NSFW lately
Con" ret.
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42 comments displayed.
#14
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crlmsonhazard (12/13/2015) [-] 
Lol women can just go to a bar and ask dudes for schlong. No reason to schlick to porn
#15 to #14
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ifailedmyact [OP](12/13/2015) [-] Jokes on you, I'm too lame to be hanging out at a bar, much less have a cute 8/10 give me the rooster. :/ you have a point though
#37 to #35
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ifailedmyact [OP](12/13/2015) [-] That's a perfect score on my scale. However, this situation only applies to movies. We better be making a porno.
#16 to #15
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deadfed ONLINE (12/13/2015) [-]
You dont have to be interesting, or good looking to be at a bar. Ive been to a local hells angels bar, and theres all types. Ive seen old black guys dancing with young white women. Smoked a blunt with the bartender, turns out shes a practicing attorney. I havent been to too many bars, too many times, but from what I have been I can confirm if youre female, by the end of the night you can get laid.
#17 to #16
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ifailedmyact [OP](12/13/2015) [-] Totally, no doubt dude. The real truth is, I don't go out much, talk to too many people, much less go to a bar. I enjoy staying home and watching porn. I'm confident I can get laid, I just don't care too much for it.
#18 to #17
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deadfed ONLINE (12/13/2015) [-]
Im an introvert, so I dont really like social settings but somehow I set myself up to be the opposite. A good friend of mines wife was cheating on him so he wanted to go to the bar, only reason Ive been there really. Im really not one for parties, but I like drugs so go when Im invited and in doing so people still think Im a people person from high school. Tell you the truth, In high school I had one girlfriend so I was just happy as hell about that and made a lot of friends, but I moved away senior year and somewhat keep in touch with people. Im a man of my word so Ive always done what I told people I would, and people respect that, so thats why it seems like I have so many friends. If only they knew how much I dreaded almost every time I went and hung out. Im not so confident I could get laid. I had sex many times with that one girlfriend from high school, but thats it. I still dont know how the hell I landed that.
Sorry to rant.
Sorry to rant.
#19 to #18
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ifailedmyact [OP](12/13/2015) [-] Damn man, that's the point, your confidence is low. If you actually want to get laid, I don't think going to a bar or club is even necessary, you just need to have a better outlook and work on confidence. Like, okay, when I'm at work, this one dude usually comes up to me when he's on break. His confidence is high, and he tells me about how he just decided that he wanted to **** bitches so he decided to become an alpha. Not his exact words, just what I've gathered in my mind . Physically, he's only 7/10 attractive, but confidence is 9/10 10/10 if he wasn't so obvious about how much he wants to bang me . He tells me he just goes up to random cute chicks and tells them they're cute. You would think that doesn't work but he's confident enough about it. I'm not interested because I'm into someone else and my morals enable me not to want to have sex with him, but if I was another chick, I'd go for it. Basically, just do it, just get laid. Go talk to hoes, they're everywhere. everywhere
Lmao, hope this helps unless you don't actually care about getting laid... or it doesn't help you regardless.
Lmao, hope this helps unless you don't actually care about getting laid... or it doesn't help you regardless.
#20 to #19
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deadfed ONLINE (12/13/2015) [-]
I really dont care. Ive had sex before, like I said, its just not a priority for me. Its nothing to do with not knowing how to talk to people, I just dont like to talk and socialize. Youre right, hoes are everywhere. I dont want to **** a hoe, if anything Id like a stable relationship but **** my life isnt stable at the moment. Im out of work right now, just left a partnership in an auto/body business because my partner was getting too greedy. Its getting to be winter so all the factories around are slowing down. I mentioned I like drugs, I dont smoke meth but I have plenty of connects, and anybody can get laid in that crowd. Simply not my vibe, not where I want to be when Jesus comes back. Around here, the crack pipe is the key to her heart. I just like to do my own thing, which currently is looking for work and getting my tool collection up, since I stopped working at the shop I have very little.
#21 to #20
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ifailedmyact [OP](12/13/2015) [-] Hmm, you lead a very interesting life. I'm similar, in ways. For example, I don't like to socialize too much or go out. Yet, that's because I find it hard to relate to others and I feel awkward about the things I say. I also would just like a simple stable relationship, so I don't go looking to get laid. I just don't care. I like smoking. I've tried a variety of other drugs, but can only stick to weed and sometimes Lsd. Also, "When Jesus comes back", are you a Christian? Or did you mean that I'm some other way?
#22 to #21
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deadfed ONLINE (12/13/2015) [-]
I am a christian, I was raised pentecostal. I say christian to put it simply. I dont dismiss any religious texts or group, because I dont think anything has all the answers. Its just hard for me to believe there is no God. Except for mormons, **** the mormons. I was referencing Joe Dirt though, not trying to bring religion into it."Is this where you wanna be when Jesus comes back?", thats just a funny quote from the movie. Im awkward as well, until were on the same page and can really talk about **** . Just standing around trying to make small talk doesnt work for me.
#23 to #22
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ifailedmyact [OP](12/13/2015) [-] Cool, cool. I'm a Christian too. Deff believe all the answers lie with Jesus, though. Truly, I look up at the sky and there's really no doubt to me that there is a God. I just wouldn't say I'm the perfect example of a Christian, at all. I've been trying lately though.
Never heard of this movie which you speak of, but that's an interesting quote I could live by. Definitely though, small talk is the worst. It almost always ends with me having the last word, which is why I feel so awkward around people. Never really feel like what I have to say is important enough to be heard. At least around "normal" people.
Never heard of this movie which you speak of, but that's an interesting quote I could live by. Definitely though, small talk is the worst. It almost always ends with me having the last word, which is why I feel so awkward around people. Never really feel like what I have to say is important enough to be heard. At least around "normal" people.
#24 to #23
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deadfed ONLINE (12/13/2015) [-]
You say that like there is a perfect christian. Were all born in sin, saved only by grace. Some factions believe you have to be baptised, some that you have to give confession, I believe that God knows humanity is tainted because there was evil in mans heart before and after the flood. The flood was intended to wipe out the evil part of humanity, but Noah got drunk and passed out, and his son saw him and got his brothers to cover him up. If sin was washed away they wouldnt have that perversion of being naked and wouldnt feel the need to cover him. Thats why God sent Jesus to the cross, to give his life for the sins of all humanity. So now you dont have to follow a strict guide line to be saved, just not be inherently evil. Every man is born with their measure of faith. You are a soul, so when you make a decision you know in your heart wether its good or bad, I believe your choices based on that feeling is what determines whether it is sinful. They say killing is a sin, but there are instances in the bible where God tells people to kill. Why did they kill? Was it survival or revenge? Anger or despair? Another reason not to judge others.
#25 to #24
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ifailedmyact [OP](12/13/2015) [-] You're completely right. And I knew that already, but I guess I should think more before I type. Because what you said is what I really wanted to say, just not the way it came out. There's no perfect Christian, I just meant that my relationship with Jesus right now isn't as strong as it used to be, and I'm trying more to get closer to Him lately. Hmm, I've always known the history of Noah and the flood, but I never put two and two together about his nakedness and the remainder of sin. Hey man, this ended up being an interesting convo. I haven't prayed in a while, but somehow your block of text got me motivated. Thanks man, they say God works in mysterious ways, lol.
#26 to #25
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deadfed ONLINE (12/13/2015) [-]
I dont go to church, and I dont sit down and pray. To me, my prayers are my everyday thoughts. I recently went to my childhood church and they want to surround you and pray for you in tongues, and its cool for them, but thats just not how my relationship with God works. The pastors idea of praying for somebody is touching their head and saying, "praise God" and "thank you" over and over. Being pentacostal they sing a lot. Just not how I worship.
Again, sorry to rant, dont mean to bother you. Im glad our conversation helped you in your religious endeavors. I cant tell you whats right, or how to worship, only share my beliefs and hope He guides.
Again, sorry to rant, dont mean to bother you. Im glad our conversation helped you in your religious endeavors. I cant tell you whats right, or how to worship, only share my beliefs and hope He guides.
#28 to #26
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ifailedmyact [OP](12/13/2015) [-] Hey, I don't really go to church either. Mainly because I feel my church is dead. To me, a real church is the people. If the people in the building are dea, the church is dead. I mean dead as in failing, non-cooperative, so conservative or liberal that they've lost all sight of what being a Christian really means. So, I rarely visit. To me praying is kneeling or laying in bed before I sleep and having a conversation with God. Spending quiet time alone for a while and telling Him about my life Even though he already knows all about it, more than I do of myself, but it's out of trust and love and humility , asking Him for strength as the days go by.
But hey, you've got a pal in me, and it's been really cool talking to you. So, if you don't mind, add me? I'm heading to bed now, like a scrub.
But hey, you've got a pal in me, and it's been really cool talking to you. So, if you don't mind, add me? I'm heading to bed now, like a scrub.
#2 to #1
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ZetzueRyuho ONLINE (12/12/2015) [-] **ZetzueRyuho used "*roll picture*"**
**ZetzueRyuho rolled image** Just keep fapping brother, keep fapping.
**ZetzueRyuho rolled image** Just keep fapping brother, keep fapping.
#34 to #33
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ifailedmyact [OP](12/13/2015) [-] Lmao, you made me laugh in public though. That's what matters.
#38
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anon (12/13/2015) [-]
I don't always browse on funnyjunk, but when I do it's with the illusional hope that I would find something funny, I have better sources for pron
#29
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icicles (12/13/2015) [-] HER HAND IS HER ******* PANTS
YOU NEEDD TO CHILL OUT AND BE MORE CAREFUL WHEN COLORING
YOU NEEDD TO CHILL OUT AND BE MORE CAREFUL WHEN COLORING
