21 Men That Are Now Single For
A Reason. It' s Hard Not To Feel
Sorry For These Girls.
I. A girl once asked me to keep my dorm
door unlocked so that she could wake me
up in the morning. The next morning she
crawled into bed with me, and I couldn' t
understand why she would come over if
she was " tired.
I stayed perfectly still so that she would be
able to sleep.
2. A girl once asked to use my shower, and
left the door wide open as an invitation.
So I thought i' d be a funny guy and throw
ice cubes at her.
3. This girl and I were alone in my apartment,
and we' d Just finished watching a movie.
She' d had her head resting on my lap the
entire time. Afterwards we were spooning
on the couch, she cuddled up against me,
kissed me on the cheek, and looked up at
me expectantly. I stared at her for a few
moments and then said, "so... what do
you want to do?". After a while I ended up
taking her home.
4. In high school, a girl asked me for a ride
home from a football game one time, to
which I agreed. She asked if I wanted to
come in and see her room it forget why
this seemed like a normal thins)» and that
it wouldn' t bother her parents because
they weren' t home.
So, I went in and had a tour of her house,
then left. I was pretty pissed off when t
Figured it out a while later.
5. She ordered an Icescream cone,
accidentally' smeared it on her cheek, and
asked me to get it off. I grabbed the last
napkin and wiped it off. Persistent as ever,
she 'accidentally' smears Icescream on her
other cheek and politely informs me that I
can get it off with my mouth, given our
napkin dermit. [just said, "Nah, I hate
strawberry", and used my dry elbows to
get It off.
In hindsight, I should have used my shirt.
6. Her: "No one has even asked me to
Me: "Yeah, me either. so what are you
going to do?"
Her: ''well, I guess if no one is going to ask
me... I' ll probably just stay home."
Me: "That' s probably what I' ll end up
Her: "Yeah, so... it would be really nice to
Me: ''I agree, but oh we'll"
Me: "Mind If I call you that night?"
7. I once had a cute female In my bed. Said
she was cold. So... I gave her another
g. I was dropping my date off at her
apartment after a nice evening. She asked
me up for coffee, but I politely declined,
stating ''I can' t drink coffee late at night, it
keeps me up"
Lady, if you' re out there, I didn' t realize
that coffee didn' t really mean ... well,
9. One time, a girl kissed me on a school bus
without warning and told me that I could
get off at her stop and we could walk to
her house because her parents weren' t
home. I said no because I was going to
Miss Dragonball z.
IO. Sitting next to her at a school play:
Her: "My hands are cold."
Me: "Mine too"
Continue to do nothing
11. I was coming back home and I was at the
bag pickup. This really cute girl and I
started talking. The conversation was
about how she was Just visiting Miami and
really didn' t know where to go. After a
while we realized that we were the only
two people who haden' t gotten their bags
cause we were at the wrong conveyor.
After some joking and a trip to the
baggage claim we got our bags and stayed
there talking for a bit. My mom called me
telling me that she was outside. I said I
had to go and I saw a small look of
confusion/ frown on her face. I got into the
car and then it hit me: she wanted me to
show her around town, duh. I just look at
my mom and said, "you have raised the
biggest idiot on the planet."
12. Hung out with girl regularly and she
proceeds to walk me out to my car every
night we are together. We stand around
the car for 20 minutes having what seems
to be awkward conversations every time.
Did nothing and left.
13. I was at my tutor' s house, and for some
reason was in her bedroom. I lay down on
the bed (feet touching floor), and she
came over and straddled me. Must kind of
stared up at her; she looked down at me
for a few moments, then got off and said
OK, let' s do the lesson.
It wasn' t until a couple of months later
that t was like hey, she was waiting for me
to make a move. I was clueless because
she was my teacher, and she talked about
her boyfriend fairly frequently anyway.
M. Gave a girl a ride home, "Want to come in?
My parents are at work." Nah, I' m gonna
go hang out with my buddies.
15. Girl comes over, changes into a pair of my
boxers and lays in bed. Did nothing,
wondered why she' s wearing them, they
are obviously too big for her.
Drunk with friends playing card game. Two
girls go upstairs and motion me to come.
Hold on, I need to finish this game."
17. After dinner and a movie, we went to a
convenience store, she told me to go
inside and get "anything I needed". So I
come out with a bag of sun chips and two
raspberry flavored water bottles. She does
a face palm.
18. High school, sophomore year. A really cute
girl who lived down the street called me at
around to say that her skirt zipper
was broken and she couldn' t take it off.
She goes on to say her family isn' t home
and no one else is in the house to help her
remove it, and could I come over and help
her because "it' s an emergency".
She adds that she' ll reward me with a
glass of wine, since she just had one
herself and her parents aren' t home.
I, being the utter genius that I am, walk
her through (over the phone) how to
dissect a zipper, complete with getting
angry at her for being slow to get pliers
from her dad' s garage like I directed her to
After hanging up I felt like a great citizen.
Now when I look back on It, I just want to
19. Her: so this girl I know likes this guy I
know but he' s been oblivious to all of her
signals, so what does she have to do to tell
him she likes him?
Me: I don' t know, Just tell him she likes
Her: Like, ''I like you?'' Just like that?
Me: Yeah, like that.
Her'. I like you.
Me: Yeah, tell her to tell him that, and
she' ll be all set.
Me: Yup, you' got it... was there
20. Girl made me a mix CD with gooey love
songs. Listened to two, threw it away
because the music sucks.
21. on a walk with a . "My hands are
cold." My thoughts "OH SWEET]
BROUGHT GLOVES, SHE' LL LOVE THIS."
Procure gloves, girl says no thanks with a
puzzled look. My thoughts: "What is she
crazy? These are DESIGNED to warm up