone elses translation? Skipping over how you gave me one line of the bible with no context meaning I had to come up with my own interpretation of what you were tring to say with this proverb.
User avatar #34 to #20 - dalokan (02/13/2014) [-]
Atheists are equally guilty of cherry picking.
User avatar #62 to #34 - yarr (02/13/2014) [-]
Well. You don't really care about all the good things a childmolester have done.
#36 to #34 - rabidaardvark (02/13/2014) [-]
Maybe, but the difference is we're not supposed to base our beliefs on what the book we're quoting from says.
#75 to #36 - John Cena (02/13/2014) [-]
No, you base your beliefs on what the research paper or esteemed scientist you're quoting from says.
#142 to #75 - xxmemosxx (02/13/2014) [-]
Atheism isn't an acceptance of science, it's a rejection of religion
User avatar #129 to #34 - skabbalabba (02/13/2014) [-]
It's a bit of a different deal with atheists though.
(i don't have time to explain now cause is have to study for a math test,
but if you want i can explain later)
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