Oh Grimby.... . AT LONG LA‘. ' IMN! IVE DONE IT! HY TIME. MACHINE Tel, ! l% ii ' MOI‘! I. DIE. MORDER. HILL GO BACK IN THE AND KILL WHEN HE. IEA Greer? _ ~, r i
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Oh Grimby...

AT LONG LA‘. ' IMN! IVE DONE IT!
HY TIME. MACHINE Tel, ! l% ii '
MOI‘! I. DIE. MORDER. HILL GO BACK
IN THE AND KILL WHEN HE. IEA
Greer? _ ~, r if Time Travel s,
IL" -in Ma? First " a., Murderer
Matthias Murder, his
assistant as Dr. Archer
Grimm]}' was arrested
shortly after he illegally
I" -iii used time
machine to travel hack as
the year 1839' , murder
an i' . wild named
Adult Politer. He is we]!
cantata '@ history
as the First Tempura]
Criminal, and widely
regarded as we If)" the
mast atrocious human
beings as ever live.
...
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Views: 27947
Favorited: 24
Submitted: 12/19/2013
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#1 - crazyolitis (12/19/2013) [-]
You'd think they'd let a time traveler explain his actions in court...   
   
BUt yeah, I've made similar mistakes.
You'd think they'd let a time traveler explain his actions in court...

BUt yeah, I've made similar mistakes.
#4 to #1 - nebuelaeus (12/20/2013) [-]
Yeah I know right? this man went developed a ******* time machine, came back hundreds of years into the past and killed someone, and they didn't stop to think, "Maybe there is a reason that he traveled through time to kill this child?"
User avatar #19 to #4 - gayboard (12/20/2013) [-]
And thus is why time travel would be universally illegal since you can travel back to any place in time and alter literally anything and everyone would have no idea of what happened.
#86 to #19 - John Cena (12/20/2013) [-]
Unless of course altering the past makes two separate universes which is generally theorized what would happen if backwards time travel was possible.
User avatar #39 to #4 - skaffanl (12/20/2013) [-]
If there was no time machine to proof he was a time traveller how would anyone believe them? If some man kills someone I know and says it's for the best because he would turn out into a very evil man I would call him one crazy son of a bitch.
#57 to #39 - John Cena (12/20/2013) [-]
It's kinda clear that he was arrested when he returned.
#24 - ssurtrebor **User deleted account** (12/20/2013) [-]
If he went back in time to kill Hitler, then he would make it so he'd never have to go back in time to kill Hitler in the first place.   
   
Think about it.
If he went back in time to kill Hitler, then he would make it so he'd never have to go back in time to kill Hitler in the first place.

Think about it.
#25 to #24 - heroicvenom (12/20/2013) [-]
>alternate timelines
User avatar #26 to #25 - ssurtrebor **User deleted account** (12/20/2013) [-]
Assuming those even exist.
#27 to #26 - heroicvenom (12/20/2013) [-]
assuming that time travel is possible.
i hope
User avatar #41 to #27 - tarekmig (12/20/2013) [-]
Assuming that the butterfly effect won't ruin ALL of it.
#47 to #24 - John Cena (12/20/2013) [-]
this is why time travel is imposible... you can only slow it down (by moving faster, time slowes down)
#55 to #47 - John Cena (12/20/2013) [-]
Time is just another dimension. Or rather, it's how we "perceive" that dimension.
User avatar #87 to #24 - dudenectar (12/20/2013) [-]
PARADOOOOOOOOOOOOX
User avatar #36 to #24 - ohgodmysides ONLINE (12/20/2013) [-]
Good thing he killed Adolf HITER and avoided that paradox
User avatar #28 to #24 - ronyx ONLINE (12/20/2013) [-]
That's asuming time is linear.
#3 - mankey (12/20/2013) [-]
User avatar #32 - scorpidea (12/20/2013) [-]
But the child he killed had the last name of HITER in the article???
#35 to #32 - rellergert (12/20/2013) [-]
But he killed Hitler, therefore effectively preventing Hitler's inevitable rise to power and the holocaust. That means nobody know's the name Hitler, so his murdering young Adolf was just that- murdering a child.
#38 to #35 - kanedam ONLINE (12/20/2013) [-]
hiter -> hitler
he meant the typo (look at the article)
User avatar #91 to #38 - rellergert (12/21/2013) [-]
I'm stupid as ****
#93 to #91 - kanedam ONLINE (12/21/2013) [-]
here... have this!
might come in handy (it sure did for me...)
#33 to #32 - Keoul (12/20/2013) [-]
Yeah, he got the wrong one.
Oops.
User avatar #34 - laseneph ONLINE (12/20/2013) [-]
Hitler did nothing wrong.
User avatar #40 - trollmobile ONLINE (12/20/2013) [-]
Morder is "murderer" in norwegian.
#54 to #40 - John Cena (12/20/2013) [-]
Murderer is censored for anons?
What?
#8 - rundas (12/20/2013) [-]
Well, if you went back in time and killed Hitler, you'd be committing genocide infinitely worse than him, as you'd be killing off everyone that was born as a result of WWII.
#42 to #8 - konradkurze (12/20/2013) [-]
if WW2 didnt happen, the world would be russian by now, since without the russians losing millions, they would have had the power to take on other enemies


aka a better world
#88 to #42 - rundas (12/21/2013) [-]
Nah, Russia wouldn't have militarized so greatly in the face of a great threat to the motherland, so likely they would just remain a meager power
User avatar #90 to #88 - konradkurze (12/21/2013) [-]
well even before ww2, russia had compulsory military service, and given lenin and stalin we anti-religion pro-technology, who knows that they could have done
#94 to #90 - rundas (12/21/2013) [-]
Yeah they might have a great military, but even a powerful military can't hold together too many conquered peoples for too long. Consider what happened in Afghanistan
#46 to #8 - John Cena (12/20/2013) [-]
Isn't there something about taking ones place. I think I read it in the Cirque Du Freak books. If Hitler was killed or something wouldn't somebody else just have taken his place in history? It's probably wrong, but it's a cool outlook. Well not for the 6 million people who died during the holocaust, they would still be ******
User avatar #5 - payseht (12/20/2013) [-]
You can change one event in history. What is it?

Making it that somehow Jesus dies on a swastika. See Christians wear them around their necks and on their bibles and on their walls up until Hitler... and then... something I would pay money to see unfold
#9 to #5 - rundas (12/20/2013) [-]
Executed on a cross...how would that work, exactly?
#13 to #9 - payseht (12/20/2013) [-]
also, to answer your question of "how"... maybe something like this?
User avatar #30 to #13 - Crusader (12/20/2013) [-]
I pictured him being crucified on a big X, but with the extra pieces added on
#15 to #13 - rundas (12/20/2013) [-]
sure, why not?
User avatar #10 to #9 - payseht (12/20/2013) [-]
I'm guessing you mean swastika, and I don't know. That's why I said "somehow". It would just be interesting to see if Christians would still wear it seeing how it gained a new and horrible new characteristic. I mean, it's not allowed to be shown in some countries... I guess I'm the only one with this curiosity, judging from the thumbs...
#6 to #5 - John Cena (12/20/2013) [-]
you know that swatikas have other meanings than OMG HITLER, right? Idiot..
User avatar #7 to #6 - payseht (12/20/2013) [-]
sucks that OMG HITLER is the most well known one, I know.
User avatar #11 to #7 - OsamaBinLadenz (12/20/2013) [-]
Who's to say Hitler would use the swastika? Christians probably wouldn't wear it at a 45 degree angle, anyway.
User avatar #12 to #11 - payseht (12/20/2013) [-]
That is, of course, a possibility. There is also the possibility that he does and... why am I the only one intrigued by this idea? What if Hitler used the cross? Would current events affect thousands of years of fundamental tradition?
User avatar #14 to #12 - OsamaBinLadenz (12/20/2013) [-]
It would be interesting. It's just unfortunate that we'll never get to see what it'd be like without another person commiting an internationally known atrocity and using the cross as a world-wide symbol for their cause.
-3
#44 - willindor has deleted their comment [-]
#49 to #44 - DaCrazyOne (12/20/2013) [-]
Get out JIDF.
User avatar #72 to #49 - willindor (12/20/2013) [-]
You might have confused me with someone else, I'm not jizzed in my dad's face.
#73 to #72 - DaCrazyOne (12/20/2013) [-]
Nice try JIDF scum. I can see through your lies.
User avatar #76 to #73 - willindor (12/20/2013) [-]
Know your place, I am the author and you are the audience, therefore I outrank you.
#79 to #76 - DaCrazyOne (12/20/2013) [-]
You couldn't write your way out of a wet paper bag.

My place will be forever above yours.
User avatar #83 - noket (12/20/2013) [-]
i'm not sure if it's a typo or he got the wrong one.. because in both cases he would have killed an innocent kill and bla bla..
#48 - DaCrazyOne (12/20/2013) [-]
But without WWII, technology would not be as advanced now as it would be with an absence of WWII.

Has anyone ever thought of this little tidbit?
User avatar #50 to #48 - imagnetsux (12/20/2013) [-]
you don't know that. we might have formed a working communist democracy greatly focused on the advancement of technology to improve people's lives.
User avatar #51 to #50 - DaCrazyOne (12/20/2013) [-]
>working communist democracy
First thing, the US is too ******* greedy for this to happen. Humans are too greedy for this **** to actually work.
>Greatly focused on the advancement of technology to improve people's lives
And without the minds that were scavenged from the Nazi scientists after the War, how far do you think that would've gone?

War is one of the great ways that technology can advance. Innovation blossoms in desperation.
User avatar #53 to #51 - imagnetsux (12/20/2013) [-]
it's no secret that capitalism in the longer term is one of the greatest limits place on the advancement of the human race. WWII was staged to prevent them from losing power.
User avatar #58 to #53 - DaCrazyOne (12/20/2013) [-]
>WWII was staged to prevent them from losing power
I'm sure you mean the Cold War. Surely that must be true.
Dictatorships don't usually last long, and they were very frowned upon at the time. (If this **** popped up 200-300 years earlier, this wouldn't have been a problem of government)
User avatar #59 to #58 - imagnetsux (12/20/2013) [-]
WWII WWI and the cold war were all put in motion to prevent a revolution led by people who wanted something other than a war.
User avatar #60 to #59 - DaCrazyOne (12/20/2013) [-]
Actually...

World War I happened because Archduke Ferdinand of Austria-Hungary was assassinated and the Prussians didn't like that **** , so they went to go **** **** up with everybody else. Their leader was a very hot-headed individual that probably derived from psychological problems that came with his genetically deformed arm.

WWII happened because Hitler wanted to unite the world under one flag and push us forward. Personally, this is a pretty decent cause, but he went about it all wrong.

The Cold War happened because MUH DEMOCRACY, MUH FREEDUMS, and DEM DAMN REDS. If the people want something different in their government, ******* let them, don't get so ******* butthurt about it.
User avatar #61 to #60 - imagnetsux (12/20/2013) [-]
they had to put 2.2 million people in conscientious objector camps to start WW2, just to clean up the horrible protests. close to a million for WW1. the camps are still standing, used as other things, all over Pennsylvania through Michigan. Wilson won the election for president just before WW1 on the platform that he would keep us out of war. it was a trick. anyone who was around at the time could tell you, but they've all just recently passed on. the socialist worker's was a real threat to the war. they jailed Eugene Binks and called him a traitor, so that he couldn't run for president because he was against WW1 and wanted to stop it from happening. he was the head and founder of the IWW, or International Worker's Party, an internationalist worker's party, he would have ran with the Socialist Party for president, against Wilson. George Bush's grandfather Prescott Bush supplied the very petrol that the Japanese used to bomb Pearl Harbour because he was afraid that there would not be a war. he also supplied the money to get the factories built on the rivers in Germany where people went in and bodies came out by the millions. this was free labour for Hitler's factory chain, and also population control for the newly leftist Europe. would you like me to go on?
User avatar #64 to #61 - DaCrazyOne (12/20/2013) [-]
Well.

This is actually some pretty interesting data, do go on.
User avatar #66 to #64 - imagnetsux (12/20/2013) [-]
what do you plan to do about today's war makers john kerry, hillary clinton, barack obama and the bush family, who are not only related to each other but also to the historical killers who started WW1 and WW2? the coch brothers are the sons of the founders of the john birch society, and they're fascists, and they come from the same secret society - skull & bones - and the clintons and john kerry and obama and every generation of the bush family from prescott foreward. it's clear their side wants war and they took advantage of the wars to get us further into the controlled mentality we've been in since before the civil war. this nation was founded by slave traders. if you look at the list of wars that connect the revolutionary war to the civil war and the list of wars that connect the civil war to WW1 and the list of wars that connect WW1 to WW2, it's an obvious pattern throughout our nation's history and they're gearing up to do it again. the question is, are we going to participate?
User avatar #67 to #66 - DaCrazyOne (12/20/2013) [-]
I am.

War's a good money-maker, and I plan on getting rich in the process.
User avatar #68 to #67 - imagnetsux (12/20/2013) [-]
and that's exactly why we can't have anything else.
#69 to #68 - DaCrazyOne (12/20/2013) [-]
I'm also a highly functioning sociopath, so I might not be the greatest example of the general human populous.

With the way I plan on going out, I'm going to change the way humanity sees warfare.
User avatar #70 to #69 - imagnetsux (12/20/2013) [-]
good nazi.
User avatar #71 to #70 - DaCrazyOne (12/20/2013) [-]
>Nazi
Do explain how I fit into the Nazi category.
User avatar #74 to #71 - imagnetsux (12/20/2013) [-]
on the highest level, they made war because it got them money and advanced their attempt at an empire. you really thought hitler believed he was doing a good thing?
User avatar #75 to #74 - DaCrazyOne (12/20/2013) [-]
>they made war because it got them money
THAT THEY NEEDED TO GET OUT OF THE DEBTS OF WWI.
GERMANY WAS SO IN DEBT THAT THE CHILDREN ON THE STREETS WERE USING STACKS OF 100,000 FRANKS FOR BUILDING BLOCKS, FOR ****** SAKE.

>You really thought Hitler believed he was doing a good thing?
No, he was doing a necessary evil to fix his country.
User avatar #77 to #75 - imagnetsux (12/20/2013) [-]
the Weimar Republic created hyperinflation so that people would need continually earned money to pay rising prices. this pissed off the international bankers, many of whom were jews, and who wanted a stable world economy. the move was part of consolidating their power so they would have all the money where they needed it to start the war. they created the debt crisis the same way the US does now so they could attack the welfare and union systems that support the poor and the sick and labor so they can go and make war in their constantly multiplying enemy countries. they've always got a list of people who are out to get them.
User avatar #78 to #77 - DaCrazyOne (12/20/2013) [-]
>this pissed off international bankers who wanted a stable world economy
To be frank (hue), if I were a banker and suddenly franks weren't worth the toilet paper that I wipe my ass with, I'd be kinda pissed too.
>they created the debt crisis the same way the US does now
Actually, I'm pretty sure it was started by the Versailles Treaty created by the Allied powers because they're dicks like that. Debt usually induces loss in money, if I remember correctly.
>so they could attack the welfare and union systems that support the poor and the sick
Because a stagnating nation helps the world picture. Hue.
>and labor so they can go and make war in their constantly multiplying enemy countries
A country without enemies hasn't done jack **** . Whatever a country does in the world picture is going to piss off SOMEBODY, SOMEWHERE. There's a good reason why that list of people never disappears.

You know what they're called nowadays?

Probable terrorist threats.

Because the big boys are starting to get along a bit better. They may bicker like schoolchildren over a slice of pizza, but they are doing better than they were. Now only the little guys are getting pissed (CITATION NEEDED).
User avatar #80 to #78 - imagnetsux (12/20/2013) [-]
no, the debt crisis was started by fascist. the Versailles treaty divided Europe up so that an expanding German dictatorship couldn't be happy with the result. that didn't necessarily mean war because most people were against it. we view history as an inevitable march to war because people like them tell it that way. welfare systems do not stagnate a nation, poverty stagnates a nation and helps the march to war. a poor society is less able to resist them. people take jobs in the military because they're poor. a country with more allies than enemies has done a heck of a lot more than the child turning everyone they see into the worlds worstest person. we just haven't had the opportunity to see what living in one of those would be like. terrorism isn't committed by our enemies on as large a scale as the US or Israel, just count the civilian casualties. Israel constantly calls Palestinians terrorist but they've killed 400x as many Palestinians. the US government has killed tens of thousands of times as many people in the war on terror in the middle east as all of the enemy countries combined. they are hellbent of proving they can destroy our chances of peace.
#82 to #80 - DaCrazyOne (12/20/2013) [-]
>The debt crisis was started by fascist
Explain.
>The Treaty of Versailles divided Europe up so that an expanding German dictatorship couldn't be happy with the result
Now how exactly did it divide Europe up? If I recall, the only ones that were 'divided' were Austria, Hungary, and little bits of Germany like the Rhineland.
>Welfare systems do not stagnate a nation, poverty does
And people will continue to live off of those welfare systems because they don't see an obligation to get a job because their needs are cared for.
>Poverty stagnates a nation and helps the march to war
See Versailles Treaty's Guilt Debts.
>A country with more allies than enemies has done a heck of a lot more than the child turning everyone they see into the worstest person
I'm not sure you get how alliances work.
They work off of MUTUAL NEEDS AND WANTS, not FRIENDLINESS.
YOU THINK OUR ALLIES ACTUALLY ******* LIKE US?
YOU THINK WE ******* LIKE THEM?
OH **** , YOU ARE WRONG.

>Terrorism isn't committed by our enemies on as large a scale as the US or Israel, just count the civilian casualties
That's because terrorists don't have a uniform, you jackass. See Vietnam War, Guerilla Tactics 101, Operation Iraqi Freedom, etc. etc..
>Israel constantly calls Palestinians terrorist but they've killed 400x as many Palestinians.
That's because Israel don't **** around. They take missile attacks and other such strikes VERY seriously. See picture.
>They are hellbent of proving they can destroy our chances of peace
There was no chance of peace. Ever.
This one is more into the lines of Theology when it comes to their motivation to go to war, instead of financial problems.
See Soviet-Afganistan War, 1980's.
User avatar #85 to #80 - imagnetsux (12/20/2013) [-]
can't reply to your last comment
User avatar #84 to #80 - imagnetsux (12/20/2013) [-]
i already explained. today and then, wherever you see conservatives they spend all the money on war.
the versailles treaty ended WW1. the common thinking goes that it created the conditions for WW2. there was no need for WW1 in the first place. there is no necessity for all of europe to go to to war to determine where lines on the map will go. it didn't determine that any better than other methods, it's a waste. lines on a map drawn by a peace treaty do not make another war necessary.
User avatar #81 to #80 - imagnetsux (12/20/2013) [-]
*fascists
User avatar #62 to #61 - imagnetsux (12/20/2013) [-]
*socialist worker's party
User avatar #63 to #62 - imagnetsux (12/20/2013) [-]
*the socialist workers party did not jail Binks, the U.S govenrment did.
User avatar #65 to #63 - DaCrazyOne (12/20/2013) [-]
Of course, a single US party does not have much power when it does not control the US government.
#52 to #51 - John Cena (12/20/2013) [-]
The US isn't the world.And besides, after a few generations stuff tends to change.
And the nazi scientists would just be scientists.
User avatar #56 to #52 - DaCrazyOne (12/20/2013) [-]
>The US isn't the world
See the bit after that, good anon. The world was accounted for when I addressed us as a species.
>And the nazi scientists would be just scientists
But would those scientists receive the same amount of funding as during Wartime?
Would they be just as pressured by their sponsors to create more innovative weapons as out of wartime?
There are more factors in war than one monkey smashing another's head with a rock, y'know.
User avatar #45 - dapop (12/20/2013) [-]
I would go back in time and make the art university to accept him, thus a artist is born and a dictator dies
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#37 - murika has deleted their comment [-]
#20 - thismustbeseen (12/20/2013) [-]
With a name like "Morder", he probably had issues growing up
User avatar #2 - imagnetsux (12/19/2013) [-]
i'd do it.
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